To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Inspiration

The power of our words

The truth in this quote is beyond powerful. Rachel Held Evans was an incredible and soulful author whose latest book, “Wholehearted Faith,” in collaboration with Jeff Chu*, came out last week. Rachel’s story is profound. I won’t go into that here, but you may want to check out her work. It speaks to me on so many levels.

The full quote:

“Something tells me that we might all be a bit more careful, a bit more gentle, if we knew how our words can travel through another’s ear and linger for a long time in their soul. What if we imagined those words sitting on one another’s kitchen tables, waiting to be reshaped? What if we knew just how much effort and time it might take to transform those ugly and heavy words into something beautiful and primed for flight..”

I grew up with the phrase, “sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.” Anyone else? That is such BS. (Forgive my language choice, but when appropriate…) The power of our words are enormous. Here’s the truth: Words can indeed wreak all kinds of pain and and leave us wandering and replaying, taking us down so many paths that quite likely aren’t based on fact and hurt us.

While the reminder is appreciated, I felt like the POSITIVE lens was what was most impactful for me as I read her words. We have a fantastic opportunity to raise the vibration, elevate the room, lift souls… all by sharing what is good and honoring.

I have so many people in my life that do this soooo well and I love how they shine. To name a few, my sister (she stands alone!)… my friends Gloria, Melissa, Kira, Cindie, Michelle, Amy, Nan, Casi, Jennie and Candace. There are more and yet, I don’t thank them enough. Who are yours? They light a path for me and for others with their constant attention to their words being full of life and hope. What a gift.

I want my words to bring LIFE and JOY. I want my words (even when the conversation is challenging) to linger in souls, and to bring a feeling of true caring, warmth and genuine kindness. I know I really needed this reminder when I read this excerpt, and I hope that you all find this as powerful as I did. It flat out excites me that we can literally make our world better immediately by taking the time to be intentional with speaking out the good.

I hope that you will join me in doing just that. Let’s take some time to reach out and lift up those in our circle! Have a truly wonderful wrap to your week!

*At the request of her family, Jeff completed the book after Rachel’s untimely death- he did a wonderful job!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: I need you to know…

I thought a lot this week about both the beauty and fragility of life. With so much whirling around us, we could miss the extravagant world. As you go into your week, I wanted to leave you with a few thoughts that I hope remind you of who God says we are… It’s helpful to hear that we aren’t defined by our status, personality, possessions, habits or opinions of ourselves or others. Focusing our mind on truth is always a good idea. So, let’s fire up a short list.

I need you to know…

That you have everything you need to fulfill your purpose. (Col 2:10)

That you are forgiven for all of your mindless and even your intentional mistakes. Good to know, because I sure do make a mess sometimes and need this one! (1 John 2:12)

That you are the light of this world. Each of us are charged to bring forward the good and brighten the path for those around us. I LOVE THIS ONE! (Matt 5:14)

That you are MORE than a conqueror… fully equipped to to deal with what this life hands to you. ALSO.. AMAZING! (Romans 8:37)

That you are created for GOOD WORKS… Let’s BRING ON THE GOOD TOGETHER! (Ephesians 2:10)

That you are guarded by God’s Peace… WOW, this one is so essential… Anyone else? (Philippians 4:7)

My friends, there is SO MUCH MORE… you are blessed, protected, accepted, healed, surrounded by God’s mercy, never alone, sufficient, STRONG, joyful, and absolutely WONDERFULLY MADE!

It’s a hard world out there some days and weeks and even years. Yet, we are so much more than we often call to mind. You are also covered in prayer and I am hoping that you have the most incredible week ahead.

More perfect days: 3 ideas to MAKE IT HAPPEN

What is YOUR perfect day? This picture took me back to the days where you could drive down the highway in the back of a pick-up truck and the thought brought a smile. We’ve all heard the message that we only have so many hours, days and weeks, and that we would be wise to live our lives as if we may not have another chance tomorrow. It’s not the cheeriest message, but it is true and I know many of you have come face-to-face with that. It strikes me that a worthy goal for all of us could be to have more “perfect days.” Perfect as in: What really warms your heart, brings you energy, a smile and a deep sense of joy? Identify it, and then do it!

