To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Friendship

Rewind: Take a step up and laugh in the process

(This is a post from March 2016. Enjoy!)

I wanted to take today to offer a bit of humor with a life lesson! I also wanted to use the adorable picture of a donkey that I took in Nazareth while on my trip.

I know most of you have heard this story, but it’s worth repeating. Actually, it spoke to me, because there are a few stones coming in my path that I need to step up and over. I hope you not only find it funny, but that you  grab a little life lesson in there. (By the way, the story doesn’t seem to have an official owner, but whoever came up with it, thanks! We give you credit.)

The famous ‘donkey and the well’ story:

“One day, a farmer’s donkey fell deep into a well. The animal cried for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over & help him. They all grabbed a dirt & began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey didn’t realized what was happening & cried horribly. Then, to everyone’s amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel ­of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing.

He would shake it off & take a step up. As the farmer’s neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off & take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well & happily trotted off!

Always remember in life that:

  • Life is going to throw dirt on you.
  • The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up.
  • Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.
  • We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up, and by taking a step up.
  • In this world people will always throw stones in the path of your success, It depends on you..what you make from them a wall or a bridge!”

Now for the rest of this story…

“The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

The moral of the latter part of this story: When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you!”

Too funny! And a rich story about life – never quit, never surrender.

Grounded and grateful: 3 reasons to reconnect with friends

What fun it was to spend a day with my college sorority sisters on Saturday. I have to say, after not spending any quality time with them over the past 25+ years, our time felt like we were still 19 hanging out talking about God knows what.

Today, my hope is that you will find value in connecting with some of your friends from the past. Here are a few reasons why it’s a good idea:

  1. They GROUND YOU! Sure, we have all moved on and experienced life, but these gals know me. They know me before the career, the family, the kids, the deaths, the divorce… Yes, life may change you, but your CORE is the same, and surrounding yourself with the folks who knew you “back then” is refreshing. I’m certain that if we would have had access, we would have permed our hair, put on some thick blue eyeliner, and sported some killer 1980s outfits!
  2. They INSPIRE YOU! This one I hadn’t really thought of and it was the most surprisingly cool part of the weekend. These ladies have gone through so much and despite it all, they have persevered and came out a quarter of a century or more later better and more beautiful. I felt like I could get through anything by hearing their stories.
  3. They PROPEL YOU! I know we were friends and we probably cheered each other on during college to some degree, but let’s be honest, at that point in our life we are all trying to get through, to achieve, to aspire, to move up the ladder of life. In other words, I’m not sure we propelled each other forward on purpose. What I know now, is that the encouragement these ladies gave me over the weekend is enough to keep me pedaling and pushing ahead.

We all need to be in “community,” and connected, and although I have an absolutely wonderful group of friends and colleagues, coming back to “home base” for me was notable. My encouragement is for you to reach out, schedule some meaningful time, tell the stories that “made you” and where you’ve been, what your hopes are…

It may be some of the best time you have spent in years… It was for me!

Go ahead, jump the fence!

(Photo creds: We Heart it)

Having the right photo or image is always important to me when I prep for a blog. I told my son I wanted to do something funny today – something to perhaps add some levity to our day and get away from anything too serious.

Initially, this idea of “jumping the fence” was captured in a conversation about diversity and the need for us to not be afraid to experience different cultures, food, people, environments, etc. That is still a good idea, but what’s better (I hope for you too) today is this perspective of the image.

Through all of the stress that America has realized over the last few months, and what seems like a never-ending back and forth accelerated by social media, WE REALLY NEED TO LAUGH.

So maybe this photo captures how you feel as you try to get away from your friends’ viewpoints on Trump…? Or, perhaps you had so much fun watching the Grammy Awards on Sunday that you gave some thought to changing career paths to become a rock star… You know you’ve got that image now of you on Monday morning with your blazer on and your friends cheering you on running & jumping toward your new found PATH TO GLORY.

No matter what it is, make it a demonstration of fun, friends and no doubt a lot of laughs. (By the way, that may be me struggling to even get up the dang fence.)

I’m in the mood to jump the proverbial fence into brighter territory. Into something meaningful and beautiful and truly FUN. Grab your tribe this weekend and create some memories filled with laughter!

Yes, we can develop GRIT! 4 ways to move forward!

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

I just wrapped up reading the bestseller, “GRIT, The Power of Passion and Perseverance” by Angela Duckworth. It will definitely be on the top of my reading list for this quarter.

I got almost through it, and thankfully there was an entire section at the end devoted to “Growing grit from the outside in.” As I poured through the book, I was hoping it did not say that if you or your kids did not have this critical life skill that you were out of luck. There are plenty of character qualities that are innate, and that are hard to develop if you don’t have them. (At least that’s what they taught me in behavioral management training. Judgment by the way is one of those…)

The great news is that WE CAN DEVELOP GRIT. Whew!

