To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Honor

47 Days: A plan to finish the year strong

47 Days. That’s the magic number until the page turns again. This one into a year of great expectation –– 2021. But a lot can happen in 47 days to make this one count even more so we should be alert. Each and every day is a gift, as we have learned this year.

During one of my Peloton bike rides this week, Alex Toussaint –– who I think is a flat-out amazing instructor due to his outrageous ability to encourage –– cited the phrase in the photo above…

My thought: Let’s find it… (rhythm, groove and pace). Let’s find it today and let’s recommit to it everyday… Let’s countdown the next 47 days by listening to every bit of uplifting music and reading and watching only what positions us for positive and forward momentum. Let’s focus our last thoughts and actions each day with a focus toward building the energy all around us.

This post is for Sunday and as I often like to do as a grounding exercise, I turn to the scripture for guidance and seeking wisdom or discernment. Throughout the last few weeks, the recurring message is two-fold. The first is on the need to serve those in need. To turn any attention from my own personal challenges and those the world imposes, to the real needs that literally surround me. “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,” (Matthew 25:35)

Let’s expand that … “For I was sad, For I was anxious, for I was overwhelmed…” You get the idea. These words are a call for us to look up and to see that no matter if it’s a smile, a kind word, physical help or sharing our resources…there is a need at every corner, and we are just the people to do that.

The second message has been the initial focus of this blog… the need for us all to SHIFT into all that is good and plentiful and brings gratitude. The scripture, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- If anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.” Philippians 4:8) We have 47 days remaining… let’s finish strong, let’s finish with locked arms toward building community and shining light in every dark corner that we approach.

Sending my love and prayers.

(Mom update: She remains under Hospice care at a local nursing home. She is holding her own and we honor each day and trust in knowing that God will carry forward the perfect plan. Your love and prayers have been what has and continues to hold us all up through this season. We are blessed beyond. Thank you.)

Immersing ourselves in all seasons! (Bring on the fall leaves & eventually even the snow!)

There are some seasons of our lives we would rather just skip over. Some actual seasons, such as winter, that we may be compelled to do the same. (I’ll take the first snowfall and then give winter back…).

The idea of not skipping seasons hung with me for a bit, and I thought it may with you as well. I have found, through reflection, that all seasons are important and frequently critical to my personal development and ability to succeed better in the next phase. Whether that growth be emotional, spiritual, financial or professional. If I would have somehow been able to skip them or chose not to grow through and with them, I flat out wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have the inherent wisdom I may have gained, and I certainly couldn’t share it, with the idea of helping others through a similar passage.

I have always believed our lives evolve with an intentional plan. A plan that God put into play when he designed this crazy beautiful (and also, separately, crazy & beautiful) world we live in. I believe we learn best from others sharing their journey and when we live out the seasons head on, taking the good …and the “not so much” as they come. When we commit to continuous growth and learning, we can use the stories and experiences of others – and our own – as arsenal to make for an even better season next time.

So…we are in the middle of fall, (AKA football season, all things apple, pumpkin spice, fires, jeans, flannel and, of course, boots!). I’m not sure where this season finds you in your life, but I hope that you will honor it for all it’s worth. Honor it with gratitude and eyes and ears that are wide open to see and hear where you can serve yourself and others the best. Even when the winter seasons come around – and they always do – we can choose to find joy and embrace whatever it is with the spirit of a child, ready to take it ALL ON! 

*Side note, with fall being a busy season, we are changing up the days we post to Wednesday/Sunday from Tuesday/Thursday/Sunday. I'd love your feedback! It is such a gift to be able to write and hopefully inspire, and I (of course) always want to know how I can do that best for those who take the time to read these short insights!

Memorial Day: A day to honor

Memorial Day is about honor.

As we kick off this week, focused on honoring those who have served our country and lost their lives, I pray that we will all consider the impact this sacrifice has had on our lives. In America, we experience freedom of every possible type. This has come at a price. It will personally be a great joy to lift up to God my many thanks for this gift. My gift in return will be to not only live a life of excellence, but to inspire others to do the same.

Let’s focus this week on honor, because we need to keep it front and center.

Have an amazing long weekend. I pray that you will be refreshed and that a spirit of honor will fill your heart and home.

I want to also take a moment to recognize not only those who have left us through their service to our country, but to all who have gone ahead of us. We are who we are because of their impact on our lives.

(Rewind — this is a throwback post to 2018).

So… What is your super skill?

Okay, so first off… how darling is this little guy? I loved him immediately!

Let’s dive right in. I was listening to a podcast this weekend (Small Changes, Big Shifts), and the guest, Randy Floyd, LSCSW, was sharing that he felt self awareness was the greatest “super skill” to have. How cool is that? I have never really thought about super skills. I guess I didn’t even know that was “a thing.” So, assuming it is, let’s chat about it for a few minutes…

I really like the self awareness perspective. One of the most powerful realities for all of us is to accept that once we really understand something about ourselves –(how and why we react, respond, celebrate, spend time, think about money, etc. )– we then magically become able to process it, as well as make any changes we might like (or need) to in order to reach a better version of ourselves. Sure, it may take some guidance, but once we “know,” we add a great deal of power to our personal growth arsenal. I’m not sure I can or want to challenge that one as the best super skill, but perhaps a good discussion would be interesting.

