To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Inspiration

A Summer Series: Re-centering on what’s important

One of life’s greatest pleasures for me is reading a book that makes me a better person. Sometimes it takes my mind on a journey that is new and different, but most often, it’s nonfiction for me that helps me more clearly understand both the simplicity and the complexity of our lives.

Shauna Niequist’s latest, “I guess I haven’t learned that yet,” delivers on all things making us better in pretty much every chapter. She, like many of us (okay…probably all of us) found her life disrupted in an unexpected chapter of their lives after moving from the Midwest to New York City. The depth and vulnerability she shares about all manner of issues, including new & old friendships, menopause, marriage, trying to be a great mom and all of the things that come as we grow and age is just what I needed. I think you might love it too!

As we are in this “Summer Series” topic of re-centering, I particularly loved her thoughts on finding inspiration… all in a chapter titled, “Put Yourself in the Path.” How on point is that?

“There’ a myth that (inspiration) is mercurial and wispy, that it’s floaty and unpredictable and you just cross your fingers and hope it lands on you at the right time. ‘Not true!’ Inspiration is my responsibility. It doesn’t strike like lightning. You can’t manhandle it or make demands of it, but you can put yourself in the path of it. You make yourself available to it.”

To me, one of the best products of re-centering is that inspiration…creativity and clarity often emerge! How can you put yourself in the path over the next several weeks? Can you make time to seek out nature? To watch the hummingbirds living their best lives, or stare up at the magnificence of an old tree? To stroll through a farmer’s market and ruminate on the lives of those who are literally sowing seeds and putting in the hours to ensure we have fresh produce? To find a nearby lake to simply stare and find your mind freeing up space? Can you coordinate an ice cream date with a friend or family member or grab a box of popsicles to share? Can you grab a glass jar and go find some fire flies to spark your inner child? Can you find a cool art gallery to get lost in?

What are some other ideas? I know everyone would love to hear them! I have some friends who recently went on cruises by themselves … What a brave and amazing thing to do! The one posted a pic on a hammock outside of her seaside room. How cool is that? Hearing all of the ideas alone inspires me!

Shauna continues in that same chapter, “What I’m learning is that in the same way we put ourselves in the path of inspiration, we also put ourselves in the path of joy…and sometimes frankly, it takes a little muscle… I no longer wait for joy to rise up unbidden, I put myself in her path every chance I get.” That resonates and is a wonderful reminder and challenge for us all.

Here’s to a summer of fresh thinking and renewed souls. I’m praying and cheering for you all!

A Summer Series: Re-centering on what’s important

I am writing this on Sunday and it’s my mom’s birthday! Yay for 79th birthdays. Yay for life. As many of you who read this know, life is fragile… as in we or our loves ones can be living our best lives one moment and the next. Celebrations of all kinds are the very best parts of life; as is ensuring we are centered enough to devote our limited energy to what truly is important.

One of scriptures I’ve thought through often over the years references Jesus, “withdrawing to the mountain alone.” There are times he went with his disciples and times alone. I can resonate with that. At times, being alone seems crucial. And at times, I need to be surrounded by my best girlfriends (and of course my boys at other times!). The Bible references stories of him being among the “multitudes,” and then the need to remove himself to seek re-centering. I personally have always been more likely to want to “withdraw” to the water, and long walks on country roads or a wooded trail. Regardless, I envision Jesus resting in a cabin wherever he is, journaling, walking, napping, breathing deeply… all with an intentional focus on drawing himself closer to what he might hear from God. An attempt to find wisdom, to discern his next steps and to restore his soul so that he could engage fully.

This summer is different for me personally, so I don’t have any plans yet for a “cabin” retreat. I am in transition from KC to Arizona and my frequent travel is to make it back to see the fam. For 13 years, we went to a family camp, Pine Cove, in the beautiful Texas pines, and my heart and mind were always reinvigorated in the absolutely best way.

As I write this, I am realizing that this re-centering just has to happen, even this year, and probably, ESPECIALLY this year. When life get’s a bit crazier than we hope, we likely should double down on the recenter and restore playbook. My advice to my younger self, as well as all of those out there that may need it, is to absolutely commit yourself to this practice in your life. Stop what you are doing and create a retreat – any space that serves the purpose of restoration.

