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Simple Thoughts Sunday: Sounds like such an easy question

I love long walks with my sons. I love to hear them share their life views and especially when they unknowingly reverse roles, and end up mentoring me. The above reference is from the popular tv series, “The Office,” which is old school now, but a favorite for many of all ages.

Today’s world allows us to stream pretty much anything and this show was an instant classic! Michael Scott, the infamous and inappropriate boss on the show is mentoring one of his team members with what seems to be a “sophomoric” question about where they want their life to go (Season 7, episode 5). My son then shared how he has used this with friends and teammates at work, when they are trying to make a decision. Should I take that job? Should I sign up for another degree? Should I move? Should I buy that newer car? Should I stop drinking? Should I stay in this relationship? Should I….? Life is faced with some pretty big questions almost every year, and sometimes many in one year.

What a great question to process through: Do you want your life to get better, worse or the same? For example: If I take this job, will I be better for it? What’s important to me? How about my family and loved ones? Will the decision be better for all impacted? If I don’t take it, will I be stagnant and in a non-growth mode and stay the same? Will I not be the best I can be for my family and loved ones? Am I limiting my potential with either choice?

Goodness, I love how he shared example after example of this simple exercise helping his friends by walking through this. I also think it is amazing that it came from what seemed like a simple episode of his favorite show. The simplicity in it is what is the most useful. The answers sometimes seem to be hiding and we wish for billboards and other “universal” messages that will help guide us in our lives, but often the answer is right in front of us.

I am going to put this in my phone and when I need to make my next decision, or am in a conversation with someone who is at a fork in the road, I’m going to suggest this as a life hack. We tend to complicate life naturally with our overactive minds, and any tip that helps us to remove the noise, I’m all in for! How about you? What decision do you have in front of you that might become more clear if you ask yourself this question honestly?

I hope your week is absolutely what you want it to be and that the sun is shining on your life right now. If it’s not, I’m praying with you for magical moments that move you back to your center!

‘Tis the Season… Energy rising, building momentum and a “should” detox.

Who is so thankful for Spring? It somehow seems magical when the weather is “just perfect” or at least “near perfect” and you can put on your tennis shoes and get a walk in… You can almost feel the momentum of your energy building. The impact of getting outside and taking in nature is so important to our overall health and wellness that when the conditions make that possible, we should take the hint and get moving.

As many of you know, I am a Peloton fan, and specifically that of Robin Arzon. I find her to be just what I need with a balance of motivation, real talk and a bit more than a gentle push… all in the spirit of helping us achieve whatever is best for us. That’s important because she readily acknowledges that all levels and all seasons of life are represented in her virtual classes, and often encourages modification. Somehow I think it is really important that all of us know that in life – whether it’s in fitness, food, mental wellness, spiritual, financial…or “name a segment of life” – modification is important. Sure, I know personally that I need pushed out of my comfort zone, but overall, if I am going to sustain pretty much anything, I need to fully be able to “modify” without feeling bad, weak, or anything that’s not supportive (or else… I’ll just stop… anyone else?).

In a class I took last week, Robin shared that she was going on a “should detox.” How awesome is that? Simply, replace “should” with “can!” As in, replace “I should have had a salad, but the pasta on the menu is what they are known for, so I really just had to…” with “I can have the pasta, but it’s not in alignment with where I want to be right now in my physical health, so I am going to choose the salad.” Okay, so that was too easy, but you get the point.

Who wants to see their ENERGY RISE even higher this Spring? I am at the front of the line. Along with the beautiful Spring days and the endless opportunities we have to step into our power through healthy decisions… for example, the “should detox,”… we have all we need to get moving and inspire ourselves and each other to action. I’d love to hear your tips… I know my friend Michelle would say “play Pickle Ball as much as possible,” and Anaxis would say, “increase your water.” I could go on! It’s energizing to share ideas on a topic that brings us so much good. Perhaps this week, our goal could be to start our conversations by asking for others to share their tips. In doing so, we can literally raise the ENERGY and VIBRATION of the environment around us!

Have an incredible week my friends!

