To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Inspiration

What stories do you want to tell and create?

(Photo Creds: We Heart It. I’d love to give further credit for the photo, but the app doesn’t give details… folks, I know this is a professional photo and I give full credit.)

I am a total sucker for award shows, especially the speeches. Speaking from the heart… those are the ones I love. If you joined me watching the Oscars on Sunday evening there were many. The humble and selfless speeches were plentiful and endearing. My favorite was Viola Davis’ speech for the best supporting actress win for her role in Fences. I have not seen it, but will.

Viola’s words captured the audience as we hung on to her words. She commanded the audience to listen and gave the “academy” a great window into why they selected her for this award.

What stood out to me, was this tag line. It was the crux of her speech, sharing that she wished to tell the stories of the past – of the dreamers who died too soon, people who fell in love and lost, so to speak. What a worthy question for us all.

What kind of stories do you want to tell?

With our ONE LIFE, we  have this opportunity to tell and live out really cool stories. To reach into the past as Viola shared, or to CREATE A NARRATIVE ALL OUR OWN – Steve Jobs… Oprah… just a few potential examples.

I love to learn from the past and to be completely overwhelmed by the minds and lives of those in history. I equally love to watch the modern day world take on building on our world’s greatness. I think I want to take my place on the CREATING part. To come up with a new story. One that carves a new path and changes lives for the better.

Did you have a favorite part of the Oscars? (Let’s for sure talk about that ending… wow… live TV is terrific.)

Rewind: Take a step up and laugh in the process

(This is a post from March 2016. Enjoy!)

I wanted to take today to offer a bit of humor with a life lesson! I also wanted to use the adorable picture of a donkey that I took in Nazareth while on my trip.

I know most of you have heard this story, but it’s worth repeating. Actually, it spoke to me, because there are a few stones coming in my path that I need to step up and over. I hope you not only find it funny, but that you  grab a little life lesson in there. (By the way, the story doesn’t seem to have an official owner, but whoever came up with it, thanks! We give you credit.)

The famous ‘donkey and the well’ story:

“One day, a farmer’s donkey fell deep into a well. The animal cried for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over & help him. They all grabbed a dirt & began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey didn’t realized what was happening & cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel ­of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.

He would shake it off & take a step up. As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off & take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well & happily trotted off!

Always remember in life that:

  • Life is going to throw dirt on you.
  • The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
  • Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.
  • We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up, and by taking a step up.
  • In this world people will always throw stones in the path of your success, It depends on you..what you make from them a wall or a bridge!”

Now for the rest of this story…

“The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

The moral of the latter part of this story: When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you!”

Too funny! And a rich story about life – never quit, never surrender.

Grounded and grateful: 3 reasons to reconnect with friends

What fun it was to spend a day with my college sorority sisters on Saturday. I have to say, after not spending any quality time with them over the past 25+ years, our time felt like we were still 19 hanging out talking about God knows what.

Today, my hope is that you will find value in connecting with some of your friends from the past. Here are a few reasons why it’s a good idea:

  1. They GROUND YOU! Sure, we have all moved on and experienced life, but these gals know me. They know me before the career, the family, the kids, the deaths, the divorce… Yes, life may change you, but your CORE is the same, and surrounding yourself with the folks who knew you “back then” is refreshing. I’m certain that if we would have had access, we would have permed our hair, put on some thick blue eyeliner, and sported some killer 1980s outfits!
  2. They INSPIRE YOU! This one I hadn’t really thought of and it was the most surprisingly cool part of the weekend. These ladies have gone through so much and despite it all, they have persevered and came out a quarter of a century or more later better and more beautiful. I felt like I could get through anything by hearing their stories.
  3. They PROPEL YOU! I know we were friends and we probably cheered each other on during college to some degree, but let’s be honest, at that point in our life we are all trying to get through, to achieve, to aspire, to move up the ladder of life. In other words, I’m not sure we propelled each other forward on purpose. What I know now, is that the encouragement these ladies gave me over the weekend is enough to keep me pedaling and pushing ahead.

We all need to be in “community,” and connected, and although I have an absolutely wonderful group of friends and colleagues, coming back to “home base” for me was notable. My encouragement is for you to reach out, schedule some meaningful time, tell the stories that “made you” and where you’ve been, what your hopes are…

It may be some of the best time you have spent in years… It was for me!

