To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Family

Are you giving this season what it deserves?

blog_841442_2960922_1475115145(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

I was talking with my trainer, Amy Gipson, yesterday and our conversation always goes to the season we are in. Life’s seasons, that is. Although I have found they often follow the actual seasons.

Fall is certainly one of the busiest seasons, and approaches us after one of longer days – hopefully some relaxing ones, too – and the opportunity to soak up the sun. Although we know it’s coming, fall happens upon us almost as a shock to our systems, and soon school starts, work amps up and community activities launch into full speed. In general we become deluged with activities and an instinct to drive toward hitting all of those goals that we started the year with. The fourth quarter push!

Today I wanted to talk about the idea of “embracing the season.” Ask yourself:
“Am I giving this season what it deserves?”

Amy and I both agreed that in order to really give it what it deserves, we have to be intentional with setting boundaries and playing to what our priorities are during this season. If we don’t, somehow the PTO’s priorities become ours and we end up frustrated and overwhelmed.  (The PTO is called other things throughout life: professor, boss, you get the picture.) The idea of balance is probably a myth, but what isn’t a myth is that our balance needs to be monitored, and eventually it must balance for us to stay sane and thriving. It’s truly okay for some days to be 60/40, others 80/20, as long as it measures out in the end in a way that optimizes your life in a holistic way!

As you go into your weekend, spend some time ensuring that you are truly giving this season what it deserves. It may require a few modifications in order to give you and your family peace of mind and allow you to fully embrace it. Several months ago I blogged about that idea of counting our days… According to the “timeanddate.com” app as of today, I have 6,739 days until retirement, and 13,314 days remaining in my life expectancy. That adds up to 144 seasons (calendar seasons that is), or 36 more falls, summers, springs and winters. I don’t know about you but I was thinking that number would be higher…. I am committed to making them count and giving them all what they deserve.

The time is now to EMBRACE THE SEASON.

Choosing who to do life with!

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(Photo Creds:  We Heart It… I so love this picture!)

Life is full of decisions. Decisions on where to go to college, what to study, who to marry, where you will live and grow your family, how you will respond to life in the good and bad times, and perhaps at the top of the list, who you choose to “do life with” in your circle of friends.

Some are lucky enough to meet people in elementary school and still count them as close friends. Some find these friends in college dorms and late night conversation. Some in the workplace, some in church, some in neighborhoods and soccer field side lines. Some by happenstance, some are given to you as a gift and we call those family. We know they change at different times in our life and that is both cool and needed.

What’s important is that we choose wisely. These are the folks that both wipe our tears, lift our spirits, share our dreams, and celebrate with us. They don’t always have to be in our presence, but we are always in their thoughts and prayers. These are the people that run our fan club and don’t judge us when we inevitably say something crazy or simply need to have a pity party. They get us out of the house when we most need it and spur us on through a Tuesday morning text or a Facebook comment that reminds us that they are indeed cheering us on regardless of where we both may be at the moment.

Folks, these people are the “real deal” the one’s that SHOW UP for you and we need them desperately. I think no matter what your age, we should reassess from time to time whether we are truly surrounded with the people that we most need in our lives. People with a positive and honest spirit, and make us better by their presence and concern. If they don’t meet these requirements, perhaps we don’t need to take them into the next season.

I’ve seen this need in both 70 year olds and in elementary school students. Humans are designed to live in communities, and making this process of evaluation an “intentional” part of our life plan ensures that we are surrounded by the support, love and care that we all need to get through this crazy world.

I would love to know if this resonates with you. In the meantime, I’m thinking of just how I could come up with the setting featured in this photo, and invite my circle to celebrate fall in proper fashion!

Domino effect: The power of our decisions

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I quickly finished Mark Batterson’s latest book, Chase the Lion. It’s my new pick for the best book of 2016.

(Having said that, I believe I owe you a toplist for this past period/quarter.)

This concept really became magnified to me as I was soaking in his multiple messages. It is simply amazing and you should stop and order it right now!

He goes into great length in one excerpt explaining the science behind the energy gained from a simple, tiny domino pushing over, it’s impact and so on. He talked specifically about not despising small beginnings, which is always a solid message, but my mind wandered to the chain reactions that are made from our decisions….

That word of encouragement you gave to that young middle school girl who is questioning her beauty and really herself. What was, or will be the impact of that? Potentially you set a course correction in her day, and perhaps her life.

