To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Inspiration

“I didn’t know I was hungry”

Have you ever found out something profound about your life after that season was over? Rachel Held Evans started chapter 19 of her fantastic book, ‘Searching for Sunday,’ with this profound concept that stuck with me instantly: “I didn’t know I was hungry.”

Let’s unpack this concept a bit more…

  • Have you ever been in a relationship but didn’t feel loved? Recognized? Seen? Heard?
  • Have you ever been in a room, office, church or otherwise full of people, and felt alone?
  • Have you ever had such an uneasiness that you couldn’t “find the feeling” that was keeping you unsettled and stealing your peace?

That feeling is hunger. In some cases we are starved.  Starved for the basic needs that sustain us as humans: love, community, peace. The sentence blew my mind. Have you ever been hungry and didn’t even know it or have the capacity or knowledge to “name it?”

I have had a season like that. In fact, if I allow myself to “go there” or dig deep enough, I’ve had a few. I have to laugh a bit because a few years back, my son said, offhand, “Mom, I could have told you that.” I had to seek outside counseling to hear this truth and right under my own roof my son recognized certain patterns. He recognized I was “hungry,” but I sure didn’t know it.

In fact, that counselor pointed out that we are either pursuing, running from or staying within the moment. I am either a pursuer or a runner. Perhaps most of us are? (Oh, how I’d love to have the knowledge of a good therapist! Thank God for those people!) Until the last few years, I did not even know that the staying or lingering with the discomfort – or perhaps even the comfort – of a relationship or situation was a “thing” and really essential to understanding and growth. When she pointed it out, it was a light bulb moment. It was in this understanding that I could begin to recognize moments of hunger.

One of the things I like to do in these short little insights, is to spur us to think deeper in a wild attempt to better understand ourselves. I feel like perhaps we can serve others better if we do so.

Have the best week! I hope this post helps move us toward joy and toward a life full of everything God has in store for us. I love that notion of moving toward all that is good and hopeful.

Step aside, fears: 5 ideas to pursue the good right now

I don’t normally write about faith, and specifically my belief in God, during the weekday posts, but given our current environment it feels important. Someone shared with me that in the Bible there are 366 references to “Do not Fear,” which for 2020, a leap year, is exactly 1 time for each day of the year. Isn’t that interesting?

I have to tell you, fear is real… At first I didn’t really like using that word, but I decided to look it up for the blog and I have to say this sort of resonates: an “unpleasant feeling, triggered by the perception of danger, real or imagined.” Triggered. That is exactly what is happening. And if you are like me, and have a hard time looking away from your phone when you are otherwise not detained by work, a conversation or head down in a project or good book…then you are constantly being triggered from all matter of sources. Sometimes it’s funny images that add levity to the situation, and other times it’s the gripping news coming from hot spots around the world. All said, we have to be careful with what we are feeding ourselves in order to maintain as much peace as is possible.

What approach or idea may be better? My pastor shared the message in the image above on Sunday (online), and it’s written in BOLD in my journal now. The note I wrote to myself is what’s most important to me… Just how do I best pursue that right now?

Pursue defined: To follow… to capture… to chase…  

I can visualize chasing JOY right now! In fact, CAPTURING it and holding it close at every turn. (Side note: To me, God is love and love is joy and pursuing God is in fact chasing after what He desires for us.)

How about some practical ideas on how we can do this? Here are 5, but it’s so much more fun for you all to share your ideas, so please do that below!

  • Make a commitment to sharing what is good and fun! Some of my team members made a game of sending selfies with our “masks” and that was great for bringing joy into the day. One of my college friends sent over pics of her car decorated for a parade her and the other teachers created to drive through their district neighborhoods. That is chasing joy! My son sent me our favorite Twitter feed today:
  • Set a firm limit on how much screen time you will allow yourself… Seriously.
  • Take advantage of this unexpected time. It is a gift. Extra time for your kids, for special projects, for dreaming up ways to serve others.
  • Pump up the music? What’s your all-time favorite band? Music genre (hello ’80s!)? Make a playlist, have a dance party, sing-along or whatever to get your mind moving in a positive direction…Allow yourself to feel the shift in energy.
  • Surround yourself with positive! Positive messages, positive people (you may need to call or reach out to your most positive friend, or the one who always makes you laugh). Be so intentional about this that every day you wake up, commit to pursuing the positive! 

Your turn!

I am praying for our world, our city and for each of you and for your families. You are all a blessing! Let’s pursue service, love and joy – and find our fears step aside.

Train your attention on what is beautiful

So… what is beautiful to you?

  • Mountaintops
  • A child’s belly laugh
  • Flowing streams
  • A trail bike ride, meandering amongst nature with your best friends
  • A fireside chat (along with s’mores, of course)
  • The morning sun rolling in
  • The aroma of a fresh cup of coffee
  • A blue bird meditating on your deck
  • The arts – music, an amazing painting, a well-written movie…

So many options.

