To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Priorities

Love, admiration and respect: All relationship “must haves”

I just had to address this topic. You see, I had dinner with a friend last week and we were talking about our young men/women and relationships.

This is not the first conversation about this same topic that I’ve had in the past few years. I guess I’m at the age where the next phase of our kids’ lives could include a trip down the aisle. If you have younger kids, pay close attention. The conversation on intentional parenting, aunt-ing, grandparent-ing, etc. is worth it right now.

(Photo creds: Canva)

As you know, I read a lot. And soon, I’ll have 5 decades under my belt. Using Oprah’s popular lead in, “one thing I know for sure” is we need to be in relationships where we are loved deeply, admired and perhaps above all respected.

Most relationship experts say respect is a core need, particularly strong for a man, but also important for a woman. My grandparents backed this up. I once asked them their secret to marriage and they both said respect: “We may have disagreements, but we always keep them for after the event, and sit at the kitchen table until we resolve them — never taking our disagreements public.”

While men may have a top need for respect, women need to be admired and that means acknowledging often so there is no question she is adored.

I think we are in a little bit of a crisis. Sure, I think most get the whole love thing. What seems to be missing is the time and attention necessary to build and show admiration, adoration and respect. We need to up the game early so that our young children understand just how important this is. Being in a relationship with someone that leaves you at a party to hang with their friends, doesn’t invest time in tender conversations, doesn’t want to spend time with your friends/family… I could go on, if you can’t tell. All are things I’ve heard and have seen lately.

Folks, please don’t blow this off. We have an entire generation that perhaps hasn’t seen this modeled well. TV and movies probably make it worse. If we want them to have successful relationships it is going to be because we invested our energy into making sure they both know they need it, what it looks like and how to give it in the best possible ways.

Bridges and friendships

(Photo Creds: Canva)

I sure do like the idea of this. I heard it on a podcast and it got me thinking that some of my most long lasting friendships have come from doing something like this.

When my good friends Susie and Sid Womack relocated to Kansas City from Texas, I hosted a Super Bowl party so they would feel welcome. That small effort changed my world and the world of my boys. Susie introduced us to Pine Cove which has been a life-changing factor in all of our lives and likely will for generations. Sid spoke into the lives of my boys, and I will forever be grateful. It was pretty much all thanks to a pot of chili, and a few friends that showed up.

I haven’t done this in awhile with anyone new. Most days I feel like I’m doing good to see my closest friends and family a few times a year. This idea has me thinking where a bridge is needed. I hope this sparks your thinking…

If you read this blog a lot I’d love to start here: I’d love to invite you to our new home and put on a pot of chili and talk life. Let me know if you are in and I’ll make it happen. A little groupthink may make us all better!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: A final thought on mindfulness

(Photo Creds: Canva)

I couldn’t think of a better way to wrap up the idea of mindfulness than this message.

This scripture gets me every single time. Most likely because I’m not so good at it. I totally get it though. The ONLY time I have truly felt I have heard from God was when I quieted my soul to reflect on what was happening in my life at any given time, truly listening to what I was reading, watching, etc.

I do believe the research I’ve found and shared, and the simple message of mindfulness goes hand in hand with this scripture.

I hope that you have found something valuable over the last week and know that GOD is indeed with you and guiding every single step. Even the ones that do not make much sense to you right now. If we can still our minds to listen, we will surely see him show up… step in and help us RISE to our next level.

Have a simply wonderful week. Relish a bit in the fun of the holiday and, as always, I’m so grateful today for each of you that read this and am always cheering you on.

Coming up for air! (Launching into mindfulness)

(Photo Creds: Canva)

I’m finally coming up for AIR. (See side note below if you’re interested.)

Does anyone else ever feel that way after a period of being either gone or otherwise detained — or both — from real life?

In the business world, I worked with a colleague that often used that phrase, “Oh, he/she will come up for air once they realize (their mistake, or whatever)…” It took me a while honestly to understand what they meant, but boy do I understand it now, on soooo many levels. I find myself coming up for air in finally “getting” a new concept, in working with people and trying to understand their point of view, and of course when I’m swamped and actually am coming up for air.

When I was gone, I spent some time researching the concept of mindfulness. It seems to be a hot topic, and aside from reading various articles on the benefits of meditation and yoga, I didn’t really understand what the big deal was. Maybe it was just the world’s way to change things up a bit to get your attention again on a topic? Regardless, the end result is the same and worthy of our attention.

That would be an overall goal of improved focus and awareness.

