To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Take action

Staying within the lines: A nudge to stay on track

How in the world did I not know the term, “rumble strips?” Honestly, did you know this?Or am I not the only one who learned this as a 50-year-old? Don’t tell me I am the lone idiot, folks!

At any rate, I heard a terrific series from Levi Lusko on this whole idea of how we all need “rumble strips.” (You know, those lines or bumps in the road that keep you within the lanes… guard rails are similar in principle, but God knows we don’t want to actually hit those.)

This whole thing really hit me. What areas of life do we need some reminders on to stay focused on our lane? Who speaks into your life as a “rumble strip,” caring enough to tell you when you are out of line in your thoughts or actions? What do you personally do to ensure your thoughts and actions are aligned with your true core values? (A practical example: What movies, shows or music are you listening to that may not be aligned with those?)

Like you, I am a good person who tries to do the right thing in order to live my best life. Still, I slip off of the road at times. Often with diet or exercise. Sometimes with my thoughts about life and not being aligned fully to what I know to be true. I need to spend some time telling my “tribe” to be strong “RUMBLE STRIPS” for me.

Dear God, I hope I can handle their feedback at my age, following my personal goal of asking others to “cater to my success, not my ego,” in their honest comments.

Anyone else with me?

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Doing “business” with God’s word

Priscilla Shirer is credited with the quote here in the photo. She is one of the top Bible teachers of our time… Around my age — younger I think — and full of sass and wisdom.

Her devotional, “Awaken,” was given to me at the end of last year and it is really good. I spent more time with it in  January and February this year, and need to dive back in. This idea above was in the introduction, followed quickly by a call to action to “not just scan the Bible, but to do business with it.”

I don’t know about you, but that speaks to me. You see, I have learned over the past few years that the one place I really “hear from God” is when I’m reading His word. That is when I listen for that still-small voice that points me in the right direction — and yes, at times, redirects. If you haven’t found out this truth yet, please give it a try. It is worth your time to really explore the meanings of the scriptures and how they impact your life directly today. Sometimes it is less easy to see how it is lived out in my life, but at times it is so clear I could argue it was written yesterday, intended for me personally.

If the whole idea of hearing from God via His word is new to you, or seems hard to embrace, feel free to reach out. I’d be glad to show you how I started, just 7 or 8 years ago. It has revolutionized my life and it’s pretty darn cool.

Have an amazing week.

Dialing in to trust: A force multiplier

Trust is an essential element for any relationship.

If your children trust that they can share with you they will do so, at least more often. If you have strong trust in your relationships at work with your team and the leadership, you can accomplish what may otherwise seem (or even be) insurmountable.

In a truly great book, “The Soft Edge,” by Rich Karlgaard he devotes much time to sharing stories and research on the power of building trust in business especially. The bottom line is this: profits and customer engagement are off the charts for teams that have a strong sense of trust.

“The big lesson: You can pay for someone’s time at work, and people will show up and do what they need to do. But you can’t wrench ideas, extraordinary effort and innovative solutions from their minds. Instead, if you give trust and respect, you’ll find those great, innovative ideas readily offered.”

It is interesting to me that more leaders don’t spend more time ensuring they get this absolutely right. (According to Karl, only 19% of people trust business leaders to make ethical or moral decisions. Worse yet, only 18% trust business leaders to even tell the truth… Side note: I think this is true in parenting. We sometimes don’t think we should have to “build” trust in our homes, but I’d say that healthier homes depend on it.)

The book has some strategies for building trust, (transparency and authenticity are key…), but I won’t go into a full playbook here. As always in this blog, I hope to inspire you to consider the topic and to take action if you believe it is speaking to you. I have been in organizations where this has proven beyond true, and can personally give you the differences if you reach out to me. This is critical in our homes, communities and work. Let’s stay on top of it and grow where we can.

A conversation that matters

Tuesday was the kick-off to the annual Seven Days events in Kansas City. I attended a terrific session on Tuesday night, “A Rabbi, an Imam, and an Evangelical Minister Walk into a Bar.” It was a conversation about “being your neighbor’s keeper.” It was pure delight.

