To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Diversity

Top reads for 2019

This is such a tough post for me, because I truly love all books – and for totally different reasons. I think that’s likely true for all of us, that we gravitate toward what we individually need to hear at that particular time in this season of life.

All of that to say, I am going to attempt this anyway. After all, I hear from some of you that you’d love to see another post on top books – and I aim to serve! This one is long overdue, since my last book post was in… April. Oops! You can find other posts related to books I love in the archives under “book reviews.”

Here are my top 10 for the year, each with some excerpts that highlight why they made the list (The first three from my April post):

Notorious RBG, by Irin Carmon and Shana Knizhnik – No matter your political interests, this is such a good read. This absolutely fun read about the life of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is terrific in 100 different ways. I love all of it, but this quote in the beginning in particular: While reading her dissent in a voting rights case, she quotes Martin Luther King directly, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice,” she said, but then she added her own words: “If there is a steadfast commitment to see the task through to completion.” Now that is true and powerful.

The Art of Gathering, by Priya Parker – So much amazing work in this book. I’d grab this one for sure if you like to read topics that appeal in multiple areas of your life. One simple idea here: “If you want a lively but inclusive conversation as a core part of your gathering, eight to twelve people is the number you should consider. Smaller than eight, the group can lack diversity in perspective; larger than twelve, it begins to be difficult to give everyone a chance to speak.”

Joyful, by Ingrid Fetell Lee – A really interesting and fun read that covers the full gamut of joy. One idea I appreciated: “I began to notice that while the topic of work-life balance comes up frequently in media, play is largely absent from the conversation… The most joyful people I know manage to hold space for play in their adult lives (think playing a sport, family game night, etc.).”

Shoe Dog, by Phil Knight – This was on everyone’s top list in 2016-17, but it took me a while to dive in. It did not disappoint, and could arguably be my number one book. It’s a classic tale of starting from the beginning, finding your path, and what is required (absolute commitment, focus and imagination) for top-level individuals and companies to achieve success. Phil is the founder of Nike and you can imagine the power of the story. The power of any great story is found when purpose is exposed. This line captures it well, “I walked out of the room, I thought of that phrase, ‘It’s just business,’, It’s never just business. It never will be. If it ever does become just business, that will mean that business is very bad.” Profound truth.

Women Rowing North, by Mary Pipher – The inside cover reads, “A guide to wisdom, authenticity, and bliss for women as they age…a timely examination of the cultural and developmental issues women face ...” There are so many valuable nuggets in here, but I highlighted this one: “One day I told her that I greatly admired how she handled her difficult situation with such good cheer. She looked at me and said, ‘Mary, I have no choice about the leukemia, but I can control how I deal with it. I might as well act right and have something to feel good about.'” That’s so true about almost everything in life. We get to decide. Another that spoke to me: “On further reflection, I realized that I often become my own worst enemy, constantly signing myself up for combat duty when I really want to stay home, pet my cat and read a book.” (Okay, not the cat part, but Jennie and Gretchen, that’s for you!)

Range, by David Epstein – This read takes on the idea of whether it is best to “specialize” in a field/hobby/etc., or if it’s better to have a “range” of interests/focuses/preparations. Notable authors such as Malcolm Gladwell and Daniel Pink praise Epstein’s work, and this is indeed a solid read on the topic our path to excellence in life. I loved this: “Instead, she told me, in a clever inversion of a hallowed axiom, ‘First act, then think,’ Ibarra marshaled social psychology to argue persuasively that we are each made up of numerous possibilities. As you put it, ‘We discover the possibilities by doing, by trying new activities, building new networks, finding new role models.’ We learn who we are in practice, not in theory.” So good. As we go into 2020 and a new decade, where do we need to develop new possibilities?