So… how about the super skills of:

Confidence, courage, bravery or kindness (despite all obstacles). Or how about if your super skill was that of a professional golfer or world class musician? How about a dog or horse whisperer? Goodness – this is kind of fun to think about. This is making me want to have a long list of super skills.

Guess what? That’s quite possible. After all, we get out of life what we claim and go after! Let’s pick a few great ones; a few fun ones. Let’s use the one’s God has gifted us with, and add a few to up our game.

Enjoy the long weekend if you get one! If you are working, we all thank you!

It’s always great to be an American, but it is especially poignant on weekends such as this where we honor those who sacrificed their lives while serving our country in the United States Armed Forces. For all who serve or have served, we pay you the highest honor this weekend and every day of the year.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Paying honor to the many faces of “mom”

There are way too many days to pick just one to honor the moms out there. Alas, today in America we pay a special tribute.

I am incredibly grateful to have my mom still, especially after a tough 2018 with her health. She is strong and courageous, and I hope to celebrate her often!

In today’s blog, though I thought we should look a bit broader.

I love this picture because it reminds me of one of my favorite roles: dog mom! That’s a fun example of one of the many mom roles that happen across our communities. We have the teachers and nurses (A special shout out to both professions that we recognized this week across our country.) who nurture and hold us accountable to grow in knowledge and health. We have the “bonus” moms and grandmothers who didn’t physically carry a child, but who stepped into a role that they embraced daringly… including the perils of flu season, endless sleepless nights and the “know it all” years. (God bless you all!) We have the aunts, the co-workers, the neighborhood moms, and a host of other women who play a big part in helping raise our younger generations. It takes a village, after all.

Today, I hope you will reach out to a few ladies who have helped you out along the way. Perhaps also to someone you know others may not think to honor. I guess I may even have to acknowledge the “cat” moms out there! (Kidding, kidding!)

Have the best week!

A Day of Honor – Veteran’s Day 2018

Today is always one of my favorite days of the year. I don’t think anything captures the heart of America like Veteran’s Day.

The men and women who have served, their families, and the communities that circle around to honor them, all give me pause and the inevitable lump in your throat response. One of the most powerful scriptures says that “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13)

Today, we honor your great sacrifice, your willingness to immerse yourself and your families in what truly is the greatest display of love.

Our country has been built on the backs of men and women who have served with honor. There is no doubt in my mind that this required pushing through fear and all manner of stress as they faced the unknown. That level of commitment and honor for America is why we are all in a free democracy today, in what I believe is and always will be the greatest country in the world. My heart is overflowing with gratitude. I hope that we will all let this day live on day after day as we strive to serve well with love for our country.

A day to honor: Memorial Day

Memorial Day is about honor.

As we kick off this week, focused on honoring those who have served our country and lost their lives, I pray that we will all consider the impact this sacrifice has had on our lives. In America, we experience freedom of every possible type. This has come at a price. It will personally be a great joy to lift up to God my many thanks for this gift. My gift in return will be to not only live a life of excellence, but to inspire others to do the same.

Let’s make this week all about HONOR. One of my favorite discussion topics, because we need to keep it front and center.

Have an amazing long weekend. I pray that you will be refreshed and that a spirit of honor will fill your heart and home.

I want to also take a moment to recognize not only those who have left us through their service to our country, but to all who have gone ahead of us. We are who we are because of their impact on our lives.

(Rewind — this post is adapted from 2016, 2017)

Honoring your children well!

I stand in amazement at how others honor their children so well. Let me first say that honoring can be done in so many ways, and I believe they are all good and necessary. The point today is to lead you all to some folks that do this in ways that astound me, and will spur you onward. I personally love to to learn from others, and these ladies have pushed me along while not knowing it.

Check out these gals if you can; and if not, I have put in a few excerpts below that they recently posted that will offer a flavor of what I believe is pure awesome.

Kira Atkinson-Montuori – Kira always speaks out not only the virtue she sees, but also how her children do this for others. I honestly think without knowing it, she does this instinctively to reward them for being there for others. I love that. What do you want to see more of in your children? Here’s an excerpt from Kira’s Facebook post after her daughter ran the Girls on the Run 5K this weekend:

“She is everything I want to be.

She is determined. She is strong. She believes in herself. She is a goal setter and a goal go getter. And she is kind.

Every picture tells a story. A story about a girl who was excited. nervous. committed to what she wanted. And a girl whose main focus after crossing the line was to go back and congratulate her friends.”