The assignment: What do you want to leave and what do you want to take with you in the next season?

The power in nature is incredible. I was given an assignment recently that I thought was awesome. It was also a bit harder than I expected it to be. In short: “Go out in nature – anywhere really – and find a rock. Hold onto it while you are walking and think through all that you are currently holding that isn’t helpful to you on your journey. After you have processed that, toss the rock aside and find something living – or that has recently lived – like a leaf for example and think through what you want to bring with you into the next season.” It was very therapeutic and unexpected.

The hard part was just that my mind didn’t want to go into that stream of thought. Getting out of our head and allowing nature to settle in and open our creative minds doesn’t just happen the moment you hit the trail. However, over the course of an hour or two, my mind cleared and I suspect yours might, too, if you give it a try. There is so much strong evidence that nature is perhaps the antidote to anything and everything that ails us. In a Psychology Today article from Nov. 4, the author shares that “Nature is the purest pathway to inner peace, and it recharges one’s energy and renovates the personality.” She goes on with three key benefits:

  • Harmony for the mind
  • Strength for the soul
  • Calmness for the body (going on to say that is it essentially has a “magical impact on our health.” – I love that)

As we head into the holiday and winter seasons, this seemed the perfect time to share this. Many have an extra day or two off this week, and taking the time to soak up some nature to connect and get grounded on what is good and useful and beautiful seems like a wonderful assignment. As we head into Thanksgiving tomorrow, I want you all to know that I count it a blessing to connect with so many of you via this brief blog and I am thanking God for the gifts you all are and praying for such a wonderful time of love and gratitude for you to experience over the holiday.

Insights on courage: Powerful learnings from Florence Nightingale

“I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took excuses.”

– Florence Nightingale

These words are timeless. Accountability is one of Nightingale’s key principles, both for herself and for those she was working alongside to solve the important problems of her time. Here are the others I felt were incredible and worth sharing today:

According to Florence Nightingale, a biography from Cecil Woodham-Smith, SHE…

  • Worked shoulder to shoulder with the team, jumped right in and was eager to help in what seemed like any way, and under any conditions. Her attitude and selfless spirit made the difference!
  • Used her influence to drive critical change. She came from a wealthy family, but she overcame their resistance of her chosen career, then used her network to achieve success.
  • Used real data and questioned it… In doing so, she was able to use this to amplify her message and make decisions.

Her timely reference by Ryan Holiday (see Sunday’s blog) on the topic of courage was a stand out. As a health care leader, I was aware of Ms. Nightingale but hadn’t studied her life. I hope you might find this as helpful as I did. These are powerful reminders to all of us that serving and leaving a legacy of worth requires courage and doing things in a way that is often challenged. (Can you imagine that a woman was actually able to make such and impact at this time in history?) It sometimes doesn’t feel good and often feels like a very uncomfortable hike up a rocky mountain or hillside. I feel that the lessons above give us practical advice for building courage.

Some questions to leave you with on this insight:

  • Is there an opportunity in any part of your world to be more accountable? Are you accepting excuses from yourself or others that are relying on you to be strong and courageous?
  • Is your spirit one that is focused on the team? Are you willing to be uncomfortable to get important work done? (When was the last time you were uncomfortable WITH your team solving big problems?)
  • What is important to you? Have you used your influence, resources or gifts to the best you can to help solve the small and big challenges we face? If not, what can you do today to move in that direction?
  • Are you seeking data and quality information when you are addressing an area that is important to you? Have you asked good questions and been rigorous about ensuring that you have reviewed not just good, but trustworthy information? How can you move past headlines to the root of the issues?

I hope that you will have a WONDERFUL wrap to this week and that you will always find the courage (It’s okay to borrow it from time to time) to do whatever it is that sets your soul on fire.

#HeardOnPeloton: “I make suggestions, you make decisions.”

Many of you know I’m a huge fan of the Peloton bike. It has been the single greatest resource to get me up and moving. The coaches provide me the encouragement I need to maintain continuity and leave every ride better. Last week, this little inspirational “nugget” stopped me in my tracks, and I promptly added it to my notes on my phone. It was destined to be a blog post.