The Moment of Lift, by Melinda Gates – From the inside cover: “How can we summon a moment of lift for human beings?” And also: “I had to write this book- to share the stories of people who have given focus and urgency to my life.” Those “people,” those “stories,” are from countries and cultures across the world, whom we have the power to help “lift,” thereby using the gifts God has given us to help all of humanity. It is about helping others use their voice, and build lives and generations by challenging the status quo. Who is giving urgency to my/your life right now? Where and who do we need to pursue to ensure we use your gifts and achieve our purpose? Those questions are true for every single age. It’s a useful question for launching into the new decade.

The Innovator’s DNA, by Jeff Dyer, Hal Gregersen, and Clayton M. Christensen – This book hones in on 5 skills for innovators using stories from the great innovator’s of our time, Apple, Google, etc. It’s a true business read, chalked full of quality content, research and stories we can use. One such example, “Google holds an ‘Innovator’s Challenge’, four times each year. In this competition, employees submit ideas for management review. Winning ideas receive the resources necessary to maintain momentum. Innovation at Google is very democratic; it lets market forces determine which ideas move forward.” I am always challenged by these types of reads and look forward to any ideas I can grab and use. Perhaps you are as well.

Rhythms of Renewal, by Rebekah Lyons – One of my favorites, and the topic of a blog post from October. Why do I love it? I love the topic itself, I love the simplicity of every single chapter and I feel like this book alone makes me better. That is saying a lot. One thought that is powerful as you go into the new year: “When we rest long enough to take inventory, when we ask God to cultivate our hearts, talents and passions according to the purpose he planned before our days began, we’ll find new horizons opening up, horizons beyond all we could ask or imagine. It’s never too late to re-establish what you want your life to be about.” So good.

Stillness is the Key, by Ryan Holiday – This one ties with No. 9 above on the absolute best for me for 2019. I wrote about it twice this year (Oct. 22 & Oct. 28) and one thought I loved: “The answer is that while we may naturally possess stillness, accessing it is not easy. One must really listen to hear it speaking to us. And answering the call requires stamina and mastery.” To me, all of this is most worthy of my attention and incredibly critical at this point in our world. We need to be still and we need to think and listen well in order to serve well… be it at home, the workplace, the community, and yes, making key decisions in 2020 as it comes to new leadership for our country – and beyond. We need to urgently focus on removing distractions.

Praying for each of you to have an incredible finale to the decade and to have the focus to start strong on a new year this week ahead!

Live in the arena

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again … who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

Theodore Roosevelt

Want to level up your personal growth? Find a bit over an hour, log into Netflix and be prepared to actively take notes. You will laugh, you will nod in understanding and you will be changed. In her Netflix special, Dr. Brene Brown, says something to the tune of “there is my life before this quote (above) and my life after.” I could say the same thing about this show. Incredible.

She talks about “engineering smallness” in her life because of her fear to step into her own power and play big. (Frankly, that’s its own headline!)

She shares incredible data that proves that if we are to achieve anything – from career success to love – we will indeed fall, get our asses kicked, and experience heartbreak. (Ouch!)

She talks about being hard-wired for belonging, and our need to speak our truth and not betray ourselves for other people.

She educates about the need for us to be vulnerable…even in the workplace. Especially if we are to develop inclusivity, equity and diversity and have uncomfortable conversations that ultimately have the power to bring us to unity. (Folks… we need to be vulnerable… this is critical for our generation.)

That, my friends, encompasses only about 5 percent of the content. I truly hope that you will make it a priority to step into this great message. And if you’ve already caught her Netflix special, I’d love to hear about your takeaways!

The “arena” can for sure be intimidating – scary even. The “arena” is also that place where we grow, thrive and shine like no other place. You all are champions my friends! Cheering you on always.

My top books of 2019 – so far

Happy Tuesday! Today’s a good day to share what I’ve learned so far this year through my readings. They have all been good, with Notorious RBG, The Art of Gathering & Joyful being my favs.

I picked one take away from each of them and shared it below. If you decide to grab one let me know what you think (or if you’ve read them already)! Have an amazing week!