I love to ask this question as an ice breaker because it is a blast to hear everyone’s version. I love learning and observing the endless ways people live their lives and soak up happiness. Surfers, farmers, old car collectors, chefs, runners, quilters… all of it! I got to thinking it may be useful to blog about it! As always, I hope this is helpful as we all strive toward serving this world in a way that only we can.

  1. Get some CLARITY around what a perfect day looks like for you. I love to wake up early, add in a bit of exercise, a trip to the farmer’s market, spend time with someone I love, and maybe take a nap… On the other hand, I also love to have a lazy day with no schedule and the ability to just let the day flow as it does – reading, listening to great music, the latest Netflix binge, a good bottle of wine… There are no wrong answers! I see value in being specific – What food will you eat? What exercise will you do? Two or three versions of your perfect day could be a good start, including a work day!
  2. Next, SCHEDULE these! Living out our best lives takes INTENTION. I know this sounds easy, but it is truly amazing how you can look back on the past month and ask yourself how many “perfect” days you had and only be able to think of maybe one or two. Why is that? It’s because we have to put plans in place to clear off our days to ensure we MAKE IT HAPPEN. You may have to move things that aren’t your best yes, and that is simply okay. What if, for the month of November, you try to double the number of perfect days you had in October? Personally, that sounds like a goal worth my time.
  3. Share the idea with those in your immediate circle. Talk with your family, colleagues, etc., and ask them to do the same so you can hold each other accountable. Community is what connects us and helps us thrive. We truly cannot do this life on our own.

Here’s to another strong week and many perfect days ahead! Let’s wrap up 2021 with more joy than we started it with!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The power of understanding our role(s)

“One of the very best things we can do as moms (fill in the blank here… dads, daughters, sons, wives, husbands, friends…) … is recognize only God is good at being God.”

Lysa Terkuerst

Her post goes on to say that although it is natural for us to be fearful and want to do whatever we can to prevent our kids from making choices that make our heart race and tears flow, we are better off if we recognize that there is a better way. She shares that we can only recapture hard moments and make it better by praying the POWER of God, the PROTECTION of God, the PROVISION of God, and the PERSPECTIVE of God’s wisdom into our children’s lives. What God is doing behind the scenes may not happen as soon as we’d like, and yet, over and over there are is tangible evidence of that truth.

I would add that not only might it not happen as soon as we’d like, but it may not happen HOW we would have liked it to be done. This message spoke to me because I oftentimes find myself with friends or family that are being challenged by what is happening with someone they care about; who are experiencing, either by choice or happenstance a really hard season. When someone you love is making bad choices that is often really hard to sit with – painful really. Most of us have had some life experience that leaves us believing we should not only share our advice and story, but that our lessons are going to be someone else’s as well. If we could only fall short of that, and instead shift to asking a few thoughtful questions and then leaving it to prayer.

This of course is not easy. It takes a constant self check to ask ourselves if we are trying to enforce our will or desires in these situations. Are we making it worse possibly by our constant worry and inability to listen and over”sell” our personal strategy or how to list? I’m not sure about you, but I know that even in my life’s bigger decision making, I easily create narratives of what makes sense or doesn’t. I have to hold myself accountable for ensuring that these decisions weren’t manifested in my mind, but instead are aligned with my core values and where God is taking me. (Also not easy, but another post on reading those proverbial tea leaves.)

All in all, we aren’t God (thankfully!), and it would do us good this week to remember that using the powerful weapon of prayer is what we need to get it off of our worry list and in the hands of someone who has proven over and over through time that they can handle it just fine! Have an incredible start to November!

Insights on courage: Powerful learnings from Florence Nightingale

“I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took excuses.”

– Florence Nightingale

These words are timeless. Accountability is one of Nightingale’s key principles, both for herself and for those she was working alongside to solve the important problems of her time. Here are the others I felt were incredible and worth sharing today:

According to Florence Nightingale, a biography from Cecil Woodham-Smith, SHE…

  • Worked shoulder to shoulder with the team, jumped right in and was eager to help in what seemed like any way, and under any conditions. Her attitude and selfless spirit made the difference!
  • Used her influence to drive critical change. She came from a wealthy family, but she overcame their resistance of her chosen career, then used her network to achieve success.
  • Used real data and questioned it… In doing so, she was able to use this to amplify her message and make decisions.

