To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Growth mindset

Thank you, Dr. King

Please don’t dismiss this week’s celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you are a news junkie, no doubt it has been front and center (along with football playoffs and winter) the last few days. Others are avoiding the news, instead gravitating toward anything but the often-negative stories that flood into our homes.

For this week, it is worthwhile to take in the story of his life… again.

If you’d like a simple place, use this. The “I have a dream” video is also worth your 5 minutes.

My friend Gretchen who substitute teaches (lucky kids) told me that she asked her class the other day who today’s heroes are. The collective group couldn’t really come up with any. Maybe some athletes, but overall the exercise provided pause that left everyone asking who deserves such a title today? Who is doing work that addresses the big issues?

Thankfully there are a LOT of heroes in our world. Many who are quietly serving – and some more noteworthy … spending their days working on complex & big issues. But there is always room for more stand-outs who can GALVANIZE our country. People like Dr. King who sacrificed their lives for the good of man and society.

The quote above is my favorite of Dr. King’s. It resonates with me and I hope it does with you. What issues have we been silent about? The definition of silence meaning that you haven’t really done anything to share your concern and take action to help improve the situation. This could be as easy as walking by litter in your own neighborhood, or as complex as taking on the hate that impacts our world.

 (A shout out to my friend Mindy Corporon and family who are working toward improvement in this area via their foundation and their annual week-long event bringing awareness to these issues.) 

Whatever the issue is that you have a passion for, please don’t be silent. It’s a new year and I’m often glad Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday is celebrated this month, because this is a month to LAUNCH – to kick off or renew a commitment to what is important in our lives. (If you don’t have anything that stands out, please join Mindy and team.)

While you are at it, if you have children in your life that you can inspire, encourage them this week to identify those issues and begin to step forward as a leader to truly impact our world for the positive. I’m confident that today’s youth have what it takes to continue to make America the greatest country in the world.

Dominate THIS moment (and then the next)

dom-i-nate (verb) Have a commanding influence on; exercise control over.  Influence… Command… Govern… Direct, preside, master…

mo-ment (noun) A very brief period of time. An appropriate time for doing something; an opportunity. Instant… split second… jiff… juncture, stage…

Domination over our daily habits – and the systems we create to ensure we have positive habits – is a necessary action all of the time, but in particular this month. In his book, ‘Atomic Habits,’ James Clear shares how tiny changes can create remarkable results – GAME-CHANGING results.

One example is to be super clear on when we are going to do something we set out to do – identifying the what and when are the key. So, if you want to start doing 10 pushups you may say, “I am going to do 10 pushups, right after I brush my teeth and get into bed.” Easy, right? The difference is that simple. Establish a “system” around what you want to do.

It is mission critical for me to optimize my life so I can fulfill my purpose. I want to make an impact on those around me every single time I have the opportunity. I know many of you share that goal. We need to be on our game for this to actually happen. To that end, dominating our moments is just a tad important.

I hope this inspires you to think through what areas you need to dominate or influence in a short time to help you achieve your master goals… Dominating takes intention, but therein lies the difference we can make.

(As a side note for my #CHIEFSKINGDOM: Let’s dominate every moment of Sunday’s game like we did Saturday! Coaches, players and fans alike… let’s UNIFY to DOMINATE.)

“Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.” – Stephen Covey

Who are you at your best?

An idea I ran across for the new year was to write a three paragraph statement of who I am at my best. Hmm… Although I like to write, I’m not much for these types of exercises, and prefer a simple, bulleted approach. I figure I can be vulnerable a bit in this space, so here is what I know for sure without giving it a lot of thought. (In other words, I’m sure there are a host of things I’m missing.)

I’m at my best when…

  1. My spiritual life is on point and active.
  2. I am disciplined around my health, including fitness and eating mostly right (I have to have queso… anyone else?).
  3. My tribe of family and friends (I include colleagues here) are part of my regular schedule.
  4. My personal tribe of family and friends are thriving and happy.
  5. I am absolutely on my game in my career.
  6. I have MARGIN… margin in time to think, read, write, margin in my finances, margin in pretty much every area…

What about you? Is it worth it to take some time to identify what being your best looks like? I can easily go through the list above and see some areas that I would like to focus more on. Focus meaning intentional (and sometimes hard) work to just MAKE IT HAPPEN. Making it happen can mean sacrifice and saying no – or maybe even saying yes. It might mean that instead of spending a Saturday doing what I need and want, that I invest time with my tribe.