Simple thoughts Sunday: Reclaim your peace

(Photo creds: We Heart It)

Folks, I listened to this message this week, and it was a strong one. Joyce Meyer, who is one of the most amazing Christian preachers, seems to always speak to me quite loudly. I have her app on my phone, and on long walks I listen through her daily 25 minute podcasts. Joyce is 73, a motherly type figure for someone my age, but more like a wise sage in that she is so well-versed in the word of God and its application to real life that you hang on to every word.

So, this particular segment was about reducing stress. I can use that pretty much every day of the year. I would characterize myself as spirit-led, and the “type of gal” who is able to handle the daily stresses of life.

Even given that, stress seems to echo in the background noise coming from TV, social media, work life and the stress that enters the homes of each of us. It’s a topic that always leaves us wondering how to persevere better.

Joyce asked us to “make a list” of who steals our peace. Whoa! Immediately, I had three come to mind. None of you though, I promise. 😉

Next, she said to really ask God to take those people (that your human existence cannot seem to handle alone) on for you. It’s that simple. Right? Well, I talk to God about those things, but not sure I have “claimed” them as stealing my peace, so I’m going to give it a try.

She wrapped up her message with what we already know well, that in areas of your life you don’t have peace over, you lose your power. I need my power. As I age, I value every last minute/vial/whatever measurement of it.

As you get ready for another week and your goal toward having the “BEST YEAR YET,” I hope you see some value in this exercise. I’ll be praying for all of you, in fact, I am right now as I write this.

“Peacemakers who SOW IN PEACE REAP a HARVEST of righteousness.”  James 3:18

“Let the Peace of Christ rule in your hearts…”  Col 3:15

“Cast all your anxiety on him…”  1 Peter 5:7

Go ahead, jump the fence!

(Photo creds: We Heart it)

Having the right photo or image is always important to me when I prep for a blog. I told my son I wanted to do something funny today – something to perhaps add some levity to our day and get away from anything too serious.

Initially, this idea of “jumping the fence” was captured in a conversation about diversity and the need for us to not be afraid to experience different cultures, food, people, environments, etc. That is still a good idea, but what’s better (I hope for you too) today is this perspective of the image.

Through all of the stress that America has realized over the last few months, and what seems like a never-ending back and forth accelerated by social media, WE REALLY NEED TO LAUGH.

So maybe this photo captures how you feel as you try to get away from your friends’ viewpoints on Trump…? Or, perhaps you had so much fun watching the Grammy Awards on Sunday that you gave some thought to changing career paths to become a rock star… You know you’ve got that image now of you on Monday morning with your blazer on and your friends cheering you on running & jumping toward your new found PATH TO GLORY.

No matter what it is, make it a demonstration of fun, friends and no doubt a lot of laughs. (By the way, that may be me struggling to even get up the dang fence.)

I’m in the mood to jump the proverbial fence into brighter territory. Into something meaningful and beautiful and truly FUN. Grab your tribe this weekend and create some memories filled with laughter!

Yes, we can develop GRIT! 4 ways to move forward!

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

I just wrapped up reading the bestseller, “GRIT, The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth. It will definitely be on the top of my reading list for this quarter.

I got almost through it, and thankfully there was an entire section at the end devoted to “Growing grit from the outside in.” As I poured through the book, I was hoping it did not say that if you or your kids did not have this critical life skill that you were out of luck. There are plenty of character qualities that are innate, and that are hard to develop if you don’t have them. (At least that’s what they taught me in behavioral management training. Judgment by the way is one of those…)

The great news is that WE CAN DEVELOP GRIT. Whew!

“First and foremost, there’s no either/or trade-off between supportive parenting and demanding parenting. It’s a common misunderstanding to think of “tough love” as a carefully struck balance between affection and respect on the one hand, and firmly enforced expectations on the other. In actuality, there’s no reason you can’t do both,” Duckworth writes.

As a parent of 20-year-old boys, I can say that this is more than true in my experience. Having said that, I think my personality was a little too “supportive.” Of course I demanded respect, and still do, but firmly enforcing doesn’t sound much like my house, which isn’t really a good thing.

Thankfully this blog isn’t about me, but I do feel it’s important to be authentic. My boys are amazing, but perhaps I could do more to impress the critical importance of GRIT. So, what I thought was really cool in this book, was a little segment on “Doing Hard Things.” I did at one time write a blog on this, but a different focus to the concept. Here’s what I found valuable that I hope you get something out of, too:

The author’s family employed a three-part “Hard Thing Rule.”