If you have favorite practices in this category of “re-centering” please send them my way and I’ll post out over the summer! I’ll be praying for all of you! Prayers for all good things… for just enough sunshine, ice cream cones, watermelon, fireflies, afternoon naps… and love overflowing.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Boundaries are cool

Lysa Terkeurst spoke Thursday evening at an event I went to and shared a bit about a book she is working on right now. Lysa is the author of several books, but my favorite (and to me a must-read for all), is “The Best Yes.” It is always relevant for me and I think for most people.

She shared that she is working on the topic of “boundaries.” At first I thought, “I’m glad to be here, but that doesn’t really apply to me,” but when she shared the thought above I had to re-think my position. “Who HAVE I given level 10 access to who perhaps hasn’t even earned level 3? Who has access to my full energy and passion and does it even make sense?” (Especially in context of the information overload most of us have these days and the need to protect our energy and focus.)

So, whether it’s your boss, parents, siblings, in-laws, friends… who or perhaps even what have you given “level 10 access” to in your thoughts and/or actions? Level 10 as in the ability to take over your thoughts and drives your actions. Is there anyone or anything, that has this high access, but honestly they don’t deserve it? For one reason or another, they haven’t earned your full trust, or perhaps, their actions haven’t lined up as someone that always has your best interests at heart and aligns with your values and the legacy you hope to leave during your life.

To me, of her examples, the workplace experiences resonate the most. I can think of times in my life when I gave an inappropriate amount of mind and heart power to someone who frankly hadn’t earned it whatsoever. All in some type of ego-driven need to get approval. Why in the world do we do this? (Of course the harder ones are family. We automatically often give our family level 10, when (I can speak personally) that not in all seasons do even they deserve this level…)

I was thankful that in a room of over 2,000 women (and maybe a handful of men), Lysa spoke often of the importance of good counsel, friends and professional therapy when needed. The need to normalize mental health and the truth that every single one of us at one time or another need someone other than ourselves to navigate life was and is a needed and clear message. My guess is that her new work on healthy boundaries will be a best seller, as no matter what generation we find ourselves in, we can all use fresh thinking such as this on developing our best selves.

I can assure you that I will make it a practice now when I find myself overthinking a conversation or letting my mind otherwise go down a discontented path, to consider if whoever is bringing me to this place should indeed have this level of access. If I’m honest, I think I just might find some of these thoughts to not be worth my energy and that my level of “response” so to speak, should be at a much lower level due to the source. Here’s to more strong boundaries… higher energy, better relationships and living out our purpose with grace and badassery.

Have the best week ahead!

Life: Gear changes, adapting and new rhythms…

What a wonderful read. Tunde Oyeneyin was a new instructor at Peloton right around the start of the pandemic. I have my favorite for sure, but Tunde is a nice change up and her bold presence resonates when I need a bit more than a push. I didn’t know her story, but I certainly knew that her youthful spirit brought a bit of spice and that she’s definitely a fire starter & thought provoker. She released her first book, ‘Speak,’ recently. It is sooo good! Trust me, it’s an easy read that offers something universally impactful on every page. And if you don’t really care about all of that, the book just down right looks great. The cover is FANTASTIC! I’d definitely recommend you add it to your summer lake, beach, mountain… or backyard reading list.

Now, let’s dive a bit into the quote above. Tunde happens to be talking about the unexpected deaths of her brother and mom & dad in this context. Throughout the book, she also covers her life experience in education, race and culture, adjusting to new cities, relationships, health/weight challenges, and career changes… effortlessly moving from one very real topic to the next.

The quote above is just flat out the truth. We face all manner of “gear” changes. (My memory of gears is getting my bell bottom jeans caught in them and finding myself with skinned knees. Anyone else?) We often find ourselves having to work through the challenge… questioning whether or not the bike is going to self correct, or if we are the ones who need to make an adjustment. All being real possibilities, including getting stuck and falling face down… or the alternative, pushing through and watching the bike adjust and power through.

