To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Growth mindset

Am I focused on what matters the most? (And hello August!)

Happy August everyone! We are launching the eighth month of the year today! That seems crazy to me – and even more so, the fact that all of those beautiful children and their teachers kick off another year way too soon. I hope July was a banner month for you all and that you had time to enjoy all that summer can be – pools, lakes, oceans, lingering nights on the patio and a large dose of creating love and memories with those you love.

After taking a month off from writing, top of mind for me right now is the concept of the blog itself – SERVICE. The word has been showing up the last two weeks in my reading and various podcasts, messages and conversations. The question I wrote down was the title of this blog: Am I focused on what matters most? After all, we were indeed placed on this earth, in this generation, at this particular moment… to do just that.

When my boys were younger, serving seemed easier for some reason. We were always working toward “community service” hours, and the schools were great ambassadors to help drive that awareness. At this point, engaging in community boards is certainly service, and even serving as an act of daily living counts. Our work place is fantastic about serving and I’m proud of that. However, when is the last time I physically rolled up my sleeves to serve someone who really needed that help immediately? I’m afraid to admit that it’s been too long, short of one brief stint serving at Thelma’s Kitchen (which, by the way, is a fantastic place to join other great folks in meeting our community’s needs).

I am hopeful this post provides a call to action for you as it did for me. I would argue that serving others is the very best part of life. It takes a bit of intention, but it is worth it. It is so important that psychologists agree on one thing: If someone has depression, anxiety, a lack of focus, etc., the often recommended treatment is to walk out the door and find someone, anyone, to help – to serve. In other words, shift the focus from yourself to serving others. I absolutely love that.

Have a wonderful wrap to your week!

Go ahead… Drop some balls

The New York Times on Sunday had a terrific article titled, Work-Life Balance is a Myth, by Tiffany Dufu. I loved the approach in the article, driven around answering the hard question of “what really matters?”

I sometimes think of this as “what is my Best Yes?” which I stole from the namesake of Lysa TerKeurst’s book. So what does this mean? It means asking: Do I really need to go to that social gathering after work? Do I really want to stay out late on Friday, ( or would I rather have a robust Saturday morning?) Should I take the time to pick out a meaningful card for a dear friend’s birthday, or can I wing it and buy one on the way to the party? What is the best use of my time right now – a walk in nature to clear my head or jumping on another call to push through on being more productive?

There are no wrong answers. What is best for you, at this present time in your life, is what matters.

Here’s an excerpt from the article that I found to be both a simple and meaningful way to start figuring this out …

“– try this visualization exercise adapted from the book, ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ (Side note: That book is a classic must-read. In fact, I would go as far to say it should be required high school or college reading.)

Imagine three people eulogizing you at your funeral. What would they say about you? What do you hope they would say about you? Write this down.

Now, ask yourself: Are you on the path to becoming the person they describe? If not, maybe you’re not putting your energy into what’s the most important to you.”

Here’s where the “drop the ball” idea rolls in: Once you know what really matters to you, you can assess your current calendar and how your time and energy are being saturated. Once you do this, it all begins to come together, and somehow… magically, you can then take a discerning look at how you are investing your time and decide which balls you can – or rather should – drop. (If you are like me… there are atleast a few… let’s call them, “mis-prioritized” balls.)

What balls can you drop? Hopefully over the next few days you get a smile on your face when you purposely decide to drop a ball or two. Your joy and wellness are sure to accelerate when you do.

Have the best weekend!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: God’s timing – it’s perfect & it may be here now

(Photo credit to @ig_minimalshots)

God’s timing on [fill in the blank] is perfect. Does it sometimes seem unattainable? I mean… what does “perfect” really mean? And …could it actually arrive sooner than I think? I think the whole idea is actually a bit of a challenge to comprehend, or at least that has been my experience. I believe that “perfect” is really what is “perfect” for you… at a specific time and a specific season in your life. The notion is such a wonderful thought.

To me, God’s timing is the only avenue to what is perfect for my life. Looking back, when God was involved it ended up being the right time and the right place – even if the reason was for a big ole’ lesson to be learned by yours truly! Be it a career choice, a relationship, or even the decision to make a major purchase, if I actually listened and was obedient to what He was trying to get through my sometimes-thick skull, then I have found myself fully in His timing… which is right where I’m supposed to be! How do I know? Because quite simply I am at peace about it!

I don’t know about you, but I want that… FULL ON PEACE and a KNOWING! Unfortunately I, like you, am human, which means I often don’t listen fully and certainly am not as obedient as I really would love to be. It is an aspirational goal I constantly work toward. I want to be the best listener, and to have God’s direction guiding my life. How about you?

