To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Inspiration

Black History Month series: If you still don’t understand

Here’s the story of Mae Berther Carter, who raised a young family in 1965

That really isn’t that long ago, if you ask me! I think it’s important to put things into perspective.

During 1965, Ms. Carter enrolled 7 of her 13 children (boy, she had to have been busy!) in public schools that were previously reserved only for white students.

Despite people firing bullets into her home, she persisted. Despite being evicted from her home, she persisted. (Does “Nevertheless, she persisted” conversation from last year resonate with anyone else here?)

In 1969, Ms. Carter and her husband won a lawsuit challenging the “freedom of choice” laws. That same year, a court order ended the segregation system in the Drew School District. All 7 of those children later graduated from that school. (No clue what happened to the other six…) It is hard to fathom a school — and for that matter, public or private spaces — being reserved only for certain people. To think that inequality like this ever existed is far from the teaching of most value systems, spiritual and not. (Side note: There is inequality still today in so many areas, which is in a large part what the #MeToo movement is about. I am not so sure our country has advanced as much as it could have.)

At any rate, these stories compel me, as they shrink the topic to a level I can consume.

My mom was 22 years old then, and although she’s aging now, it’s hard to think she walked through this world at the same age my boys are now. That brings it close to home for me. As I shared Tuesday, science shows through epigenetics that those harsh realities impact the generations that followed, including those alive today.

That means someone you sit next to at work or church; someone you watch on television or perhaps in one of the Oscar-nominated films — they’re affected. You see, we all have our story. We all have backgrounds that shape us. I think all of us need to go into conversations throughout life with a greater understanding that everyone has a journey and the best thing we can do is listen, seek to understand and, of course, serve others freakishly good and always be kind.

I hope you and your family are taking some time this month to learn more stories like Mae’s. Consider checking out The King Center, which showcases some terrific information.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Playing to win

I am a fan of daily devotions. A good friend got me the ‘Awaken’ devotional book from Priscilla Shirer for this year, and I am really liking it. I love practice examples and she offers plenty. In this verse, she focused on the “in such a way,” part: “Read this again and see: the winning is not just in the running. It’s in the WAY the RACE IS RUN.”

It’s Superbowl Sunday and the Winter Olympics launch on Thursday. A huge week for sports fan and I am indeed among them. Serious athletes and all of us who strive for excellence in our own “race” must run with endurance and have the discipline needed to anchor our souls and lives to a plan that will help us to do so in the best possible way.

Shirer suggests that we do this by listening and submitting in obedience to God’s word. In other words, to actually seek out his voice through scripture reading and any other way that you can soak it in with today’s many resources.

For this “Simple Thoughts Sunday” I am all in on following his plan to achieve the life of excellence I desire. I hope you will have some time to truly enjoy the big game today and will celebrate the athletes who have indeed put in the effort to WIN later this week with the rest of the world.

I can’t wait to spend some time this week diving into the insights of Olympics past and present. It will be FUN!

2017, The final review: Books I loved

Reading — and continuous learning in general, really — is among the top three things we can do to grow personally, if you ask me.

I realized I wrapped up 2017 without my final reading list, so I thought today would be a great day to get this on the record. In fact, as February kicks off, I hope you will find one that interests you enough to grab a copy on Amazon or your local bookstore.

With the temperatures still hovering around freezing, it’s the perfect time to shut off the television and jump into learning! (For many, it’s getting lost in a fictional story. I seem to prefer nonfiction. Whatever you fancy, the practice expands your mind, imagination and thinking so go for what you love.)

Here are some thoughts on a few books that I loved in particular, but my full reading list from May through December is at the end:

Higher is Waiting, Tyler Perry

  • Why I loved it: Frankly I just love Tyler Perry (AKA Madea), so it didn’t matter what it was — I knew I’d probably like it. The thing is, his book is pure gold. This is where I got the idea from a December blog to ask those you love to write you a letter versus giving a gift. I did this and my boys and my mom wrote me the most wonderful, personal letters. I will cherish them forever and make this an annual practice. Books like this provide us those “gems” that enrich our lives.

Side Hustle, Chris Guillebeau

  • Why I loved it: Our current economy is sometimes referred to as the “gig” economy. What this means is that many people have made it a practice to have many “side” streams of income coming in. Chris promises to go from an idea to income in 27 days. This is a simple and practical little book that highlights ideas and stories that just might be a game changer for you.

