To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Growth mindset

Amplify the yes, and shake off what doesn’t build you up

Amplify (verb): To make larger, greater or stronger.

Who else could amplify some things in their life right now?

Expand my wisdom? Yes please!
Develop stronger patience? Why yes, I think I will!
Increase my energy? Heck yes! I would love that!

We can all use this message, and can benefit from a reminder to amplify the good. We also need to remember the power of manifesting positivity. I believe we have all been given the strength and gifts we need, be it through our own work and determination, or from the people who have been placed in our paths.

When talking to a friend once, I shared how I imagined a serious conversation I needed to have would play out. I thought, at the time, that I was being realistic. She quickly reminded me not to put that negativity out into the universe. Instead, I should expect it would go well.

I have to say, I still think I’m more than likely right –– but so is she! I need to amplify the potential positive here. Easier said than done, right?

This summer, more than any other time before, I think we could all benefit from putting this at the forefront of our minds. We need to shake off –– a la Taylor Swift –– anything that doesn’t build us up. Who or what builds you up? Makes you have a spring in your step? Brings you energy? Makes you the best version of yourself?

On the flip side, who or what brings you down? How can you reduce that influence? What boundaries do you need to put in place to protect yourself? All important questions.

I hope as we head into this next month that you bring on the power of your best self and do everything you can to reduce the friction of what doesn’t. In fact, I’m praying for that as I write this. Have a tremendous rest of your week and happy Fourth of July!

(Rewind! This is a modified throwback post.)

Simple Thoughts Sunday: How do you walk?

Do you know the one thing I love the most about being over 50? The outstanding and very clear fact that I have so much to learn. I just finished a truly intense and beautiful book, “As Kingfishers Catch Fire,” a conversation on the ways of God formed by the words of God, by Eugene H. Peterson. Mr. Peterson, is the author of the Message translation of the bible and his wisdom is penetrating. (The Message by the way is a much easier way to read the bible, and many prefer this… if you haven’t checked it out, you might want to try that on the bible app so that you can see if it fits your style of learning…) The book is essentially a compilation of 49 sermons he wrote when he was a pastor… They are short and easy to read, but deep in context and meaning. Going deeper is somehow appealing to me right now.

This quote above captured me with the truth it holds. The chapter, titled, “With the Wild Beasts,”* contrasts and pulls together Isaiah 40 and Mark 1. The highlight for me is essentially “locating” the new (Mark) in the old (Isaiah) by way of referencing the “Way” and “Path.”- The term “Way” is familiar to the Jewish population, at least in that day, because of it’s frequent use in the Psalms. According to Mr, Peterson, this is where this thought came about, “Where “the way” is not the path we walk on but the way we walk on the path.”

Some additional thought here…

“The Way is not only a route we take but the WAY WE GO…the way we walk, the way we use our influence, (side note: we all have influence…) the way we treat one another, the way we raise our children, the way we read, the way we worship, the way we vote,” and on.

As this is “Simple Thoughts Sunday,” and a place I often talk about my faith, I find this so incredibly important right now. It’s always important to contemplate what “path” I am on… (I seem to prefer that to “the way,” but it’s the same thing.) I am especially focused on ideas of “the way I… think, research, listen, and learn before voicing an absolute opinion, the way I approach careful matters…

Jesus says clearly that he is the way. (John 14:6) I believe that if we will take time to really allow God to speak to us, that we will be able to follow a “way” that is better and that our paths can not only inspire growth and unity, but help advance one another and serve each other in the best possible ways.

*By the way, the context of the chapter title, goes to the opening of the conversation above and that we all generally go thru the “wilderness,” as Jesus did to get thru life. What I loved, is the concept that while we may experience testing and temptation in the wilderness parts of our lives, and even though it seems “empty of vegetation” that it is “full of God.” Essentially, God shows up in these seasons. I believe he is showing up now if we will listen.