Anyone else find this statement to be profound? The Peloton instructors offer so much more than the physical challenges on the bike. They bring narratives that remind us we star in the show of our life. God knows that we have too many voices shouting (figuratively) to us at what seems like the majority of our days. We also have these quiet nudges that seem to be the most useful. I like to think of these as God prodding me in one direction or another. Others point to the psychology of human behavior; I suspect both are contributors.

Richard H Thaler’s book, “Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness,” is actually sitting in my read/re-read stack right this minute. The book has mixed reviews but offers value in pointing to the small and subtle pushes that help guide our choices.

For consideration today: How do we identify and think through these? Are they a call to something greater, or perhaps only a distraction?

Ultimately, I believe most of us, stoics and simple minded humans alike, are trying to optimize life. Who doesn’t want to take these suggestions and end up with something for ourselves and our family? The remarkable nature of the human mind and spirit gives us more latitude here than we likely need. It would be easy to have one or two choices, but freedom is a gift that is also a challenge. In my assessment, we simply have to realize the power of the choices we make. We have to go into each day, each meeting, each activity we start or stop… all of it, with a pre-decision. I’ve written about the concept before, but ultimately the thought, which was coined by Mark Batterson (@markbatterson), revolves around what we decide a head of time. “I am going to push myself today. I am going to have an easy ride. I am going to enter this conversation with a heart full of love. I am going to make a healthy choice for my food intake today.” You get the point. We have a world of options that we take in… we listen for the nudges, and then we decide.

Today, I am making a decision to live out my best life. To go forth slowly while praying earnestly for discernment and wisdom. To consider the nudges, but to be aware that not everything or everyone is in my best interest. I am going to surround myself with wise counsel and people who bring out the best in me. How about you?

Cheering you all on! Have an incredible week and enjoy every hour of these beautiful fall days.

The hardest job you will ever love: Mother’s Day 2020

Sitting here preparing to write, I was a bit perplexed on where to focus – and then I fell upon Ann’s blog yesterday, which is simply magical if you ask me. I have so many authors I love, but Ann Voskamp has one of the most incredibly impactful & poetic voices of our generation. Here are some quotes on this topic of motherhood that truly are profound… good conversation starters (if you will) for today’s blog post.

“Parenting is never about how your kids turn out. It’s always and only about how you keep turning toward your kids and their Maker.”

She urges us to keep “turning toward.” I love that. My interpretation… to turn in, to lean in, to listen and take it ALL deep into our souls. (Try is really what I mean… try to listen to understand). To experience the full onset of the messy days and celebratory moments is really what motherhood is all about, isn’t it? It’s literally ALL of it: the tough conversations, the midnight hours of fever and illness, the conflict, the sitting together silently waiting for someone to speak, and sometimes shared tears (or silent tears). And of course the very best parts – the dancing in the kitchen or on wedding reception floors, traveling & experiencing our world together, the car rides to practice, the curbside coaching moments and the bedtime rituals that fill our homes with love. The most critical to me: the constant refocus of myself and the boys to their Maker. I have found that to be the single element of truth in everything good and every struggle. Re-centering…often daily on God somehow brings it all forward as growth and goodness if we allow it.

“The work of every parent is to give the best they know how now, and the work of every child is to forgive their parents the best they can now.”

Does that just resonate? We as parents do what we think is best in the moment. Sometimes we know within minutes it was not our most shining moment, and sometimes we don’t know until years later that our words or actions were an epic fail. Nevertheless, we live out the days truly trying to do the best with what we have in that moment, be it knowledge, resources or emotional capacity. Someday our kids will understand that… but not quite yet. We live in that gap generally.

And then there is this part of the child forgiving “the best they can now.” Here’s the thing I love about that statement, “The best they can now:” We all… in every time of our lives, have certain levels of capacity to forgive, to give, to love, to whatever. Our capacity ebbs and flows and is largely dependent on the strength of our spiritual life in that season of our lives. We must remember that we all do what we can for the most part. Forgiveness, therefore is essential for both the parent and child. Grace – early and often!

