To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Inspiration

Getting to your best yes

Throwing it back to a post from last year. It’s a solid rewind about a book that could serve any of us well these days.

Ryan Holiday’s new book, ‘Stillness Is the Key,’ should jet to the top of most people’s list. I couldn’t soak it up fast enough. The first several chapters captured my attention fully. A small part of the Amazon review:

“In this book, he outlines a path for achieving this ancient, but urgently necessary way of living. Drawing on a wide range of history’s greatest thinkers, he argues that stillness is not mere inactivity, but the doorway to self mastery, discipline and focus.”

Holiday covers famous baseball players, philosophers and even Mr. Rogers as he weaves in and out of proof points that we will be far better off if we can get our minds to tune out, therefore really tuning in. It’s powerful.

The message I captured in the picture above is one of those I “dog-eared” and noted to come back to. Perhaps identifying a critical framework for getting closer to what seems to be a challenge for me personally: getting to stillness. There are so many hidden costs to more of anything. We have to ask ourselves if it really does matter to us… Do our closets or homes need more items to fill it? Do our schedules need another time blocked? We have to remember that whatever we give up is in exchange for something else (more quality time with someone or something you love perhaps?). It could be time, resources or energy you won’t ever get back.

This particular chapter closed with this, “Will I look back from the distant future and be glad I did it? If I never knew about it at all – if the request was lost in the mail, if they hadn’t been able to pin me down to ask me –would I even notice I missed out? When we know what to say no to, we can say yes to the things that matter.”

So much truth to this little book. (It is a very short read… I promise!) I’m hoping we can all grab something out of this today that is both practical, and stirs us up enough to make sure our yes is really the best one.

The strength of your inner circle

For today’s blog, I felt that this re-post was exactly what needed said. I have found that no matter what season I am in, my circle is what protects, pushes me forward, strengthens, and inspires joy.

The recent loss of Mr. Boseman offers us an opportunity to learn from his life. I hope it serves as a reminder that intentionally nurturing and building our circle should be at the top of our priority list. In fact, serving well can best be done in unity with those God has placed in our path. I am very thankful for my friends and family today!

Thank you to Michelle Wimes, Chief Equity and Inclusion Officer at Children’s Mercy Kansas City and brilliant thought leader for reposting from Michelle Gines, Community Relations for Sunflower Health Plan –– also clearly a voice we need to listen to:

“How strong is your circle? How loyal are your confidants?

His wife, his family, his friends. His cast mates and the director. His Howard University Alumni family. His barber. His stylist. His agent. His manager. His doctors. His nurses. His pharmacist. His accountant. His banker. His pastor. His church. Hollywood. Marvel.

Chadwick’s entire circle respected his private battle with colon cancer and kept it from the public.

THE LAST LESSON THE KING OF WAKANDA LEFT:

Choose your associations wisely. Surround yourself with good company. Build a strong support system that is loyal and faithful and true. A circle that loves you.”

Where do you want to end up?

(Throwback! This post feels so relevant right now as many of us are going back to work or have family starting school!)

Pretty much wherever you want to end up, it will require you put your most comfortable shoes (and frame of mind) on. Comfortable and fun go a long way!

I believe it’s important to have a plan to achieve whatever it is we are hoping to go after personally, in our community, at work and at home as we try to answer these questions…

Where do you want to end up this week?
This month?
This semester?
This year?
During your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, etc.?
During your life time?

Intention and design are the two key terms for me.

First, identifying what I “intend” to do (think: get leaner, eat more greens, call my parents more often, send more handwritten notes, hit my Q4 work goals, etc.). Second, design a plan to ensure that I achieve that “end game” goal (carve out time every Sunday to make those calls, try Pilates, start my days an hour earlier, etc.). To me, the design plan is the most important and also can be the most fun. There are so many ways to get to the same place, and we have the opportunity to make it fun.

What can we do differently to add a bit of whimsy into our days? Instead of that lunch, what about a stroll through the market? Instead of a plane, how about a train for that family long weekend holiday?

Would love your ideas and inspiration!

“Use your words”

Throwing it back to a post from April that feels really relevant right now. Cheering you on, friends!

In a moment of frustration a few months back, a friend shared with me this basic truth: “use your words.”

This simple phrase stuck with me. The idea resonated and seemed to be applicable for many areas of life. Imagine if we all could use this thought with the end goal of developing healthy relationships? How might the world improve if we encouraged loving and candid conversations? Why had I not honed in on this phrase before? (It sure may have been useful when the boys were younger.)

Here’s the question I ask to frame this up for myself: What is the most loving thing to do or say in this situation? In every conversation, be it work, home, or some other relationships, using your words and sharing your heart is often the most loving/compassionate thing you can do. If you don’t, you run the risk of not fostering healthy relationships and likely even causing that uncomfortable tension that happens when we don’t fully share what is stirring in our soul.

