To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Faith

Simple thoughts Sunday: Honoring moms of all types…

  1. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you who are a biological mom, play the role as needed, stepped into the magic of it all unexpectedly, or otherwise have helped raise up this generation of our children.

For many generations and in all cultures, it has been true that it “takes a village” to raise a healthy community. I absolutely cherish that thought, because I immediately think of the people that have played a role in my life knowingly, or not; and also, those who have in the lives of my children.

Today, as you celebrate your own mother — if you are lucky enough to still have one — my prayer is that you will reach out to those that may have given you or your kids a boost when you or they needed it. There is so much power in community and so much love that is needed to wrap up each other so that we can all be who God intended. If you have lost your mother, my prayer is that you will find great joy today in knowing how thrilled she was to raise you and I believe looks down and even protects you today with her undying love.

(Update on our mom: She is still healing and we are hoping to get “her” back. Today, we celebrate the many caregivers who have helped in this process and continue to shower her with love and prayers.) 

What will you read this summer?

Happy Thursday everyone!

I am once again behind on recapping the books I’ve read for the year… This picture was taken on April 15 so we aren’t too far from the first quarter. I have more time during the winter months, it seems, coupled with that freshness of the new year that prompts a hunger for learning and growth.

If you are interested in my input on any of these, please let me know! Here are my top 5:

  1. The Little BIG things, Tom Peters — It is classic Tom Peters… All things excellence in our lives and a focus on people! Right up my ally!
  2. The Daniel Dilemma, Chris Hodges — A great book on how to stand firm and love well in a culture of compromise.
  3. The Power of Moments, Chip Health and Dan Heath — This book is all about thinking and capturing “moments.” It has some great ideas on how we can intentionally construct elevated moments.
  4. WHEN, Daniel H. Pink — Everyone always wishes they knew God’s plan (when to get married, when to change jobs, etc.). This book goes into the science of how we can do this and optimize our success.
  5. Principles, Ray Dalio — This is a must read for all leaders, whether you’re just starting out or at the top of your career. Using his basis of economics and  leading one of the best firms ever on Wall Street, Dalio uses his unique approach to tell a story of excellence with details we can all grab and implement.

So many other good ones,  and  I would love  to share about any of them if you are interested so just ask. If you have one for me, let me know! Inthe summer, I try to read at least one novel — something “Nantucket-ish.” Would love your ideas!

Honoring your children well!

I stand in amazement at how others honor their children so well. Let me first say that honoring can be done in so many ways, and I believe they are all good and necessary. The point today is to lead you all to some folks that do this in ways that astound me, and will spur you onward. I personally love to to learn from others, and these ladies have pushed me along while not knowing it.

Check out these gals if you can; and if not, I have put in a few excerpts below that they recently posted that will offer a flavor of what I believe is pure awesome.

Kira Atkinson-Montuori – Kira always speaks out not only the virtue she sees, but also how her children do this for others. I honestly think without knowing it, she does this instinctively to reward them for being there for others. I love that. What do you want to see more of in your children? Here’s an excerpt from Kira’s Facebook post after her daughter ran the Girls on the Run 5K this weekend:

“She is everything I want to be.

She is determined. She is strong. She believes in herself. She is a goal setter and a goal go getter. And she is kind.

Every picture tells a story. A story about a girl who was excited. nervous. committed to what she wanted. And a girl whose main focus after crossing the line was to go back and congratulate her friends.”

Steph Guerin – This comes from a Facebook post for her son’s birthday (note, it doesn’t have to be her child’s birthday… she does this almost weekly). It’s incredible. Also, please note this is part of a multi-point message, so she really takes the time to honor well. I think that is a key we all need to remember:

“10) You. You, my son are a gift in and of yourself. I love your mind. I love your heart. I love your enthusiasm. I love your determination. I love your desire to win. I love that you would give any friend of yours anything that they wanted. I love your loyalty. I love your secrets. I love your chatter. I love your sense of humor. I love your memory. I love the way you connect things that other people can’t. I love that you get bored with stuff that doesn’t matter- it sucks in 5th grade, but it will serve you well later. I love that you want more than anything to be a good husband and father and that you already have the best taste in girls. I love that you’ve had your career path lined up since you were 5- even though it has changed. I love that you are able to take all the crap the world hands you and say you got it, and now I’m proud you can say you need help. I love that you are an 11 year old boy who can express a full range of emotions. I still wish you’d give me more hugs, but I should give you more, too. We’ll work on that.”