The Messy Middle, by Scott Belsky – This is a leadership read that is pretty heavy in content (it took me a while to get through it and truly digest the information). One of my favorite insights was on “organizational debt,” which is “the idea of ‘bounty program’ … in this system, any employee who encounters a policy or process that is hindering their ability to deliver value to the customer can submit the policy/process and a recommendation to the program website. The idea is to incentivize everyone to bash inefficiencies and dumb practices that contribute to organizational debt.”

The Art of Gathering, by Priya Parker – So much amazing work in this book. I’d grab this one for sure if you like to read. One simple idea here: “If you want a lively but inclusive conversation as a core part of your gathering, eight to twelve people is the number you should consider. Smaller than eight, the group can lack diversity in perspective; larger than twelve, it begins to be difficult to give everyone a chance to speak.”

Girl, Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis – This book is just so fun. It’s a simple read/self help type of book with some profound thoughts. One particular idea that I liked: “1.) I went to therapy. 2.) I hustled for joy. (love, love, love this) 3.) I reordered my list.”

Woke Church, by Eric Mason – I read this alongside a beautiful young professional I sometimes get a chance to mentor. It’s a call to justice and about understanding how socioeconomic, philosophical and historical realities inform our responsibility. An abbreviated excerpt from the back of this book says it best: “The church in America should have rejected the first whispers of slavery. But we didn’t. We should have stopped segregation and Jim Crow before they affected communities. But we didn’t. We should have been woke, but we’ve been asleep.”

Joyful, by Ingrid Fetell Lee – A really interesting and fun read that covers the full gamut of joy. One idea I appreciated: “I began to notice that while the topic of work-life balance comes up frequently in media, play is largely absent from the conversation… The most joyful people I know manage to hold space for play in their adult lives (think playing a sport, family game night, etc.).

The 10X Rule, by Grant Cardone – A classic book that has been around for a bit. So many key parts to this, but the one I hadn’t heard and resonated the most: “You must keep adding wood until the fire is so hot that no one – and nothing – can put out your success.” This was a call to action around all areas of your life! Keep adding wood my friends to what’s important to you!

Notorious RBG, by Irin Carmon and Shana Knizhnik – Honestly you should read this no matter what your political interests or otherwise area. This absolutely fun read about the life of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Gisburg is terrific in at least 100 different ways. I love all of it, but this quote in the beginning received a few stars: While reading her dissent in a voting rights case, she quotes Martin Luther King directly, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice,” she said, but then she added her own words: “If there is a steadfast commitment to see the task through to completion.” Now that is true and powerful.

The 5AM Club, by Robin Sharma – I have followed Sharma for many years and his latest is a great reminder of the power of taking over our days by starting out right. His section on the 4 focuses of history-makers is solid: 1) Capitalization IQ (“What makes a legendary performer so good isn’t the amount of natural talent they are born into, but the extent of that potential they actualize and capitalize.”) 2) Freedom from Distraction 3) Day Stacking 4) Personal Mastery practice.

Farsighted, by Steven Johnson – The book is all about how we make decisions and how to make better ones. His compelling first comments, “Countless studies have shown, humans are wired to resist losses more than to seek gains,” set you off on a deeper understanding of how our habits and even wiring may not help us make the best decisions and how we should consider understanding at a deeper level how to make better choices.

Chasing Daylight, by Eugene O’Kelly – I have blogged previously about this excellent, short read. Mr. Kelly wrote this book over his last few months after an unexpected illness took over his body at 53 years old. It’s a powerful reminder to to live intentionally. “To get the most out of each moment and day-and not just pass through it.”

Stumbling upward… Going beyond the easy button in the diversity conversation

I like to tackle tough conversations. I always hesitate a bit to throw it out on the blog, but I need to be more brave.