It reminded me that I needed to make this the point of today’s blog. I have posted previously about these events, and as Seven Days is in their 4th year, I think it is important to share their story and encourage you to join in for some of the events and for sure the conversation.

The rest of the blog is primarily a rewind of the post from 2016. The information is as true today as ever, as we strive for progress at a higher pace. Please take some time to follow this important conversation. You will be better for it!

Rewind from 2016:

I asked one of my boys to attend the session Tuesday night explaining why this idea of Interfaith is important. He was confused because in his mind he is certainly open to all races and religions and as far as he was concerned there was not a good reason to learn more about the topic. I loved that, because I think it explains how many feel. Not long ago most of our country could say that they embraced all others. As generations have become educated and society progresses we have indeed made great strides forward.

I have to admit that I also didn’t like this response at all, because I personally know that there is so much more. It wasn’t until just a few years ago (well into my 40s- Yikes, now 50) that I attended a friend’s Passover Seder, which was an important step in understanding her faith. I still haven’t made the steps necessary to learn about my Muslim neighbors, and the list goes on. So, yes, we have made progress, but we have to do more to make the impact that is possible and necessary.

This summary below is just that, a high level overview… I’d love to hear your thoughts and also if you have questions, I’d be happy to moderate getting those to the Rabbi.

Why Interfaith? A lot of reasons, but in our current environment, understanding is the imperative to solving global issues that didn’t really exist prior to the current fast-paced communication and social media opportunities that ensure we have at our ready world-wide news and can react and respond right away. (One note: In last night’s session (2018), the panel talked about the change from the term interfaith to multi-faith, noting that we should not have to give up our individual beliefs, but be in friendship and hold respect for one another(s)…I like that A LOT.)

A great example he gave: In our country we enjoy freedom of religion, which is why my son answered as he did – makes sense. Unfortunately other countries do not enjoy freedom of religion. It is important for us all to understand the implications of this on world peace.

4 keys ways we can inspire each other in interfaith (multifaith):

  1. ENCOUNTER one another – Yep, invite your Muslim neighbor over, or if you are Muslim, invite your Christian neighbor over to begin a conversation of understanding.
  2. STUDY other countries, religions, beliefs – We must challenge ourselves to understand fully the traditions of others to truly understand them.
  3. PRAYER – The Rabbi included this and I thought it was great. This may seem like an easy list, but it isn’t. Even taking the first step seems some how beyond our ability to just jump out and make it a priority. We need to pray that God would give us a passion for understanding.
  4. SERVICE – Perfect that he ended with this. The idea being that once we come together we can translate that into ACTION that makes our communities and countries stronger.   Let’s contemplate that today!

There are some great activities/events happening in KC this week as a part of SevenDays. Check out the website for the full details.

Have a strong wrap to your week!

What kind of king did they expect? Celebrating Holy Week

It’s Palm Sunday and although many know the story, I think it is always good to go deeper and really try to wrap your mind around the meaning and how it impacts us today.

This is my “Simple Thoughts Sunday” version, but I do have to admit this is anything but “simple” for me. As a Christian who is full of faith, I believe fully — but on the other side, I totally understand why some would question the whole story. I mean, how can a community literally lay down their total respect, and welcome a “King” one day, and just a few days later persecute and ultimately murder him? How could that happen?

After a bit of research, I have come to understand that quite possibly the crowds who welcomed Jesus into town on that first Palm Sunday, waving their palm branches to demonstrate their honor, were not the same community members who rallied for his death. Those that stood in the former camp were those that likely expected “their King” to come and set up new political systems and otherwise fight to protect them from the Roman control. They quite possibly were also put off by the teachings that we should repent of our sins and instead change our hearts and shine our light for a brighter world through our actions of mercy and love.

This “King” was the complete opposite of the king they expected. They wanted bold and bravado. Jesus represented an approach that was difficult to embrace.

As you begin Holy Week, I think it’s useful to contemplate what kind of “King” (or person leading your life) would you truly want. I personally love the “King” that I believe came to literally save us from ourselves. Someone who is full of grace and forgiveness, yet who in their strength, gives me the confidence and faith that I fully know that “He’s got this,” no matter what situation I’m in.