I can also see by looking at the list that some things are in conflict, such as that little tribe example. Margin isn’t easy to come by anyway, and harder if you also know it’s a competing priority. Here’s the thing: sometimes we have to actually think through “What is the best yes?”

In this season, in this moment, what do I need more – margin or time with friends? There isn’t a wrong answer, and we need to remember that. It’s all good as long as you are working toward your BEST LIFE.

Catering to our success

I was on a panel a few years ago when I was stopped in my tracks by a quote from a fellow businesswoman. She said her most important life lesson was to stay focused on the concept that she wants others to “cater to my success, not my ego.”

It was a game changer for the way I thought about, well, everything.

During my 20s and even my 30s, I truly wanted the kind of feedback that told me I was doing great. The slightest criticism left me up at night, twisting and turning on how, why and what I could do to improve. In my 40s and even now, I crave solid, constructive feedback, even the kind that might not feel good. If I give a speech, for example, I love it when someone gives me an “‘atta girl,” but I love it even more when someone takes the time to point out where I could have expanded, improved, etc. In my personal life, I think it’s still a challenge sometimes to receive feedback you don’t really want to hear.

We of course should want that for ourselves, but it can be a bit uncomfortable to be in the middle of the “ring” so to speak. It is important that feedback is both honest and fair, and delivered with honor. We need to remember that although Brene Brown (Dare to Lead, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness) is on point with her, “Clear is Kind,” that it’s only kind if we do so with respect and a true intent to build value to the person. On that point then, feedback is, at its root form, a trust exercise. It’s best delivered within that context and in a trusted relationship. Maya Angelou’s famous quote seems to play well here:

“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

I think we need to remember that when we are on the delivery side.

I could provide a multi-point process here that may help with some steps on how to receive or give feedback, but that is for another blog. Today, I think it is more powerful to simply offer up the concept that we really need to not only be okay with trusted friends and colleagues helping us level up, but that we should seek it out. We will no doubt serve ourselves and others better if we can!

What “one word” sets you on fire for the best year ever?

I really love this topic. My mind runs amok with the possibilities. Where in the world does God want us to go in 2019? How do we best achieve our personal goals and purpose? How can we show up with excellence at home, in our neighborhood, as a friend, for our community and in our careers?

Now, of course I know “one word” doesn’t capture it all, but what would one thought be that galvanizes and energizes? Is there a specific area in your life that needs a specific focus? Do you need to for example cultivate your relationships? Do you need to have more days of connection and joy? Are you being called to adventure, travel or exploration?

So many ideas. Here are a few…

Discipline – This was my first “one word” from back in 2012, and it was the year I started working out on a regular basis and focusing on personal health. Total game changer.

Also… Elevate, trust, joy, stretch, acceptance, happiness, freedom, momentum, growth, unstoppable, shine, minimize, rebuild, peace, silence, brave, curious, perspective, thrive, aware, fresh, quiet, travel, adventure, journey, accelerate, game-changer, win, search, commit, dedicate, meaning, true, love…

If you choose to jump on this train, I highly recommend that you share your word with a few members of your tribe, write it down and put it front and center somewhere you see often. There are also other resources, including a website, which lets you join others across the world in the process.

In closing, I will share that selecting a word could be a challenge. Since I’ve done this a few years, I always want to give it some real thought and try to hear from God on what would be the most powerful word to help direct me. That said, my word for 2018 was “revival,” and I didn’t really understand it fully at the time, but felt it was clearly supposed to be my word.

Here is what I wrote in last year’s blog (referencing a message I had just heard at that time about “revival” being a “season of reintroduction”): “Revival is a time where God reintroduces himself, exposes you more to your next assignment, and gives you insights to conquer that next level.” As it turns out, it actually was a year of reintroduction, but in many ways not at all how I would have even began to predict or understand January 1. I think that is a fun part of this journey… sometimes what you think at the onset is not how it ends up.  

What we can count on is that 2019 will be an adventure! Have a terrific weekend everyone!  

