To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Family

Family: Your first team

Family connections run deep.

No matter what your family looks like or how dysfunctional they may be, family creates a bond like no other.

Family sees us at our worst and our best: tears of joy and pain. It’s raw, but a good raw.

Family is vulnerability.

They have seen the real us and vice versa, and they stick around regardless of whether they like what they see.

Even if we step away or create a distance, we are drawn back because, well, family is family.

Like many of you, over the years I went to extended family reunions as a child and thought it was fun, but totally missed the meaning. I watched my boys and was surprised that they seem to realize and honor the depth of family at a young age, and valued its importance.

That has me thinking: We all could use a reminder to really invest in this area. It’s easy to put family on the back burner unless, like children, they need us for survival. Family will be there and we know it.

For that very reason, we should make a concentrated effort to invest and honor them every chance we get. Say thank you, show appreciation, lift them up… We do this in the work place and we do it with our friends, but do we tell our favorite uncle that he really means a lot to us? What about telling him that his service to our country brings you so much pride and gratitude? I don’t do this enough.

Let’s pay attention and make some investments in those who are our greatest cheerleaders. Who’s with me?

(Rewind: This is a revamped post from 2017, because it rings true now and always.)

2017, The final review: Books I loved

Reading — and continuous learning in general, really — is among the top three things we can do to grow personally, if you ask me.

I realized I wrapped up 2017 without my final reading list, so I thought today would be a great day to get this on the record. In fact, as February kicks off, I hope you will find one that interests you enough to grab a copy on Amazon or your local bookstore.

With the temperatures still hovering around freezing, it’s the perfect time to shut off the television and jump into learning! (For many, it’s getting lost in a fictional story. I seem to prefer nonfiction. Whatever you fancy, the practice expands your mind, imagination and thinking so go for what you love.)

Here are some thoughts on a few books that I loved in particular, but my full reading list from May through December is at the end:

Higher is Waiting, Tyler Perry

  • Why I loved it: Frankly I just love Tyler Perry (AKA Madea), so it didn’t matter what it was — I knew I’d probably like it. The thing is, his book is pure gold. This is where I got the idea from a December blog to ask those you love to write you a letter versus giving a gift. I did this and my boys and my mom wrote me the most wonderful, personal letters. I will cherish them forever and make this an annual practice. Books like this provide us those “gems” that enrich our lives.

Side Hustle, Chris Guillebeau

  • Why I loved it: Our current economy is sometimes referred to as the “gig” economy. What this means is that many people have made it a practice to have many “side” streams of income coming in. Chris promises to go from an idea to income in 27 days. This is a simple and practical little book that highlights ideas and stories that just might be a game changer for you.

A Resilient Life, Gordon MacDonald

  • Why I loved it: First of all, let’s just say that I really loved it! I have gifted it multiple times now and paid my boys to read this one. If they soak up even a part of it, their lives will change in the best possible ways. The book is older and full of wisdom. It is a Christian perspective on business and life. Some of the ideas that got me thinking: Who stretches your mind? Who listens to and encourages your dreams? When forming your group of close friends, you might ask: Who will protect you? Those alone are worth the price of the book and that is just a glimpse. If you only pick up one of these, pick this.

Whisper, Mark Batterson

  • Why I loved it: Mark is my very favorite Christian author. His book the Circle Maker is another I gift often. Mark’s books are full of stories, science and studies that compel you to be better and stronger. This book is about hearing from God and how we do so. I loved his story about Pure Delight: “Seven times in the book of Genesis, God steps back from the canvas of his creation and admires. It is his reaction and is expressed as “good” which comes from the Hebrew work tob… joy unspeakable. That first emotion sets the tone, sets the bar. God delights in what he does and he wants nothing less for us.”

Of Mess and Moxie, Jen Hatmaker

  • Why I loved it: Jen is hilarious and inspiring. She captures motherhood — and she has her hands full to say the least, so she knows the job well. One of my favorite quotes in the book she attributed to Brennan Manning: “Many people between the ages of 30 and 60, whatever their stature in the community and whatever their personal achievements, undergo what can truly be called a second journey. The second journey begins when we know we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the morning program.” It’s good.

Unscripted, Ernie Johnson Jr.