I happen to like the idea of “rhythms.” I find myself trying to find the new one in each chapter and season of my life. With fits and starts, I always pray that I will find myself locking in and adapting. Somehow, I always have… I suppose we are all naturally resilient in that way. It’s definitely not at all always easy to find, but there truly is not many better feelings to me than the wind in my hair as the bicycle finds the natural stride of the terrain… movement is indeed medicine. Here’s to a season of honoring where we find ourselves and rocking it to the crazy beautiful rhythm of life.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Look back at the evidence. Pursing a lifetime of celebrations.

It was truly wonderful to be at my son Sam’s law school graduation this week. Nineteen years of school and he’s now achieved the goal he set for himself as a young boy. Our lives are made of our hopes and dreams, and in the process we are exposed to all manner of people, thoughts, experiences, fears and even magical moments that fill the gaps on the way there. 

I love graduations because they force us to reflect. They force us to hold the weight of what we or a loved one has accomplished. As we wait for the graduates to march in, listen to voices of those who have shared this journey, as a teacher, mentor or peer… and finally watch them boldly take the stage to physically accept their diploma, our minds have the opportunity to process the significance of the moment.

One of the speakers used the thought above in his words to the graduates: “Look back at the evidence.” He went on to talk how the process of law school had “unearthed capacities” they didn’t know they had. I liked that. It seems life is always “unearthing” capacities we have no idea we can achieve. How cool! This narrative points us to how important it is to consider where we have walked and how our day to day small actions add up and ultimately curate the story of our lives.  Look back at the evidence of your life and revel in where you are today.  

Pursuing celebrations early and often has almost always been a life mantra of mine. I’m thankful for this week’s reminder. It’s spring, graduation season and the ideal time to absorb, reflect and yep… celebrate. Cheers to anyone who is a graduate or who may be celebrating someone they love this month. May those moments be held tightly and honored as they well should be.  

Simple Thoughts Sunday: What are your non-negotiables?

What brings you to full life? As in vitality, thriving and growing?

There is a business phrase we use a lot, “what is the minimally viable product/service (aka MVP) at this point in time?” That got me thinking: We all have to know what this is for us in our personal lives as well. What are we not willing to settle for? What are the minimum requirements we have put in place? Our personal non-negotiables…

  • Eight hours of sleep every night? Is that even possible? (Shout out to folks in my age range who just may be living through a season of sleeplessness… hormones and all of that jazz!)
  • Daily movement? What does that look like? Walking the dog? A 20-minute walk each day? (My latest is a 2-mile morning walk. I remember my grandparents did a 2-mile walk each day and that seems wise.)
  • Connection with friends or family? Calling mom or dad if you are lucky enough to have them still once a week or…?

Others streaming to the top of my mind…

  • Being rooted in my faith
  • Being mindful of saving enough for retirement
  • Being as healthy as possible so that I can hike, play, etc. with my future grandchildren.
  • Ensuring I have an activity creativity outlet – writing, sculpting etc.
  • Curating my schedule to allow for “white space” for my reading or doing nothing at all…

What are yours?

I read an article this week about how short life is. This one, by Robin Sharma, talked about how, at roughly 50 years old, you have about 25 Christmas’s left. That’s 25 opportunities to sit around the table with loved ones, 25 more Valentine’s Days to dote on your special love(s), 25 more 4th of Julys to watch the sky light up in celebration. Heck, we have more than 25 days in a single month and that doesn’t seem at all enough time to look in the eyes of those I hold near and dear.

Regardless of what time we think we have left in this world, each day is a gift and we have the power to outline our non-negotiables and act on them daily. There is proven strength in writing down our goals and so I hope some of you may find this a worthy exercise this week. There is no better time than the present to call out to the world the beautiful life you desire.

‘Tis the Season… Energy rising, building momentum and a “should” detox.

Who is so thankful for Spring? It somehow seems magical when the weather is “just perfect” or at least “near perfect” and you can put on your tennis shoes and get a walk in… You can almost feel the momentum of your energy building. The impact of getting outside and taking in nature is so important to our overall health and wellness that when the conditions make that possible, we should take the hint and get moving.