Today more than ever, it seems like an ideal time to focus our energies on training our minds to hone in on the beauty we are surrounded with. The noise seems to be ever increasing, trying desperately to take us off course.

Mindfulness, meditation… both have been culturally relevant words that have been making their ways into our communication streams in the last few years. I personally think it’s time to take notice if you haven’t already on this push for us to literally train our minds. It requires intentional effort and fortunately for us there are so many great resources. The best for me is silence and a good book and in a perfect world sitting on a lakeside dock. I’m also a fan of the Calm app and Peloton’s meditation options. Others do puzzles, crosswords, etc. 

It would be great to hear some of your ideas! Chime in below if you have time.

Take every thought captive

Think back to the last few days. What has consumed your thinking? I just finished the best book of the year for me so far: “Get Out of your Head,” by Jennie Allen. She shared that nearly 70 percent of our thoughts are negative (Psychology Today, October 10, 2013). Yikes.

In a short experiment, she gathered a group of women around a white board that simply said, “What are you thinking about?” With a variety of Post-It notes with different options (like the picture above shows), the women were asked to pull a note that showed what they were thinking about. True to the reference above, over 70 percent were in the not-so-positive space. I would have guessed this to be a lot lower. (Personally, when I saw the list, my mind definitely drifts to the “what ifs” more than I’d like to admit.)

Why is that? I don’t often blog about scripture during the middle of a work week, but the one in this title has always been one of my favorites. If you have ever been around anyone citing New Testament Bible references, you may recognize this advice: “We must take every thought captive.” (2 Corinthians 10:5) The scripture pointing to the fact that our minds are truly wild things that need to be reminded early and often to center our thinking on what is good, useful and true. Our minds tend to run down the rabbit holes of “what ifs” and “whys,” and can quite easily get lost and off onto a path that doesn’t serve us well.

So, how do we in fact get a control on these tendencies? Other than the basic core rule – first, decide that you want to – there are some other ideas to consider. I think identifying where your mind tends to go is really important. Taking a proper inventory, if you will. I love the idea someone shared with me: They ask the “thought” questions, such as, “Should I take you seriously?” Other thoughts: Is this really a big deal? What percent of my day/life/etc. is impacted by this? Does it matter against my other priorities or goals? Why the hell am I even thinking about this so much?

Once you have dealt with whether or not it’s important or not, then create a habit of talking this recurring issue over with someone (or multiple people) you trust. In other words, get wisdom from someone else and ask them to help redirect you if you continue to bring this issue into focus. There are so many other options here, like meditating, praying, journaling, etc. The bottom line is that you must figure out what you are thinking and get with a community that will help you overcome your thought patterns. The best ever is when you are able to replace the negative with the positive. That’s where we take ground and grow.

Let’s be ever mindful this week of the thoughts we have, and work together to shift out of self-focus, and use that energy to think about ways we can use this one life to serve others.

Inner game: 3 ways to power up the mental game

A strong mental game establishes order. If you are a golfer, a basketball player, or any kind of athlete at all, your coach likely talked about the importance of having a routine in order to to perform. These mental habits create a mechanism for our brains and actions to sync up and prepare us for our goal. We don’t talk about this idea as much as we should outside of the sports world.

How do we go about developing our strongest mental game? Here are a few proven ideas:

  1. Decide what you hope to achieve… Plan the perfect date, trip – or even create a kick-a** business case – to increase the energy on your team and spark an amazing conversation. 
  2. Develop a step-by-step plan of what you think it is going to take to achieve that goal. Make it in as few steps as possible. We need to think of our habits or routines like the picture above – “taking a shot.”
    • Dribble three times
    • Pick a spot on the backboard
    • Position your arms, lean and launch
  3. Practice. Practice. Practice. In other words, talk through your team plan with a trusted mentor, or whatever version applies to your situation. The act of practice takes intention and time, but it’s time well invested.

I heard a speaker once say that “if the meeting is important, go in person.” She asked us, “If you were going to propose would you do it on the phone?” Too often we have critical life challenges, both personal and business, where we don’t strengthen our mental game. Why? Great question. I can personally do a better job of upping my mental game in routine and preparation. Based on experience, I know this effort pays dividends.

Where might you find it useful to invest in a strong mental game plan set or reset this week?

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The power of visualization

WOW! I love inspirational messages like this one that so directly deliver a game changing thought.

I’d like to think I SHOW UP AS MY HIGHEST SELF every day, but I am not sure I can say I do this in every area of my life. For example, do I really walk out how I want to “show up” physically? As in, athletically speaking? Ouch… I don’t think so. Maybe a “pretty good” version, but highest? Definitely not.

Let’s pull the plane up a bit and back into the question of what exactly does your highest self look like?

If I were hitting my stride in full force, what would my highest self look like on an ideal day? My wake up time? Meals? Physical activity? Productivity? Would I design art? Write something breathtaking? Breathe deeply and eat nutritious and beautiful meals? Who would I surround myself with? How would I elevate my mind? Would I be reading classic literature or listening to stunning music? How about my relationships? Am I investing my energy well?