Have a wonderful week my friends. It is such a blessing to be alive at this moment in time, and to as a community share our different faiths and showcase love at all times.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: How’s your soul?

(Photo Creds: My own)

(Rewind: This post comes from last March’s blog after a conference. One of the speakers recommended this exercise, which I’m still convinced has served me well and bears repeating!)

So, HOW IS YOUR SOUL? I mean how are you doing? (And not the “I’m fine. It’s all good.” answer we give in the corridors of life.)

Are you truly happy? Joyful?

Are you empty or sad? Have you or a loved one had a loss of some kind?

Are you afraid of the next season of life? Confident and ready to take it on?

Are you content, and wish you had more desire to “change the world?”

Well, I’m not sure yet because I haven’t done the exercise, but my gut reaction is that it is a combination of the above.  I love this idea of doing a literal check-in  or check up, for my medical friends, with your soul. To write it out and and ask why or why not, and develop some steps to move closer to where you want to be. I think it would be a fun “task” to do with someone that knows you really well.

This blog seems to always lean toward this concept of improving in how we serve. Serving ourselves and others well is critical to our ultimate happiness and ability to live out God’s purpose. He is quite clear that we are here on this planet, in this very zip code, to serve others and shine a light to make the world a better place than we found it. We do this with each daily decision and action. The cumulative result is a life fully lived.

I encourage you to walk through this “check in/up” and in the process, give God praise for both the joy and the pain and to seek his word as a guide to help you close the gaps in the areas that need some attention. The truth found in Galatians 5 has always been one of my favorites:

“But the fruit of the Spirit (what God desires for us), is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control…” (22-23 NIV)

Anything else is not his desire for us and not our destiny. We therefore need to understand those are not his will and ask him to show us the truth and walk toward that! As always, I’m cheering you on!

What pressing problem can I help solve?

This lady had some BRAVADO: Word on the street (and in the magazines) is that Lori Goler, Facebook’s human resources chief, got the job basically by cold-calling Sheryl Sandberg.

The question in the title of today’s blog is what she asked that triggered Sandberg to respond.

“We need help recruiting.” Here’s the thing: All leaders have problems to solve. That is the entire reason they (and we) are hired in the first place. On any given day, I assure you a leader would love if you come to the office with this question on your mind. How can I solve problems? How can I best serve today? What issue, if we address it right, will make us achieve our goals, improve employee satisfaction, make our customer experience the best it can be…? You get the point.

I think this question is golden at home as well as in the community – and even in places you wouldn’t think. My mom lives in a retirement community and I know that if she asked this question, they would have a response. Whether it’s providing useful feedback or diving in to fix issues, the “sha-bang” problems exist all around and are looking for people that are ready to rise to the occasion and help to solve.

*Side note: Huge shout out to the kids in Florida who are championing the effort to solve our country’s enormous problem with school shootings. They are jumping in and using their voice. I have no idea where it will go, but I applaud them! Any collective effort we can make to solve problems, both big and small, are key to our ongoing growth and success.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Unity

A month of UNITY. We need feel-good moments in this country, and I love that February helps do just that.

Between the Super Bowl (shout out to what I consider to be the best Superbowl in my 50 years!), Black History Month and the Winter Olympics, we have a ton of opportunity to step in to the conversation of unity.

If you follow me on Instagram or Twitter you may have seen that I attended UMKC’S Martin Luther King Jr. lecture series, and boy was that powerful. I am forever humbled by what I don’t know despite 50 years on this Earth. Our nation has been through a lot. We are better for what we’ve experienced, and we should all be intentional about taking time to learn about our past and let it inform our present.

I hadn’t given much thought to the fact that slavery in America existed for 339 years, and that just about every major institution played a part in it. Science proves out that the lasting impacts of this are still alive and well today. I had no idea. Thank you to Dr. Joy DeGruy and the hundreds of other people who have made it their mission to bring awareness and galvanize us all into action.