Here are a few possible scenarios:

  • Claiming ground rules and boundaries. (Yeah, we still need to clean up after we cook in the kitchen.)
  • Sharing that you are really scared, that you don’t know how you are going to come out of this financially, physically, mentally or emotionally.
  • Telling a co-worker that you need them to communicate better for the greater good of the team even though you know they are feeling stressed.

I’m sure you can come up with several other useful scenarios. I locked in on this topic early in the week. I had never heard anyone else share this truth of “using your words.” I have however always found that the universe has a way of validating if we are on the right track. Just yesterday, one of my favorite blog follows, theartofsimple.net, shared a few poems and one was titled “Use your words.” I love it.

I hope that this insight offers some encouragement and useful thoughts as you embark on another week. Let’s all choose to use our words and LOVE WELL!

Wonder is our birthright… but is risk?

I was sitting in the Ford dealership waiting for my oil change to be done when I overheard a few men chatting it up. One guy was a pastor somewhere close by, and was sharing that he had preached a sermon Sunday called, “Being at Risk.” My ears perked up.

He talked about the fact that when we are young we start on a bicycle, and that is a risk. Then we go out into the world, where we face many challenges, obstacles, and yep, more risks. My mind took its own spin on this narrative, thinking of how true his statement was. It’s risky to live in the world by nature. It’s risky to love someone, it’s risky to even adopt a pet and find yourself on never-ending parenting duty as the puppy learns to potty outside and not bite and chew on your beloved shoes and furniture. But, without the risk, would we have wonder? Even in this picture I picked for today’s blog: As a young child, it probably feels risky to grab your first lightening bug and feel it wiggle in their palm.

The world is full of risk –– and wonder.

I always share with my peers at work that as long as we go into the day and certain situations with our “eyes wide open,” and have a full view of what is coming at us, that together we can overcome anything. My mantra is “no surprises.” Being aware of both the good and the potential risks ahead is critical. Having a positive attitude is a must have, but I would say that surrounding yourself with others that have a unified vision and can show up strong… that’s the most important part.

We have a lot of wonder around us right now. We have a whole lot of opportunity to look around, take it in, rally and build our teams, and get to work finding the wonder. Sure, there is risk. Sure, there are going to be challenging and courageous conversations. There will likely be sweat and maybe tears involved. But, it will quite possibly move us toward wonder. (My mind goes to skydiving. Surely there is so much wonder after the jump to take in!)

A shout out to that pastor for telling his story. As you can see, I couldn’t help but take what I overheard and run with it. I love the thought circuit that we are all at-risk in this life. But to me, that risk is where wonder is created.

Have the best week. My son gets married on Saturday and the beauty in that is incredible. I cannot wait to share pictures later! Sending love and big joy to you all.

Vibe check: So, how’s it really going?

We have somehow almost pushed our way through May. Virtual and adapted graduations have largely come and gone, school is wrapping up, and Memorial Day on Monday will be our official nod to the summer days ahead. Most of us have adjusted to our routines (Groundhog Day, anyone?) and, like it or not, are realizing that the parts of the reality we lived in a few months ago are now but a memory.

We forge on. Humans are resilient like that.

I love my Peloton bike and find the instructors to be inspiring and generally on point with messages that work for any rider, no matter where they may live. My latest, favorite motivational coach is Alex Toussaint. He has a motto: Vibe check! As in, how are we all doing?

With so many people working from home and having their lives disrupted in many ways, we may have moved too quickly to believing everyone has adapted and is doing okay. They may be doing “okay,” but are they thriving?

We all know that being off-center is normal in smaller doses, and that we generally bounce back. We need to remember that living in this feeling for longer periods of time can (and likely will) take a toll.

It feels to me like it’s time to check in on our vibe, as Alex would say. It’s time to check in on how we ourselves, honestly, are doing, as well as the ones we love.What can we do to help shift out of any place that’s not healthy and help lift each other up? What can we do to keep wellness top of mind? There are so many great resources out there. One of my favorites is from Dr. Michelle Robin, whose resources are life-changing. One of my favorite thoughts she shared just this week was in the context of “what are we dreaming of today,” authored by Carol Lakin.

D – Draft on those that believe in you
R – Relationship: be mindful of who is in your life
E – Enrich: always remember who lifted you up
A – Authentic: Do your work to make generational change (I love this. We can all use this time to give this thought. Moving toward fulfilling a purpose is always an ignitor for the soul.)
M – Meaning or Magic: thank you for giving me a magical life with meaning (I think this is a great time to share this message with someone who has had an impact on my life…)

I would love to hear your thoughts on wellness & how we can keep the vibe going strong. Cheers to warmer days and spreading lots of love where ever and whenever we can.