“First and foremost, there’s no either/or trade-off between supportive parenting and demanding parenting. It’s a common misunderstanding to think of “tough love” as a carefully struck balance between affection and respect on the one hand, and firmly enforced expectations on the other. In actuality, there’s no reason you can’t do both,” Duckworth writes.

As a parent of 20-year-old boys, I can say that this is more than true in my experience. Having said that, I think my personality was a little too “supportive.” Of course I demanded respect, and still do, but firmly enforcing doesn’t sound much like my house, which isn’t really a good thing.

Thankfully this blog isn’t about me, but I do feel it’s important to be authentic. My boys are amazing, but perhaps I could do more to impress the critical importance of GRIT. So, what I thought was really cool in this book, was a little segment on “Doing Hard Things.” I did at one time write a blog on this, but a different focus to the concept. Here’s what I found valuable that I hope you get something out of, too:

The author’s family employed a three-part “Hard Thing Rule.”

  1. Everyone, including mom and dad, has to do a hard thing. A hard thing is defined by something that required deliberate practice. (Her example as a mom was that she studies psychological research, but also that she is trying to employ a yoga practice.)
  2. You can quit, but you CAN’T quit until the season is over. Listen up, that means high school and college kids should be “grittier” when it comes to sticking with classes. The hard classes that we all want to relieve ourselves of… YOU MUST FINISH WHAT YOU BEGIN.
  3. YOU GET to pick your hard thing. Nobody picks it for you. Mom and dad, you can’t decide your 10 year old should be a piano player. She really does a nice job of explaining that her kids cycled though dozens of interests to get to something they enjoyed.

They had a fourth added after their children got to a mature age… this was…

4. Must commit to at least one activity, either something new or something they’ve started. In other words, you cannot just decide you aren’t going to actively be practicing something. Think of the natural tendency to stop sports after graduation.

I like this “hard thing” concept and am thinking through how we might approach the idea in our family. Heck, I think all of us can do this. What I really like is that as you get older, you have to push each other to exercise, to stay strong, to sharpen your mind, etc., and that my friends is GRIT. We need to keep growing it at all ages in order to live out our lives of purpose.

If you are a reader, pick up this one. It is truly a game changer.

Simple thoughts Sunday: We can’t do it alone

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

Many of you might know that Exodus is at the front of the Bible. I truly love the lessons I have learned by focusing on Old Testament wisdom over the last several years. It is clear that God knew right up front that we needed some solid advice on how to navigate life. This particular bit of advice is a key message that I can use over and over again. I hope you hear the message speaking directly to you, because I know for sure that many – if not most of us – don’t do this well.

I don’t know what “it” is for you, but I do know that regardless of whether it’s the simple act of getting through the day – sailing a proverbial boat – or a large project like getting out of debt or starting a new business… we are not supposed to get through it alone. We are meant to be a community, bringing others alongside us to accomplish our purpose.

I hope that this week you will put down the phone and think through what areas of your life you might need to delegate with the help of your community at school, work and home to be BETTER than you could be on your own.

Side note: As a mom, I hope all of you parents don’t hesitate to field some work to the kids… They need it… (note the “tough love” language in the verse). Tuesday we talk about developing “grit” in our homes and this is a good step.

Getting to the BEST YES

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

My friend and I were strolling through a string of boutiques and this shirt immediately grabbed my attention. It’s a hoot. It seemed that everyone that saw it got a good chuckle. (I’m not sure how many they’ve sold because, afterall, who has the guts to actually wear the shirt. I’m trying to get mine up the level where I will.)

It’s funny because it is sooo true. It seems all of us say “YES” to too many events that, at least initially, had the promise of being something we just had to attend. When the time comes, we are struggling to answer the question of why we said we’d go in the first place. I mean wouldn’t it be better to stay in… you’ve had a long week, and heck, it’s only 26 degrees outside. Maybe yes… maybe no…

A couple of years ago, author Lysa TerKeurst, wrote a nice little read on the topic of the “BEST YES.” The book offers insight into why we say yes in the first place and also how to rethink our decisions so we can get to the VERY BEST YES for ourselves at any given season of our life. She deals with the fear we have of not achieving what we need/want if we stop attending every networking event, etc. – and much more. It’s terrific and you should grab it if it’s interesting to you at all.

This is a short post today, but I want to say that for us to truly get to where we are living our purpose and serving at our highest level, we HAVE TO get to the BEST YES. That means, not attending that party, shower, happy hour… every single time.

It means looking at our priorities and ensuring our calendar is lined up with whatever we need to do to achieve our purpose. I only wish it were that easy. Perhaps we can cheer each other on to ensure everyone is truly choosing their BEST YES. We will all be better for it! No judgement! 🙂 Have a great week.

Solving pain points by generating ideas

(Photo Creds: We Heart it)

“We all have, let’s say, two or three dozen massive pain points in our lives that everyone can relate to. I try to basically write about those, and then I try to write about how I attempted to recover from them.”  James Altucher, quoted in Tim Ferris’ new book ‘Tools of Titans,’ which I highly recommend.