This could be of something as simple as your breath, or as complex as seeing the intricacy in beautiful architecture. Using that last example, if you are local and haven’t really walked and admired the streets of downtown KC around the Power and Light area, please do so. I looked at this recently with new eyes, and we have some simply amazing architecture.  A dear friend was with me and she explained so much of the history that I had no idea about. Sometimes, it’s hard to believe I’m almost 50 and know so little. I think I need more than one life so I can consume all of these wonderful details life has to offer.  One more reason for those of us at earlier ages to realize the importance of becoming “mindful” to our world. All parts of it!

I’m going to spend the rest of this week, Thursday and Sunday focused on the topic and I hope it is of great benefit to you. As you set your eyes on being the best, on serving the best, loving the best — MINDFULNESS is a terrific place to start in going deeper and achieving a higher calling. I’m in for that for sure!

Side Note:  I am not one to share the details of my life because I figure everyone has enough of their own “stuff.” If you are on my Instagram, you may have saw that we went on a life trip, and journeyed through some of the places that the Apostle Paul traveled during this mission. (Paul wrote much of the new testament, credited with 13 chapters.) I was fortunate to have two of my boys along for the trip and really missed the third. At the same time we were preparing to leave we moved into a “pod” temporarily and then day we returned, into our new home. A little chaotic to say the least, but alas, daylight is coming through. If anyone is interested, I would so love to share the story of the trip. Please let me know!

Never miss an opportunity: Tales of my Uber driver, part 2

I was reminded during this Uber drive – and by the way, thank you for sharing your stories on Part 1 – of our trip to South Africa a few years back. This photo is from a now-local gal, Renee Terrill who has committed her life to the service of the children that we visited through her role as Global Impact Coordinator at Westside Church in Lenexa.

Her story is a great example that any of us can go deep if we choose to in whatever calls to us that needs to be improved.

I don’t know Renee well, but I cherish her work. It is gritty and real.

I chose the photo because I feel it provides the best visual of what I walked away with on our trip and it stays with me today… PURE JOY. I wear a bracelet that I don’t take off from this great country, and it serves as a reminder of TRUE CONTENTMENT AND JOY.

Here’s the thing: In this particular region in South Africa, scarcity is an everyday reality.  From a lack of protein to feed the children, to consistent good water, to poor transportation. You would think there would be great sadness, but it’s really just the opposite. The people seem to EXUDE JOY. They are, quite simply, CONTENT.

I asked my driver about this, and he said it was because they didn’t know any better. This “land is all they have known.” That made me realize once again that here in the United States, assuming you are reading this from there, that the many choices and opportunities we have may be doing us a disservice.

I could get in a philosophical conversation right now, but I should probably just stick with the point: True contentment and joy is a CHOICE. No matter our situation, or where the world places us in any given season, or moment, we can find JOY if we look. My prayer is that you will indeed find JOY and CONTENTMENT today!

Don’t forget to say THANK YOU… I SEE YOU… I APPRECIATE YOU…

(Photo Creds: Canva)

I had a recent LIGHT BULB moment that really should not have been one, but it was. Honestly, I thought I had been pretty good at this, but not sure I’ve done it enough since college started, maybe even a bit before. As our children age, I think we need to get out the “basics” playbook. This is especially true I think with teenagers and young adults.

The insight is simple…

Don’t forget to CALL OUT the GOOD… Say THANK YOU… I SEE YOU AND RECOGNIZE YOUR EXTRA EFFORT.

My example is simple. One of my boys is really helpful with our dogs. With my crazy schedule, his help is incredible. Here’s the thing: I kind of take it for granted. Not intentionally, but I do and hadn’t realized that. One evening I was telling him how much I appreciate his extra help and attention and he said “thank you for noticing,” and it hit me. (He said it in a nice way, but still… OUCH.) He is one who doesn’t require a lot and honestly I think those are the people that we should intentionally recognize more. So, I’m dusting off the playbook and going to try to incorporate those basics more often.

At all ages we need someone to say “I see you.. I recognize you… Your efforts are not going unnoticed…” If you don’t have your own kids, this of course is applicable in all settings. I hope I’m not the only one who needed this reminder, but alas, if so,  perhaps it’s something you can pass on.

Have a wonderful weekend.

Emotionally EXHALE

(Photo Creds: Canva)

What does it look like for you to make this Labor Day weekend count? After all, Labor Day is all about TAKING A BREAK. EMOTIONALLY EXHALING.

It used to be that school started after this weekend, which was a great decision, if you ask me. Alas, for most that isn’t the case anymore, and we are hit in August with what I think of as a total onslaught of obligations, activities, etc. This comes at a time we were just beginning to maybe “exhale.” Summer just started, didn’t it?