That risk you took, to ask that girl to marry you, or to say YES to that handsome man? You ended up with a family and happiness and even a dog… and together have enriched the lives of so many in your neighborhood…

What if you didn’t join that group, get that honor, spend that week in that conference that helped you build knowledge to land your dream job?

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The Domino effect is cool. It’s big stuff. It’s something worth thinking about. As you build your “story” and develop an intentional life, you grow and become more aware and you can help guide those reactions. In the meantime, I marvel at the chain reactions set off by so many who have touched my life unknowingly. The teachers, the counselors, the friends, the young camp counselor encouraging a young mom, the motivational speaker hoping his words landed in someone’s conscious.

Who in your life started a tiny domino effect that ended up changing your world? What decision? What Risk? What dream that you acted on?

(Photo creds: We Heart It, Ruthie Stark Photography)

Why you need to know Natalie!

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I so hope everyone is taking time to read this today.  Who doesn’t love this picture? This picture is full of soul, but more on that below.

This, my friends, is an extraordinary gal we can all learn from… NATALIE! I personally never met her, which just doesn’t seem right to me since her father is one of those business colleagues that you love to see on your schedule. Him and his wife, lost this sweet girl Natalie after a battle against cancer three years ago. As you can imagine (and many of you know first hand), it is a pain that never quite heals.

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However, with their faith and belief that we are here on this planet to serve, her family is using her legacy to help and serve others. I love that so much. They have created a wonderful non-profit that centers around Pediatric Cancer and specifically in:

Raising Awareness (A)
Funding Research (R)
Improving the Treatment experience (T)

(Natalie was quite the young artist, so the name for their efforts was a natural one.)

This Saturday morning, if you are in KC and in town, please join a whole bunch of others that want to jump in and support these efforts. The events are being held at South Creek Office Park, 7200 W 132nd street in Overland Park (135th and Metcalf approximately). You can get the details off of the website, too. I know Steve and his family would love to have you there! I’m walking with a team so join me!

I want to say a few words about this picture, and really this quote. “Skipping through life.” That quote quite literally CAPTURED me. These were the words of one of Natalie’s teachers and this picture to me depicts a brave and beautiful girl ready to conquer the world. I put the two together because truly a life well lived is an all out life. One where we take the good and the bad and we don’t quite walk or run, sometimes we trip, and fall and sometimes we SKIP. When is the last time you SKIPPED? We need more skipping! We need to be like the Fleischaker family, and take a life event that is down right awful and turn it into something magical, something helpful, something that SERVES WELL. We only have a bit of time on this planet, so I hope you take this weekend to SKIP AND SERVE! (And again, JOIN US IF YOU AT ALL CAN!  I PROMISE IT WILL BE AN INSPIRATIONAL MORNING!)

Choose what you magnify!

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This is SO USEFUL! With the start of a new school year and the rigor of work getting fired up to its normal level, August can be stressful.

I have heard many a friend or colleague share their personal “madness” around this time of year. My own family is feeling the pressure with college starting back up. I remember August when the boys were elementary, middle and high schoolers, and it ranks right up there with my view of pure chaos. (For God’s sake if I need to bring Gatorade to another game, get another PTA email begging someone to sign up to help… Friday concessions anyone? Science Fair chair?) 

This chaos is the kind you feel when you get awakened in the middle of the night, aren’t even awake and yet know you need to take action, as in now. It can be rough folks. The sleepless nights, low grade anxiety or full blown freak-out mode… we can get caught up in the push and pull of this season.

I had this friendly reminder come across my email in a bit of a different form earlier this week. I have actually found a use for it more than a few times this week and hope you may find it inspiring as well. As you roll into your week, CHOOSE TO MAGNIFY all things that drive you to YOUR BEST SELF. You of course can choose to magnify the transition, the stress, the fact that your heart rate is increasing due to the anxiety of a new instructor, boss, etc., and all of the family/friend “stuff” that can consume us. YOU CAN ALSO CHOOSE TO MAGNIFY the JOY that can definitely be found. CHOOSE TO DO THAT! I promise your week will be BETTER if you do so. SInce it’s Sunday, here is a favorite Bible verse to meditate on that has the same thought in mind:

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” (Phil 4:8 NLT) 

MAGNIFY ALL THINGS EXCELLENT THIS WEEK!