Getting to our “one word” for 2019

Every year, I spend energy on finding what “one word” I want to focus on for the next year, and I know many of you join me in that adventure. We will talk about that in more detail Thursday.

In order to get to the “right word”… as in what I feel I’m supposed to focus on, I have found that it is useful to go through a process of figuring out where the current year has taken me… What has it revealed? Where am I today, because of what has occurred over the last ~12 months, and how might that inform what my 2019 focus could/should be? This year, I want to take you on a bit of the 2018 journey with me today- I simply looked back at the photos on my phone and audited what seemed like key parts or messages…

January:  I launched my son Sam off to Australia for his study abroad program. I also read a lot of great books and completed my annual Daniel Fast. I attended a terrific Martin Luther King Jr. event, which started me on a path of greater understanding that continued throughout the year. I focused on minimalism in this month, relying on this thought: “God, help me to see that so few things are really important and to at least take care of these first.”  (For the record… not sure I’m winning yet in this category.) 

February: February was Go Red Month, focused on a cause I am both deeply involved with and passionate about, the American Heart Association. I also reconnected for the second year in a row  with my college girlfriends, which has been a game changer in the best of ways. Perhaps staying invested for the long haul is the takeaway.

March: I launched my 50th year, making lists of my favorites that are still stored in my notes, which reminded me that I need more time to reflect and share. I was fortunate to travel to Australia — another experience that made it clear that we need to get out of our normal environments to truly understand our world.

April: A month of highs and lows. We hosted a “groom’s shower” for my cousin and it was an incredible time focused on this lovely couple. I was reminded of the hope that comes with young love. The month ended with my mom suffering from multiple seizures and a prolonged illness would begin- (she’s almost 100 percent back to normal now, and it isn’t lost on me that we are lucky,  and that life is short). The year seemed to pause here, as anyone who has experienced a drastic change in health of a loved one knows, things seem to stop all around you. This quote seemed to sum up this time for me: “If God has called you to it, he will equip you for it.” — Priscilla Shirer

May: Sam graduated from Michigan State University, which I took as another message from the universe: We have a lot of great people out there getting ready to take their turn at impacting our world. Also, I accepted and started a new job with Humana’s wholly-owned subsidiary, “Partners in Primary Care,” a senior-focused clinic model and it is the absolutely perfect fit for me. Little did I know that these people would become such an important part of my life. The theme for the month possibly being that you absolutely can plan some things in life (graduations) but you can’t predict them all, but God is designing your life in a way that will astound even you.

June: We celebrated my mom’s 75th and were more thankful than ever before. We also celebrated my dad surviving a health scare (when it rains, it pours). I met some friends who have become more than dear to me, and I co-hosted a baby shower. Again, the power of hope in our youth showed up and showed off.  

July: A perfect summer month. Any month with Kenny Chesney and Thomas Rhett concerts has to be amazing. A quote I saved that month, “What is life, but one grand adventure?” LOVE IT.

August: Another summer came to a close more quickly than I felt it should, with a clear message from the universe to “advance.” Now, if I could figure out what that exactly means it would be helpful (insert LOL). The theme seemed to be around the idea that “disadvantages can be double advantages.” Hmmmm….

September: Can you say Chiefs Kingdom? Also, I am loving my new work team right now and and cultivating new relationships seems to be the theme.

October: Chiefs, a brief girl’s trip to Napa, opened two new clinics (which seemed to consume every last bit of energy I had), and another message: “Life will keep bringing you the same test over and over again until you pass it.” Hmm. Which lesson is that again? Patience, perhaps? Simplification of the schedule…?

November: Chiefs, and the loss of my sweet Cinny Girl. This reminds me of the importance of deep loyalty. Of course, thankfulness is the theme for this month always. 

December: It’s all about strategy, time with those you love, finding joy, peace and reflection….

So, what about you? What has life revealed for you this year? Are there any themes that you see?

I am praying that you might find some value in this idea and that you might take the time to truly consider where and how you can best “advance?” 

(Thank you by the way for hanging in there with me through that brief review… Seems like I have a couple of leads on my “one word” for 2019. )

Loving others with no expectations


A shout out to my mom for the blog topic today. I asked her if she had something she thought would be helpful, and it didn’t take her even a minute to reel this one off. 

