To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Elevate

High-stakes questions leverage personal growth

How do I get better? How can the team, be it my family at home, or at the office, get better?

I think about this often and have said frequently in the last decade, “cater to my success, not my ego.” (A lesson I learned from a fellow panelist that will never leave me. Note to self: Always pay attention… Everyone can teach you something.) A change up from my early career when I “needed” that validation that I was headed in the right direction. We absolutely have to ask this question and truly want honest feedback. It is my thought that moving to new levels requires a desire to get to the layers that are not always apparent blind spots, if you will.

On a podcast episode I listened to earlier this week – the Tony Robbins Podcast – there was a great discussion about high stakes and high-leverage strategies. The profound lesson here is that this is not rocket science. It’s not a 12-step process, nor something that we need extravagant degrees in order to put into play and be successful. Asking the right easy questions is the message I took away. And better yet, putting in place a cadence in your life, at work, home or wherever life finds you so that you develop “mental models” for how you are going to process life, learn and grow. When something happens, starting with this easy question, “What is one thing I would change?” can alone be powerful if we ask it consistently and build an arsenal of information that helps inform us so that we can make better decisions next time. Lean in a bit, ask “tell me more,” versus jumping in believing you are adding value when presented with a question or need for advice. Holding on long enough to get to deeper information can help us achieve higher levels of tangible impact.

So much good information surrounds us. I love that part of society today. There are endless ways we can engage and literally no excuse at any age for slowing down our learning.

My hope is that this inspires you a bit to ask yourself, “What is one thing?” One thing to be a better leader, better parent, better friend, better daughter, son, grandchild, sister, community member, neighbor… Or on your next project – be it trying a new recipe or wrapping up a significant project at the office – asking honestly and boldly: What is that one thing that would have elevated this experience?” What if we all do this and make a collective impact? There is power in that my friends.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The personal power in refreshing others

Re-fresh-ment: “The giving of fresh, mental or physical strength or energy.” Synonyms: Invigoration, revitalizing, restoring, strengthening, regenerating

Isn’t that great? I particularly love the part about giving. We actually have the power to GIVE someone strength and energy. Amazing. What if everyone you ran into knew that and acted upon it positively? What if our inner circle, family, friends, etc., received this reminder today? Would it be a game changer for the environment around us? I sure think so! (Heck, even the enthusiasm around March Madness elevates the energy in the conversation.)

One thing I’ve known for a long time is that if I’m having a bad day, the surest way to reverse course is to focus on someone else and help to fill a need if possible.

ELooking back, this makes sense. Before I actually read the Bible through, I used to read the Psalms and proverbs year after year. These short messages provide the best guidance I know of on how to live life well. I loved that in my daily reading this week, that I came across the powerful Proverb above. What a simple, yet profound thought that comes directly from God’s word.

As we go into this week, I plan to keep this top of mind. What are some ways we can “refresh” others this week? Let’s fill the world around us with all kinds of crazy good. Be refreshed my friends.

Evaluated experience is the best experience

If you have studied leadership or personal development, you may be familiar with John Maxwell. He’s a living legend. This particular message is one that needs to become a classic. We are too easy to say, “experience is the best teacher.” My experience is that that is absolutely not true. What is true, however, is what Maxwell focuses on in his book, “Failing Forward.”

As we think about our own lives – personal growth, where we can still go or want to go, grow or become and how to get there – truly taking your experiences and evaluating what lessons they have provided could be a game changer.

Another phrase I’ve heard, “your test becomes your testimony” comes to mind in this context. I add that here because we all clearly have had a lot of experiences (aka “tests”), but which ones are the “stand outs?” Which ones are the “I can’t believe that happened,” or “wow, my life is so not where I thought it was going to be right now,” moments? Those are the ones I feel we should start with. Those are the humdingers!

As we walk through our adventure – truly getting to the root of what happened to get us to that moment, to go deep into all of the potential people, pathways or circumstances that got us there – we are able to use that experience to elevate us to the next level. Any particular areas you may need to evaluate today that just may help you grow?

Elevating your game takes wonder (oh, and maybe a little pain)

Elevating your game, “leveling up” or taking ground… all require grit, guts and all a heavy dose of creativity and for sure wonder. Many times, that requires us to get a bit bruised in the process.

The quote in the photo refers to Harry Houdini, the world-famous magician. He forever upped his game and worked toward creating genius in his work. In this story, he was trying to figure out how a peer walked a tightrope… he unfortunately learned the hard way (i.e. losing his front teeth) that there are better ways to do this.

Of course you get the main part of that story, but what about the reference to “wonder?” Did you catch that? In Gino’s recent book, ‘Rebel Talent,’ she embarks on just why being a rebel is important. One part I love is her chapter educating us to always strive to have people on our teams (including ourselves) that generate wonder. Those people on the team that may seem to be drifting off, coming up with a different way to look at “things” to help us to see a different “angle.” Pointing out the “what ifs” is an important contribution to any impactful team or project. I would say, even at home.