  • Why I loved it: This one is especially for the men but good for everyone. I pick up books like this so I can better understand my boys. Ernie is a long-time NBA commentator and the books takes us through his journey, including a fierce battle with cancer. I loved this concept: “God has given us many moments that blessed us and blessed those who seek them. I call those blackberries (blackberry moments). If get get too tied up in what we’re doing in our jobs, in the game, in whatever it is, we miss them, and when we do, we’re missing out on so much.”

Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes

  • Why I loved it: I heard 100 times how great this was before I picked it up. It IS that good. Go get this one for sure. It’s fun, useful and is exactly what the title says about making a decision to get out and say yes to things, including and especially those that scared Shonda.

Braving the Wilderness, Brene Brown

  • Why I loved it: Another amazing work from Brene who has blessed us with game-changing TED Talk, “The Power of Vulnerability,” and three other terrific books. Brene is a research professor at the University of Houston and lives out a life of impact. She covers why joy and pain are collective journeys, including the need to “show up” to experience these with those you love and why it is so powerful. So many good concepts that you really should read the book.

She’s Still There, Chrystal Evans Hurst

  • Why I loved it: I think this is her first book. She comes from a family of writers and musicians. I have to say, this was an amazing read. She could have titled it different, but it is full of great insights and inspiration. One idea I noted and love, “Schedule celebration moments monthly.” Love that.

Quiet, Susan Cain

  • Why I loved it: There is a reason this book has earned so much notoriety. It’s one about introverts, and as someone who is just over the edge into being an extrovert, I adored this book and the science and thinking behind the work. This should be a must-read for anyone who works with people, including parents. One of the thoughts: “One genuine relationship is worth a fistful of business cards.” True, true and true!

Black Privilege, Charlamagne tha God

  • Why I loved it: I loved it because it is SO out of my normal category of books. The language and approach aren’t quite my cup of tea but, we MUST learn and grow by understanding others and this is a great way to do it. Charlamagne is a popular co-host on the nationally syndicated hip-hop iHeart Radio program the Breakfast Club, and a featured television personality. He tells his story in a way that makes you feel like you were a part of it. His quote: “If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this book, it’s that privilege is something that everyone can access.” It’s worth your time.

Tribe of Mentors, Tim Ferris

  • Why I loved it:  Tim Ferris may be my favorite author at the moment. Last year he wrote Tools of Titans and his famous 4-hour work week, that he wrote a few years ago, are both best sellers. This book is essentially “short life advice” from who he considers some top contemporary influencers in our society today. It’s easy to read and full of wonderful ideas. He asks the same series of questions to these influencers and showcases their answers. My favorite question was: “What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about how to enter the “real world?” With 200 answers to this, I think I sent 50 to my boys… Brilliant format and a must-read.

Let me know if you end of reading any of these. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy!

Getting to minimalism

It’s quite a topic. In fact, it’s #trending. Maybe it’s because it’s January and the holiday clutter is coming down. Or maybe it’s the overload of spending that happens as we celebrate. Or maybe you are disturbed by our culture and how we are lured into needing to have the latest and greatest (enter material item here).

If you’ve ever walked into the bedroom of a modern-day child, you’ve probably been overwhelmed by the amount of toys, and frankly, clutter. I don’t doubt they all came from friends and family with great intentions, but it’s still overwhelming. It’s like that feeling of opening the trunk of the car, the coat closet or that junk drawer and watching items fall out. Or when you look in one of those sacred spaces and realize you don’t even remember where some of the junk even came from.

Recently, I moved two times in just more than a year. I swear I purged and cleaned, but somehow it feels like a small army could come through and take enough stuff for their troops and I might not even notice. I’m not proud of that, and it’s disturbing because it doesn’t line up with my personal core values. These things somehow snuck in.

Might I suggest the Becoming Minimalist website? It’s about inspiring people to pursue their true and greatest passions by owning fewer possessions. Who wouldn’t want their lives simplified? Having less clutter makes way for more open space, and that frees up our minds to think and create. That, I believe, is where we get to the part about pursuing what is really important to us.

I like the tone of the website, encouraging “each reader to discover their own journey and the far-reaching benefits that come from owning less.” They pretty much leave it up to us to define what the word means for you and your family. This seems appropriate, since we all have different ideas, priorities and habits. I’ll list some of the benefits in one of the blog posts below, but preface it with this: They are good. In fact, I highly recommend you log on read more of their material as you process the idea of minimizing this week.