Q&A with two new college grads (my sons): A perspective on our new world

What fun to have had Tucker and Joe home the last several weeks. It was not at all the plan we had for this season, but the dinner time conversations and the connections have been very special. I imagine over the years we will treasure this time. The “ring” day celebration at Texas A&M and the graduation weekends in College Station and Gainesville have all been adapted and remapped. This year’s “ritual” celebrations are on deck for deliberation.

This year brings us new opportunities to rethink our lives, and so I wondered what a new college grad may be thinking. It seems nothing is as it was just two months ago, when the boys were on pace with interviews and job offers that would have launched their post-grad career. That seems like it may as well have been 4 years ago now. What must they really be thinking? Concern? Confusion? Relief?

I was curious, so I interviewed them. I hope you all find it as interesting as I did. There were a few unexpected thoughts I gained and lessons that I know impacted me. How much fun (and actually profound) is it to learn from the next generation? Pure delight if you ask me.

Q: Was college what you expected?

Joe: I went in without an expectation really. I knew it would take more effort than high school… harder classes…

Tucker: This is a difficult question to answer. I have found that we all head into periods of transition in life with an idea of what might happen, and college is no exception. In most cases, things do not turn out how we hoped they would, but they work out exactly how they were meant to for our personal growth. For me, my college experience epitomizes this idea.

Q: Was it better than expected? Worse?

Joe: My view is it’s a tool to get you a job within your chosen career. It was a good experience.

Tucker: Looking back, college was better than I expected because of the growth I experienced and the lessons I learned. There were moments when it felt like things could not get any worse, but I found that these are the times that make you stronger. As cliche as that is, it’s true. A major lesson I learned in college was to embrace the difficult times because, more often than not, you will come out on the other side better for it.

Q: What was surprising?

Joe: I was definitely planning on graduating in four years and still feel like I could have if I had known a few things. It was surprising that many of the classes from junior college don’t transfer over, and I wish I had known that.(We found out about a semester too late that this is super common with the junior college combination… Maybe a lesson to be learned for someone else here.)

Tucker: Each year of college brought its own surprises, but the biggest shock to me was the amount of freedom you are given. When you leave home and get to your college campus, the only person to truly hold you accountable is yourself. No one is there to wake you up, prepare your meals, or make you go to class. College requires an immense amount of self-discipline, and figuring all of this out is all part of the process.

Q: Would you recommend junior college?

Joe: We have one of the best junior college’s in the country here where we live around Overland Park, KS. It is a really smart financial decision for many, and it gives you the opportunity to prepare/level up before going to a larger university.

Tucker: I would definitely recommend junior college. Unless you are totally set on what you want to do and where, considering a junior college is a wise decision. From a financial standpoint, doing this can set you up for financial freedom later down the road. From an academic standpoint, you can get your general courses out of the way while you figure out what you are truly passionate about. There is no shame in attending a junior college for a year or two; as a matter of fact, it’s a pretty smart choice.

Q: Was there a primary takeaway or lesson learned?

Joe: I had the chance to study abroad in a way that wasn’t the norm along with one of my triplet brothers. Our other brother, Sam, was able to with his University and I’d say that this experience for all of us was really important. Everyone that can should take advantage of any opportunity like this. The influence of other cultures and perspectives that you learn is really helpful. I have already been exposed to this in my work and in the community, and having this viewpoint seems really important.

On the lessons learned part, I definitely would say don’t take it so seriously that you impact your sleep, or really general health. It’s hard, there are hard instructors, but it seems to even out and it’s not worth the added stress. Some classes are just hard and you have to own that. (Mom comment: Kind of like life…pure wisdom here!)

Tucker: There are so many lessons I learned in college, but the first one that comes to mind is to stay your course. It is easy to play the comparison game with our peers, friends, family, etc. Everyone is on their own path, everyone has their own challenges, and everyone’s situation is entirely different. Devise a plan, stick to it, and focus on you.

Q: How do you think COVID-19 will impact your next phase?

