To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Self care

Meet Myra – When opportunity is really a gift

Chance. Happenstance. Serendipity. Call it what you want, but sometimes you meet someone and truly feel like you may have encountered an angel, or perhaps you think of them as an unexpected gift. I had the opportunity just two weeks ago while traveling and I have to say, I still am feeling the energy from that introduction.

Here’s the thing: I probably only talked to Myra for 30 minutes, if that. (I share that because many times, I feel the best gifts come in the what seems small or seemingly-meaningless moments, and yet if we really allow ourselves to feel, we realize it was a great gift.) She greeted me in the corridors and we shared a walk to our next session. I then seemed to run into her several more times… Her smile, passion for life itself and her commitment to her health and wellbeing literally radiated around her.

Myra is 78 and from New York City where she’s led a full but hectic life. By my recollection of her story, she had been traveling to Canyon Ranch (where our program was) in Arizona for over 20 years. Somewhere early on in those years she decided her health and wellbeing (emotional, spiritual etc) were connected and that she would resolve to live her days out fully committed to being her best self in those areas of her life. Perhaps I saw myself in her story… realizing that her wisdom was something I needed to tune into?

I’m not sure yet what the purpose was for our introduction. Maybe when I go back next year I will meet Myra again and the story will unfold. Regardless, it occurred to me that there is opportunity around us each day if we open our eyes, minds and hearts to the many blessings and gifts that we are given. That simple handshake introduction today to a new colleague, that new staff member at your local restaurant or gas station, the person sitting next to you at your next event… They may be just the gift you need to inspire you to move your life to the next level. We never really know, but to me, it’s worth it every single time to greet someone with care, a spirit of love and a listening ear.

Have an amazing wrap to your week! GO CHIEFS!

Energy is not unlimited. You have to decide where to invest it.

One of my great friends shared this with me last week. Such a powerful thought that I immediately put it in my phone to blog about.

So, how are you investing your energy? Are you feeling refreshed and energized still at the end of the week? I always start with the “people factor,” meaning, do you feel like your relationships are flourishing (at least those that you would like to nurture right now)?

How is your health? Are you proud of your recent exercise level? How about your food choices? Do they align with what makes you feel the best? Have you been able to enjoy summer (long walks at night, getting on the water, etc.)?

How about your spiritual health? Are you spending enough time diving into what your soul needs – where you thrive?

This could go on. Your career, for example. But it’s a start when it comes to asking yourself, “Am I spending my energy in the right places?” Truly investing, so I get the most out of it? Hmm… Food for thought as we go into the weekend.

Have a strong wrap to your week my friends! Invest wisely!

Moving past fear & toward our true SHINE

What in the world is going on when we allow fear to creep in and grab our thoughts? Catch this excerpt from an article on Quora: “Did you know that in the Bible ‘do not be afraid, fear not,’ or something in that framework, is listed arguably 365 times… one for each day of the year.” (Since it’s on the internet, it must be true. Haha-)

Seriously though, us simple humans do (and think) a lot of things based on some level of fear. I didn’t understand or believe that fully until the past few years… thanks to some good friends – and maybe an insightful therapist…I’m not sure if it’s the “Darwinian” factor (survival of the fittest) or what, but it all comes down to this innate need to protect ourselves from whatever it is that we think may not serve us well.

So, here’s the thing. I heard this message above not long ago. “Fear is not sustainable.” Sustainable as in “able to be maintained, upheld, defended.” I don’t know about you, but my fear of whatever – nailing the interview, playing a strong golf game, acing the test, clutching the public speaking assignment, being the perfect mom – absolutely none of it is sustainable!

We can’t be perfect or even have the notion of thinking we can or really should be. We can be really damn good, and yet there is always something, someone, better. You know what? It doesn’t matter! At the ripe age of 51, I can honestly say it doesn’t matter. (My apologies to those – including my younger self – who thought that a 4.0 on their resume matters years after college… it doesn’t.)