Her timely reference by Ryan Holiday (see Sunday’s blog) on the topic of courage was a stand out. As a health care leader, I was aware of Ms. Nightingale but hadn’t studied her life. I hope you might find this as helpful as I did. These are powerful reminders to all of us that serving and leaving a legacy of worth requires courage and doing things in a way that is often challenged. (Can you imagine that a woman was actually able to make such and impact at this time in history?) It sometimes doesn’t feel good and often feels like a very uncomfortable hike up a rocky mountain or hillside. I feel that the lessons above give us practical advice for building courage.

Some questions to leave you with on this insight:

  • Is there an opportunity in any part of your world to be more accountable? Are you accepting excuses from yourself or others that are relying on you to be strong and courageous?
  • Is your spirit one that is focused on the team? Are you willing to be uncomfortable to get important work done? (When was the last time you were uncomfortable WITH your team solving big problems?)
  • What is important to you? Have you used your influence, resources or gifts to the best you can to help solve the small and big challenges we face? If not, what can you do today to move in that direction?
  • Are you seeking data and quality information when you are addressing an area that is important to you? Have you asked good questions and been rigorous about ensuring that you have reviewed not just good, but trustworthy information? How can you move past headlines to the root of the issues?

I hope that you will have a WONDERFUL wrap to this week and that you will always find the courage (It’s okay to borrow it from time to time) to do whatever it is that sets your soul on fire.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: A week of courage

Ryan Holiday is a terrific author. I have read almost all of his books (Ego is the Enemy, The Daily Stoic and Stillness is the Key (my fav)). His latest, “Courage is Calling” is worth a week of blog posts. I hope you will find these as wonderful (and helpful) as I have. Ryan’s books are easy reads – small but mighty.

On Sunday I try to focus in on how faith coincides with key insights that help us build better lives. Courage is a hot topic in this arena, and even those who weren’t raised around the church are usually familiar with the David and Goliath story. The epic battlefield scene that called on the least likely warrior (a young boy) to lead his tribe to victory in defeating the town giant. Sometimes life’s giants call us to overcome our fears with a strong dose of courage. How we might do that is worth some dialogue.

Lucky for us, there are countless people throughout history who have displayed crazy bravery. From Nelson Mandela, to Malala, to Teddy Roosevelt, Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks or perhaps your own parents or grandparents. The stories are worth learning and relearning in my opinion. In his writing, Holiday spends quite a bit of time focused on Florence Nightingale. I didn’t know just what an amazing human she was, and what a beautiful example of every day courage she demonstrated. I’m planning to spend more time on her in Wednesday’s blog. Today, I am focusing on perhaps the key to conquering our fears…

“We must make courage a habit,” is what was my greatest takeaway when you strip it all down. There are endless examples, from athletes who didn’t expect to hit the game-winning goal, to the lawyer who stood in front of the mirror reciting their rebuttal over and over, to the teenager who walked the halls before school started to get a bit more comfortable with that feelings of entering their next stage of life.

He continues, “How can you trust that you will step forward when the stakes are high, when you regularly don’t do that even when the stakes are low? So, we must test ourselves.” That is soooo good to me! The idea of how we navigate our own everyday lives by practicing the good we hope to produce seems fundamental, yet complicated. The decisions we make even when thinking about helping others with our resources comes to mind. Sometimes we are too afraid of not having enough, that we don’t give generously, even though we know we could meet a need of our friend or co-worker. Ruminating on the idea of practicing... testing ourselves doing everyday good is worthy of our thinking and of our efforts.

As we think through the idea of testing on the big things, It is clear that we must start with small things. The adage, “Do one thing each day that scares you,” is a step in that direction. I believe we must always be pushing ourselves to the other side of our comfort zone.

