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Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

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How to live out honor

Honor | It’s a heavy word. A word filled with so much opportunity. A word bursting with love and meaning.

I have a friend who shared a recent conversation/argument they were having with their fiancé. The exchange was hurtful, leaving a recovery scene of fear and pain – anything but honor.

Similarly, I was in my office last week when I overheard a staff member sharing how they were hurt by another employee’s comments about them that they heard through the grapevine.

Without giving a lot of thought to our words, we create an environment that does not promote honor. How and why does this happen? I do not believe that’s anyone’s intent. It’s not like you wake up and say to yourself, “Today I am going to extend hurt instead of love… ” That doesn’t happen in the world I live in, yet the reality is our homes, car and corridors at times leave a residue of dishonor.

Today, it would be awesome to put honor back on top of our lists. I even told my young, soon-to-be-married friend that if I had to do it over, I might tattoo “honor” on my wrist before my wedding day. Beyond my marriage, the permanent reminder to show honor to the ones I love and who God has entrusted and surrounded me with seems like a great idea.

What is honor? Honor is focusing on admiration & respect in all we do. Here are some thoughts that might be helpful:

  • Compliment early and often – Esteem those deserving publicly and privately
  • Be patient – Remember that “slow to speak…” blog from Sunday?
  • Ask questions and show interest – Actually appreciate differences and opposing view points
  • Overlook mistakes and comments
  • Use the Acronym THINK in your thoughts, intentions and actions – Is it True? Helpful? Inspiring? Necessary? Kind?
  • Forgive quickly

One of my favorite coaching messages for myself and others is to “always wear the white hat,” stand above the comments you know aren’t real, but are full of emotion and a pain generally not rooted in the truth. If you like Michelle Obama, then her famous quote, “When they go low, we go high,” comes to mind.

Let’s outdo each other with HONOR this week.

“A soul generated by love” – Wrapping up Black History Month

I didn’t want the month to end without once again highlighting Black History Month.

I feel like our country is really starting to take hold of the idea that we need to become more educated on the issues we face by not being aware of the issues of our past. There are so many new authors really taking on this subject in a powerful way.* If we can all make a decision to do our part in truly diving into history and what it means to us today, I can imagine a world that is stronger and more beautiful. The very idea of this blog is to provide insights that might help us all “level up” and really serve each other well. From my perspective, serving starts by understanding and then by coming alongside all people, in whatever way they need, to make our world better.

The quote in the picture above came from Martin Luther King Jr’s last sermon before he was assassinated. He continued to say:

“…You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You don’t have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve. You don’t have to know Einstein’s Theory of Relativity to serve. You don’t have to know the Second Theory of thermodynamics and physics to serve. You only need a heart full of gratitude. A soul generated by love.”

It’s no surprise that the month of “love” is also Black History month. Let us all remember that love has the power to overcome all challenges we face. We can choose to use that love to put forth actions that bring us a life and world of service and unity. Now, I can get down right joyful about that thought!

*If you’d like to jump into some good, easy reading around this topic, I’d highly recommend, “I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World made for Whiteness,” by Austin Channing Brown. I have several others that I’ve found quite helpful on my personal journey. Please feel free to message me if you are interested.

What do you need right now?

This captures my attention for some reason. I don’t know if it is because of the weather, or because it seems like every other conversation I have been a part of lately points to one of the parties needing a deeper level of caring.

We all tend to go through our days, moving through our agendas and checking off our lists, but I’m not sure we spend enough time thinking about what our hearts and souls are telling us they “need” at the moment. It seems that we need to listen and be aware more of those signs we are surely getting that say we need more of something – healthier food, sleep, etc. I also think that we should challenge our colleagues, friends, family and loved ones to ask the question and really act on what they need. I call this “self preservation” – some call it self care.

Self care has multiple benefits, impacting your physical and emotional health. It’s an important topic and one I hope that you all take action toward. As Lady Gaga said at the Grammy’s last week, and I shared on Sunday, “We gotta take care of each other.” We do this best if we take care of ourselves first.

Let’s make this coming weekend a time for drawing closer to what this might mean and act accordingly.

Taking action: Continuing to add wood to the fire – the demands of success

Most people know success is not a stagnant function. In order to “stay on top of our game,” we have to continue to “add wood to the fire.” I love this analogy in Grant Cardone’s best seller, ‘The 10X Rule.’ Sometimes we have no idea what we are fueling, but our actions tend to create results, for better or for worse. If we are truly hoping to serve in the best way, we must be clear about what areas we are adding wood (or water) to the fire.