My insight for today is that sometimes God’s timing may seem really far away, but quite possibly, it just may be closer than you think. I know personally that it is quite likely right in front of you. Do what you can (surround yourself with encouragers, read the scriptures, listen to messages that inspire, etc.) to submit yourself to what you know God is calling you to do and muster up some deep courage to go in that direction. Make that call, send that message, stop that bad habit, move forward on that idea you have…

If you are able to take action and be obedient, you may just fast forward ahead, and your dreams just may be here now.

Have the best week ever! It is a beautiful time to create the world you desire.

Why you need a security detail

I hope this hits some of you like it did me. I have a security detail, and I hope you do as well! It may be that you need to rethink who is in yours, and perhaps even add one or more key folks to the team.

You may be thinking, “What is a security detail?” My son even asked about it when he saw me working on this post. According to Wikipedia, a security detail is a “Personal Protection Detail (PPD); a protective team assigned to protect the personal security of someone.” So, who is protecting you? People who “have our back,” and push us and make us better. People who we primarily choose, though often God blesses us with family members who are incredible at ensuring we are covered, protected, confronted, redirected, and gently pushed toward a positive direction. My sister has always had my back full on and what a gift that has been.

So, what are some of the critical areas where this is essential to a successful life? Here are some thoughts…

Your personal physical and mental health… Everything from exercise and fitness to those girl’s nights out that fill your spirit.

Your financial wellness and ability to find freedom in that area… A trusted advisor who comes alongside you and offers clarity around some often complex and private decisions.

Your career and in the workplace… This one is huge. I’ve blogged before about the need to have a champion – a few, if possible – that you know without a doubt will lift you toward great success.

Your spiritual life and your ability to navigate the complexities of life in general… Who do you know that is locked in to their faith and can help you build yours?

If I think through “who has my back,” I can come up with a short list that I know without a doubt want to see me succeed in many areas. I have, however, gone seasons without that “someone” in some of these areas. This is a call to action if you find yourself in that same boat, so to speak.

It takes intention to seek out this type of help. I personally like to have people that are ahead of me in life, or who have experience in an area at a much higher level than I have. These people offer me the opportunity to level up, and they can hold me accountable because of their experience having already walked this path.

Have a crazy-good week. Make it that way.

Add to your tribe if needed, and know that no matter what, most people are good, and the universe wants you to succeed in all that you dream and desire to accomplish!

Stand TALL, shoulders BACK – Bringing a spirit of boldness to your week

Don’t you kind of love this image? STAND TALL, SHOULDERS BACK… TAKING A POSITION OF BRAVERY… “Owning It” Days like that are awesome. Seasons like that are something to behold. You know what? We can actually take this stance every single day. That is a personal decision.

I have often talked about this idea of making a “pre-decision.”  It’s a concept I picked up a few years back from my favorite author, Mark Batterson. Most key aspects of our lives depend on our ability to make a decision of how we want to show up. So, how do you want to show up this week?

The term “bravado” actually traces back to an old Italian adjective: bravo, meaning courageous, among other meanings. This is how I like to think of it: Courage with a touch of swagger; deciding to show up with confidence in what one brings to the table.

What are you sure of today?

What gifts, skills or personality traits do you have that energize you and make this world better? Are you a great storyteller, like my dad? Do you have that ability to light up a room immediately, like my friend Tiffany? Do you make everyone around you feel better by always offering a kind word, like my friend Gloria? Are you the hardest worker in the room? A skilled negotiator? A philanthropist always focused on bettering our community? A master gardener? Whatever you have been gifted with, put your shoulders back and own it. We need what you have to offer. Decide that this week, you are going all in with a position of boldness.

Be the champion you are

Are you vibing being a champion today? Do you realize that you are powerful beyond measure? Are you focusing your thoughts on the good, the helpful, the kind, the strong?

You might want to sit with this well-known quote a bit today: “We are the stories we tell ourselves.” Are those stories epic in the best way possible? Are you the superhero you should be?

One of my dear friends and a colleague “owns” the Wonder Woman character. Yep, she claimed the nick name and I love it! She shows up every day speaking that truth to herself, and you know what… she is Wonder Woman. To me, that means beyond helpful, always looking out for others, always on a mission to lift up the energy around her and shine a light in dark places.

Today and this week and this month and this year, let us all own being a champion… Let’s show up for both ourselves and for those around us. Let us tell ourselves stories that are rich in positivity, in laughter, in love and in handling obstacles with power and grace.

You my friend are a champion indeed!

Sometimes renovation requires demolition

Life is a fun challenge. We all have the opportunity to be the architects and designers of a life well-lived.

What type of life do you want? What makes you feel like you’ve achieved true “wellness?” What needs to happen for you to achieve your purpose? To make sure you are moving forward in those key areas that sometimes show up in these types of conversations – relationships, career, school, spiritual, financial, physical and emotional wellbeing?