What this moment demands

blog_826026_2943120_1471295314Every moment and season of our lives seems to require something different. This blog is a shout out to not only my son Sam (pictured above), but the thousands of camp counselors (student) at Pine Cove Camps, Kanakuk Camps, Camp Barnabas, (and the many other great camps) that have literally given themselves fully this summer to serve others. In their endless days, with little sleep and millions of calories burned, they encounter moment after moment where they have to ask this question: “What does this moment demand?”

A child that is just flat-out tired today and not into the “camp games,” one that isn’t feeling well, one that has more energy than Katie Ledecky and yet another that, no matter what, jumps on you when you least expect it. In every situation, these students have LEARNED to ADAPT, RISE and ULTIMATELY TO SERVE WELL. I haven’t gotten to talk at a deep level with Sam yet, but my mom’s intuition tells me that Sam learned more than he could have imagined and he has a new point of view of what personal sacrifice and dedication looks like.

As we think through this idea of “What does this moment demand,” I believe we also often are required to ADAPT AND RISE UP.

What are you encountering in your life right now? Last week, we talked about hard conversations, and that is certainly an area that requires something different from us. Some others might include…

A friend that just received a cancer diagnosis. What is required of us as their friend? How do we need to RISE to the occasion. How do we need to adapt our life to be there for them and their family?

A child that is struggling in middle school. What is required in this case? Do we need to educate ourselves and read everything we can on these struggles? Do we need to take the time to have meaningful conversations with the school leaders/teachers involved? How can we best serve that child in THIS MOMENT?

A local small business that could use some publicity… Do we even have a role here? You bet! Social media is a tremendous tool today! Tell your friends… Give them a shout out… What else? A community struggling with conflict. Where to even start?

We start by ADAPTING, LEARNING… by RISING UP to the MOMENT!

(Photo creds: Pine Cove Camps)

Hard conversations

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I think I’d rather stick with my Olympic insights because those ARE FUN and this week as I’ve watched a few of the key races it has been exhilarating to watch the athletes shine. However, I just knew that I also had to get this one out there.

I am not sure about you, but hard conversations are never fun. But at the same time, they almost always create a step forward. I think it’s important that we all realize just how important these conversations are in healthy relationships. These, of course, span our personal lives, our community efforts and in the work place. In the past couple of months I have been engaged at some level with a few of these and I think it’s always worth sharing…

Our family had some tough conversations about a college change. Here’s the brief:

  1. A goal to move to a different college
  2. Concern from my son that we would not understand the whys and ultimately support the desire to make the change.
  3. Concern from both parents that our son was making the best decision for him. Not to mention the logistics, costs, etc.

So, what’s the big deal? The big deal is that these are big issues – potentially life-changing. My point is simple, even when you look at something objective, as in the three easy areas above, life is about conversation and sometimes, many times that generates a hard conversation.

The result of this conversation was that we had a family meeting to review the situation. Some pre-work was done on both sides in an attempt to create understanding. There were nerves going into the meeting and at the end of the day, it resolved well. (It was what at our office we call “healthy tension,” but everyone felt better at the conclusion.)

Key message: When we have the courage to tackle tough conversations, we can actually improve our relationships, create peace in our worlds and in my opinion move toward happiness in our lives. The alternative is not talking about the issues and living uncomfortably as everyone “guesses” what is really going on and peace is shattered.

I’ve had a few others…

My Mom wants to move to an assisted living community. It’s likely the best thing for her, so it seems like an easy decision. It’s not. It involves finances, concern of the impact of changes, etc.
At work there seems to always be an email misunderstanding; a conversation that raises your blood pressure… you get the point.

In all of these situations…
– Life is hard – Life can be easier if we approach “healthy tension” with courage and kindness, but it also takes work and preparations. Hard conversations almost always have a positive end result. Worst-case scenario, an attempt was made to get difficult issues out in the open and stirring in hearts and minds.

I’m confident you can think of one or two of these you need to have. Some ideas to get you thinking…

  • A conversation with a young child about how they sometimes “bend the truth” and the impact of that.
  • A conversation with a middle school child about the pressures they are about to face. Yes, middle school children are faced with all manner of moral challenges in today’s world.
  • A conversation with a friend who seems to be making wrong choices.
  • A conversation with a boss or team member who seems to constantly create disruption to your life.
  • My favorite:  A conversation you need to have with yourself!