There is a literal jewel of a book that just came out recently, “How Good People Fight Bias – The Person YOU Mean to Be,” by Dolly Chugh. It’s probably the most powerful book I’ve read on the topic, taking on the ideas that stir in many of us in a fresh way. The concept of “stumbling upward” in the pages made me want to spend the rest of my days doing just that: striving to be better in all aspects of my life. In this particular topic of understanding tolerance and diversity, I am certain I can grow meaningfully.

In the book, Chugh tells the story of two well-meaning business guys, “Fitz and Zach” who brought the “Unconference” idea to Chicago. The idea of the “Unconference” is to bring together a network of people with agendas created on the spot, generating much energy and innovation. The organizers are responsible for the who, when and where of the event. These two guys, started with their own network, initially 118 people and only 14 women – most men being white. When called out on by the audience, they both were quite embarrassed. They didn’t realize that their networks, unintentionally, had become a bunch of people that looked like them. It was a true “bro-fest,” as the book refers to it. Once their awareness was made clear, they were able to correct their ways and begin developing networks that broadened their homogeneous network.

“They asked people to nominate people “more amazing than you.” One time, they asked people to nominate “women and minorities.” Another time, they asked participants to nominate people “who don’t look like you, if you usually are in the majority.” No method was perfect, but every attempt was a stumble upward.”

By 2017 their events had equal numbers of men and women and diversity was evident. Chugh introduces concepts that we all need to be aware of, including ordinary privilege, willful awareness and others. These topics are important. We all need to be more aware, like “Fitz and Zach.” What would your event look like if you hosted one? We need to understand the issues, and can do so by reading books such as this, attending events, expanding our networks and conversations. If we want to serve well for both our generation and those that follow, we should consider this a critical learning opportunity. I’m in.

The Culture Connection: Why travel is a life priority

I have made travel a life priority.

Along the way, I learned that whatever your budget — and whatever your goals with travel — it can be done with a bit of research and flexibility. There are so many stories out there of poor college students backpacking across Europe, and travel blogs that showcase journeys around our vast world. This is encouragement to many, as travel can seem to be a goal achievable only after retirement, if at all. In my viewpoint, even a trip to the lake can be a much-needed cultural shift from our day-to-day lives.

As it pertains to my writing on this blog, I truly feel that in order to serve well (for me) that travel is essential to creating a greater understanding of the people we share this planet with.

Here’s why: Being immersed in different cultures allows us to stretch and grow beyond our normal experience.

I have learned that whether it be a trip to New York City, Chicago, San Diego, or abroad to say, Greece (or my current journey in Australia), the customs from the time they eat meals to the way they approach their day opens me to new, potentially life-changing perspectives.

For example, in bigger cities, you seldom see anyone overweight. This is likely due to their active lifestyles to some extent, with a dependence on walking as a major means of transportation. It forces me to consider how to incorporate more of that lifestyle into my own.

In most countries I have visited outside of the U.S., the pace of life seems to be less frenetic and more reasonable. Even the average vacation time they are offered by employers is almost triple what we find here in America. It ties to a focus on overall wellness, it seems. I believe our country has a lot to learn in this area. (Side note: I have not been to the Asian countries, which I understand are more hurried in their approach, and perhaps it is due to the size of the population.)

One of my favorite authors (Batterson) is known for saying “a change of place, offers a change of perspective.” That is so very true. Somehow, when you are able to remove yourself from your routine, your mind “shifts” to a neutral zone that allows you to more easily embrace the beauty that surrounds us, even in the seemingly simple matters. I believe that notion leads us to achieve creativity and engage in life with a more health focused approach.

I try to keep these short, so will stop here. As the North Face slogan goes, I hope that you will “Never stop exploring,” and I hope this has inspired you to travel, local or abroad — just get out there!

Rewind: Go ahead, jump the fence!

(Photo creds: We Heart it)

(This is a throwback post to 2017, because levity goes a long way.)

I told my son I wanted to do something funny today – something to add some levity to our day and get away from anything too serious.