A Resilient Life, Gordon MacDonald

  • Why I loved it: First of all, let’s just say that I really loved it! I have gifted it multiple times now and paid my boys to read this one. If they soak up even a part of it, their lives will change in the best possible ways. The book is older and full of wisdom. It is a Christian perspective on business and life. Some of the ideas that got me thinking: Who stretches your mind? Who listens to and encourages your dreams? When forming your group of close friends, you might ask: Who will protect you? Those alone are worth the price of the book and that is just a glimpse. If you only pick up one of these, pick this.

Whisper, Mark Batterson

  • Why I loved it: Mark is my very favorite Christian author. His book the Circle Maker is another I gift often. Mark’s books are full of stories, science and studies that compel you to be better and stronger. This book is about hearing from God and how we do so. I loved his story about Pure Delight: “Seven times in the book of Genesis, God steps back from the canvas of his creation and admires. It is his reaction and is expressed as “good” which comes from the Hebrew work tob… joy unspeakable. That first emotion sets the tone, sets the bar. God delights in what he does and he wants nothing less for us.”

Of Mess and Moxie, Jen Hatmaker

  • Why I loved it: Jen is hilarious and inspiring. She captures motherhood — and she has her hands full to say the least, so she knows the job well. One of my favorite quotes in the book she attributed to Brennan Manning: “Many people between the ages of 30 and 60, whatever their stature in the community and whatever their personal achievements, undergo what can truly be called a second journey. The second journey begins when we know we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the morning program.” It’s good.

Unscripted, Ernie Johnson Jr.

  • Why I loved it: This one is especially for the men but good for everyone. I pick up books like this so I can better understand my boys. Ernie is a long-time NBA commentator and the books takes us through his journey, including a fierce battle with cancer. I loved this concept: “God has given us many moments that blessed us and blessed those who seek them. I call those blackberries (blackberry moments). If get get too tied up in what we’re doing in our jobs, in the game, in whatever it is, we miss them, and when we do, we’re missing out on so much.”

Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes

  • Why I loved it: I heard 100 times how great this was before I picked it up. It IS that good. Go get this one for sure. It’s fun, useful and is exactly what the title says about making a decision to get out and say yes to things, including and especially those that scared Shonda.

Braving the Wilderness, Brene Brown

  • Why I loved it: Another amazing work from Brene who has blessed us with game-changing TED Talk, “The Power of Vulnerability,” and three other terrific books. Brene is a research professor at the University of Houston and lives out a life of impact. She covers why joy and pain are collective journeys, including the need to “show up” to experience these with those you love and why it is so powerful. So many good concepts that you really should read the book.

She’s Still There, Chrystal Evans Hurst

  • Why I loved it: I think this is her first book. She comes from a family of writers and musicians. I have to say, this was an amazing read. She could have titled it different, but it is full of great insights and inspiration. One idea I noted and love, “Schedule celebration moments monthly.” Love that.

Quiet, Susan Cain

  • Why I loved it: There is a reason this book has earned so much notoriety. It’s one about introverts, and as someone who is just over the edge into being an extrovert, I adored this book and the science and thinking behind the work. This should be a must-read for anyone who works with people, including parents. One of the thoughts: “One genuine relationship is worth a fistful of business cards.” True, true and true!

Black Privilege, Charlamagne tha God

  • Why I loved it: I loved it because it is SO out of my normal category of books. The language and approach aren’t quite my cup of tea but, we MUST learn and grow by understanding others and this is a great way to do it. Charlamagne is a popular co-host on the nationally syndicated hip-hop iHeart Radio program the Breakfast Club, and a featured television personality. He tells his story in a way that makes you feel like you were a part of it. His quote: “If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this book, it’s that privilege is something that everyone can access.” It’s worth your time.

Tribe of Mentors, Tim Ferris

  • Why I loved it:  Tim Ferris may be my favorite author at the moment. Last year he wrote Tools of Titans and his famous 4-hour work week, that he wrote a few years ago, are both best sellers. This book is essentially “short life advice” from who he considers some top contemporary influencers in our society today. It’s easy to read and full of wonderful ideas. He asks the same series of questions to these influencers and showcases their answers. My favorite question was: “What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about how to enter the “real world?” With 200 answers to this, I think I sent 50 to my boys… Brilliant format and a must-read.

Let me know if you end of reading any of these. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: GROWTH

I love things that inspire me; especially those that catch me off guard.

Chris Hodges is an author and pastor I follow from Birmingham (shout out to my BAMA friends Nan and Jan).

I have shared before that I do an annual spiritual fast, called the “Daniel Fast.” I do it the first 21 days of each year. Coupled with a better diet, I also give up the unhealthy surfing of social media channels and most TV. (I still use Twitter and Linked in for work, and admittedly still watch ‘This is Us,’ because I just can’t not watch.)