I recently finished up my scuba diving certification and it was way out of my comfort zone. Honestly, that surprised me, because I’ve always been an avid swimmer, but the idea of carrying around an oxygen tank on your back and going 30 feet under seems daunting. Nevertheless, I made it a personal goal to do hard things, especially as I get older. The instructor almost didn’t get me to finish because I was quite adamant that I just didn’t want to, and frankly didn’t see the point during that moment of near panic. The bottom line is that I, for some reason, was too scared. He ultimately was successful by getting me to just “go on a little swim” over and over until I eventually built up the courage to keep going so I could pass the certification. It may seem like an insignificant example but I assure you, this is how I and others have done almost everything that was scary to them: by continuing to move forward, one small step at a time.

Regardless of if it’s deciding to push yourself physically, to become emotionally uncomfortable for a bit while you address a hard conversation, or if it’s something spectacular, it all starts by practice – forward progress in the direction you are headed. David did this during his daily practice as a shepherd boy, and most likely so did everyone else that has encountered a courageous moment.

My faith gives me courage, and my friends do as well. My boys give me this unbelievable desire to stay strong and be courageous in all that I do. I hope that you will feel called to be courageous and in one way or another, be inspired to practice courage daily. Sometimes just getting through the day should be considered practice. Sometimes we have to think through what areas of our lives have we really not prepared ourselves really well? What stress or pain points need confronted with a bit of Rosa Park’s bravado? I have a short list and imagine you may as well.

As I close out today’s post, I leave you with my son’s favorite Bible verse. It’s a good one and he picked this in 3rd grade, proving it is never too early. “Be on your guard. stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.” (1 Corinthians 16:13).

I think I’ll go try to do that this week! Anyone else?

#HeardOnPeloton: “I make suggestions, you make decisions.”

Many of you know I’m a huge fan of the Peloton bike. It has been the single greatest resource to get me up and moving. The coaches provide me the encouragement I need to maintain continuity and leave every ride better. Last week, this little inspirational “nugget” stopped me in my tracks, and I promptly added it to my notes on my phone. It was destined to be a blog post.

Anyone else find this statement to be profound? The Peloton instructors offer so much more than the physical challenges on the bike. They bring narratives that remind us we star in the show of our life. God knows that we have too many voices shouting (figuratively) to us at what seems like the majority of our days. We also have these quiet nudges that seem to be the most useful. I like to think of these as God prodding me in one direction or another. Others point to the psychology of human behavior; I suspect both are contributors.

Richard H Thaler’s book, “Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness,” is actually sitting in my read/re-read stack right this minute. The book has mixed reviews but offers value in pointing to the small and subtle pushes that help guide our choices.

For consideration today: How do we identify and think through these? Are they a call to something greater, or perhaps only a distraction?

Ultimately, I believe most of us, stoics and simple minded humans alike, are trying to optimize life. Who doesn’t want to take these suggestions and end up with something for ourselves and our family? The remarkable nature of the human mind and spirit gives us more latitude here than we likely need. It would be easy to have one or two choices, but freedom is a gift that is also a challenge. In my assessment, we simply have to realize the power of the choices we make. We have to go into each day, each meeting, each activity we start or stop… all of it, with a pre-decision. I’ve written about the concept before, but ultimately the thought, which was coined by Mark Batterson (@markbatterson), revolves around what we decide a head of time. “I am going to push myself today. I am going to have an easy ride. I am going to enter this conversation with a heart full of love. I am going to make a healthy choice for my food intake today.” You get the point. We have a world of options that we take in… we listen for the nudges, and then we decide.

Today, I am making a decision to live out my best life. To go forth slowly while praying earnestly for discernment and wisdom. To consider the nudges, but to be aware that not everything or everyone is in my best interest. I am going to surround myself with wise counsel and people who bring out the best in me. How about you?

Cheering you all on! Have an incredible week and enjoy every hour of these beautiful fall days.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: “You are strong and brave” – The power of provision

Sometimes it is so challenging for me to choose what to write about. I have so many swirling thoughts that trying to lasso in the one God wants me to focus on can be challenging. I try to be mindful of what speaks to me and what might serve you all the most. On this Sunday, I hope that at least one of you finds some good in these humble words. So, drum roll please on where my heart went for this post…

I’m reminded over and over again this week that God’s provision is literally spread around like confetti if we search for it.