So, for today, let’s think through some main areas of our lives….

Finances: Any wood I need to add here? Are there areas that require my attention? Any areas I need to add water and put the fire out a bit?

Spiritual: Is my fire at a slow burn, or are the embers barely lit?Am I shining as bright as I could and warming others in the process?

Career (be it in the community, home or retirement): What actions am I taking to ensure that I am continuously growing?

Health, Mind & Body: Am I optimizing what God has given me? Where do I need to add a few branches (or actions) to up my game? After all, I cannot really be successful without a healthy mind and body.

I hope the idea that continuous success requires ongoing action is something that resonates with you. The visual to me was a strong one. Some fires require actual large pieces of wood, some only need kindling, and others need a dousing of water to extinguish the crazy and bring us down a notch. Where do you need to take action?

Driving toward a growth mindset

Happy January 31st! The month felt like it was 1,000 days long and yet, for some reason, it’s hard to believe the first month of 2019 is over.

I feel like I’m still putting the ship in order for an amazing year. How about you? Did you hit your “must-have” list and generate some momentum heading into the rest of the quarter? How’s your health game going? Setting up plans to deepen those relationships? Strengthening your financial position? How about your career – be it managing the “castle” (aka, home), hustling in the workplace or the best career, known as “retirement? Did you make progress in leveling up in those areas? What about just surviving (which is a perfectly respectable goal!)?

When I saw this message, I knew immediately it had to reach a greater audience. For those who want to optimize their best life for this very season, it is critical to stay on task and intentionally build pathways to achieve what we hope will bring us closer to those goals.

As you close out this month and launch in to February, I hope this will inspire you to make the days and moments count. I pray your month is chock full of celebrations, intention and pure happiness, no matter what that may be for you!

Special note: February is Go Red month for the American Heart Association. Heart disease is the leading cause of death for all Americans. I hope you will join me in wearing Red tomorrow on Friday for national Go Red Day and together raise awareness! For more information, go to the AHA website. Being informed saves lives.

Leave every conversation with energy

Being an energy GIVER versus an energy TAKER is a goal that we should have.

When people interact with you, be it on the phone (yes an actual call), via text or in a meeting, do they leave noticing that they have more energy than when the communication began? Another way to say it, is do they feel better… more inspired, excited or hopeful?

This isn’t the kind of energy a cheerleader brings – although that is great energy. This is the kind that LIFTS the atmosphere. The kind that heightens your awareness of life itself and how we can accomplish and achieve so much more together. No matter if it is holding someone’s pain with them, challenging them to level up in a specific area, or encouraging them to develop a plan to achieve their personal goals… this ENERGY brings the mood of the room up a notch.

We all need energy transfusions. We all need to be more aware of how we “leave a conversation.” Are we elevating the ENERGY, or can we do better? I for one, can always do better by being more aware of even the most simple transactions…

I hope you’ll join me in raising the POSITIVE ENERGY in our world! We certainly need it!

Thank you, Dr. King

Please don’t dismiss this week’s celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you are a news junkie, no doubt it has been front and center (along with football playoffs and winter) the last few days. Others are avoiding the news, instead gravitating toward anything but the often-negative stories that flood into our homes.

For this week, it is worthwhile to take in the story of his life… again.

If you’d like a simple place, use this. The “I have a dream” video is also worth your 5 minutes.

My friend Gretchen who substitute teaches (lucky kids) told me that she asked her class the other day who today’s heroes are. The collective group couldn’t really come up with any. Maybe some athletes, but overall the exercise provided pause that left everyone asking who deserves such a title today? Who is doing work that addresses the big issues?

Thankfully there are a LOT of heroes in our world. Many who are quietly serving – and some more noteworthy … spending their days working on complex & big issues. But there is always room for more stand-outs who can GALVANIZE our country. People like Dr. King who sacrificed their lives for the good of man and society.

The quote above is my favorite of Dr. King’s. It resonates with me and I hope it does with you. What issues have we been silent about? The definition of silence meaning that you haven’t really done anything to share your concern and take action to help improve the situation. This could be as easy as walking by litter in your own neighborhood, or as complex as taking on the hate that impacts our world.

 (A shout out to my friend Mindy Corporon and family who are working toward improvement in this area via their foundation and their annual week-long event bringing awareness to these issues.) 

Whatever the issue is that you have a passion for, please don’t be silent. It’s a new year and I’m often glad Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday is celebrated this month, because this is a month to LAUNCH – to kick off or renew a commitment to what is important in our lives. (If you don’t have anything that stands out, please join Mindy and team.)