At age 75, there is wisdom that comes with this idea — and that doesn’t get past me. Her primary example was that when her mother passed, her dad married again, and from age 30 to 74, my mom had a stepmother who tried to fill the shoes that honestly couldn’t be filled. Her revelation that it was unfair to expect her stepmom to play the role of her mom didn’t come until last year before my grandmother passed. She’s the first to admit that 44 years was absolutely too long to hold this thought and expectation (thus the idea for the blog, hoping it would help someone else).

The bottom line here is that we should try to accept people to show up as they are and not tie our happiness to expectations we come up with.

Here’s the question: What are some parts of your life where you have expectations that may not be serving you well?

  • Are you expecting your children or grandchildren to call you when it doesn’t necessarily fit in with their schedules?
  • Are you expecting your significant other to know that you have a childhood expectation of having a well thought out and over-the-top birthday celebration?
  • Are you expecting your neighbor, sister, brother, children, etc. to see the world as you do?

I love the reminder that sitting without judgement in a relationship and calling ourselves out on setting up unfair scenarios in our minds will make us all better. Thanks for the idea, Mom.  

Have an amazing week!  

Building energy, perspective and immunity

Rewind! This post is a very relevant throwback. 

Constant growth is what makes us who we were designed to be. Three thoughts for you today.

We must BUILD ENERGY: Be it physical energy or mental energy, we simply must be working on our health game. Even Instagram is a showcase of opinions, thrashing politics and personal agendas… (Aside: Please make it go back to a place for cool pictures and powerful messages!) Staying on top of this is a must have if you are to maintain a healthy mindset. Be thinking about BUILDING ENERGY!

We must BUILD PERSPECTIVE: Your perspective determines your ability to perceive opportunities, pursue optimism and to embrace chaos. Focusing on your perspective — what you know to be true — is a game changer. When problems arise, it’s our perspective that allows us to move to the other side and deal with it in a way that encourages and helps us and others grow. How is your perspective?

We must BUILD IMMUNITY: This one was a wild card, but it was top-of-mind so I had to include it. My point here is immunity against anything that has the ability to alter our days and our minds. Anything that can get us off track. As with sickness (those ugly winter colds going around), the world can get to us. People — even our families — may say something that can shift our mood in seconds. Build IMMUNITY against that.

At the end of the day, life is too short to get our feelings hurt easily and we can decide up front that we are not going to be distracted from joy.

Have the most amazing weekend.

Be fully awake to the present

Today is the opportunity we have been granted.

This month is a great time to recommit and be fully awake to what is going on around us, and be completely open to living in the moment.

Tom Peters has a thought that “Excellence is the next 5 seconds…”

I want to be excellent. I want to be IN this moment, not OUTSIDE of it.

I want to be fully aware of the lights on the tree, the anticipation from the children for the holiday festivities, the tears that are hidden behind my friends smile, the extra-tight hug that shows a friend needs a little extra support right now… all of it.

I want to be fully awake. Don’t you?

I believe that if we can get better in this area, we will be closer to being fully alive.

Who’s with me on this?

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Pause, reflect, celebrate

Happy Sunday and welcome December, the month of culmination… love… joy and celebration. I’d submit that this is true only if we allow it. If we pause. If we reflect. If we set our intentions early on to achieve peace and resolve to find open spaces of quiet.

I’m committed to find this in the next 29 days – to pause and embrace solitude when I can and have quiet conversations that center around true joy. Getting to the depths of…

  • What brings me true peace?
  • Who brings me full joy?
  • What activities create a positive energy that leaves me wanting more?
  • Where can I see growth?
  • How can I curate more days of fullness and beauty?

These are not easy questions. I need to recognize that and take time to go all in. I would love for you to walk this path with me this month. I’d love to hear your stories and I’d love to know what questions you may add to the list. At the end of the month, let’s celebrate this reflection and forge into 2019 with a fresh view of God’s purpose for my life.

I am praying as I write this that you find yourself right now in a moment of gratitude and commitment to use the month to find the joy you so richly deserve. I believe that is God’s plan for all of us… to fully feel the love, joy and peace available to us.