  • Spend Less (my favorite)
  • Less Stress
  • Easier to Clean
  • More Freedom
  • Good for the Environment
  • Be more Productive
  • Example for my Kids
  • Support other Causes (Money is only as valuable as what we choose to spend it on.)
  • Own higher quality items
  • Be happier

Those are reasons enough for me to focus on this.

I checked in with my friend I mentioned in Sunday’s blog and she said her family has had a lot of fun picking out items to donate, sell or give away during the first few days of the new year. She mentioned how “freeing” it was and that her kids are enjoying it, too!

There are a few other books on this topic. If you know of a good one, share it in the comments. The month of January is a great time to start books – and projects – like these! As for me, I think I’ll start with that drawer that has all of the kitchen tools in it. I’m not sure what some of them even are. (And to my boys reading this, this is your cue to laugh out loud.) 

VICTORY

I love these examples of VICTORY listed in good ol’ Merriam-Webster dictionary:

VICTORY lap

The general led the troops to VICTORY.

The passage of the law was a tremendous VICTORY for their cause.

It was a decisive VICTORY over the other team.

On Sunday, our family friends that play for the Buffalo Bills franchise had a BIG DAY!

After playing for 12 years as a pro bowl defensive tackle, Kyle Williams finally led his team to a playoff game!

The picture the Bills posted on social media says it all. Pure victory! We are so excited for him, and although we will cheer for our Chiefs, we love to see others be victorious! It’s one of the best parts of life, watching others succeed!

The picture inspired the post today.

One of you fine folks listed VICTORY as your word of the year. What would it look like to be VICTORIOUS at the end of 2018? Heck, what would it look like to be VICTORIOUS over the next few days?

I think I’m going to put this picture somewhere I can see it on a regular basis. It defines VICTORY. The effort, over time, to be consistent, disciplined and to showcase true grit and excellence is what I want to be about! That my friends is a VICTORIOUS life, and those moments should be celebrated!

Live, succeed.

Happy New Year to the BEST! I am so thankful for my readers!

I thought today for “Simple Thoughts Sunday” it would be good to share a practice that I feel is very helpful in processing your year. Tsh Oxenreider, author and founder of The Art of Simple crafted 20 questions that will help you think through the nitty gritty of the past year.

The process should help you set your focus and intentions on what you hope to achieve during this next trip around the sun. Here you go…

What was the single best thing that happened this year?

What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

What was an unexpected joy this past year?

What was an unexpected obstacle?

Pick three words to describe this past year.

Pick three words your partner, best friends or family, would use to describe your year- don’t ask them; guess based on how you think they see you.

Pick three words for them based on their year, again, without asking.

What were the best books books you read this year?

Who were your most valuable relationships with?

What was your biggest personal challenge from January-December?

In what ways did you grow emotionally?

In what ways did you grow spiritually?

In what ways did you grow physically?

In what ways did you grow in your relationships with others?

What was the most enjoyable part of your work, both professionally and at home?

What was the most challenging part of the same?

What was your single biggest time waster?

What was the best way you used your time?

What was the biggest thing you learned?

Create a phrase or statement that describes this past year for you.

(By the way, this is really hard for me this year… It’s been a “gritty” year and sometimes it seems like I haven’t made a lot of progress. I’m praying God reveals more to me over the next few days because one thing I have learned, is that progress isn’t always apparent at first!)

I hope you have a wonderful celebration today. I am excited to see what 2018 brings and believe fully that God will show up BIG in every single detail.

It’s that time of year…What is your one word?

It’s that time of year! I introduced this concept on the blog two years ago after having done it for a few years on my own.

I love this idea so much that it has great meaning to me. The stories I’ve heard have been equally cool. Many of you shared your words with me, and even yesterday someone already shared their word for 2018. I love it! Some of the words shared in past years have been:

Curiosity

Joy

Committed

Amplify

Discipline

Enough

Trust

Fun

Accelerate

Focus

My word this year has been “significance” or “stretch.” Reaching a level of “true” significance. Digging deeper into how to best use my gifts and skills in every area of my life. Honestly, I would say in retrospect it was way more of a “stretch” year than I imagined when I wrote this. In fact, I’m quite sure I’m still in that mode, trying to unwind that stretch a bit. I believe that I am always moving toward using these gifts, and that is something to celebrate.