Lysa Terkeurst (@lyseterkeurst) is one of those women who provides mentorship from afar. She’s an author and fellow mom, and recently she made a comment that spoke to me. It was something to the tune of “God’s word is the only provision you need.” In my experience, that’s about right. If you tune in, you might find that the direction or guidance you need is right in front of you. In fact, God’s word illustrates beautifully the primary insight of this post, which is that of the “provision” of friendship.

The people you find yourself surrounded by are an example of God’s provision in my mind. The people who seem to step into the story at just the right time; who send you an encouraging text, or share a photo just in time… The people who God chose to surround you at that exact point in your life. What a gift!

Who else loves the truth that you have a God-given tribe around you, and that they were designated for you personally, just for this moment? On the flip side, who else wants to be the person chosen to be that friend to someone else? I love to be there for others, and want to be able to give my time, my presence, my love … especially in times of need. Lysa shared some terrific advice for us as we think through how to be a better friend in a tough time:

“Instead of (asking) ‘Are you okay?’ text this: ‘You are strong and brave. If you ever have a day you forget that, I’m here to remind you.'”

Lysa Terkeurst

Isn’t that great? It really spoke to me, both as someone who would love better ways to help others, but also someone who needs this personally.

I have felt the challenges of the last year on my soul. The accumulation of all manner of stresses has left me wondering what in the world is going on. In all of that, God has clearly appointed some beautiful people to be that provision for me, and today I am especially grateful for that gift. I hope that some or all of you may be reading this in case I haven’t personally thanked you. I know I need to find time to do way better at sharing my heart on this matter. It occurs to me, that some of you may not know you are filling that role because you didn’t know I was in this phase*. (Anyone else not big on sharing the not so fun parts of life?)

I hope that you realize God has given us the provisions we need in this life. He has given us his guidance in stories. He has provided us leaders, like Lysa, with wisdom to share, countless friends, and thankfully has provided us eyes and ears to be alert, and to listen; hearts to encourage, and minds to know to step in when needed. All of these should be counted as great blessings, for I believe they are the very roots of our lives, holding us regardless of the changing winds.

I’m praying for you all today – for you to continue to grow and learn, and to desire to run toward God and every dream and every hope in your heart.

*If you don’t know my entire story, you may not be aware that it has been a heavy lift literally from what I remember as 3 years old forward. I have written it and will publish it at some point, but in the meantime, feel free to ask and I will share individually. I share those only to say that my writing does not come without true experience.

Called to write again: Imagining the impact we might have

Happy Wednesday, everyone! My last post on June 9* shared that I was in construction/remodel mode, which is true in almost every aspect of my life. The remodel at home is 90+% complete and the other parts of my life are clearly on their own time table. Those who have been a student of life for more than a few decades, know that we are always in some type of “updating” as we navigate the journey God has for us, and that, my friends, is by grand design and that is absolutely wonderful to know and live out. However, we must acknowledge that the path is not always well laid out and often is full of debris and weathered. (And thank God for the times that the same path is clearly marked, smooth and even sunny with birds chirping as we stroll by.)

Let’s chat about that for a moment. We all seem to hear over and over again that the last 19 months have been unprecedented. The reality it, we don’t know the full extent and impact of this to our wellbeing quite yet. We actually have no real way to know if or when this will return to the way of life we knew prior to March of 2020.

Adam Grant wrote a great piece in the New York Times, identifying the feeling as “languishing.” The term is defined by not really making progress, stagnating and watching what is happening, almost as if you are an outsider looking in at your life. If you dig a bit deeper, you will also find that languishing can mean the “absence of mental health,” and is synonymous with “sinking, weakening or wilting.” Humans were created with a mind for forward progress and momentum, so this feeling takes us off our center.

The Bible (my go-to) is clear that we are to be productive and to contribute, so when we get stalled, this feeling is real and supported. Everyone I know seems to have this deep knowing that something is not quite right, and the idea of “languishing” resonates some days.

