To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Family

Love, admiration and respect: All relationship “must haves”

I just had to address this topic. You see, I had dinner with a friend last week and we were talking about our young men/women and relationships.

This is not the first conversation about this same topic that I’ve had in the past few years. I guess I’m at the age where the next phase of our kids’ lives could include a trip down the aisle. If you have younger kids, pay close attention. The conversation on intentional parenting, aunt-ing, grandparent-ing, etc. is worth it right now.

(Photo creds: Canva)

As you know, I read a lot. And soon, I’ll have 5 decades under my belt. Using Oprah’s popular lead in, “one thing I know for sure” is we need to be in relationships where we are loved deeply, admired and perhaps above all respected.

Most relationship experts say respect is a core need, particularly strong for a man, but also important for a woman. My grandparents backed this up. I once asked them their secret to marriage and they both said respect: “We may have disagreements, but we always keep them for after the event, and sit at the kitchen table until we resolve them — never taking our disagreements public.”

While men may have a top need for respect, women need to be admired and that means acknowledging often so there is no question she is adored.

I think we are in a little bit of a crisis. Sure, I think most get the whole love thing. What seems to be missing is the time and attention necessary to build and show admiration, adoration and respect. We need to up the game early so that our young children understand just how important this is. Being in a relationship with someone that leaves you at a party to hang with their friends, doesn’t invest time in tender conversations, doesn’t want to spend time with your friends/family… I could go on, if you can’t tell. All are things I’ve heard and have seen lately.

Folks, please don’t blow this off. We have an entire generation that perhaps hasn’t seen this modeled well. TV and movies probably make it worse. If we want them to have successful relationships it is going to be because we invested our energy into making sure they both know they need it, what it looks like and how to give it in the best possible ways.

Hello November: Making plans to finish the year strong!

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Okay so it is SO cold today here in KC I had to go with the fire.

Honestly I want fall back and pretty fast. We are 54(ish) days until Christmas (roughly eight weeks) and that means we are running out of time to knock off our biggest goals, projects and plans for 2017.

I know it will all come through like a rushing wind if I don’t sit down and plan a few things to finish strong and also to ensure I’m intentional with my holiday plans. Who are those friends, family and colleagues I really need to thank for helping make this year what it has been? What are the few things I “must” get done… Is there anything I’ve been putting off (of course there is), like budgeting (don’t forget this or these 56 days can show up late into 2018!), travel anyone? Health goals (uh-oh…)? Learning or books, etc.? Planned giving that needs to be addressed? How can I serve best this month? Who needs my help?

Okay, so that’s my insight today. I would love to hear what you are doing to plan a STRONG WRAP TO THE YEAR! We can all use all of the creativity and help we can get!

Bridges and friendships

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I sure do like the idea of this. I heard it on a podcast and it got me thinking that some of my most long lasting friendships have come from doing something like this.

When my good friends Susie and Sid Womack relocated to Kansas City from Texas, I hosted a Super Bowl party so they would feel welcome. That small effort changed my world and the world of my boys. Susie introduced us to Pine Cove which has been a life-changing factor in all of our lives and likely will for generations. Sid spoke into the lives of my boys, and I will forever be grateful. It was pretty much all thanks to a pot of chili, and a few friends that showed up.

I haven’t done this in awhile with anyone new. Most days I feel like I’m doing good to see my closest friends and family a few times a year. This idea has me thinking where a bridge is needed. I hope this sparks your thinking…

If you read this blog a lot I’d love to start here: I’d love to invite you to our new home and put on a pot of chili and talk life. Let me know if you are in and I’ll make it happen. A little groupthink may make us all better!

It’s simple, really. Create some fun!

(Photo creds: Unsplash.com)

(Another 2016 revamped post for you, my friends. I’m enjoying my time overseas. If you didn’t know, you can follow along on the visual fun on my Instagram.)

 I try not to forget some of the best parenting advice I was ever given at our family summer camp in Pine Cove, but I always seemed to get “sucked” into our daily routines.  (As you know, these turn into the story of our lives.)

So, what was the advice? SIMPLE: CREATE FUN!