James is a hedgefund manager, entrepreneur and best selling author. I agree with this statement, but hesitate to think I have an even two dozen pain points to deal with, unless you count my lack of patience waiting for the elevator. At any rate, he may be overly stressed or just counting his “elevator” issues. Regardless, I found this section in Tim’s new book compelling. The one liner that caught my attention:

“James made his specialty exploring his own pain and fear.” (By generating ideas.)

Essentially, “what if” we walk straight into those issues and ask some really good questions to get us to the other side… James recommends WRITING DOWN 10 IDEAS EACH DAY for the sake of focusing your brain on generating a creative thinking habit. If you get in the routine and then are confronted with one of those pain points – think that ONE person at work, school, etc that just is beyond your comprehension – you will be able to more efficiently work through the issue because this “brain/creative muscle” has developed.

I have identified below some of his sample “lists” which I think some are just fun. I’m going to try this exercise and I’d love to hear about it if you do!

Sample Lists:

  • 10 ridiculous things I would invent
  • 10 books I could write
  • 10 things I disagree with that everyone else assumes is religion
  • 10 people I want to be friends with
  • 10 things I learned yesterday
  • 10 ways I can save time
  • 10 things I was interested in as a kid that might be fun to explore now (hello, teeter tot and tether ball)

I think I’ll start with….

10 ways I could serve better this year! How fun would it be if you each sent me 10 blog ideas? I’d so love that!

Happy Tuesday everyone!

It’s time to pick your ONE WORD!

(Photo Creds: We Heart It, and thanks to my son Sam who, when asked what is a visual that inspires him, he quickly said an eagle… a perfect choice!)

It’s that time of year! Last year I introduced this concept on the blog after having done it for a few years. I simply love this idea and it has had great meaning to me and the stories I have heard have been equally cool. Many of you shared your words with me. Words like…

Curiosity

Amplify

Discipline

Trust

Fun

Accelerate

Focus

My word this year has been “deeper.” Deeper friendships, going deeper in my faith, my career… deeper meaning.

I usually pray that God will give me the word that I should focus on… I’m not 100 percent sure this is the word, but it’s been sticking around in my head for a few weeks, so I think it may be it. The word is significance, as in “true significance.” Where do I get this? How can I lead a significant life? How do I truly help those in need and live out the commands in the bible to help the poor? I am one person, but have a true desire to help meaningfully. What does that look like?

Life is an incredible journey and one thing is for sure, and that is that we do not know from day to day where the road may take us. What we can do is live with intention and move toward what we believe is what will create for us the most fulfilled and well-lived life.

So, what is your word? Please share it if you want!

Raise a glass to those that help you be you!

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

As we all get prepared to spend the next few days with those we love, and that God has surrounded us with, I thought this quote was ideal.

Acknowledging those that help us along the way – that cheer us on through prayer, kind words or even constructive criticism – is so very important. It takes a bit of extra time and thought, but being intentional about this can truly deepen your relationships and increase your own happiness.

There are times when we get overwhelmed with people or processes – or just life. If we can stop and take time to write out the reasons we appreciate those people it really shifts our thoughts to the positive.

I think I’m going to write a letter of blessing to my boys and maybe a few others. I am also going to spend some time during the pre and post-holiday meals to thank those that have had true meaning in my life, such as my grandma Zillhart. Every year, she pretty much stuns us all with the most amazing prayer of gratitude before our family holiday meals. That simple prayer enriches the lives of my boys and myself. The little things… they are the big things.

I hope that you will take time to “call out” those who help you achieve your best and if you’d like I know the readers would love to hear your story!

Joy is a function of gratitude and gratitude a function of perspective

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This phrase stopped me in my tracks. I was simply reading yesterday’s advent message and I had to take a moment to let this idea soak in. I get the idea that once we are grateful we can be more joyful. That seems simple to grasp. If I can understand how blessed I am and call those areas out, my life is happier and more joyful.

The second part hit me, because I think since gratitude does have to come first and we have to realize it’s not that simple if your perspective has shifted. Like most of you, I have many friends and family that have a different perspective due mainly to unfathomable loss that they have experienced. This can be in their health or of someone they care for, loss of a relationship, or even the sudden loss of a loved one. THESE REAL LIFE REALITIES NO DOUBT SHIFT your perspective and possibly can get some stuck in “neutral.”

This “neutral” creates, in some situations, not necessarily a heart nor soul that is ungrateful but a heart that can’t quite get to full gratitude and joy. After all, the pain is real, and our human nature causes us to not easily hurdle over pain to shouting joy to the world.

So, what to do? As you know, the goal of my writing almost always goes back to how to best SERVE WELL in our homes, communities and workplaces/schools etc. We really need to remember that we have an entire world around us that isn’t feeling joyful during this season. We need to maintain an empathetic PERSPECTIVE and do what we can to be that smile and that listening ear to possibly help move someone out of neutral and into gratitude & ultimately joy.

Have an amazing holiday weekend!