It’s amazing how much time is freed up. Also, how your focus returns to where it really should be all year long. Chris’s church, Highlands, is also doing the “Daniel Fast.” They add 21 days of prayer, and actually have a 6 a.m. weekday service that focused on great worship music and a 5-minute message before a prayer service. They posted about it online, and I was blown away by the message earlier this week on growth, and the reference to Luke 2:52.

I pray this scripture over my boys frequently and have since they were young men. I had not really given it much thought in terms of my own personal growth. Hello light bulb moment. We are all growing, whether we are 2-years-old or 92-years-old. Always learning, always looking to go deeper, share more, serve better…

Chris’s word for the year is GROWTH. (More on the word-of-the-year concept here, in case you missed it.) I think he may be a few years older than me, but I love that idea and thought you might as well.

I am praying this scripture over all of us today. May we achieve all that we were destined to in order to serve our FULL PURPOSE in this life. We will talk this week about growth in general, and some leadership insights I hope will help you continue to build momentum!

Rules for excellence…

If you don’t know the leadership guru of all gurus, Tom Peters, look him up. He is well into his 70s and still pushing out amazing content. I love that.

He’s most famous for co-authoring ‘In Search of Excellence,’ but his credits go far beyond that classic. I have found his book ‘The little BIG things, is probably the best I’ve read in years. In it, he outlines 163 ways to pursue excellence and most of them are brilliant. (I’m sure all are to some.) The quotes in the attached image come from this read. He wisely credits other great thinkers, including the everyday types, like lessons from the local barista.

I knew for sure when I read #62 (above) on his list that I had to share it with you.

If I were Rosesblatt (author of “Rules for Aging”), I would say that these are great suggestions for all of us. Wisely seeking good counsel and, for that matter, a wide array of viewpoints, is always something that can help us improve. I believe this is true whether you’re dealing with basic home matters, finances or, of course, fulfilling your purpose in work/school/where ever God planted you. LOVE IT.

Is there an issue right now where you could use some counsel? Someone to listen and give you a perspective? We should all seek that out this week. (Make a note now to do it… that’s what I have to do!)

The second suggestion on thanking others early and often – and even profusely – was the point of Tuesday’s “Spread Joy” blog. We cannot underestimate the power of encouraging one another.

WE MUST MAKE THIS A PRIORITY if we want to SERVE WELL!

Minimalism 2.0: A resource guide to “less stuff, more joy”

Today, I thought it may be best to share some additional resources for you on the topic. I am in the same category as most of you, an “active and willing learner.” I always appreciate where I can hear from the experts.

On that note, below are a few links and books I hope you find helpful as you consider whether and how you could move toward the idea of “less stuff, more joy.”

The Joy of Less,  Francine Jay

Simplify, Joshua Becker

The Power of Less, Leo Babauta

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo (I have read this one, and LOVED IT… Super short and easy to read for those who don’t like reading so much, or simply can’t find the time.)

The Practical Minimalist: How I simplified by life, retired early and pursued my dreams, Jessica Wonderful

The Minimalists

Zen Habits

Minimal is Simple

Everyday Minimalist

I leave you this week with a quote that reminds us why this is an important conversation:

“Simplicity is about SUBTRACTING the obvious and ADDING the MEANINGFUL.” – John Maeda

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Simplicity — getting to minimalism

(Photo creds: Canva)

I have a good friend and reader of this blog who has claimed her word of the year to be “minimalism.”

I absolutely love that and know that it is trending right now if you follow many of the self-help leaders that flood social media. She was concerned about adding it to the “One Word” post, because she is self-proclaimed, “the very worst” at being anything close to a minimalist. She was concerned those who know her would roll their eyes. I told her her journey is actually really relatable, and people will probably want to join, myself included. I’m not sure I know anyone who lives or works with me that couldn’t stand to simplify spending and life just a bit.

The messaging onslaught of what we “need” to buy, what will “change our lives” and, of course, what “we deserve” have created a level of chaos in our purchasing decisions more so than what any of us would like to admit. We may not be out there buying Louis Vuitton bags and extravagant jewelry, but the $15-20 t-shirts add up. If you think about it long enough, it gives you that uneasy feeling that I call “buying fatigue.”

How much is enough? I heard a message a several years ago at Pine Cove camps, when they asked us to remember that “to choose to spend on one thing, is to choose to not spend on something else.” That has stuck with me, though I still stray from it from time to time. I am human, after all.