“Motherhood is never about training your children to be so good they won’t ever fall, it’s about letting them see you fall in love every day with a good God.”

If I don’t do anything else in my life as a mother, and hopefully some day a grandmother, I hope that they will see me fall in love every day with a good God. It’s something I am committed to and fully believe that all levels of good, stressful, scary and beautiful moments can be worked thru if we all stay focused on this truth. Being focused on God is central to Motherhood for me so far…. directing and redirecting ourselves and our children in the ways we know how.

Offering deep thanks today for my mother who in this season is the very best cheerleader and spiritual supporter. Also so much love to the many mother figures I have had in my life. God has always provided the most amazing women to step in and meet me right where I needed their love and support and I am forever grateful. If you get a moment today, reaching out to some of those would be a truly wonderful things for us all to do! Sending love to you all.

Strengthen your spirit today

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

What a lovely scene in the picture above. The sun and the strength of the thoroughbred painted across a beautifully calm pasture.

The Kentucky Derby would have been this weekend. The picture is from the Claiborne Farm Instagram account. Claiborne is a part of the “Derby” story with over a century of success in raising up the most-beautiful and incredibly-fast horses. I love their history, attributing their success to “adhering to the best principles of stewardship of the land, the horses, and the sport…” Stewardship. Today’s post is around this idea of how we “steward” our light… What we offer up to our own souls and those God has surrounded us with on our journey. So, how well are you stewarding today?

By the way, a quick Google search helps frame up this role of a “steward” as: “A person who looks after the passengers on a ship for example… A person responsible for/managing…” Essentially, a person faithfully looking after what God has given him or her to protect and even grow.

Shaping the path of any given day requires a commitment that we make to ourselves. We make this silently, in the quiet of our meditations or prayers as we go to bed and rise each day. The thoughts that we allow to run wild as we drive, or walk or otherwise navigate our cities and communities. Pastor Adam Hamilton shares that he asks each morning that God would be with him on his mission for the day. I find that to be profound. I find that any power to steward well comes from God speaking through me, whether by word or action.

We have this enormous opportunity to “be the light.” As we go into this week and this season, let us be mindful that this is a gift and that it requires a steadfast dedication as it has for centuries on end, for everything and everyone from thoroughbred horse breeding operations, to NFL football clubs, to local business owners; to teenagers, seniors and every age in between… We collectively can bring the brightest light together if we choose. I pray that our actions bring forward the most powerful joy and light to all around our community.

The power of now: What is really essential?

The power of the city. Collective unity. Buildings standing tall next to one another as if they are locked arm and arm. In many ways, they actually are. Dependent on one another for sustainability, for community building, for the generation of work for families and societies. The visual is strong and also offers inspiration if we will allow that to filter through our minds.

Our church hosted a virtual sisterhood/girls night last night. It was really, really good. My takeaway question that pastor Liz (@hillsongkc) asked us to consider: What truly is essential right now? As we rethink our lives and patterns, can we stop and ask ourselves what is really essential? In other words: Have I prioritized my one life as I would if I could start over? Redesign and level set against my values and goals? Is what I’m doing right now, or what I have been doing actually bringing me closer to or farther away from what I hope for my life to stand for? What seeds have I been planting? Are they the ones that will eventually produce the harvest I desire for my life? Are they what my family needs in this season?

She shared a personal example, in that she feels God is calling her to invest more time with her middle child. I love that, because I have found that when I listen to God’s promptings, I usually receive a nudge in one direction or another. Someone’s name will pop up out of nowhere it seems, or clear messages will shine right through someone sharing a personal story. Heck, even a billboard may speak to me.

So, where do you need to sow right now?

The image above, to me, was about prayer. I feel that God is saying, “prayer is power… stay with it… stay strong with a constant posture and persistence toward its strength. Stay in prayer over those I have placed in your path, especially your children and eventually their children… don’t let up….don’t get distracted…” I want to sow in prayer and with a sincere request for a listening ear and willing heart to pursue God’s direction and not my own.