  1. Everyone, including mom and dad, has to do a hard thing. A hard thing is defined by something that required deliberate practice. (Her example as a mom was that she studies psychological research, but also that she is trying to employ a yoga practice.)
  2. You can quit, but you CAN’T quit until the season is over. Listen up, that means high school and college kids should be “grittier” when it comes to sticking with classes. The hard classes that we all want to relieve ourselves of… YOU MUST FINISH WHAT YOU BEGIN.
  3. YOU GET to pick your hard thing. Nobody picks it for you. Mom and dad, you can’t decide your 10 year old should be a piano player. She really does a nice job of explaining that her kids cycled though dozens of interests to get to something they enjoyed.

They had a fourth added after their children got to a mature age… this was…

4. Must commit to at least one activity, either something new or something they’ve started. In other words, you cannot just decide you aren’t going to actively be practicing something. Think of the natural tendency to stop sports after graduation.

I like this “hard thing” concept and am thinking through how we might approach the idea in our family. Heck, I think all of us can do this. What I really like is that as you get older, you have to push each other to exercise, to stay strong, to sharpen your mind, etc., and that my friends is GRIT. We need to keep growing it at all ages in order to live out our lives of purpose.

If you are a reader, pick up this one. It is truly a game changer.

Simple thoughts Sunday: We can’t do it alone

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

Many of you might know that Exodus is at the front of the Bible. I truly love the lessons I have learned by focusing on Old Testament wisdom over the last several years. It is clear that God knew right up front that we needed some solid advice on how to navigate life. This particular bit of advice is a key message that I can use over and over again. I hope you hear the message speaking directly to you, because I know for sure that many – if not most of us – don’t do this well.

I don’t know what “it” is for you, but I do know that regardless of whether it’s the simple act of getting through the day – sailing a proverbial boat – or a large project like getting out of debt or starting a new business… we are not supposed to get through it alone. We are meant to be a community, bringing others alongside us to accomplish our purpose.

I hope that this week you will put down the phone and think through what areas of your life you might need to delegate with the help of your community at school, work and home to be BETTER than you could be on your own.

Side note: As a mom, I hope all of you parents don’t hesitate to field some work to the kids… They need it… (note the “tough love” language in the verse). Tuesday we talk about developing “grit” in our homes and this is a good step.

Guest blog: The art of self care

​​The following blog post is from my friend and blog helper, Ashley, who is an education reporter in St. Louis. (Photo credit: Pexels)​​

I’m an outgoing introvert. Weird, right?

There is such a stigma around introversion that makes people think you’re bound to be a cat lady — or dog lady, in my case — who has a DVR packed with shows and no friends to go grab a bite with.

Au contraire. I have a dog, no television and I spend plenty of time with my pals.

But being an introvert, or someone who needs to recharge while being by myself, means I keep a pretty tight leash on my calendar, like Lori talked about in Tuesday’s post. In fact, it’s safe to say I’m a little obsessive about my priorities.

It’s not because I’m stingy with my time. It’s so I can share the best version of myself with each of the people I spend time with, whether it’s a source I’m grabbing mid-morning coffee with, a friend during happy hour or a grocery trip with grandma.

Covet your calendar. And schedule time for yourself each day.

Do you have a routine in place that gives you some time to reflect or recharge? Even extroverts need that. For me, it’s my hour or so at the gym each morning. For some it’s a long walk. A trip to Starbucks.

Here are a few suggestions for recharging that you can hopefully supplement with Lori’s point this week about taking control of your calendar for your best yes:

  • Meditate: So many of my friends are raving about the Headspace app that I’m tempted to buy it. There’s a free option that I tried a while back during a time when I didn’t let the value soak in. Headspace is a 10 minute per day guided meditation via an app. One of my friends uses the last bit of his lunch break each day to get his 10 minutes in before giving his attention back to the world. He swears by it.
  • Practice gratitude: Yogis, whom I respect, are big into gratitude. Heck, it’s part of some eastern religions, too. We could all get better at this. During your next drive, I challenge you to give it a shot, but focus inward. Turn the music down. Think about the things you did this week that you’re rightfully proud about. Let the feeling of productivity and gratitude for your own strength wash over you. I’ll try this, too.