Steph Guerin – This comes from a Facebook post for her son’s birthday (note, it doesn’t have to be her child’s birthday… she does this almost weekly). It’s incredible. Also, please note this is part of a multi-point message, so she really takes the time to honor well. I think that is a key we all need to remember:

“10) You. You, my son are a gift in and of yourself. I love your mind. I love your heart. I love your enthusiasm. I love your determination. I love your desire to win. I love that you would give any friend of yours anything that they wanted. I love your loyalty. I love your secrets. I love your chatter. I love your sense of humor. I love your memory. I love the way you connect things that other people can’t. I love that you get bored with stuff that doesn’t matter- it sucks in 5th grade, but it will serve you well later. I love that you want more than anything to be a good husband and father and that you already have the best taste in girls. I love that you’ve had your career path lined up since you were 5- even though it has changed. I love that you are able to take all the crap the world hands you and say you got it, and now I’m proud you can say you need help. I love that you are an 11 year old boy who can express a full range of emotions. I still wish you’d give me more hugs, but I should give you more, too. We’ll work on that.”

Casi Quinn – Casi does this type of Facebook post often. As parents, expressing our raw hearts is important and yet I find myself not doing it as much as I should – rarely even. Taking the time to point out this level of detail, leaves the family with a connection on how they should live out their lives. The lesson here for me, at the minimum, is that we teach our children how to honor by how we honor:

“Tonight was prom. And as we come to a close on Colton’s Senior year, I am once again reminded that behind every great older brother (in our house) is a younger brother who is equally as great. What memories they have made! How they have cherished one another….

I have watched them build forts, igloos, homemade weapons (In case they were ever stranded out in the wilderness). They have fought together, prayed together, cried together, laughed together – grown up together.

They have been roommates. Teammates. Schoolmates. Partners in crime…they are the epitome of what brothers should be. And I am so proud. So. Dang. Proud.”

Colton Quinn you are an amazing big brother. You are Just. Who. AJ. Needed. No one could have done the job as his big brother better than you. In your outlandish way, you brought out the best of him. You showed him that it was ok to be himself. And when he felt the world was against him, you would lift him up. God knew just what He needed. And AJ Quinn, you have been a silent strength. An unwavering constant that was a safe place for Colton to grow and learn that love doesn’t care about differences. A listener. An encourager. You’ve brought him peace – and balance. What a gift you are to one another!!”

Kira, Steph and Casi: Your words and heart are a profound lesson for us all. THANK YOU!

I hope this post gave you some ideas on how to dig deeper in honoring. No matter what, I hope that all of you will take some time this week to offer up a bit of extra honor to your children, or another loved one that could benefit!

In a world of conflicting opinions, we must get to a place of respect

Our nation was in full ACCELERATE mode this weekend with  “March Madness” games, the youth-led walks across the nation to raise awareness of the desire of “the people” to achieve greater gun control laws, and the celebration of Palm Sunday.

All areas of which there are opposing views. It’s no surprise when I asked one of my dear friends if they had any blog ideas for me, that the immediate response was on how we can best respect differing opinions.

I’m not sure I have any profound thoughts, but my hope would be to get to a better conversation. To truly think through how we honor one another best without allowing our personal opinions to be in overdrive, which often results in the opposite.

Here are my initial thoughts…

  • We must “get to” a point of listening with the intent to understand. This is a call to not listen or simply “hear” with the intent to respond.
  • We must honor where others come from, remembering that just like us, their opinion didn’t come about overnight. They too have come to the conversation with history and perspective that is true to them.
  • We must also be true to our own perspective, and share it when it matters and not be silent. We must share with grace, with subtle power and with love.

There is so much to talk about with this topic, but I believe that if we keep honor in mind first, we can have opposing opinions and continue to push through to a better world for the future generations.

Black History Month series: If you still don’t understand

Here’s the story of Mae Berther Carter, who raised a young family in 1965

That really isn’t that long ago, if you ask me! I think it’s important to put things into perspective.

During 1965, Ms. Carter enrolled 7 of her 13 children (boy, she had to have been busy!) in public schools that were previously reserved only for white students.

Despite people firing bullets into her home, she persisted. Despite being evicted from her home, she persisted. (Does “Nevertheless, she persisted” conversation from last year resonate with anyone else here?)

In 1969, Ms. Carter and her husband won a lawsuit challenging the “freedom of choice” laws. That same year, a court order ended the segregation system in the Drew School District. All 7 of those children later graduated from that school. (No clue what happened to the other six…) It is hard to fathom a school — and for that matter, public or private spaces — being reserved only for certain people. To think that inequality like this ever existed is far from the teaching of most value systems, spiritual and not. (Side note: There is inequality still today in so many areas, which is in a large part what the #MeToo movement is about. I am not so sure our country has advanced as much as it could have.)

At any rate, these stories compel me, as they shrink the topic to a level I can consume.

My mom was 22 years old then, and although she’s aging now, it’s hard to think she walked through this world at the same age my boys are now. That brings it close to home for me. As I shared Tuesday, science shows through epigenetics that those harsh realities impact the generations that followed, including those alive today.

That means someone you sit next to at work or church; someone you watch on television or perhaps in one of the Oscar-nominated films — they’re affected. You see, we all have our story. We all have backgrounds that shape us. I think all of us need to go into conversations throughout life with a greater understanding that everyone has a journey and the best thing we can do is listen, seek to understand and, of course, serve others freakishly good and always be kind.

I hope you and your family are taking some time this month to learn more stories like Mae’s. Consider checking out The King Center, which showcases some terrific information.