At work I interview for attitude and the capacity to understand this very concept. Public speaking? Be your authentic self and people will love it. “You” is exactly what the world needs more of. Golf? Who cares. The game doesn’t even matter if those playing aren’t bringing their positive energy to the experience. Whatever it is that you offer, the world wants and needs the true you to show up in every situation. That alone raises the bar for us all.

We don’t have to be afraid of even heavier topics… Relationships? God always delivers what it is we need to know in that season. If we listen, He helps us make the hurdle and learn (whether it’s personal or work relationships). If you don’t believe this, give me a ring and I’ll share some personal stories that may help you lean in a bit more.

Folks, what areas are you consciously or unconsciously letting fear creep in? Is it your health? The feeling that you may not be as sharp as you once were? That you can’t achieve that goal you are striving for? All of that is not true. Your mind is your most powerful asset. Get those thoughts right on out of your head!

Fear is not where we are meant to live. Let’s do what we can this summer to shift our thoughts to all things that move us in a direction of growth and eliminate fear from our daily diet! You are worth it. You are beautiful and have everything you need to live out the most amazing life.

Cheering you all on!

Leveling up: Time to take the difficult path

13.1 miles of me v. me a few weeks ago. Good news: I won.

Hey there, friends! Ashley here. I am the lucky one who gets to help Lori with To Serve Well. You heard from me once, back in 2017. It’s funny, because I only vaguely remember the woman who guest blogged that post about self care. In fact, for a while, I lost her.

I’ve been on a journey for years now – mostly physical health. You know that vicious cycle where you lose the weight and gain it back (lather, rinse, repeat).

But right now, I’m on a different journey – a journey to grow. A journey to level up. I’m on a journey to discover more about my own capacity to learn, to become more patient, kind, innovative and effective. I’m on a journey of evolution, watching the rewards trickle out into every part of my life, from the office to my dating life (a generous term, but we are rolling with it).

There’s absolutely nothing special about my ability to accomplish this over anyone else. It is sometimes messy and always hard, but it’s worth it.

Critical to my success these past three months is my willingness to have an open mind and heart to the messages of other people. Which brings us to a quote that I picked up recently that resonated:

I say no to a lot of stuff so I can have bandwidth and energy and dedication to the difficult path.

Robin Arzón

Please tell me that touched your soul the way it did mine. I mean, wow. It came from Peloton VP and instructor Robin Arzón, who Lori mentioned in a blog last week. I’ll include the podcast below if you’d like to take a listen. Her mindset about growth and persistence is really amplifying what I feel in my bones right now.

How often do you watch people around you take the easy route? They wander back into a relationship because it’s comfortable, or stay at the job they see no long-term opportunity in despite having a grand vision of starting a business. I hate to suggest it, but maybe that’s not just someone around you – maybe it’s you?

Let me bring it home for you. I devoted an alarming amount of bandwidth for months about whether I was in the right job and whether those around me thought I was capable in my role. Instead of letting that be a fleeting thought, it consumed me, and everything that was happening around me was, in turn, validating that negative mindset. But my gosh, friends, do you know what happened when I finally decided to take my version of the difficult path that Robin’s talking about? My life changed in a matter of months.

Between a mentor, a therapist, a financial planner, daily journaling, personal development books and podcasts galore, I feel armed and dangerous with a better understanding of what it means to be a strong woman here to serve myself well so I can be a better servant to those around me. And I was previously shut off to all of those resources and people, though I still don’t understand why.

I share a piece of my heart with you today, in the context of my girl Robin’s quote, in hopes you give the bandwidth, energy and dedication to whatever difficult path awaits your attention. Trust me. Come on in. The water’s fine.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: God’s timing – it’s perfect & it may be here now

(Photo credit to @ig_minimalshots)

God’s timing on [fill in the blank] is perfect. Does it sometimes seem unattainable? I mean… what does “perfect” really mean? And …could it actually arrive sooner than I think? I think the whole idea is actually a bit of a challenge to comprehend, or at least that has been my experience. I believe that “perfect” is really what is “perfect” for you… at a specific time and a specific season in your life. The notion is such a wonderful thought.