As you work through this, my encouragement is that you do it and do it soon. Your relationships will be better because of it! BE BOLD! BE KIND! CARE DEEPLY!

Dear summer, please SLOW DOWN

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I am so excited to be back blogging. It was hard not to write each week because, well, I LOVE IT!

As you know, my great hope and prayer is that I touch someone with each post! I am often surprised when I hear from someone that I didn’t even know read the blog that they really appreciate the writing. So, in the past month I pretty much am thankful I made that decision even if it did create a disruption to this Type A personality.

We moved out of our home that we have lived in since the boys started kindergarten and you can imagine the drawers and closets that require attention. (For the record, I always felt like I purged along the way and much to my surprise, I am awful at this apparently because the gremlins just kept coming out of literally every corner, haha!) That project alone made it almost necessary to give it my full attention where it was needed. Can I say that I am feeling my age and disappointed in that as well. No one bothered to tell me that moving is equivalent to a marathon, or at least a half marathon at my age, and I WANT A STICKER FOR MY CAR for God’s sake! Ha!

Okay, so enough of that – Who is with me on the fact that we need to slow summer down!? I would normally say that fall is my favorite season, quickly followed my spring, but summer is gaining ground with me. Thanks to social media, we have access to all of the great things there are to do, as friends and family share their personal rituals from picnics to Theater in the Park to live music at a variety of venues each week to the coveted lake weekends. These ideas give us INSPIRATION to get out there and soak up the moments. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR SHARING YOUR ADVENTURES!

So, I know that school is starting soon, but let’s make a pact that we are going to ignore that little factor for this month. When I was young, you never started back until after Labor Day anyway… And that was clearly the best plan!

So regardless if some have to get their kids fired up early… Take advantage of the late nights, and make long weekends. Cranky and all… It’s worth it! Unless you have a junior in high school, then I recommend you takeaway a couple of those extra days… They catch up quickly and trust me it makes no difference. Kidnap the grandkids, have extra ice cream or frozen yogurt, make your Tuesday’s your Saturday’s and enjoy SUMMER all of the way until the cold sets in!

What will you do this month? Please share and give everyone inspiration!

SPUR ONE ANOTHER ON

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It’s Sunday. It’s Summer.

What better time to take a deep breath, soak up the late summer nights, catch a firefly or two, get around a picnic table, buy some corn on the cob from a local farmer, have a spontaneous gathering of friends over… SEEK COMMUNITY! ENCOURAGE AND LOVE ON ONE ANOTHER! DOGS AND CATS (and BIRDS FOR MY FRIEND AMY) INCLUDED!

Love this scripture, Love this reminder = Deposits are made in so many ways. I’d love to hear your ideas if you’d care to share!

Here’s to you and your tribe having the best week ever this SUMMER! MAKE IT SO!

(Photo Creds: The Zandstra Family – Just beautiful!)

Sling a little mud

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Kids of all ages love the thrill of mud. The dirt between your toes (haven’t felt that in a while) is good for the soul. Boys and men love the idea of going “muddling” in a super cool Jeep and feeling the mud hit the tires.

When we went to Pine Cove summer camps (my son Sam is a counselor there this summer… Love you Sam!), they have a game for the kid campers called “Buffalo Hunt.”  While I don’t know the particulars I do know that the pictures are sooooo much fun! I really never understood why we didn’t get to play as adults, but I’m guessing it’s something to do with the liability of hip replacements and alike – ha ha.

So why is play important? It just so happens that getting out in the dirt, and really nature is primal. It’s something we were meant to do… This article has some fun reasons why. Here are the two I loved:

  • MEMORIES! I think we all need to be mindful that creating memories are critical in our relationships, families, and to our legacy. Did we have fun? Why not get the whole team at work or the family around a big game involving dirt, mud and ADVENTURE. I think that is why the “mud” runs/5Ks, obstacle courses, etc are becoming so popular.   (ToughMudder.com is a great site if you are looking to launch into a true effort) Our souls CRAVE nature, play and togetherness. I dare you to go build a mud pit this weekend in the hot sun and sling a little mud.
  • Creative Thinking! For many of us, our best thinking comes when we are around the lake, mountains, long walks and just being out under the BIG SKY. I consider this a great take away and an inspiration for me to do more of this. As we often talk about here, living with intention is the path to GREATER DAYS and FULLER LIVES of EXCELLENCE AND JOY!

The weekend is upon us soon… What can you do to “stir” up a little fun?