She shares a story of her toddler son wanting to put food coloring in his cereal. His dad immediately saying, “we don’t do that,” and then their collective awakening: “why not?” Why can’t we have colored milk? Who made up the rule that this is not a good thing? What a simple yet perfect example. How often do we say, “We can’t do that,” or “we don’t do that in this family,” or “our rules don’t allow that in the workplace?” etc.

We should carefully question our tendency to shut down creativity and empowerment in many situations. After all, wonder is often what takes us to the next level. Breaking the “rules” and pushing boundaries (within reason of course…) is what brought us the light bulb, the mobile phone, Facebook, Uber, Amazon… you get the point.

Get out the crayons and paper and allow yourself and your family/work place/community group to exercise their creativity and wonder.  It may get messy, but you might just make something beautiful!

Welcome August! (Well, not really — but let’s make it stunning anyway!)

I am sooooo not thrilled that it’s August. It’s a fine month and all, but thanks to whoever thought it was a good idea to start school during the second week of the month.

Let’s just say that now we get a rather strong signal — in my opinion too early — that life is about to get crazy, and that the longer and warmer days are dwindling.

It has been a wonderful summer, and although the heat came on fast and furious, the opportunity to be outside and to relish in all of the outdoor fun gives most of us renewed energy. So, for today, my first blog after a month break, it occurred to me that we need to pause and consider what summer has been teaching us. It is my thought that every season of our lives — whether it’s tied to the calendar or the ebb and flow of life — we are intended to learn something that will help us grow and become our best selves. Life is pretty darn cool in that way!

So, here are a few things I’ve been learning… I’d love it if everyone shared one of their own!

  1. SAY YES. I have been trying to say YES to almost any social invitation. That is not the norm for me and in fact, I like to protect my personal time and stay in absolute balance. (I know some of my friends don’t realize that, but that’s been my modus operandi (M.O.) for the last few years. I’m not sure it was a good decision.)  I have learned I am having fun and a better person when I’m out enjoying life at this level. I would highly recommend you give this a try if you don’t already!
  2. DON’T MISS THE FARMER’S MARKET. In other words… Do everything you can to not miss the little things that will fill your soul! There is something that happens when I pull in the parking lot at the Overland Park Farmer’s Market. Surrounding myself with hard workers who have enduring passion and love for their work and who, as a result, make lives healthy and happier. It’s the entire environment. Whatever it is for you, by all means make it a priority. Our days are incredibly important, as you know, and the sum of those creates our story.
  3. MUSIC! Turn it up, loud and proud. I too often miss this enormously amazing part of life, forgetting to turn off the soundtrack in my head and get lost in someone’s incredible gift. I have been playing everything from Kenny Chesney to Kenny G as often as possible… Filling our home with the gift of music. This alone elevates the climate and can transport you to another place. (Shout out to the 80’s!)

Okay, now it’s your turn. I’m so thankful to be back writing. I am super happy to have this community to do life with! Have an amazing weekend and let’s rock this crazy month!

Capturing our best thinking… “THE” FLOW

I love coffee shops! That is where I do my best thinking… specifically, Black Dog coffeehouse in Lenexa. A bit off of my normal, beaten path, it’s just the perfect hideaway to get the “juices” flowing.

My second choice would be a good walk through trails or any place with an abundance of nature – the trees and creek types are my favorite.

There has been much written and researched on the concepts of “creative thinking” and just how we humans enter a state of “flow.” A place in our minds where we can really feel the ideas rolling.

Susan K. Perry, PhD and Social psychologist, speaks about the “busy mind: fragmented,  unfocused, distracted, too many things on your mind.” Sound familiar? The opposite of which is “THE” FLOW that I am characterizing. According to Perry, “FLOW: loose, relaxed and focused.” My guess is that many of us need to be able to get into this “FLOW” state more often in order to bring our best work.

Experts say that we can indeed achieve this state by facilitating certain conditions that optimize our thinking, offer a quality of awareness and creative expression. Here are 5 ideas that may help you achieve “FLOW” and produce your best work. (RE: Myrko Thum)

  1. Direct your Focus ACTIVELY – Direct it to what you want to achieve… Take the focus OFF of the not so good. (This includes environmentally setting yourself up to succeed, minimizing interruptions)
  2. Choose your most important task – Concentrate fully on the one thing that is most important at the moment
  3. Focus all of your attention with intensity as your task. (Again, no interruptions, cell phone out of the way, etc.)
  4. Do it for a set amount of time – 30+ minutes. Flow cannot happen in an instant.
  5. Stay with the task until it is finished. This will help you to feel accomplished and desire to get back into the “FLOW” or “ZONE” for the next task at hand.

The bottom line is that training your mind to develop a sharp metal focus is a key skill for success and self improvement and peak performance.

Go all in and OPTIMIZE THIS WEEK!