The above is a powerful message. What areas need to be completely dismantled? That’s a hard question. Demolition only seems to look good when Chip and Joanna, the team from Fixer Upper, are involved. Can it even be fun?

I believe this statement is true. Sometimes we are on the wrong path… our diets are off track, our spiritual practices are lacking, we are spending too much money on the wrong things, our relationships are not filling us up, and we have some unaddressed emotional challenges.

What is so cool about this idea is that no matter if partial or full on demolition is needed, you have the ability to create an amazing, new space that lights up your life. That opportunity is just on the other side of the decision to act. Now that I can get excited about. How about you?

Let’s make it a STRONG week!

Live in the arena

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again … who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

Theodore Roosevelt

Want to level up your personal growth? Find a bit over an hour, log into Netflix and be prepared to actively take notes. You will laugh, you will nod in understanding and you will be changed. In her Netflix special, Dr. Brene Brown, says something to the tune of “there is my life before this quote (above) and my life after.” I could say the same thing about this show. Incredible.

She talks about “engineering smallness” in her life because of her fear to step into her own power and play big. (Frankly, that’s its own headline!)

She shares incredible data that proves that if we are to achieve anything – from career success to love – we will indeed fall, get our asses kicked, and experience heartbreak. (Ouch!)

She talks about being hard-wired for belonging, and our need to speak our truth and not betray ourselves for other people.

She educates about the need for us to be vulnerable…even in the workplace. Especially if we are to develop inclusivity, equity and diversity and have uncomfortable conversations that ultimately have the power to bring us to unity. (Folks… we need to be vulnerable… this is critical for our generation.)

That, my friends, encompasses only about 5 percent of the content. I truly hope that you will make it a priority to step into this great message. And if you’ve already caught her Netflix special, I’d love to hear about your takeaways!

The “arena” can for sure be intimidating – scary even. The “arena” is also that place where we grow, thrive and shine like no other place. You all are champions my friends! Cheering you on always.

It takes a strong person to be kind

An excerpt from Maria Shriver’s short read, “I’ve been Thinking,” was powerful to me:

“We all want to be treated with kindness, because we are all struggling in some way, shape or form. I had to learn this as an adult, because growing up in a large, competitive, and tough Irish Catholic family, I used to confuse kindness with weakness. When I grew up, I learned differently. I now understand that kindness doesn’t mean weakness. You have to be really strong to be kind…You have to be really mindful … A person may look ‘happy on the outside,’ but who knows what’s happening on the inside.”

Some of the strongest people I know are also the kindest. And many have been through or are going through some crazy-hard life situations. They show up with a hug or inspirational words despite facing great loss and suffering. Knowing that was proof enough for Maria’s message to resonate with me.

I know that God has given me enough grace in some of my own “most difficult life experiences” to allow me to “show up” as kind and generous in my actions despite how I really felt inside. I can’t take credit for this because, like most of humanity, I’m not strong enough on my own. I give thanks for that to both by faith and a strong tribe of friends and family that surround me.

Today, be proud of yourself for showing up kind, in the midst of whatever is going on in your life. The ability to do so reveals great strength. I believe we definitely make the world better by showing kindness in every possible moment we can…especially when it’s the hardest to do so. You know what else is fun? Doing so likely will have the outcome of making us feel happier, which is a pretty cool by-product.

Being realistic about getting to a happy life

I had a revelation on Saturday. I am not entirely sure where it came from, but one of my dear friends was sharing with me that she didn’t know if she would ever get to happiness. I had a strong, clear reaction which kind of surprised me to be honest (since, like I’m sure many of you, sometimes happiness can be hard to nail down…). I guess it was somewhat of a lightbulb moment or a personal epiphany. Here’s what I responded to her statement:

Happiness is a moment – and then another moment.

I went on to say that sometimes I feel that America gives us a false hope that happiness is something we obtain – a pinnacle or a mountaintop where we stay once we achieve. (I also may have said that it was an American fantasy from hell, but maybe that was a bit strong?) In this moment, I somehow owned this while I was saying it. While I’m clearly not a researcher on happiness, I am compelled to believe this is the absolute truth.

Sure, happiness “is a choice” most days and through most seasons. We can choose to find joy in the smallest pleasures, like a light breeze hitting our face on a warm day, or a courageous flower popping up through the sidewalk crack. Oftentimes, happiness eludes us. We look right past the elderly couple holding hands in the grocery store, or the fact that we woke up breathing, or that were able to celebrate another birthday with friends and family.

Happiness… It’s in both the experiences we choose and those that choose us. A season of questioning or when your spirit just isn’t joyful, doesn’t mean you aren’t happy. It just means you are normal and that happiness is about to catch you again! Be on the lookout for those. A happy life is a compilation of happy moments. Cheering you all on!