Initially, this idea of “jumping the fence” was captured in a conversation about diversity and the need for us to not be afraid to experience different cultures, food, people, environments, etc. That is still a good idea, but what’s better today is this perspective of the image.

Through all of the stress that America has realized over the last few months, and what seems like a never-ending back and forth accelerated by social media, we really need to laugh.

So maybe this photo captures how you feel as you try to get away from your friends’ viewpoints on Trump…? Or, perhaps you had so much fun watching the Grammy Awards on Sunday that you gave some thought to changing career paths to become a rock star… You know you’ve got that image now of you on Monday morning with your blazer on and your friends cheering you on running & jumping toward your new found PATH TO GLORY.

No matter what it is, make it a demonstration of fun, friends and no doubt a lot of laughs. (By the way, that may be me struggling to even get up the dang fence.)

I’m in the mood to jump the proverbial fence into brighter territory. Into something meaningful and beautiful and truly FUN. Grab your tribe this weekend and create some memories filled with laughter!

Black History Month series: If you still don’t understand

Here’s the story of Mae Berther Carter, who raised a young family in 1965

That really isn’t that long ago, if you ask me! I think it’s important to put things into perspective.

During 1965, Ms. Carter enrolled 7 of her 13 children (boy, she had to have been busy!) in public schools that were previously reserved only for white students.

Despite people firing bullets into her home, she persisted. Despite being evicted from her home, she persisted. (Does “Nevertheless, she persisted” conversation from last year resonate with anyone else here?)

In 1969, Ms. Carter and her husband won a lawsuit challenging the “freedom of choice” laws. That same year, a court order ended the segregation system in the Drew School District. All 7 of those children later graduated from that school. (No clue what happened to the other six…) It is hard to fathom a school — and for that matter, public or private spaces — being reserved only for certain people. To think that inequality like this ever existed is far from the teaching of most value systems, spiritual and not. (Side note: There is inequality still today in so many areas, which is in a large part what the #MeToo movement is about. I am not so sure our country has advanced as much as it could have.)

At any rate, these stories compel me, as they shrink the topic to a level I can consume.

My mom was 22 years old then, and although she’s aging now, it’s hard to think she walked through this world at the same age my boys are now. That brings it close to home for me. As I shared Tuesday, science shows through epigenetics that those harsh realities impact the generations that followed, including those alive today.

That means someone you sit next to at work or church; someone you watch on television or perhaps in one of the Oscar-nominated films — they’re affected. You see, we all have our story. We all have backgrounds that shape us. I think all of us need to go into conversations throughout life with a greater understanding that everyone has a journey and the best thing we can do is listen, seek to understand and, of course, serve others freakishly good and always be kind.

I hope you and your family are taking some time this month to learn more stories like Mae’s. Consider checking out The King Center, which showcases some terrific information.

Go deep: We need to build our root system

(Photo Creds: Canva)

If you’ve ever stood under a redwood tree, you know that their height is something magnificent. The extent of their root system is shockingly not deep at 6-12 feet. So, how do we account for the crazy growth, with many reaching 300 feet tall? (The tallest pine measures in at 268 by comparison.)

“Redwoods create the strength to withstand powerful winds and floods by extending their roots more than 50 feet from the trunk and living in groves where their roots can intertwine.”

Perfect! Another very cool illustration for just how important going “DEEP” in your relationships is to your ability to grow and optimize your gifts. Of course… I LOVE THIS – and so should you!

“Community” is what allows us to live a joy filled life. (“Community” also defined, as families, friendship groups, circles, tribes, colleagues… you get my drift.) To SERVE WELL, it is almost required that we are encouraged, held accountable and ultimately pushed toward our “best self.” For most of human history, this has been a normal part of life, starting out with the earliest Native American tribes and, for my generation, playing kickball in the street until well after the sun has gone down. Today, many find themselves immersed in technology and other distractions. That seems almost too obvious to state but when the shoe fits… Heck, I don’t even like to get out of my car to go in the bank. God forbid I can’t take care of business on my phone or through a machine.