While you are at it, if you have children in your life that you can inspire, encourage them this week to identify those issues and begin to step forward as a leader to truly impact our world for the positive. I’m confident that today’s youth have what it takes to continue to make America the greatest country in the world.

Dominate THIS moment (and then the next)

dom-i-nate (verb) Have a commanding influence on; exercise control over.  Influence… Command… Govern… Direct, preside, master…

mo-ment (noun) A very brief period of time. An appropriate time for doing something; an opportunity. Instant… split second… jiff… juncture, stage…

Domination over our daily habits – and the systems we create to ensure we have positive habits – is a necessary action all of the time, but in particular this month. In his book, ‘Atomic Habits,’ James Clear shares how tiny changes can create remarkable results – GAME-CHANGING results.

One example is to be super clear on when we are going to do something we set out to do – identifying the what and when are the key. So, if you want to start doing 10 pushups you may say, “I am going to do 10 pushups, right after I brush my teeth and get into bed.” Easy, right? The difference is that simple. Establish a “system” around what you want to do.

It is mission critical for me to optimize my life so I can fulfill my purpose. I want to make an impact on those around me every single time I have the opportunity. I know many of you share that goal. We need to be on our game for this to actually happen. To that end, dominating our moments is just a tad important.

I hope this inspires you to think through what areas you need to dominate or influence in a short time to help you achieve your master goals… Dominating takes intention, but therein lies the difference we can make.

(As a side note for my #CHIEFSKINGDOM: Let’s dominate every moment of Sunday’s game like we did Saturday! Coaches, players and fans alike… let’s UNIFY to DOMINATE.)

“Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.” – Stephen Covey

The final review: The best of 2018 books (including my No. 1, and the entire list)

Let’s start with my No. 1 book. If you read no further, go out now and get the Excellence Dividend by Tom Peters. The book is easy to read, and conceptually will grab you from the opening chapter to the end… The sub categories of EXCELLENCE runs from the “next five minutes,” to “email excellence” and pure gold in between.

As for this rest of this, I truly have no idea how to condense this list to a best of the best. In my May 10 blog, I highlighted 5 books that are definitely must-reads. If you don’t have time to open the blog and read, they included…

  • The Little Big Things, Tom Peters
  • The Daniel Dilemma, Chris Hodges
  • The Power of Moments, Chip and Dan Heath
  • When, Daniel Pink
  • Principles, Ray Dalio

On May 14, I blogged about the Soft Edge by Rich Karlgaard, and its emphasis on the importance of dialing in on trust. And on August 8, I did a deep dive on The Blue Zones, by Dan Buettner, which helps us understand the characteristics of the environments and much more of the longest living people on earth. I think we need to add those two to the list for sure!

Since 13 is my lucky number, I’ll roll out 6 more here that I feel can be life changing for you. My full list of books from are included below, because there are so many amazing lessons to be found.

I’m Still Here, Black Dignity in a world made for Whiteness, Austin Channing Brown —This book is the one we ALL need to read. This book begins to help us understand our biases and, and “is a powerful account of how and why our actions so often fall short of our words.” You’ll be better for reading this one, and then acting on what you learn.

The Motivation Manifesto, Brendon Burchard — This came out in 2014, but somehow I believe I just found out about it… I’m certainly not sure how because the title alone fires me up. This book offers nine declarations to claim your personal power, stretching from reclaiming our agenda to amplifying love and slowing time. It’s pure gold.

The Business Romantic, Tim Leberecht — The words on the inside cover, “How can work be delightful – perhaps even magical?” had me at hello. Simple messages like, “Most great partnerships begin with the simple act of ‘breaking bread together,” and “I encourage you to prioritize joy over optimization” (by identifying and implementing small, enchanting changes…moments of surprise in the business day).

Imagine it Forward, Beth Comstock with Tahl Raz — I have this book marked up so much, I don’t know which direction to take you. The book is more or less a classic business book which pushes us to creativity through courage with a great deal of storytelling. The idea, “What’s needed are the skills of a social architect, someone who is committed to collaborating in a psychologically safe zone that allows for what I call agitated inquiry. Agitated inquiry is the practice of evolving an idea into action steps through heated exchanges and debate.” That captures the book well. If you are a business geek like me, you’ll love this one for sure.

Dare to Lead, Brene Brown — I loved this so much, I turned it into a leadership development program for our team. The subtitle, “Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts,” is the underlining focus. As a seasoned author, Brene raises the bar on her already stunning work. The book challenges us to think about how we “show up,” to truly dive into “the story I’m telling myself at any moment,” and to embrace that being clear is kind — always. So good. And even though lead is in the title, it is so much more than a leadership book… it’s a life book.