Unity is an all-encompassing term, but understanding the history of our country can go a long way in helping us sort out why we’re where we are today. We can do better. We are, as we know from the Bible, dependent on each other and are one in Christ. That is the truth; that is powerful.

My prayer is that we will all consider what little we know and make an effort to gain a greater understanding. If we can take that knowledge and make it useful in our generation (and those we impact: children, grandchildren, etc.), honoring the heritage of all people, we stand a much great chance of achieving peace and love all of the days of our lives.

Anyone else with me on this? We can – and should – DO THIS!

2017, The final review: Books I loved

Reading — and continuous learning in general, really — is among the top three things we can do to grow personally, if you ask me.

I realized I wrapped up 2017 without my final reading list, so I thought today would be a great day to get this on the record. In fact, as February kicks off, I hope you will find one that interests you enough to grab a copy on Amazon or your local bookstore.

With the temperatures still hovering around freezing, it’s the perfect time to shut off the television and jump into learning! (For many, it’s getting lost in a fictional story. I seem to prefer nonfiction. Whatever you fancy, the practice expands your mind, imagination and thinking so go for what you love.)

Here are some thoughts on a few books that I loved in particular, but my full reading list from May through December is at the end:

Higher is Waiting, Tyler Perry

  • Why I loved it: Frankly I just love Tyler Perry (AKA Madea), so it didn’t matter what it was — I knew I’d probably like it. The thing is, his book is pure gold. This is where I got the idea from a December blog to ask those you love to write you a letter versus giving a gift. I did this and my boys and my mom wrote me the most wonderful, personal letters. I will cherish them forever and make this an annual practice. Books like this provide us those “gems” that enrich our lives.

Side Hustle, Chris Guillebeau

  • Why I loved it: Our current economy is sometimes referred to as the “gig” economy. What this means is that many people have made it a practice to have many “side” streams of income coming in. Chris promises to go from an idea to income in 27 days. This is a simple and practical little book that highlights ideas and stories that just might be a game changer for you.

A Resilient Life, Gordon MacDonald

  • Why I loved it: First of all, let’s just say that I really loved it! I have gifted it multiple times now and paid my boys to read this one. If they soak up even a part of it, their lives will change in the best possible ways. The book is older and full of wisdom. It is a Christian perspective on business and life. Some of the ideas that got me thinking: Who stretches your mind? Who listens to and encourages your dreams? When forming your group of close friends, you might ask: Who will protect you? Those alone are worth the price of the book and that is just a glimpse. If you only pick up one of these, pick this.

Whisper, Mark Batterson

  • Why I loved it: Mark is my very favorite Christian author. His book the Circle Maker is another I gift often. Mark’s books are full of stories, science and studies that compel you to be better and stronger. This book is about hearing from God and how we do so. I loved his story about Pure Delight: “Seven times in the book of Genesis, God steps back from the canvas of his creation and admires. It is his reaction and is expressed as “good” which comes from the Hebrew work tob… joy unspeakable. That first emotion sets the tone, sets the bar. God delights in what he does and he wants nothing less for us.”

Of Mess and Moxie, Jen Hatmaker

  • Why I loved it: Jen is hilarious and inspiring. She captures motherhood — and she has her hands full to say the least, so she knows the job well. One of my favorite quotes in the book she attributed to Brennan Manning: “Many people between the ages of 30 and 60, whatever their stature in the community and whatever their personal achievements, undergo what can truly be called a second journey. The second journey begins when we know we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the morning program.” It’s good.

Unscripted, Ernie Johnson Jr.

  • Why I loved it: This one is especially for the men but good for everyone. I pick up books like this so I can better understand my boys. Ernie is a long-time NBA commentator and the books takes us through his journey, including a fierce battle with cancer. I loved this concept: “God has given us many moments that blessed us and blessed those who seek them. I call those blackberries (blackberry moments). If get get too tied up in what we’re doing in our jobs, in the game, in whatever it is, we miss them, and when we do, we’re missing out on so much.”

Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes

  • Why I loved it: I heard 100 times how great this was before I picked it up. It IS that good. Go get this one for sure. It’s fun, useful and is exactly what the title says about making a decision to get out and say yes to things, including and especially those that scared Shonda.