To me, God’s timing is the only avenue to what is perfect for my life. Looking back, when God was involved it ended up being the right time and the right place – even if the reason was for a big ole’ lesson to be learned by yours truly! Be it a career choice, a relationship, or even the decision to make a major purchase, if I actually listened and was obedient to what He was trying to get through my sometimes-thick skull, then I have found myself fully in His timing… which is right where I’m supposed to be! How do I know? Because quite simply I am at peace about it!

I don’t know about you, but I want that… FULL ON PEACE and a KNOWING! Unfortunately I, like you, am human, which means I often don’t listen fully and certainly am not as obedient as I really would love to be. It is an aspirational goal I constantly work toward. I want to be the best listener, and to have God’s direction guiding my life. How about you?

My insight for today is that sometimes God’s timing may seem really far away, but quite possibly, it just may be closer than you think. I know personally that it is quite likely right in front of you. Do what you can (surround yourself with encouragers, read the scriptures, listen to messages that inspire, etc.) to submit yourself to what you know God is calling you to do and muster up some deep courage to go in that direction. Make that call, send that message, stop that bad habit, move forward on that idea you have…

If you are able to take action and be obedient, you may just fast forward ahead, and your dreams just may be here now.

Have the best week ever! It is a beautiful time to create the world you desire.

Why you need a security detail

I hope this hits some of you like it did me. I have a security detail, and I hope you do as well! It may be that you need to rethink who is in yours, and perhaps even add one or more key folks to the team.

You may be thinking, “What is a security detail?” My son even asked about it when he saw me working on this post. According to Wikipedia, a security detail is a “Personal Protection Detail (PPD); a protective team assigned to protect the personal security of someone.” So, who is protecting you? People who “have our back,” and push us and make us better. People who we primarily choose, though often God blesses us with family members who are incredible at ensuring we are covered, protected, confronted, redirected, and gently pushed toward a positive direction. My sister has always had my back full on and what a gift that has been.

So, what are some of the critical areas where this is essential to a successful life? Here are some thoughts…

Your personal physical and mental health… Everything from exercise and fitness to those girl’s nights out that fill your spirit.

Your financial wellness and ability to find freedom in that area… A trusted advisor who comes alongside you and offers clarity around some often complex and private decisions.

Your career and in the workplace… This one is huge. I’ve blogged before about the need to have a champion – a few, if possible – that you know without a doubt will lift you toward great success.

Your spiritual life and your ability to navigate the complexities of life in general… Who do you know that is locked in to their faith and can help you build yours?

If I think through “who has my back,” I can come up with a short list that I know without a doubt want to see me succeed in many areas. I have, however, gone seasons without that “someone” in some of these areas. This is a call to action if you find yourself in that same boat, so to speak.

It takes intention to seek out this type of help. I personally like to have people that are ahead of me in life, or who have experience in an area at a much higher level than I have. These people offer me the opportunity to level up, and they can hold me accountable because of their experience having already walked this path.

Have a crazy-good week. Make it that way.

Add to your tribe if needed, and know that no matter what, most people are good, and the universe wants you to succeed in all that you dream and desire to accomplish!

Go deep: We need to build our root system

Throwback from 2017- some thoughts as you wrap up your week strong!

If you’ve ever stood under a redwood tree, you know that their height is something magnificent. And yet, the extent of their root system is shockingly not deep at 6-12 feet. So, how do we account for the crazy growth, with many reaching 300 feet tall? (The tallest pine measures in at 268 by comparison.)

“Redwoods create the strength to withstand powerful winds and floods by extending their roots more than 50 feet from the trunk and living in groves where their roots can intertwine.”

Perfect! Another cool illustration for how important going deep in your relationships is to your ability to grow and optimize your gifts. Of course, I love this – and so should you!

“Community” is what allows us to live a joy-filled life. (“Community” is also defined as families, friendship groups, circles, tribes, colleagues… you get my drift.)