Joe: I think companies will be rethinking how they do work. I think we will have more opportunity to have more balanced lives, perhaps. I was listening to a podcast about the NFL Draft and its success being virtual this year. The key lessons were that they were now considering if this could be done in this way in the future? Better viewership? Happier leaders/coaches that didn’t have to travel and be away from their families? It seems like the question now is, “Are the positive incremental differences in being live and present at the office or at some place like the draft event enough to warrant the expense in cost and health of the teams?” I think we will see this change our way of life from now on to some degree.

Tucker: This pandemic will absolutely have a major impact on this next stage of life. Obviously, companies are not hiring at the pace they once were, creating an even more competitive job market for recent graduates. As far as how firms operate, I am sure remote work will become a popular option, even when COVID-19 blows over. This is a difficult time to be graduating, but as I discussed earlier in this interview, I will be grateful for this experience years from now.

Q: What are your expectations of a celebration knowing the normal “ritual” events such as graduations have been taken away for now or rescheduled?

Joe: I really don’t have any expectations.

Tucker: For some people, the cancellation of these events is devastating, and understandably so. Walking across the stage at Texas A&M’s Reed Arena would have been a very memorable way to wrap up my college years, but an at-home celebration with my close friends and family is perfectly fine with me.

Q: If you had a magic wand and could change or recreate anything about the college experience, what would it be?

Joe: I wouldn’t change anything. I take it all as learning and where I am supposed to be at the moment.

Tucker: I would not change anything. In my eyes, everything unfolded exactly how it was supposed to. Everything we go through and experience is what allows us to learn, grow, and progress.

Q: Favorite instructors?

Joe: None specific, but I could definitely tell those that had passion. It came through in their voice inflection, their command of their subject… the class could feel it.

Tucker: Dr. Sandra Braman (Mass Communication Law) and Dr. Nandra Perry (Bible as Literature) are two awesome instructors at Texas A&M. Both experts in their fields, Dr. Braman and Dr. Perry made coming to class a joy because of their passion, knowledge, and desire to challenge their students

I hope you loved this as much as I did. So much good here! Have a wonderful wrap to this week and I pray that you are finding joy at every turn.

Strengthen your spirit today

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

What a lovely scene in the picture above. The sun and the strength of the thoroughbred painted across a beautifully calm pasture.

The Kentucky Derby would have been this weekend. The picture is from the Claiborne Farm Instagram account. Claiborne is a part of the “Derby” story with over a century of success in raising up the most-beautiful and incredibly-fast horses. I love their history, attributing their success to “adhering to the best principles of stewardship of the land, the horses, and the sport…” Stewardship. Today’s post is around this idea of how we “steward” our light… What we offer up to our own souls and those God has surrounded us with on our journey. So, how well are you stewarding today?

By the way, a quick Google search helps frame up this role of a “steward” as: “A person who looks after the passengers on a ship for example… A person responsible for/managing…” Essentially, a person faithfully looking after what God has given him or her to protect and even grow.

Shaping the path of any given day requires a commitment that we make to ourselves. We make this silently, in the quiet of our meditations or prayers as we go to bed and rise each day. The thoughts that we allow to run wild as we drive, or walk or otherwise navigate our cities and communities. Pastor Adam Hamilton shares that he asks each morning that God would be with him on his mission for the day. I find that to be profound. I find that any power to steward well comes from God speaking through me, whether by word or action.

We have this enormous opportunity to “be the light.” As we go into this week and this season, let us be mindful that this is a gift and that it requires a steadfast dedication as it has for centuries on end, for everything and everyone from thoroughbred horse breeding operations, to NFL football clubs, to local business owners; to teenagers, seniors and every age in between… We collectively can bring the brightest light together if we choose. I pray that our actions bring forward the most powerful joy and light to all around our community.