Braving the Wilderness, Brene Brown

  • Why I loved it: Another amazing work from Brene who has blessed us with game-changing TED Talk, “The Power of Vulnerability,” and three other terrific books. Brene is a research professor at the University of Houston and lives out a life of impact. She covers why joy and pain are collective journeys, including the need to “show up” to experience these with those you love and why it is so powerful. So many good concepts that you really should read the book.

She’s Still There, Chrystal Evans Hurst

  • Why I loved it: I think this is her first book. She comes from a family of writers and musicians. I have to say, this was an amazing read. She could have titled it different, but it is full of great insights and inspiration. One idea I noted and love, “Schedule celebration moments monthly.” Love that.

Quiet, Susan Cain

  • Why I loved it: There is a reason this book has earned so much notoriety. It’s one about introverts, and as someone who is just over the edge into being an extrovert, I adored this book and the science and thinking behind the work. This should be a must-read for anyone who works with people, including parents. One of the thoughts: “One genuine relationship is worth a fistful of business cards.” True, true and true!

Black Privilege, Charlamagne tha God

  • Why I loved it: I loved it because it is SO out of my normal category of books. The language and approach aren’t quite my cup of tea but, we MUST learn and grow by understanding others and this is a great way to do it. Charlamagne is a popular co-host on the nationally syndicated hip-hop iHeart Radio program the Breakfast Club, and a featured television personality. He tells his story in a way that makes you feel like you were a part of it. His quote: “If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this book, it’s that privilege is something that everyone can access.” It’s worth your time.

Tribe of Mentors, Tim Ferris

  • Why I loved it:  Tim Ferris may be my favorite author at the moment. Last year he wrote Tools of Titans and his famous 4-hour work week, that he wrote a few years ago, are both best sellers. This book is essentially “short life advice” from who he considers some top contemporary influencers in our society today. It’s easy to read and full of wonderful ideas. He asks the same series of questions to these influencers and showcases their answers. My favorite question was: “What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about how to enter the “real world?” With 200 answers to this, I think I sent 50 to my boys… Brilliant format and a must-read.

Let me know if you end of reading any of these. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy!

Lessons from the Market

Who is ready for the farmer’s market to come back? You might recognize the famous sign above, from a year-round market that keeps going no matter how low the temperatures fall.

That is, of course, the Pike Place original farmer’s market, established in 1907 in Seattle.

I read about another famous market — the Tsukiji fish market in Tokyo — where they sell millions of dollars in frozen fish. So many untold stories of success.

Here’s the thing, that and many farmer’s markets operate still without technology, relying on basic math, receipt scraps and a handshake. I think that is why I love farmer’s markets: the simplicity and pureness in the exchange. From the ground to the pick up truck; from the market to our homes. The fewer steps the better, and the experience lends itself to authenticity and a feeling that you are part of something powerful in the community.

Long ago are the days that we exchanged goods with a simple handshake. To me, a good solid handshake still inspires trust and the hope for a relationship that will be mutually beneficial. A neuroscience study by the Beckman Institute confirms that in fact the basic handshake, “not only increases the positive effect toward a favorable interaction, but is also diminishes the impact of a negative impression.” It quite literally “lights up the brain” in MRI studies. That’s not surprising to me, but it should make us all remember that when developing a trusting relationship, we must realize that the warmth of a firm handshake creates an impression that is proven to make a positive difference.

As we think today about the “market” — defining this as a place to purchase goods from an actual person who likely played a part in their existence at the market — I want you to think about the following (in addition to dreaming of walks and fresh produce in warmer weather!):

  1. Simplifying life is good. Out with the multi-step program, processed food, processed information — in with the basics. (Remember our talks about minimalism from earlier this month?)
  2. Relationships are built on trust. I would add that this starts in community. A business mastermind, in your neighborhood, a small group at church….
  3. There is power in your approach. Your handshake, smile, willingness to ask thoughtful, empathetic questions, showing interest… it’s all important. Communities have thrived for years based on these simple lessons learned in the marketplace exchange.