Becoming, Michelle Obama — I ended 2018 with this one on New Year’s Eve! It took me nearly the whole month to read, but it was worth it. I am so glad I took the time to dive deep into this one because I learned that I really had no idea who our former First Lady was, and the power of her story. Her ending focused on the idea of “becoming” and it’s a perfect way to end the year and today’s blog. “For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. It’s all a process, steps along a path. Becoming requires equal parts patience and rigor. Becoming is never giving up on the idea that there’s more growing to be done.”

Full List of 2018 books:

  1. One Day All Children, Kopp
  2. Boost your Brain Power, Harmon
  3. The Rhythm of Life, Kelly
  4. Enough, Bogle
  5. The Weight of Water, Shreve
  6. In Her Own Right, Griffith
  7. Crushing it, Vaynerchuk
  8. Serious Play, Schrage
  9. LOVEMARKS, Roberts
  10. The Experience Economy, Pine II & Gilmore
  11. The Genius of Birds, Ackerman
  12. Nudge, Thaler & Sunstein
  13. Sway, Brofman& Brofman
  14. The Pixar Touch, Price
  15. Powerful, McCord
  16. When, Pink
  17. The Leadership Gap, Daskal
  18. Prescription for the Future, Emanuel
  19. Strength in Stillness, Roth
  20. Power of Moments, Heath & Heath
  21. RePresent Jesus, Daniels
  22. The Excellence Dividend, Peters
  23. A Short Guide to a Happy Life, Quindsten
  24. Ayurveda- Beginner’s Guide, Weis-Bohlen
  25. The Soft Edge, Karlgaard
  26. I’m Still Here, Channing Brown
  27. The Business Romantic, Leberecht
  28. White Houses, Bloom
  29. The Blue Zones, Buettner
  30. The Motivation Manifesto, Burchard
  31. Life’s Golden Ticket, Burchard
  32. Tailor Made, Seeley
  33. Rebel Talent, Gino
  34. Hope in the Dark, Groeshel
  35. Do Something Beautiful, Moore
  36. Wisdom at Work, Conley
  37. Imagine it Forward, Comstock
  38. The Person you Mean to Be, Chugh
  39. Healing the Soul of a Woman, Meyer
  40. Whiskey in a Teacup, Witherspoon
  41. 5 Second Rule, Robbins
  42. It’s not Supposed to be this way, Terkeurst
  43. Dare to Lead, Brown
  44. Becoming, Obama
  45. Principles, Dalio
  46. Awaken devotional, Shirer
  47. Little Big Things, Peters
  48. Daniel Dilemma, Hodges
  49. Back to Balance, Fisher
  50. Mandela’s Way, Stengel-Richard
  51. Giving it All Away, Green & High
  52. Discerning the Voice of God, Shirer
  53. Building an A Team, Johnson
  54. The New Jim Crow, Alexander

Let’s dive right in (to the new year!)

(Rewind! This post is adapted from January 2018.)

I couldn’t resist the picture! I believe we need sunshine and as for winter… I’m praying it’s beauty is deep and it is only here for a bit longer!

Most of you have likely spent time reflecting on 2018,  putting thought into what you’d like to accomplish in 2019.  I have spent some time already, but intend to spend today taking a deep dive into this myself.  This effort always makes me feel like I have a working plan to put in motion.  I have found that it is completely true that writing down your thoughts and goals is a key part of achieving them.  To me, diving in is the only option. Taking action not only feels good, but it drives us forward.

What areas do you need to take action on? So many of your ‘one words‘ were so good and inspiring. How do you plan to make that happen? What does peace look like when it’s played out?  More time alone to reflect? … A deeper prayer life?  Time set aside time each morning?… What does joy look like? More time with friends? Family? Pets… or doing what fills your soul? …  What does release look like? How do I even do that? What do I need to let go of to optimize my life? How much of an impact can I make?….

My 2019 word, WISDOM, brings me to ask myself what areas I need wisdom in? (All is what came to mind.) Who do I need to have in my circle to optimize my life? And on…  (Oh and by the way, I started the Daniel Fast, so no social media for me over the next 21 days! I’ll still share my blog posts, but I won’t be mindlessly scrolling.What a great place for me to start!)

As you dive in, please know that you have a tribe of people supporting, encouraging and praying for you! I truly believe we can all accomplish whatever it is that helps us be our best. Of course that means, serving well – as in, really well!