The power of curiosity

I love kids. Their laughs are the best, and their questions are incredible. Some studies show that kids ask an average of 40,000 questions between ages 2 and 5. That’s 200-300 per day. (via Berger)

How many questions did you ask yesterday? The estimate for most adults is 20. (Quora) To me, curiosity is a key to great happiness and success in life. Nurturing our curiosity is a springboard for growth and knowledge, and I have always found the theory that “knowledge = power” to be more than true.

It seems like a really great time to IGNITE our curiosity. On Saturday, I had the chance to enjoy the late afternoon sunshine and explore a local park. Nature has so much to teach us and I found myself feeling a bit childlike again at the wonder of Spring… new life in bloom from the animals to the plants. What fun it is to see so many people and families connecting through nature during this time. For kids of all ages, curiosity provides the following:

  • Helps us to be better problem solvers
  • Helps us overcome our fears (“Hey, is that snake venomous? Is it safe to hold it?”)
  • Helps us develop empathy when we focus on asking and clarifying versus judging
  • Leads to humility
  • Creates a higher level of self awareness as we question our own whys, beliefs, and consider if there are other options we should consider

On the business side of things, making the case for developing a culture of curiosity is a game-changer for organizations that embrace the curiosity super power. In a stellar article, “The Business Case for Curiosity,” Fracesca Gino points out that cultivating curiosity at all levels helps leaders and their employees adapt to uncertain market conditions and external pressures. (Hello, COVID-19!) “When our curiosity is triggered, we think more deeply and rationally about decisions and come up with more creative solutions.” 

I particularly loved this quote from former Google CEO, Eric Schmidt: “We run this company on questions, not answers.” 

Above almost all actions we can take in today’s world, we need the fuel of questions to ensure we approach new challenges with rigor and fresh thinking. My thought is that we should use this time to raise the game on our own curiosity, look around and fill in the gaps, and serve one another in new ways. (And hey, I just realized its Earth Day on the day this posts…. what a wonderful way to honor this beautiful world by bringing forward a desire to learn all we can about its wonders!)

Shake it off

I asked one of my dear friend’s at work what she felt I should blog about today (what does the universe need right now?), and she emphatically said that I should use this video of our dog, Waffles.

Within moments, Wonder Woman (aka Ashley Jost, who is my right-hand blog professional), quickly made it happen to the tune of this great little clip from the one and only Taylor Swift. I tried to not like Taylor a few years back, but when her songs come on I find myself catching the vibe in a heartbeat. She’s fun and her spirit is contagious. The music lyrics here in “Shake it off” are right on point.

We all know the truth is that with this situation and with many others, we can’t simply “shake it off” completely, but we can identify the weights that bear us down and work to take a few off, replacing them with better energy and more positive or useful thinking. Taking a hard look at what is keeping us up at night, or causing that sick feeling in our stomach, is good for the heart and soul. One of the Twitter feeds I read last night, (@brokeymcpoverty) shared some of the most helpful content I have ever seen. It was an ask that went something like this, “To help make things a little easier – and noting that therapy is a luxury – ask some who are seeing a therapist (or virtually seeing) to spread the wealth and share their best tips.” Here are a couple that I felt were pure gold:

  • “Do you have to sink or swim? What if you just float?” (My fav!)
  • “Capture mood logs” (Journaling is a proven good idea to help process thoughts and experiences.)
  • “Lean into being uncomfortable. Fighting it is like fighting a wave in the ocean, you’ll end up exhausted and possibly feel worse.”
  • “Give equal space to the thought of ‘what if it all works out?'”
  • “Recognize that the whole world is grieving. You can’t expect to be the most productive you’ve ever been just because you have more free time. Everything about your life has drastically changed, be easy on yourself.”

So much good here and such a marvelous tie in to “shake it off.”

I know like me, many of you are doing your best to pray, to “call in” the positive energy and to advance our thinking so that we can come up with better approaches and solutions to dealing with this change. We are all in this together, so by all means, please share any wisdom you may find useful with other readers.