So, how should we think about this reality we find ourselves in? What options do have to not just endure them, but to make an impact and the best kind of forward progress? I’m not an expert of course, but a midwestern lady that happens to have a passion for learning and also for loving people, so I’ll give it my best shot today.

Here’s what I think God wants me to share: Humans may have been created for forward movement, but above that we are called to honor. My life verse is Romans 12:10, “Outdo one another in showing honor…be affectionate to your brethren and love one another; be preferring and honoring of one another…” It’s the most clarifying thought to me, regardless of where we are in the pandemic or our construction process. No matter what, we are given truly wonderful guidance to honor, to love and to serve each other. (Side note: Keep your eyes and heart open for
who God lays on your heart. It might be someone unexpected.)

So, what if today we all just focus on that? What would happen if we all brought forward our full selves in not just a spirit of honor for each other, but in faith in action? My friend Joey, is my mentor on this topic. Where can your actions support your faith and your desire to honor, love and serve? Who needs a bit of your joy today? Imagine the impact that would have?

Thank you again for following this writing. I am trying to up my prayer game, so I am committing to you today that I am doubling down on prayer for each of you and cheering you on wherever life finds you today!

Quick closing note: I mentioned in my post from June that I want to do things differently, and that’s still in the works. If you or someone you know is interested in helping with design or in getting a newsletter format off the ground, please let me know!

“Bring My People Together”

My takeaways from Mindy Corporon’s new book, “Healing a Shattered Soul.”

I was fortunate to receive a copy of this book from Mindy, and I want to share some thoughts I had after I closed the final page. Although I walked some of this journey with Mindy, there was an enormous part I had no idea about, and I am incredibly grateful that she wrote this book. It is a must read for anyone who has had a major loss. Even for those of us who have not, the book helps us to be a better friend for those who cross our paths who have.

The purpose of this blog is to focus on “serving well.” Just how do we do that in our homes, workplace and community? This books brings forward so much good in answering that question in perhaps the toughest challenge we face as humans. Just how can we do that in a crisis? One where there are no words, and often so incredibly uncomfortable that you don’t even want to lean in at all for fear of somehow making it worse. As Mindy shares, those people that leaned in actually helped her and her family through the most painful days. And still today – 7 years later – provide them energy, prayer and the strength to use their story to better our world. Leaning in is important and the stories weaved throughout this book offer us countless ways to do just that. It’s powerful.

The title of today’s blog pivots to the center message that Mindy has heard God speaking to her since that tragic day: “Bring your people together.” The work that Mindy and her family have led over the past several years has done just that.  Their desire to bring together people to develop knowledge and an understanding of our interfaith differences has been timely for where we find ourselves in at this point in our nation’s history. If you aren’t familiar with the work, check out Give Seven Days. Their themes of “Love, Discover, Others, Connect, You and Go,” provide a basis for the mission which spans both interfaith and multi-generational opportunities to better our community.

The significance of how God has orchestrated this tragedy for good in this world is further evidence that good can and will come out of the bad if we listen and commit our actions to the work.   Mindy shares in the book this quote, “It was clear to me that following His (God’s) direction that night immediately gave me strength and comfort.” I love that, because I have found that be true, and a constant reminder is helpful. Somehow, when we listen to God, the peace and strength that gives us is second to none. It’s a beautiful experience and one I have realized a few times in my life. I need to listen more.

I could go on and on with insights today, but I want to leave it with what I feel is the perfect wrap-up quote from Mindy’s book. The message brings together this idea of service and also her mission to make good come…

“Just as family and friends were instruments of God, available to breathe life into me, I have picked up my own cross to pay it forward to help others find healing, hope, and inspiration.” 

My prayer is that we will all be able to be instruments when the need arises and that we will have the courage to pick up our cross in whatever areas God sends us and act boldly, knowing God is with us. If you follow Mindy’s story (and I hope you do from now on if you haven’t) you will see a life well-lived, in action. She is an absolute inspiration for me and gives me courage and bravery along life’s twists and turn. I am forever grateful.

I hope you will pick up this book and both learn and then share it with anyone you know who might have experienced a serious loss. It will be very useful to them as they process their grief and find themselves on a path to healing.