Stop the daily routine, the stress, SURPRISE everyone (including yourself) and find the time for FUN. Their simple question was this: “When is the last time you jumped on the bed with your family?” Good question. Not sure I had since they were toddlers. We did it when we got home that summer, and I’m not sure they would remember. More than likely because it was a “one-and-done” activity and frankly that is not acceptable.

Now, don’t get me wrong, we have always had a lot of fun but I honestly don’t think I did enough to create fun “along the way.” For those of you with younger kids, I wish I would have made a calendar notification to do just this… I think it’s worth it. Kids remember these moments.

The fourth quarter is always one of the busiest and the most stressful. New school year, year-end push to achieve goals at work, the holidays, and oh good god, the comfort food that sends us to the gym to ward off the weight gain. All of that can catch up, so call a time out this weekend, or better yet tonight. Turn up the music and create some fun!

I’d love to hear how it went!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: A message during ‘Paul’s Journey’

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1 Corinthians 13:13: And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

As I am finishing up my bucket list “Paul’s Journey” trip, I thought it best to highlight Paul’s greatest message. As he spoke across the world teaching, his primary message was love. That is our goal as Christians to LOVE WELL. I believe that is actually the goal of all humans. My great prayer is that we all do everything we do in any given day with this approach.. 

Cheering you all on and thankful that you take time to read these insights. If each day something I write resonates with one person I will have achieved my goal. 

Have the best week this year! 

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Settle for the BEST

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I have always believed our mind is our greatest human asset in achieving what we want out of this one life.

This statement in the photo was spoken at an event I attended, and I sat with it for a few months. I wanted to share it for today’s Simple Thoughts Sunday because I feel it has power. God gave us all a human spirit with goals, dreams and desires. I believe he wants us to not only achieve those, but to do so with great joy.

Sure, we will have pain in the mix and we will grow during those times, but in the end, we are here for a purpose. If we opt out and choose to not GO FOR our HIGHEST LEVEL, it is our choice. CHOOSE TO OPTIMIZE! Let your close friends and family know what they and I know they would love to cheer you on! I would be blessed to sit with any of your fan clubs. Have an amazing week, my friends.

Rewind: 13 ways October delights!

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(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

(This is a throwback post from 2016 as we look toward how to make October great!)

I think October is my favorite month. I know I have a few that I have grown over time to love, but October is delightful… I’ve listed below some of my reasons why I say that. Take a moment to add yours in the comments! I think it would be fun to share and who knows, you might just get a great idea to refresh your own list.

  1. My No. 1 for sure… the COOLER weather: My dog is relishing in longer walks and gentle breezes. HIKING, and CRUNCHING IN THE LEAVES… INVIGORATING!
  2. The COLORS: The leaves, all manner of pumpkins and vegetables that look like pumpkins to me!
  3. COMMUNITY: It feels like everyone comes out and “GATHERS.” I like that idea of gathering. And with pop-up options like cider mills, pumpkin patches and corn mazes, what better time to hang out with old friends or make new ones!
  4. FOOTBALL! I do in fact love football, from little league, high school, college and the NFL! It’s just plain FUN!
  5. SOUP: My friend Nan always brings me soup. I love that! I also love finding a great butternut squash or pumpkin soup recipe. A bit of crusty bread and it’s the perfect meal, and as an added bonus, it soothes the SOUL!  (I promise my trainer, Amy, that I’ll add some protein in there!)
  6. BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH: I love how America has embraced this and over time the rates of SUCCESS if you get an early diagnosis are greatly improved. Research is necessary and this campaign showcases how, if we galvanize the troops, WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
  7. HOLIDAY SEASON SNEAKS IN: We get a glimpse but we aren’t fully deluged yet.
  8. HALLOWEEN: To be perfectly honest, until my boys were born I didn’t really embrace Halloween. I mean it’s okay and I loved to fill my pillowcase when I was in 3rd grade, but then it sort of faded. Now that my boys are in college, it’s fading again, but OH HOW FUN IT IS if you have little kids! EMBRACE EVERY MOMENT OF IT! Make fun punch with dry ice, set up a bobbing for apples activity, host a neighborhood pre-trick-or-treating party… It’s a BLAST!
  9. OCTOBER BASEBALL: Last year in particular, but I still LOVE MY BOYS IN BLUE! FOREVER ROYAL!
  10. BONFIRES, S’MORES, ETC.! Being around FIRE IS PRIMAL and screams connectedness. The smell of the smoke… the whole thing is just perfect fun!
  11. BOOTS, SWEATSHIRTS, SWEATERS: If you are a gal, need I say more? If you are a guy, ask your favorite gal! She’ll fill you in!
  12. APPLES! Apple orchards, apple picking, cider, cider donuts, apple crisp, apple pie…         It’s fully AMERICAN and fully AWESOME!
  13. Last but not least… HAYRIDES: YEP, HAYRIDES. I need to find one this year. There isn’t anything more fun to me, than a simple trailer, some HAY, and family, friends and complete strangers! I hope you’ll find one too!

“Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale!”  – Lauren DeStefano

Emotionally EXHALE

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What does it look like for you to make this Labor Day weekend count? After all, Labor Day is all about TAKING A BREAK. EMOTIONALLY EXHALING.

It used to be that school started after this weekend, which was a great decision, if you ask me. Alas, for most that isn’t the case anymore, and we are hit in August with what I think of as a total onslaught of obligations, activities, etc. This comes at a time we were just beginning to maybe “exhale.” Summer just started, didn’t it?

For me, “emotionally exhaling” involves very little. Reading, life planning, maybe a meal or two with some dear friends/family, a visit to the farmer’s market, and a a chance to take in the last days of warm sunshine. For others, it’s rock climbing, marathons and shopping extravaganzas… My hope is that you will truly reflect on what this weekend SHOULD look like for you right now. There is a great book that came out last year called “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst. That book calls out to us to truly make the best decision for ourselves at that given moment and season. Not every LABOR DAY weekend requires the same… some call for all out parties, gatherings, traveling, etc.

So, what does your soul need this weekend? The great news is that it is Thursday and most of us can still can DECIDE what we need and then CHOOSE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!

Whatever you do, I hope that you will EMOTIONALLY EXHALE.

We all need a spotter (or a few)

(Photo Creds: We Heart it)

On Sunday, I kicked off the week by reminding you that you are indeed a “bad ass.” That’s according to the Bible by the way, which is a great go-to source for understanding how we are designed. Apologies for any that are offended by that word choice, but I feel it’s the most appropriate way to call out the truth.

That said, I felt this was an appropriate topic for a Tuesday, which by the way is the “most productive” of work days. It’s when the coffee hits the system and we are ready to ROLL.

To me, there is not much better than getting that “flow” going and really feeling like you are conquering your day. That could be any day, but especially when that to-do list starts to get crossed off, line by line. LOVE IT! Anyone else?

Along the way, my hope for you today is that you will make sure to USE A SPOTTER. We all need them. I need several… managing your health, finances, family, relationships – the list goes on – requires a TON OF HELP. Who are your spotters? They can help LIFT THE HEAVY LOAD and give you much needed relief.

Have a STRONG WEEK and know that others are cheering you on and want to help!

Celebration marks the moments of your life.

(Photo Creds: Cindy Reynolds and her lovely, and obviously fun, better half. Cindy and Dennis own Somerset Ridge Vineyards & Winery outside of Louisburg. It is beautiful, fun and one of the BEST KC experiences! Check it out.)

Okay, so for real… this eclipse experience was just FUN. I was on a plane, so did not get to experience it, however, the pictures were just a thrill to look at! I love it when everyone just stops and has FUN.

Props to the companies, schools and organizations that took the time to MARK THE MOMENT. Regardless if you are a science nerd and loved every minute of the details, or if you just wanted to don the cool glasses and join the festivities, it was something for everyone to celebrate! A once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Celebrating is important! It is actually more than important and I need to do a better job of celebrating small moments. I actually decided I needed to ALWAYS have a bottle of pink champagne in my refrigerator to have on hand to celebrate the little things in our lives, family, neighbors, colleagues…

Here is a thought: How else can we make celebrating easy and top of mind? That’s the thinking for the day.

Celebrating is a GIFT we have on hand every day and week if we choose to use it! What do you need to celebrate? Seeking out the good in life is a key to happiness and to a life of serving others and yourself well.