Many ask how I come up with the “one word.” I start with praying that God will give me the word that I should focus on. As you all know, I read a lot. I will often see themes pop up and that guide me to my word. For this year, going into the last few days I believe I have been given the word “revival.”

There is a passionate, wise teacher I like named Dharius Daniels. He gave a sermon about revival as a “season or space of reintroduction.” God introduces himself again, exposes you more to your next assignment and gives you the insights needed to conquer that level, so to speak. That resonated with me. I’d like a REINTRODUCTION please! (We just saw Jumanji as a family on Christmas, so “levels” of the game are on my mind. Go see it if you want something fun and clever that requires no thinking.)  

As I shared last year, life is an incredible journey. One thing I know for sure after nearly five decades  is that we do not know day to day where the road may take us. So we do what we can, living with intention and moving toward what we believe will create the most fulfilled and well-lived life.

So, what is your word? Please share!

*For those who want to go deeper, there is actually a website where a community of people share their words, stories etc.

Time to DOWN SHIFT!

It’s that time of year when work winds down and we shift — as in “DOWN SHIFT” — our FOCUS to our friends and family. (Thank you Mic Johnson, @mictastic, for the term.) 

I know many of you are still working through this week, and I hope you are able to take some time off during these next couple of weeks. We are in a society of constant connectedness, and our brains need to be able to shut down & reboot so that we can CREATE MAGIC IN 2018!

Whether your thing is taking in the new Star Wars movie, doing absolutely nothing and sitting by the fire, binging on your latest Netflix fav, getting a pedicure with your girls or reading some great books, do whatever fulfills you! Research shows that our brains need a break!

“Push yourself through too many hours or days of work and your brain starts to push back. Ideas that once flowed easily dry up, and tasks that you should be able to perform quickly become excruciatingly difficult,” according to Scientific American.

I personally don’t need too much convincing. My mind and body begs for me to take a break! I will be taking off Sunday and Tuesday from the blog, but please know I wish you the very best and am praying for each of you to be filled with the all the peace and joy the season can offer!

The best gift idea

I found one of the best ideas I have heard in a while in Tyler Perry’s new book, “Higher is Waiting.” It’s a gem, and the type of read that is quick with some game changing takeaways.

This was one of those game changers — I hope you agree. In fact, I liked it so much that I told my boys, sister, brother and parents that this is exactly what I want and nothing else. (I did ask for it to be gift-wrapped since there’s such a thrill in opening presents!)

I’m as guilty as almost everyone else in that the days seem to suck me in and spending thoughtful time writing out my thoughts to a loved one is not something I do well. Sure, I send text messages, birthday cards and Facebook posts, but sitting down and giving thought only to that person who means so much… not my strong suit. In fact, I get a pretty low score on this… or maybe no score at all. So, I’m stealing this idea from Mr. Perry this Christmas and plan to write a few myself.

Have the best weekend yet this year!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: A week of serving well

I am so THANKFUL it’s THANKSGIVING WEEK!

I have to admit, it feels too early this year. But nevertheless, I’m ready to hug some folks!

I don’t know about you but Thanksgiving has to be one of the best creations ever. If you give it some thought, it’s not only about being thankful and spending time with those we love, but it is rooted in SERVICE. Service and honor to those we love. Generations have been built on those gatherings where true service and love were the main ingredients, strengthening our families and communities. What could be better?

As I read Rick Warren’s quote above, I think about how we can use a season like this to truly serve well. To not only serve our families and friends but to look out and consider those who may not have been served in anyway this year. I think of patients that I have met who looked forward to their doctor appointments because it was the only time during the year they felt cared for.

We must remember that for some, we are their only smile, their only human interaction with kindness. What a great opportunity we have. Service is as simple as a smile and the great news is that whatever our situation, we have all been given the gift of service.

Have such an amazing week.

 

 

 

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The Lord WILL give you the desires of your heart

Happy Birthday Sam, Tucker and Joe.

My beautiful young men are 21 today. They are my greatest blessing. I truly believe the scripture on this photo collage. If you don’t know my story, I was told I likely would not have children. In fact, I was given an 11% chance, and that was with the help of modern medicine. With a magical touch of God’s hand, we were blessed with three boys that I know will impact our world.

Whatever your desires are today… for love, healing, joy, peace, fun… my prayer is that you will feel God right in the middle.

Have the best year ever boys, and know that you indeed have filled the desires of my heart.

By the way… it’s time for new pictures! 🙂