For me, “emotionally exhaling” involves very little. Reading, life planning, maybe a meal or two with some dear friends/family, a visit to the farmer’s market, and a a chance to take in the last days of warm sunshine. For others, it’s rock climbing, marathons and shopping extravaganzas… My hope is that you will truly reflect on what this weekend SHOULD look like for you right now. There is a great book that came out last year called “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst. That book calls out to us to truly make the best decision for ourselves at that given moment and season. Not every LABOR DAY weekend requires the same… some call for all out parties, gatherings, traveling, etc.

So, what does your soul need this weekend? The great news is that it is Thursday and most of us can still can DECIDE what we need and then CHOOSE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Whatever you do, I hope that you will EMOTIONALLY EXHALE.

We all need a spotter (or a few)

(Photo Creds: We Heart it)

On Sunday, I kicked off the week by reminding you that you are indeed a “bad ass.” That’s according to the Bible by the way, which is a great go-to source for understanding how we are designed. Apologies for any that are offended by that word choice, but I feel it’s the most appropriate way to call out the truth.

That said, I felt this was an appropriate topic for a Tuesday, which by the way is the “most productive” of work days. It’s when the coffee hits the system and we are ready to ROLL.

To me, there is not much better than getting that “flow” going and really feeling like you are conquering your day. That could be any day, but especially when that to-do list starts to get crossed off, line by line. LOVE IT! Anyone else?

Along the way, my hope for you today is that you will make sure to USE A SPOTTER. We all need them. I need several… managing your health, finances, family, relationships – the list goes on – requires a TON OF HELP. Who are your spotters? They can help LIFT THE HEAVY LOAD and give you much needed relief.

Have a STRONG WEEK and know that others are cheering you on and want to help!

What do you need to prioritize over your phone?

We all know that social media has taken over the “world” so to speak. The stats say 7 of 10 people are daily users. I thought that was low.

Nearly 22% of the world population has access to social media. No matter your age, Facebook and other platforms have found a way to come in and consume our days. I heard this week that the average employee is on their phone for personal reasons 500 minutes a week. I certainly hope that was incorrect. Some other insights according to social media today:

  • Teens spend up to 9 hours a day on social platforms.
  • The average person will spend approx. 2 hours (116 minutes, to be exact) on social media everyday, which translates to 5 years and 4 months over a lifetime.
  • Current time on social media beats out time spent on eating, socializing and grooming.

That gets me to the point of this blog post:

I know there are a lot of stories out today pointing to all of the social/cultural challenges resulting from social media. The desire to have a life that is “Instagram-worthy,” and to have a “highlight reel” life like others… These are important issues and something we should all be aware of. My focus today is on how we forfeit our power when we get soaked in and spend our time in social media when we know that our life would be richer if we spent as much time in prayer.

Most people I know, of all religions/beliefs, find that prayer is useful and a “go to” when they need to better understand life, or seek heeling, etc. PRAYER (some call it meditation) clearly brings us to a higher level of awareness that we need so we can find peace and direction. We just need to put our energy into this important practice.

I got to thinking: “What if we all spent 30 minutes more this week praying for the guidance we need, those in our circle that could use a hand up? And at the same time, 30 minutes less focused on thumbing through Facebook, Insta, Snapchat, etc.?”

My hypotheses is that we would find 30 minutes isn’t enough to conquer all that we need and that we would begin to take notice of the value of our minutes and the power we each truly have if only we will take our time back.

Be sure to make your friends a priority!

(Photo Creds: My own)

I love the people that God has put in my life. Friends that showed up on the scene at just the right time. Friends that you had no idea at first encounter would be lifesavers. Friends that are there for a season – an important season – who have a life-long impact.

So, here’s the thing I have found: Time is fleeting.

The days go by, our priorities ebb and flow with the demands of the moment and we can end up moving through the year without truly investing in the friends God gave us. It’s “halftime” in 2017 and therefore it’s time to ensure we invest our remaining days just how we want!

In June I had the opportunity to celebrate two very dear friends on a destination trip to the Dominican for what I’ll call a “Marquee birthday celebration.” As you can see, they are twins. These two ladies have been a constant bright light in my life for 15 years now. It is nothing short of amazing to have them around for nearly 1/3 of my life at this point! That’s cool — no, it’s more than cool. (BTW: If you ever get the chance to have some friends from Birmingham, Alabama, RUN TO THEM AND FAST. They are the real deal.)

As you  size up your 2017 so far, I hope you’ll spend some time intentionally planning spending time with those friends that truly make your life what it is today. I believe that we are given just exactly who we need, when we need it and our role is to do our best to nurture and grow those gifts. Your life will be so much richer!