If you really think about it, it’s a great question when deciding on something: Is there some place we could spend that money where it would be better served? Our health? Our savings or retirement? Career growth, reading, education, etc.? Or perhaps even a nonprofit could use that in a much greater way?

At any rate, we are going to hit the topic of minimalism this week and some strategies for simplifying our lives. As the scripture so well points out… it’s not like we are taking it with us. There are so many things that cause deep joy and the last time I checked, some of the frivolous spending I’ve done doesn’t meet that definition. I hope you will join me for the conversation.

It’s that time of year…What is your one word?

It’s that time of year! I introduced this concept on the blog two years ago after having done it for a few years on my own.

I love this idea so much that it has great meaning to me. The stories I’ve heard have been equally cool. Many of you shared your words with me, and even yesterday someone already shared their word for 2018. I love it! Some of the words shared in past years have been:

Curiosity

Joy

Committed

Amplify

Discipline

Enough

Trust

Fun

Accelerate

Focus

My word this year has been “significance” or “stretch.” Reaching a level of “true” significance. Digging deeper into how to best use my gifts and skills in every area of my life. Honestly, I would say in retrospect it was way more of a “stretch” year than I imagined when I wrote this. In fact, I’m quite sure I’m still in that mode, trying to unwind that stretch a bit. I believe that I am always moving toward using these gifts, and that is something to celebrate.

Many ask how I come up with the “one word.” I start with praying that God will give me the word that I should focus on. As you all know, I read a lot. I will often see themes pop up and that guide me to my word. For this year, going into the last few days I believe I have been given the word “revival.”

There is a passionate, wise teacher I like named Dharius Daniels. He gave a sermon about revival as a “season or space of reintroduction.” God introduces himself again, exposes you more to your next assignment and gives you the insights needed to conquer that level, so to speak. That resonated with me. I’d like a REINTRODUCTION please! (We just saw Jumanji as a family on Christmas, so “levels” of the game are on my mind. Go see it if you want something fun and clever that requires no thinking.)  

As I shared last year, life is an incredible journey. One thing I know for sure after nearly five decades  is that we do not know day to day where the road may take us. So we do what we can, living with intention and moving toward what we believe will create the most fulfilled and well-lived life.

So, what is your word? Please share!

*For those who want to go deeper, there is actually a website where a community of people share their words, stories etc.

Time to DOWN SHIFT!

It’s that time of year when work winds down and we shift — as in “DOWN SHIFT” — our FOCUS to our friends and family. (Thank you Mic Johnson, @mictastic, for the term.) 

I know many of you are still working through this week, and I hope you are able to take some time off during these next couple of weeks. We are in a society of constant connectedness, and our brains need to be able to shut down & reboot so that we can CREATE MAGIC IN 2018!

Whether your thing is taking in the new Star Wars movie, doing absolutely nothing and sitting by the fire, binging on your latest Netflix fav, getting a pedicure with your girls or reading some great books, do whatever fulfills you! Research shows that our brains need a break!

“Push yourself through too many hours or days of work and your brain starts to push back. Ideas that once flowed easily dry up, and tasks that you should be able to perform quickly become excruciatingly difficult,” according to Scientific American.

I personally don’t need too much convincing. My mind and body begs for me to take a break! I will be taking off Sunday and Tuesday from the blog, but please know I wish you the very best and am praying for each of you to be filled with the all the peace and joy the season can offer!

Why we MUST build energy, perspective and immunity

Constant growth is what makes us who we were designed to be. Three thoughts for you today.

We must BUILD ENERGY: Be it physical energy or mental energy, we simply must be working on our health game. Even Instagram is a showcase of opinions, thrashing politics and personal agendas… (Aside: Please make it go back to a place for cool pictures and powerful messages!) Staying on top of this is a must have if you are to maintain a healthy mindset. Be thinking about BUILDING ENERGY!

We must BUILD PERSPECTIVE: Your perspective determines your ability to perceive opportunities, pursue optimism and to embrace chaos. Focusing on your perspective — what you know to be true — is a game changer. When problems arise, it’s our perspective that allows us to move to the other side and deal with it in a way that encourages and helps us and others grow. How is your perspective?

We must BUILD IMMUNITY: This one was a wild card, but it was top-of-mind so I had to include it. My point here is immunity against anything that has the ability to alter our days and our minds. Anything that can get us off track. As with sickness (those ugly winter colds going around), the world can get to us. People — even our families — may say something that can shift our mood in seconds. Build IMMUNITY against that.

At the end of the day, life is too short to get our feelings hurt easily and we can decide up front that we are not going to be distracted from joy.

Have the most amazing weekend.