To serve well, it is almost required that we are encouraged, held accountable and ultimately pushed toward our best self. For most of human history, this has been a normal part of life, starting out with the earliest Native American tribes and, for my generation, playing kickball in the street until well after the sun went down. Today, many find themselves immersed in technology and other distractions. That seems almost too obvious to state but when the shoe fits… Heck, I don’t even like to get out of my car to go in the bank. God forbid I can’t take care of business on my phone or through a machine.

I like the idea of going deep. I need to work more at this. I’d love to achieve the greatness of a redwood grove… to lock arms together with some amazing people and establish root systems that allow us all to grow and flourish.

Let’s give care to our true priorities this weekend

Always such a strong topic to keep top of mind. How are you doing, now that we are closing in on the end of the first quarter for the year? From where you started the year, has your schedule aligned with your goals, dreams and desires? Have you spent enough time where you want?

I personally have been heavy with career and not enough on financial health (I’m in the group that hasn’t filed taxes yet); and moderately successful with physical health and relationships thanks to some pre-scheduled events so to speak. (If not for those, it wouldn’t look good at all.) I share that for the purpose of being vulnerable and yet exposing that no matter how much you “want” to do the right thing and be balanced, you can easily fall off of your game plan. Life tends to dictate itself if we don’t edit and actively and mindfully move it where we want.

So, you may be thinking: what’s up with the “deep priority” comment? What makes it deep versus just a priority? This, to me, is the “next” level. Saying I want to grow and nurture relationships is one thing, but what do I really want or need? For example, I haven’t spent any time this year with my dad. That’s not good, and that’s important.

Also deep: Being more specific is critical. Using the example of physical health and wellness, saying that I want to be successful in this category alone frankly won’t move the needle. What might move the needle is a deeper and specific goal, perhaps increased time doing cardio, lifting weights, etc., signing up for a “race” or some event that drives me toward success? Thinking out loud, here.

As we think through the last three months, it may be timely to take a long look at our priorities and develop an action plan that aligns.

Cheering everyone on and especially my NCAA bracket! Sun, please come out to stay!

What do you need right now?

This captures my attention for some reason. I don’t know if it is because of the weather, or because it seems like every other conversation I have been a part of lately points to one of the parties needing a deeper level of caring.

We all tend to go through our days, moving through our agendas and checking off our lists, but I’m not sure we spend enough time thinking about what our hearts and souls are telling us they “need” at the moment. It seems that we need to listen and be aware more of those signs we are surely getting that say we need more of something – healthier food, sleep, etc. I also think that we should challenge our colleagues, friends, family and loved ones to ask the question and really act on what they need. I call this “self preservation” – some call it self care.

Self care has multiple benefits, impacting your physical and emotional health. It’s an important topic and one I hope that you all take action toward. As Lady Gaga said at the Grammy’s last week, and I shared on Sunday, “We gotta take care of each other.” We do this best if we take care of ourselves first.

Let’s make this coming weekend a time for drawing closer to what this might mean and act accordingly.

Driving toward a growth mindset

Happy January 31st! The month felt like it was 1,000 days long and yet, for some reason, it’s hard to believe the first month of 2019 is over.

I feel like I’m still putting the ship in order for an amazing year. How about you? Did you hit your “must-have” list and generate some momentum heading into the rest of the quarter? How’s your health game going? Setting up plans to deepen those relationships? Strengthening your financial position? How about your career – be it managing the “castle” (aka, home), hustling in the workplace or the best career, known as “retirement? Did you make progress in leveling up in those areas? What about just surviving (which is a perfectly respectable goal!)?

When I saw this message, I knew immediately it had to reach a greater audience. For those who want to optimize their best life for this very season, it is critical to stay on task and intentionally build pathways to achieve what we hope will bring us closer to those goals.

As you close out this month and launch in to February, I hope this will inspire you to make the days and moments count. I pray your month is chock full of celebrations, intention and pure happiness, no matter what that may be for you!

Special note: February is Go Red month for the American Heart Association. Heart disease is the leading cause of death for all Americans. I hope you will join me in wearing Red tomorrow on Friday for national Go Red Day and together raise awareness! For more information, go to the AHA website. Being informed saves lives.