Casi Quinn – Casi does this type of Facebook post often. As parents, expressing our raw hearts is important and yet I find myself not doing it as much as I should – rarely even. Taking the time to point out this level of detail, leaves the family with a connection on how they should live out their lives. The lesson here for me, at the minimum, is that we teach our children how to honor by how we honor:

“Tonight was prom. And as we come to a close on Colton’s Senior year, I am once again reminded that behind every great older brother (in our house) is a younger brother who is equally as great. What memories they have made! How they have cherished one another….

I have watched them build forts, igloos, homemade weapons (In case they were ever stranded out in the wilderness). They have fought together, prayed together, cried together, laughed together – grown up together.

They have been roommates. Teammates. Schoolmates. Partners in crime…they are the epitome of what brothers should be. And I am so proud. So. Dang. Proud.”

Colton Quinn you are an amazing big brother. You are Just. Who. AJ. Needed. No one could have done the job as his big brother better than you. In your outlandish way, you brought out the best of him. You showed him that it was ok to be himself. And when he felt the world was against him, you would lift him up. God knew just what He needed. And AJ Quinn, you have been a silent strength. An unwavering constant that was a safe place for Colton to grow and learn that love doesn’t care about differences. A listener. An encourager. You’ve brought him peace – and balance. What a gift you are to one another!!”

Kira, Steph and Casi: Your words and heart are a profound lesson for us all. THANK YOU!

I hope this post gave you some ideas on how to dig deeper in honoring. No matter what, I hope that all of you will take some time this week to offer up a bit of extra honor to your children, or another loved one that could benefit!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: It is truly all joy

(Is this not the greatest photo? Credits go to Ann Voskamp who is wonderful to follow, and she took it I believe from “@Bored Panda,” which I am now following, and they credit: “@howfarhome.” That’s an Instagram account focused on travel! Worth following!)

So, it is truly all joy. I know that is hard sometimes.

I never even knew about this famous verse in the Bible until about 10 years after my divorce, infertility and some other fun and not-so-fun experiences. I sure wish I would I have known about it because it would have helped shape my perspective.

It is one of those that you have to live through to “feel it… to know it’s sheer truth.” Life throws curve balls, course corrections and all sorts of hurdles that cause us deep desperation, pain, or simple tears. In the end, these are the times we clarify and cleanse our souls. We find God through this times often, and we lean into friendships and a new level of family intimacy. It’s the layer where magic unfolds.

This picture is taken in the Netherlands, which is known world-wide for their annual tulip festivals with over 15,000 types of tulips and literally fields upon fields of elegance. (This happens in April every year.) I would sure love to see this beauty with my own eyes. The notion of riding bikes through the tulips sounds like a fantasy. You see, the magic = the beauty found in the fields. The fields only arise after rain and plenty of upkeep. This, my friends, is where the beauty of our lives happens: In all kinds of seasons.

As you go into your week and month, remember no matter how bad, good, emotionally or physically you may be challenged… COUNT IT ALL JOY. It is bound to produce something beautiful.

Celebrate big this month: Congratulations, graduates!

I am a huge sucker for good commencement speeches. My sister was telling me about Will Ferrell’s graduation address to USC and, of course, that has to be an instant classic. We all need more humor and I am confident that most USC grads were beside themselves with excitement at the notion of Mr. Ferrell joining their celebration!

Although I’m sure that was terrific, I prefer the graduation speeches that are a bit more poignant. A bit more hit you right in your spirit, lump in the throat, type advice and inspiration. Something I can sink my teeth into.

I really love this quote from J.K. Rowling. It speaks to us no matter our age or degrees are – or perhaps are not. I sit firmly in the camp that we are all gifted with everything we need to CHANGE THE WORLD. IMAGINING the POWER that this idea has is something to really think about. What if God has already given me everything I need to make the impact I am supposed to make? To CREATE A LASTING LEGACY? To truly change our world for the better in my lifetime?