This is such a worthwhile question.

I hope you will not only visualize your highest self, but write out what that looks like and move ever closer to that each and every day.

So much love for you all. Let’s make it a beautiful week… honoring ourselves and those God has placed in our path by showing up fully.

Rewind! This is Partially a throwback post to one from 2019 that was just speaking to me this weekend.

Easy is an ambush (a snare, a trap)

I especially love this synonym I found for easy: idiot-proof. 

When it comes to some basic things, like fixing a running toilet or a non-threatening sound coming from my car, easy is exactly what I’m looking for. This post isn’t about that.

I have to say, it’s really hard for me not to want to go straight to game day examples since we are coming right off of the BIG WIN, but I will resist because there are plenty of wonderful writers and thinkers filling our tanks with those strategies. (And I love every minute of it!)

Bringing us into focus, getting past our human desires to find comfort (Comfort food, anyone? Too many long & lazy weekends? An extra hit on the snooze button?) and to creating our best lives, we have to quickly get to the reality that easy truly is an ambush. What is an ambush? A surprise attack … that’s the primary definition. Something that sneaks up on us, like a surprise bill we weren’t counting on. Or consequences of a project we didn’t quite get to, or a health issue brought on by too many easy choices.

Idiot-proof should be the last thing we are looking for. We should instead be building our capacity, our skill set, moving toward healthy relationships and optimizing our energy. Those things require excellence and not ease. They require discipline, seeking great coaches, doing the deep thinking, hard work and praying.

Let us not be snared by the easy, but rather commit to going all in with all we have to be prepared, strong, healthy and at our very best in whatever season we are in.

I won’t ever get over the excitement of our Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl LIV win!! I hope their effort inspires us all to keep throwing the ball downfield no matter what comes our way!

Everyone needs a champion!

This is such an important message – one that we should all feel strongly about.

It doesn’t matter if you are young like these sweet girls, in school, starting your career, mid-career or past retirement age. It doesn’t matter if you work or don’t work. It doesn’t matter what your education is or how awesome your credentials are. One hundred percent of us are happier and more fulfilled when we have a champion – preferably a few!

I didn’t realize it was such a problem until I started a new job quite a few years ago. It was difficult for me to understand that most people I worked with directly went through their days and years (in one case, over 20 years) without a champion. In fact, when asked who their champion was, there was a blank stare as if they didn’t know what a champion was. It was palpable in the culture. I have since then had this conversation with many, and found that our company was not alone. I also found that many across my social groups also didn’t feel they necessarily had a champion in life. That is just not right. (Side note: I’m not indicating that the entire company was that way, but pockets within the office.)

I wondered how they progressed… learned… advanced… I found out that most of them really didn’t – they were stagnant. Sure, business priorities and strategies changed from year to year, but the feeling of thriving, or truly moving toward purpose was non existent for far too many.

It had me thinking. Is it a choice? Do they even know what it feels like to have someone that is an advocate? Someone that is going to bat for you and helping advance your cause and work? What if you want someone to “champion” you but you don’t know how to ask or where to start? Is that your responsibility, or your employer’s?

So many questions. An issue I never realized was so complicated. I have always been part of a culture that ensured people were supporting/championed. I try to do that at home too. After all, it starts there, right? We all need someone that leads our fan club.

My hope with this post is if you aren’t being championed, you develop a plan to change that. Heck, I’d be glad to help! If you aren’t championing someone outside of your home, I think finding someone that could use your support would be a really great thing to do. Again, it doesn’t matter your age nor situation… giving someone a hand up ends up making more of a difference to you personally.

Finally, if you do happen to be in the work place, please make sure that everyone in your circle has a champion. The culture will be better for it, and that could be a game changer for 2020. I’m all about game changers. Go be a champion!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The winding roads of life

God has interesting ways in which He guides us through life, to learn and to connect with great people and of course, to challenge us to be our best selves. To fully achieve our purpose.

Today, I want to share a few insights as we look toward the busy sprint that is the end of the year. I hope this is a reminder to you – as it was to me –to take in the beauty of this busy, sometimes winding, road that we call life.

  1. Beauty can be found everywhere. There is beauty even in life’s side roads that find you wondering why in the world you may have arrived there. Literally, if you set your mind to find the beauty (the good, the positive, the inspiring…) it is indeed there, and often front and center.
  2. God is leading and I am to follow. Those ideas about where, how and what we will be doing at any given stage of our lives are open to change at anytime. If you truly follow His lead, I believe He will use the right people and places and the right time and situations to bring you right where you are meant to be to achieve your highest purpose. Again it is up to us to choose to listen to those promptings.
  3. Finally, stay expectant. Sometimes change can be scary, but I choose not to look at it in that way. Choose instead to find clarity, and know that the right people are placed on the path at just the right time. If we step forward and reach out and do our best work, there will be honor found in the process.

So whether your path today is straight or winding, I hope you will find great beauty all around. Have the best week!