What is essential? What actions – what prayers – do I need to take to allow our family to grow, flourish and serve each other and our community in the best way?

Have a powerful week my friends. We need collective unity right now.

The forecast is beautiful and I pray you feel the sunshine deeply rooted in every step you take.

The power of curiosity

I love kids. Their laughs are the best, and their questions are incredible. Some studies show that kids ask an average of 40,000 questions between ages 2 and 5. That’s 200-300 per day. (via Berger)

How many questions did you ask yesterday? The estimate for most adults is 20. (Quora) To me, curiosity is a key to great happiness and success in life. Nurturing our curiosity is a springboard for growth and knowledge, and I have always found the theory that “knowledge = power” to be more than true.

It seems like a really great time to IGNITE our curiosity. On Saturday, I had the chance to enjoy the late afternoon sunshine and explore a local park. Nature has so much to teach us and I found myself feeling a bit childlike again at the wonder of Spring… new life in bloom from the animals to the plants. What fun it is to see so many people and families connecting through nature during this time. For kids of all ages, curiosity provides the following:

  • Helps us to be better problem solvers
  • Helps us overcome our fears (“Hey, is that snake venomous? Is it safe to hold it?”)
  • Helps us develop empathy when we focus on asking and clarifying versus judging
  • Leads to humility
  • Creates a higher level of self awareness as we question our own whys, beliefs, and consider if there are other options we should consider

On the business side of things, making the case for developing a culture of curiosity is a game-changer for organizations that embrace the curiosity super power. In a stellar article, “The Business Case for Curiosity,” Fracesca Gino points out that cultivating curiosity at all levels helps leaders and their employees adapt to uncertain market conditions and external pressures. (Hello, COVID-19!) “When our curiosity is triggered, we think more deeply and rationally about decisions and come up with more creative solutions.” 

I particularly loved this quote from former Google CEO, Eric Schmidt: “We run this company on questions, not answers.” 

Above almost all actions we can take in today’s world, we need the fuel of questions to ensure we approach new challenges with rigor and fresh thinking. My thought is that we should use this time to raise the game on our own curiosity, look around and fill in the gaps, and serve one another in new ways. (And hey, I just realized its Earth Day on the day this posts…. what a wonderful way to honor this beautiful world by bringing forward a desire to learn all we can about its wonders!)

Connectedness forges resiliency…

… and its accrued effect results in stronger, healthier and braver humans. We are all going to suffer, but togetherness is more powerful than pain.”

Jen Hatmaker’s new book, “Fierce, Free and Full of Fire” releases this week officially and it’s pure gold. The excerpt that I put in the graphic is case in point. She covers everything from the need for us to be in community to spiritual curiosity, and all with such thoughtfulness. She easily – and with humor even, takes the reader back in history and brings in science to showcase the truth of human behavior and need. It is one of those books that you just know the world conspired for you to read at just this very time.

I wanted to add why I honed in on the above quote for today’s insight. Quite simply it is crucial. It’s a game changer. We instinctively know this, thus the immediate reaction for many to figure out how to use Zoom, Google Hangouts and other technology to bring us together with our tribes right now.  It’s been such fun to see the posts of family and friends enjoying each other’s company in this new world.

Here’s what I noticed: The first few weeks we did this well. We scrambled, pivoted and found a way forward. We are now in what I think of as the next phase: We have to stay resilient and diligent toward connecting.

Perhaps, even for some, the first few weeks were a welcome change from the grind. Extroverts and introverts alike rejoiced at the time to reboot and find stillness. As we move into yet another week, we must reach out early and often and, if needed, force ourselves to find points of connection. I have a couple of friends and family members that we text often, but I know in my heart that the voice is needed right now. As much as I’m not a “phone” person I need to change that this week, now more than ever.

Let’s be the people that lift up, bring energy and humor and love to our tribes… Text and email are great, but this week, let’s pay attention to actually embracing our loved ones with voice inflection and, if possible, a virtual face-to-face! I truly believe that her thought above is so true: this will bring us collectively greater…

Resiliency
Bravery
Strength &
Health

Cheering everyone on and sending love and prayers –