I hope today you will think of the POWER YOU HAVE. To join the thousands of graduates worldwide and just IMAGINE the possibilities… no matter your age. I am betting that we can add some significance to this day if we all do so.

(Most of today’s blog is a repeat from last year. It is also dedicated to my son Sam (the reason for spartan, of course), who graduates this weekend from Michigan State University. We all stand with you as you celebrate a key moment in your life. It is pure joy to be your mom. Surely, the greatest gift from God has been you and your brothers. We all love you! Celebrate and then go out and imagine, create and impact our world!)

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Nourishing our souls

So, what is nourishing you?

We need healthy food and lots of water so that our bodies have the best chance to give us optimum performance. We need sleep to achieve full restoration each day. From my point of view, we need a strong spiritual life to truly nourish our soul so that we can fully utilize the gifts God has given to each of us (and to serve well).

Today seems like a great day to think about what is nourishing our souls. Are we spending as much time in the word of God as we are on social media? Watching mindless Netflix or reality TV shows, listening to music that doesn’t inspire? Are we filling our minds and hearts with the truth, or are we distracted constantly?

This week, can we up the game on our focus toward nourishment through spending our extra time in activities that draw us and our families and loved ones closer to God? I’m totally up for this challenge and would love to hear if you are too!

Enthusiasm: Get your week off to a rousing start

Today I lean on Tom Peters and his leadership wisdom to offer you some of what I think is absolutely BRILLIANT. In fact, I think this is a game changer for all of us. Here is a brief excerpt from his new read, The Excellence Dividend:

“NFL coaches carefully script the first few plays of the game, aiming to get off to a good start. Of course, the details of the plan will likely fall through long before play number ten.  But the scripts aims to set the course.

Beginnings are everything. A solid research finding, not a slogan. So start the week off on the right foot.

Do NOT — come hell AND high water — let the first 45 minutes of the week slip by without decisive impact. (Mr. Peters using a lot of exclamation points, bold lettering and all caps to stress his point.)

A week is a precious unit of measure. And a week is a story, a novella — it has a beginning, middle, and end. Sweating BIG-TIME on the beginning is crucial to all that follows.

Next Monday: Script your first five to ten plays (i.e. carefully launch every day or week in a purposeful fashion.)”

As always, I hope this is useful to at least one of you wonderful people. For those of you following this blog closely and read about my mom last Thursday, this particular blog pushes into perspective that we really must value our days and weeks. Our moments are precious and we can impact lives and serve so much better if we do so with intention.

(My mother is progressing slightly, so as her brain repairs itself, we continue to hope for God’s will. We greatly value all of you who have reached out.)

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Living in abundance

Most of you know that on Sunday’s I usually write about my faith. This thought was powerful for me and I hope it will be for you. What do I mean by abundance? Here’s what I am thinking:

Abundance in positive thinking (vs fear)

Abundance in joy

Abundance in strength

Abundance in prayer

Abundance in deepening friendships

Abundance in health

Abundance in wisdom

Abundance in generosity for others

That’s a short list. What areas of your life do you need or desire “abundance” in?

God’s word tells us that he desires for us to have great victory in this life. (The Psalms are a great place to find these messages first… Psalm 37:4 is a good start.) 

If we can lean in on Him, instead of our own understanding, we can experience the freedom of His love and provision over our lives. I pray that this week you will pray for ABUNDANCE in the areas that might help your life to overflow with just what you need. When we are filled, we can exponentially give back to others.

Redemption: The conversation is getting personal

My mom is in the hospital, suffering from multiple seizures. As of now, we have no idea why, but know her brain is somehow off track. It’s ugly.

When she comes out she is either elated and child-like, or unfortunately agitated and angry. In the moments we’ve had, she’s gone back to draw up childhood experiences I didn’t even know happened, and also told us how deeply she loved us. The love part may seem normal to some, but for us, not so much.

Without going into too much detail, my mom has suffered from mental illness for her entire adult life that my sister, brother and I have been around to witness. That is up until the last 4 years.

