To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Guest blog

Guest blog: Finding joy while quarantined alone

(Enjoy today’s guest blog from my girl Ashley Jost, who helps keep the site rolling each week!)

From my first day working from home. Mind you, I sold my dining room set and my desk before moving here in December, so the ottoman doubled as a desk for those first few days. Also, note my exceptionally-needy coworker.

Like many others, I didn’t enjoy quarantine at first, though I knew it was the right thing to do. So much of the useful information I gather at work as a communications director comes from being in the presence of others, picking up on the dynamics, the politics and the opportunities. In the name of public health, I cast my selfish woes aside and hoped for the best.

That was mid March, when the mayor of the City of St. Louis announced the quarantine.

Hindsight is 20/20, and I have to admit I probably wasted those first few days – heck, maybe weeks – wallowing. I have friends who are quarantined with family, flooding social media with photos of board games and movie nights. Others are cooped up with spouses/partners, sharing pics of their sourdough starters and renovation projects.

At the time, watching everyone else’s highlight reel, I felt even more alone than I already was in my 650-square foot apartment. I moved here in December, started a new job in January and was still maneuvering my role in this new chapter. What a rush to put all of that progress I had made understanding the culture and relationship building on hold.

There wasn’t really a single moment I can point to as a turning point from the last six weeks. Perhaps it happened gradually. I started to re-create habits I had let go of over time, like reading 10 pages of a professional development book, and spending 15 minutes journaling – every day.

Then the walks started. I’m fortunate enough to be in a neighborhood where I can safely walk and avoid contact with others. I’d walk before my workday began and catch up on old podcasts from Rachel Hollis, soaking in discussions about mindset changes and leading with intention, unknowingly realizing that I was then living that truth once I got home and opened my Macbook.

The walks also made me think about my physical health and how sedentary the first few months at the new job had made me. I was also keenly aware of the impact not having office snacks and unlimited Diet Coke was having on the scale. (Hmm. Another thing to devote my energy to…) Then, one walk became three (sometimes four) walks. I break from my laptop for 20 minutes twice during the typical workday to sneak in a mile, letting Beyonce serenade me as I get my mind right for the next Zoom call.

Developing habits has been a game changer these past ~7 weeks. I’ve reconnected with what’s important to me, become a healthier version of myself both physically and mentally, and certainly (or hopefully, I should say) have become a better friend and colleague to others on my perpetual quest to serve well.

Sometimes, the simplest stories offer nuggets of inspiration. I hope that something about my personal experience during this pandemic hits home to you.

As Lori would say, I am cheering you on. ♥️

Leveling up: Time to take the difficult path

13.1 miles of me v. me a few weeks ago. Good news: I won.

Hey there, friends! Ashley here. I am the lucky one who gets to help Lori with To Serve Well. You heard from me once, back in 2017. It’s funny, because I only vaguely remember the woman who guest blogged that post about self care. In fact, for a while, I lost her.

I’ve been on a journey for years now – mostly physical health. You know that vicious cycle where you lose the weight and gain it back (lather, rinse, repeat).

But right now, I’m on a different journey – a journey to grow. A journey to level up. I’m on a journey to discover more about my own capacity to learn, to become more patient, kind, innovative and effective. I’m on a journey of evolution, watching the rewards trickle out into every part of my life, from the office to my dating life (a generous term, but we are rolling with it).

There’s absolutely nothing special about my ability to accomplish this over anyone else. It is sometimes messy and always hard, but it’s worth it.

Critical to my success these past three months is my willingness to have an open mind and heart to the messages of other people. Which brings us to a quote that I picked up recently that resonated:

I say no to a lot of stuff so I can have bandwidth and energy and dedication to the difficult path.

Robin Arzón

Please tell me that touched your soul the way it did mine. I mean, wow. It came from Peloton VP and instructor Robin Arzón, who Lori mentioned in a blog last week. I’ll include the podcast below if you’d like to take a listen. Her mindset about growth and persistence is really amplifying what I feel in my bones right now.

How often do you watch people around you take the easy route? They wander back into a relationship because it’s comfortable, or stay at the job they see no long-term opportunity in despite having a grand vision of starting a business. I hate to suggest it, but maybe that’s not just someone around you – maybe it’s you?

Let me bring it home for you. I devoted an alarming amount of bandwidth for months about whether I was in the right job and whether those around me thought I was capable in my role. Instead of letting that be a fleeting thought, it consumed me, and everything that was happening around me was, in turn, validating that negative mindset. But my gosh, friends, do you know what happened when I finally decided to take my version of the difficult path that Robin’s talking about? My life changed in a matter of months.

Between a mentor, a therapist, a financial planner, daily journaling, personal development books and podcasts galore, I feel armed and dangerous with a better understanding of what it means to be a strong woman here to serve myself well so I can be a better servant to those around me. And I was previously shut off to all of those resources and people, though I still don’t understand why.

I share a piece of my heart with you today, in the context of my girl Robin’s quote, in hopes you give the bandwidth, energy and dedication to whatever difficult path awaits your attention. Trust me. Come on in. The water’s fine.

Guest blog: The art of self care

​​The following blog post is from my friend and blog helper, Ashley, who is an education reporter in St. Louis. (Photo credit: Pexels)​​

I’m an outgoing introvert. Weird, right?

There is such a stigma around introversion that makes people think you’re bound to be a cat lady — or dog lady, in my case — who has a DVR packed with shows and no friends to go grab a bite with.

Au contraire. I have a dog, no television and I spend plenty of time with my pals.

But being an introvert, or someone who needs to recharge while being by myself, means I keep a pretty tight leash on my calendar, like Lori talked about in Tuesday’s post. In fact, it’s safe to say I’m a little obsessive about my priorities.

It’s not because I’m stingy with my time. It’s so I can share the best version of myself with each of the people I spend time with, whether it’s a source I’m grabbing mid-morning coffee with, a friend during happy hour or a grocery trip with grandma.

Covet your calendar. And schedule time for yourself each day.

Do you have a routine in place that gives you some time to reflect or recharge? Even extroverts need that. For me, it’s my hour or so at the gym each morning. For some it’s a long walk. A trip to Starbucks.

Here are a few suggestions for recharging that you can hopefully supplement with Lori’s point this week about taking control of your calendar for your best yes:

  • Meditate: So many of my friends are raving about the Headspace app that I’m tempted to buy it. There’s a free option that I tried a while back during a time when I didn’t let the value soak in. Headspace is a 10 minute per day guided meditation via an app. One of my friends uses the last bit of his lunch break each day to get his 10 minutes in before giving his attention back to the world. He swears by it.
  • Practice gratitude: Yogis, whom I respect, are big into gratitude. Heck, it’s part of some eastern religions, too. We could all get better at this. During your next drive, I challenge you to give it a shot, but focus inward. Turn the music down. Think about the things you did this week that you’re rightfully proud about. Let the feeling of productivity and gratitude for your own strength wash over you. I’ll try this, too.

Here’s a list of more ideas from a blog site, PopSugar, about self care. Read up and enjoy.​​