Depending on where you read this it may look like there are only a few readers, there are actually quite a few. In February there were 3,014 people reached through the blog with 550 engaging in some way. My goal with each post is for it to impact one person, and sometimes that person may only be myself, but still I forge ahead knowing this is what God has called me to do.

I share that with the ask that you share your thoughts early and often so that we can collectively share insights that can together shift our world to the positive. So much light to share and we need everyone on board!

So much love for you all!

Take every thought captive

Think back to the last few days. What has consumed your thinking? I just finished the best book of the year for me so far: “Get Out of your Head,” by Jennie Allen. She shared that nearly 70 percent of our thoughts are negative (Psychology Today, October 10, 2013). Yikes.

In a short experiment, she gathered a group of women around a white board that simply said, “What are you thinking about?” With a variety of Post-It notes with different options (like the picture above shows), the women were asked to pull a note that showed what they were thinking about. True to the reference above, over 70 percent were in the not-so-positive space. I would have guessed this to be a lot lower. (Personally, when I saw the list, my mind definitely drifts to the “what ifs” more than I’d like to admit.)

Why is that? I don’t often blog about scripture during the middle of a work week, but the one in this title has always been one of my favorites. If you have ever been around anyone citing New Testament Bible references, you may recognize this advice: “We must take every thought captive.” (2 Corinthians 10:5) The scripture pointing to the fact that our minds are truly wild things that need to be reminded early and often to center our thinking on what is good, useful and true. Our minds tend to run down the rabbit holes of “what ifs” and “whys,” and can quite easily get lost and off onto a path that doesn’t serve us well.

So, how do we in fact get a control on these tendencies? Other than the basic core rule – first, decide that you want to – there are some other ideas to consider. I think identifying where your mind tends to go is really important. Taking a proper inventory, if you will. I love the idea someone shared with me: They ask the “thought” questions, such as, “Should I take you seriously?” Other thoughts: Is this really a big deal? What percent of my day/life/etc. is impacted by this? Does it matter against my other priorities or goals? Why the hell am I even thinking about this so much?

Once you have dealt with whether or not it’s important or not, then create a habit of talking this recurring issue over with someone (or multiple people) you trust. In other words, get wisdom from someone else and ask them to help redirect you if you continue to bring this issue into focus. There are so many other options here, like meditating, praying, journaling, etc. The bottom line is that you must figure out what you are thinking and get with a community that will help you overcome your thought patterns. The best ever is when you are able to replace the negative with the positive. That’s where we take ground and grow.

Let’s be ever mindful this week of the thoughts we have, and work together to shift out of self-focus, and use that energy to think about ways we can use this one life to serve others.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Elevate the sparkle this week!

Who else is ready to “shake off” winter and bring on the sparkle of warmer days? That surely is a metaphor for life in general… Sometimes, we need to “shake” off a season and pray that God will provide some clear skies and brighter moments.

There is a great scripture that points us to the fact that God is pushing us toward sparkle toward a life fulfilled and joyful…

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”

Psalm 37:4

I’ve heard this read at weddings, and at other celebratory moments in life – those “sparkling” moments, if you will. It strikes me that we need “every day sparkle,” like the kind that happens on a cold winter day. The kind that shows up when a fun song hits the radio, throwing you back to your youth, when “adulting” hadn’t quite taken hold. The kind that makes you smile. We need this truth today.

Today’s simple thought is this: I am praying over each of you right now that God might remove any “yuck” and provide a path of clarity, richness and pure DELIGHT for you and those you love. I hope you will join me in elevating the SPARKLE this week.

Rewind! This is a throwback post that really spoke to me from 2019.

Black History month matters: A call for us all to take action

For some reason, It seems to me that I have always had a desire to “read up”, if you will, to better understand men and women who looked differently than I do. I’d like to say it came from hours around a dinner table of parents or grandparents that stressed the importance, and even made efforts to expose me, but that wouldn’t be true. At work this week, we were referencing the classic, “What you talkin’ ’bout, Willis,” line from the 1978-1985 iconic show, “Diff’rent Strokes,” so perhaps that is the genesis.