I remember my sister saying that “we finally have a mom,” a mere 4 years ago when I was 46. It is a story of healing and redemption. I love movies, especially the redemption-based love stories where love heals and the heart settles into deep joy. We all have our own movie reel going: the story of our lives. We all experience at some point a range of emotions and of course strive for love and peace.

If you are questioning whether you will ever get to the point of redemption in a relationship with someone you care deeply about, please believe that there is hope. Just 5 years ago, I never thought this was possible and wished someone had shared their story of hope with me. You know that saying, “God is good all of the time, and all of the time God is good.” I believe He is good all of the time and sometimes we need help seeing the forest through the trees, so to speak.

Thank you for allowing me to share my story of redemption. I pray it is healing. If you happen to be a praying person, we’d covet your prayers for God’s will for our mom. She truly is a wonderfully dear person, who didn’t deserve to suffer with mental illness and didn’t choose that. I know that now.

(If for some reason any of you would want to know more about this in hopes that it would help, please reach out. I’d be more than happy to share the details.)

A conversation that matters

Tuesday was the kick-off to the annual Seven Days events in Kansas City. I attended a terrific session on Tuesday night, “A Rabbi, an Imam, and an Evangelical Minister Walk into a Bar.” It was a conversation about “being your neighbor’s keeper.” It was pure delight.

It reminded me that I needed to make this the point of today’s blog. I have posted previously about these events, and as Seven Days is in their 4th year, I think it is important to share their story and encourage you to join in for some of the events and for sure the conversation.

The rest of the blog is primarily a rewind of the post from 2016. The information is as true today as ever, as we strive for progress at a higher pace. Please take some time to follow this important conversation. You will be better for it!

Rewind from 2016:

I asked one of my boys to attend the session Tuesday night explaining why this idea of Interfaith is important. He was confused because in his mind he is certainly open to all races and religions and as far as he was concerned there was not a good reason to learn more about the topic. I loved that, because I think it explains how many feel. Not long ago most of our country could say that they embraced all others. As generations have become educated and society progresses we have indeed made great strides forward.

I have to admit that I also didn’t like this response at all, because I personally know that there is so much more. It wasn’t until just a few years ago (well into my 40s- Yikes, now 50) that I attended a friend’s Passover Seder, which was an important step in understanding her faith. I still haven’t made the steps necessary to learn about my Muslim neighbors, and the list goes on. So, yes, we have made progress, but we have to do more to make the impact that is possible and necessary.

This summary below is just that, a high level overview… I’d love to hear your thoughts and also if you have questions, I’d be happy to moderate getting those to the Rabbi.

Why Interfaith? A lot of reasons, but in our current environment, understanding is the imperative to solving global issues that didn’t really exist prior to the current fast-paced communication and social media opportunities that ensure we have at our ready world-wide news and can react and respond right away. (One note: In last night’s session (2018), the panel talked about the change from the term interfaith to multi-faith, noting that we should not have to give up our individual beliefs, but be in friendship and hold respect for one another(s)…I like that A LOT.)

A great example he gave: In our country we enjoy freedom of religion, which is why my son answered as he did – makes sense. Unfortunately other countries do not enjoy freedom of religion. It is important for us all to understand the implications of this on world peace.

4 keys ways we can inspire each other in interfaith (multifaith):

  1. ENCOUNTER one another – Yep, invite your Muslim neighbor over, or if you are Muslim, invite your Christian neighbor over to begin a conversation of understanding.
  2. STUDY other countries, religions, beliefs – We must challenge ourselves to understand fully the traditions of others to truly understand them.
  3. PRAYER – The Rabbi included this and I thought it was great. This may seem like an easy list, but it isn’t. Even taking the first step seems some how beyond our ability to just jump out and make it a priority. We need to pray that God would give us a passion for understanding.
  4. SERVICE – Perfect that he ended with this. The idea being that once we come together we can translate that into ACTION that makes our communities and countries stronger.   Let’s contemplate that today!

There are some great activities/events happening in KC this week as a part of SevenDays. Check out the website for the full details.

Have a strong wrap to your week!