As many of you know, I am a Peloton fan, and specifically that of Robin Arzon. I find her to be just what I need with a balance of motivation, real talk and a bit more than a gentle push… all in the spirit of helping us achieve whatever is best for us. That’s important because she readily acknowledges that all levels and all seasons of life are represented in her virtual classes, and often encourages modification. Somehow I think it is really important that all of us know that in life – whether it’s in fitness, food, mental wellness, spiritual, financial…or “name a segment of life” – modification is important. Sure, I know personally that I need pushed out of my comfort zone, but overall, if I am going to sustain pretty much anything, I need to fully be able to “modify” without feeling bad, weak, or anything that’s not supportive (or else… I’ll just stop… anyone else?).

In a class I took last week, Robin shared that she was going on a “should detox.” How awesome is that? Simply, replace “should” with “can!” As in, replace “I should have had a salad, but the pasta on the menu is what they are known for, so I really just had to…” with “I can have the pasta, but it’s not in alignment with where I want to be right now in my physical health, so I am going to choose the salad.” Okay, so that was too easy, but you get the point.

Who wants to see their ENERGY RISE even higher this Spring? I am at the front of the line. Along with the beautiful Spring days and the endless opportunities we have to step into our power through healthy decisions… for example, the “should detox,”… we have all we need to get moving and inspire ourselves and each other to action. I’d love to hear your tips… I know my friend Michelle would say “play Pickle Ball as much as possible,” and Anaxis would say, “increase your water.” I could go on! It’s energizing to share ideas on a topic that brings us so much good. Perhaps this week, our goal could be to start our conversations by asking for others to share their tips. In doing so, we can literally raise the ENERGY and VIBRATION of the environment around us!

Have an incredible week my friends!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Small daily turns determine our destination

The story line of how there is great power in being one degree off of “the” course continues to pop up in my reading. Here’s one that is really clear:

“In 1979, a passenger jet carrying 257 people left New Zealand for a sightseeing flight. Unknown to the pilots, there was a minor 2 degree error in the flight coordinates. This placed the aircraft 28 miles to the East of where the pilots thought they were. As they approached their destination, the pilots descended to a lower altitude to give the passengers a better look of the landscape. (Antartica…sounds pretty cool to me.) Although both were experienced pilots, neither had made this journey before and had no correct way of knowing that the incorrect coordinates had placed them directly in the path of Mount Erebus, an active volcano that rises from the frozen landscape to a height of more than 12,000 ft. Sadly, the plane crashed into the side of the volcano, killing everyone on board. It was a tragedy brought on by a minor error – a matter of only a few degrees.

Experts in air navigation have a rule of thumb known as the 1 and 60 rule. It states that for every 1 degree a plane veers off course, it misses its target destination by 1 mile for every 60 you fly. It may not sound like a lot, but as you saw above, the accumulated small error had tremendous impact.

One… two… three degree errors in our lives have the same impact. That is why I often find myself writing about course corrections, living lives of intention, etc. The great truth is that we can generally make “in-flight” adjustments, and I am thankful for that!

Through the Easter season, I read Ann Voskamp’s latest, “The Waymaker.” This theme seemed to carry this thought circuit of the influence our small habits and daily rituals have over time. One personal example I have found to be true is my morning routine. When you think about what makes a great day (which turns into a great week, etc.), can you identify what made it so? For me, it’s rooted in a fairly early wake up call after at least 8 hours of sleep, some type of brisk activity/walk/bike, etc. and time to cook up a couple of eggs, cut an avocado and spend 15-20 minutes in some type of devotional reading.

Here’s the thing: I find myself getting “off course” on that often. It’s quite simple and yet I see the impact when I get off course by a degree or two. How about you? Does this resonate?

I’d love to talk healthy rhythms. What are those that best support us during this season and how can we be more likely to stay committed and less likely to veer off course? Fewer course corrections please! I found Ann’s thoughts on habits a bit searing actually… “Habits are the way we dress in our deepest desires, and our daily rhythms reveal our truest romances. A habit of turning to Facebook before opening the Word… of being more consumed with news than the Good News, of turning to Hollywood’s stories to understand our own holy story, instead of staying in His Story…” While I wouldn’t readily admit – nor do I truly believe – that is wholesale truth for me, it must have something that I need to meditate on a bit and address. One thing I know for sure on this topic, is that I desire to live a life advancing good and to do that, I need to stay on course. I am so thankful to have this tribe to help me to do just that!