More than likely, however, is that some brilliant teacher planted a seed early on. (And that my friends is why we should all love and pay great respect to our teachers!).

Here’s the thing: While I have always had this desire, it continually seems to hit me in the face that I still don’t know enough. My efforts are good, but not acceptable – at least to me. It shouldn’t be the case that in America today that, at age 51 (almost 52), I am learning that Rosa Parks wasn’t the first to refuse to give up her seat on a bus. There were actually several before her – such as 15-year old Claudette Colvin, who was studying the great inequality injustice at the time, and opted for a bold move to make her point. I read her story just today. By the way, she also ended up in jail.

More grave is a story I learned two years ago, when my friend and mentor Tanesha, took me to a Black History event held at the University of Missouri Kansas City campus. Shocked, lump in your throat, disturbed…. all may be a good way to describe how I felt when finding out that of the 12.5 million Africans shipped to the New World via the Translantic Slave Trade, that fewer than 388,000 arrived in the United States. (According to PBS.com.) That means that over 12 million men, women, children… loving grandparents, respected community members… all died A tragic death during the journey. To put that in perspective, 6 million Jewish people were killed by Nazi Germany by the end of World War II and the Holocaust. (According to Guardian.com). It left me unraveled.

I hope that you knew this and that you have already made strides in using your influence to help us be better. If you didn’t, I hope this helps paint the picture that we need to work toward truly understanding the human experiences of our fellow countrymen/women. Society as a whole is impacted tremendously by history in many ways – psychologically, physiologically, socially, economically, etc. By studying and building awareness, even at the most cursory levels (although we shouldn’t stop there), we are able to move toward eradicating stereotypes, and improve society as a whole.

The founder of Black History Month, Carter G Woodson, considered his role was to use “black history and culture as a weapon in the struggle for racial uplift.” (Smithsonian Institute) That is a weapon we can all get behind. By 1916, he had established the Association for the Study of Negro Life and Culture with a goal of making black history accessible to a wider audience. In February of 1926, Black History Month launched in America. We might think that in 94 years we would have made such progress that this recognition wouldn’t be needed, however, the facts demonstrate this is not the case. Us American’s are a tough group. As the Smithsonian article I am referencing noted, “The chains of slavery are gone, but we are all not free.” The author’s final note describes slavery is an African American success story “because we found ways to survive, to preserve our culture and our families.” I appreciate that optimistic viewpoint.

I hope today’s blog offers you a bit of inspiration to do some research regardless of your race or background. I can assure you that it is worthy to always better understand those that God has placed to live this life out with us side by side. We are so much better together and beyond powerful when unified.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The power of visualization

WOW! I love inspirational messages like this one that so directly deliver a game changing thought.

I’d like to think I SHOW UP AS MY HIGHEST SELF every day, but I am not sure I can say I do this in every area of my life. For example, do I really walk out how I want to “show up” physically? As in, athletically speaking? Ouch… I don’t think so. Maybe a “pretty good” version, but highest? Definitely not.

Let’s pull the plane up a bit and back into the question of what exactly does your highest self look like?

If I were hitting my stride in full force, what would my highest self look like on an ideal day? My wake up time? Meals? Physical activity? Productivity? Would I design art? Write something breathtaking? Breathe deeply and eat nutritious and beautiful meals? Who would I surround myself with? How would I elevate my mind? Would I be reading classic literature or listening to stunning music? How about my relationships? Am I investing my energy well?

This is such a worthwhile question.

I hope you will not only visualize your highest self, but write out what that looks like and move ever closer to that each and every day.

So much love for you all. Let’s make it a beautiful week… honoring ourselves and those God has placed in our path by showing up fully.

Rewind! This is Partially a throwback post to one from 2019 that was just speaking to me this weekend.