Here’s a list of more ideas from a blog site, PopSugar, about self care. Read up and enjoy.​​

Getting to the BEST YES

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

My friend and I were strolling through a string of boutiques and this shirt immediately grabbed my attention. It’s a hoot. It seemed that everyone that saw it got a good chuckle. (I’m not sure how many they’ve sold because, afterall, who has the guts to actually wear the shirt. I’m trying to get mine up the level where I will.)

It’s funny because it is sooo true. It seems all of us say “YES” to too many events that, at least initially, had the promise of being something we just had to attend. When the time comes, we are struggling to answer the question of why we said we’d go in the first place. I mean wouldn’t it be better to stay in… you’ve had a long week, and heck, it’s only 26 degrees outside. Maybe yes… maybe no…

A couple of years ago, author Lysa TerKeurst, wrote a nice little read on the topic of the “BEST YES.” The book offers insight into why we say yes in the first place and also how to rethink our decisions so we can get to the VERY BEST YES for ourselves at any given season of our life. She deals with the fear we have of not achieving what we need/want if we stop attending every networking event, etc. – and much more. It’s terrific and you should grab it if it’s interesting to you at all.

This is a short post today, but I want to say that for us to truly get to where we are living our purpose and serving at our highest level, we HAVE TO get to the BEST YES. That means, not attending that party, shower, happy hour… every single time.

It means looking at our priorities and ensuring our calendar is lined up with whatever we need to do to achieve our purpose. I only wish it were that easy. Perhaps we can cheer each other on to ensure everyone is truly choosing their BEST YES. We will all be better for it! No judgement! 🙂 Have a great week.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Black History Month – Why we must continue to educate ourselves

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

I loved this photo because it depicts a diverse and loving community of students. Students who don’t know yet the meaning of “minorities,” nor the impact race, religion or sex have had on the lives of their families and friends.

While, I love that idea, I also acknowledge that we must continue to educate ourselves and future generations on what America’s history looks like, so that we can be sure to learn from the best stories and those that don’t reflect our most shining moments.

This Proverb spoke to the idea of seeking wisdom. I hope all of you would say that wisdom is not only worth finding, but needed now more than ever in our lifetime!

So, on this first Sunday of Black History Month 2017, I hope you prioritize becoming more educated on America’s past and how it relates to us today. Our nation would certainly not be as great as it is today without the diversity and strength of this great community. As we struggle as a country to unify around all manner of issues, let this be a month of gaining the wisdom required to help us reach the next level.

I’m all in.

Some side notes:

In preparing for this blog, I found out some cool facts about African American leaders I didn’t know yet, which reminded of how little I know…

  • Madam C.J. Walker was America’s first self-made woman to become a millionaire. She was considered an entreprenuer and a philanthropist in her time (1867-1919). Isn’t that awesome?! Her product was beauty and hair products… some things never change for us women.
  • Thurgood Marshall was the first African American man appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court in 1967. He served for 24 years and was appointed by President Lyndon B. Johnson. Please note that in 1967, our country was still divided over Civil Rights issues. Bold move by the president and AMAZING COURAGE by the Honorable Thurgood Marshall.
  • In 1992, Dr. Mae Jamison became the first African American woman to go into space aboard the space shuttle Endeavor. Not only that, but she is a professor, dancer, actress and holds nine honorary doctorates in science, engineering, letters and the humanities. Can you say POWERFUL?

(Side note: If you haven’t yet made it to see “Hidden Figures” one of the Oscar favorites, you should! The amazing, unheard story of the brilliant African American women who played a key role in NASA for many years. It is a must see for students of all ages.)

Some major, fun lessons you and your family may want to sharpen your minds around this month:

  • The Underground Railroad, a secret network of routes and safe houses used by African American slaves to escape into the free states.
  • Rosa Parks’ story, as well as the many women who lead the Civil Rights movement. Much to my surprise, there are several Rosas – she’s just the one most of us know!
  • Inoculatin (Vaccinations) were introduced to America by a slave named Onesimus.
  • The diverse history of Historically Black Colleges and Universities. Very cool story, and there are two state-funded HBCUs in Missouri! One in Jefferson City and anther in St. Louis. There used to be a private, religious HBCU in Kansas – Western University – but it stopped operating in the 1940s.
  • One in four cowboys was black… In fact it is believed that the real “Lone Ranger” was inspired by an African American man named Bass Reeves.

Have fun learning. Share your stories if you learn something interesting… I’m sure we will all love it!