Have a wonderful week! A special thanks to my dearest friend Debbie, who asked me about my writing the other day. Writing is a really important “rhythm” for me, and she knew that although we have never really talked about it. I am in the middle of a relocation and also – that fun menopause mid life phase – and all in I’ve been a little off my game in this area. Friends, it’s important to encourage one another and I am so grateful to be writing again today thanks to Deb.

All kinds of powerful truth here: “I am not allowed to leave out of fear.”

‘Between Two Kingdoms,’ the absolutely astounding memoir of Suleika Jaouad, has too many profound thoughts to process probably in several lifetimes; however, the one above is all kinds of powerful. Her book is within the storyline of a cancer diagnosis in her early 20s that somehow seems to traverse through so many of the themes of our lives – those who have experienced great physical loss and those whose loss has come in other ways. There is so much magic in the beauty of her writing…it is like none other I have read. Her diagnosis, leaving her with clear wisdom and a desire to share it with the world. We all are so much better for it. (Just a reminder, that sharing your story is one of the most charitable and important things you can do in your lifetime. It is how we all rise above our tides… shared humanity. Please share yours!)

“…But I force myself to live by a rule: I am not allowed to leave out of fear.” … (In this case, she is on a solo road trip, a 100 day one.. trying to find herself after a long journey of one health crisis after another.)

The mind runs through so many possible scenarios here where leaving out of fear seems like a reasonable plan…

A tough physical challenge (and to be honest, sometimes even a harder than normal bike ride.)

A challenging season in a relationship… or better yet… entering a new “room” or relationship

Addressing optimal health & happiness (I know friends who won’t get a physical, colonoscopy, mammogram… see a therapist… all because of fear)

As you can see, I sometimes change out the word “leave” for “act” but in all cases, it is the same. Human nature is to run from what is not comfortable… to relieve ourselves of the perceived pain of hard conversations and pushing ourselves beyond what our simple minds believe we can achieve. We can often do so much more. Fear is the queen of lies, and often what holds us back from the best parts of growth and life.

It’s totally normal, and yet, we have to continue “moving” as my grandmother would say. Keep moving. Keep forging ahead. DO NOT LET YOURSELF LEAVE BECAUSE OF FEAR… A phrase I am going to tattoo in my mind. A real one isn’t a bad idea. I wish I had this truth much earlier in my life. I’m writing this for that reason. I am hopeful some younger folks as well might commit to this BOLD DECISION. What areas of your life do you find yourself having that urge to run? To get the heck out of dodge? To find a calmer pasture? When you feel that, consider making a commitment to yourself to be sure it is not due to a fear that you can possibly work through and perhaps be much stronger for on the other side. One breath and one step at a time.

Here’s to a strong week … a strong year… a strong LIFE. I am cheering you all on!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The strength of your life will depend on your decision to abide.

Abide: To stay, to uphold, to hold to… keep to.. stick to… ABIDE

What a powerful word. I love it when a strong word hits so hard that it stays with me. It’s not like I didn’t know the word, but when said in a certain way, or perhaps at a particular time, it just settles deep. Where does your mind go when you hear the phrase, ” The strength of my life will depend on your decision to abide?” So much to unpack…

First of all, “The strength of my life…” What is the strength of my life right now? Is it strong? Is it producing the results I want and believe I’m called to? Am I striving in this moment or am I complacent? What defines strong for you? There is no wrong answer. It’s a worthy question.

Next, “will depend on my decision to abide.” Why abide? Why stay focused? In this reference, abiding is all about staying close to God…to ensure we are consistent in our pursuit through whatever means necessary. It might be writing, praying, reading the scripture, positioning ourselves around other spirit-led people, attending a place of worship, and yes, even hiking in this beautiful world God created. What brings you close? What helps you abide? I find God in so many places and conversations. For me, I have found it is about making the decision to look for His guidance literally anywhere… an elevator conversation or witnessing a beautiful sunset are sometimes the most significant. For me, this part is all about making the DECISION and being committed. As with many parts of life, we make it harder than it needs to be… simply… make the decision and commit.

As we are in mid-January, the days and nights are colder and darker, and this seems like a truly ideal time to reflect on just how we can strengthen our lives. The thought of staying close to the fire and to God is a truly beautiful thought. I’m praying for you all to seize this moment and pursue decisions that brings you toward your best self.