I like the idea of GOING DEEP. I need to work more at this. I’d love to achieve the greatness of a REDWOOD GROVE… to lock arms together with some amazing people and establish root systems that allow us all to grow and flourish.

Love and technology help the world go ’round

(Photo Creds: My Own)

South by Southwest (SXSW), the “convergence of the interactive, film and music industries” is an annual event (since 1987) held in the ultra-fun city of Austin Texas.

Over the 30 years, it has grown in scope and size and the “coolness” factor is off of the charts. Technology has become a key player and big names such as Twitter were launched into the public conscious at SXSW. (A bit of research shared that Twitter only paid $11,000 in 2007 to host some signage at the event… and from there, they were able to blow up their brand. Influence grew from there.)

All of that said, SXSW seems to be a great place for those “game changer” hopefuls to see and be seen. I personally haven’t been – though hopefully next year! – but have been a “follower” for a few years.

Here’s what stands out to me: technology is the single greatest influencer in our lives right now. Well, that and love… One helps the other is what I’ve found. When you bring it together with music and the arts, it’s a marriage made in the heavens.

Just why is that? The tools of technology have helped us simple humans express love in more active ways. It’s pretty cool that on your birthday, your friends and family from all generations of life can send you a greeting and spread the love and good energy. That’s an easy example. I also love that my mom can text now and that alone has given us an opportunity to cheer one another on, which didn’t exist at that level prior that technology. Instagram and Snapchat allow us to share visuals that bring us joy.

(But, of course, technology can also be blamed for mass sharing of negative. To be honest, my feeds are 95+% positive so in my opinion, we have the ability to scroll or swipe past the “stuff” that makes us crazy… our choice.)

Two key messages today:

  • Embrace technology and the “movements” such as the annual SXSW event that help leverage those into our world… (By the way, I have listed below the various tracks at this year’s event so you can see the diversity and potential impact to our society.)
  • As crazy as technology can sometimes make us, FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE and that it is a  TREMENDOUS VEHICLE FOR LOVE… sharing and growing. We can use this to our advantage and create a world that we all would love to be a part of.

Finally, for all of those that wished me a happy birthday, I want to thank you! Sometimes I get busy and don’t take the time to utilize that awesome feature on Facebook, so I greatly appreciate all of those that took the time to reach out! It  means the world to me that you did. KEEP ON SPREADING THE LOVE.

SWSW17 TRACKS:

  • Brands and Marketing
  • Design
  • Development & Code
  • Government
  • Health
  • Intelligent Future
  • Style
  • Tech Industry
  • Workplace
  • Entertainment influencers
  • Film & TV Industry
  • Making Films & Episodics
  • Making Music
  • Music Industry
  • Music Influencers
  • Touring & Live Experience
  • CLE  (Continuing Legal Education)
  • Experiential Storytelling
  • Food
  • Journalism
  • Social Impact
  • Sports
  • Startup Village
  • VR/AR (Virtual/Augmented reality technologies)

Go ahead, jump the fence!

(Photo creds: We Heart it)

Having the right photo or image is always important to me when I prep for a blog. I told my son I wanted to do something funny today – something to perhaps add some levity to our day and get away from anything too serious.

Initially, this idea of “jumping the fence” was captured in a conversation about diversity and the need for us to not be afraid to experience different cultures, food, people, environments, etc. That is still a good idea, but what’s better (I hope for you too) today is this perspective of the image.

Through all of the stress that America has realized over the last few months, and what seems like a never-ending back and forth accelerated by social media, WE REALLY NEED TO LAUGH.

So maybe this photo captures how you feel as you try to get away from your friends’ viewpoints on Trump…? Or, perhaps you had so much fun watching the Grammy Awards on Sunday that you gave some thought to changing career paths to become a rock star… You know you’ve got that image now of you on Monday morning with your blazer on and your friends cheering you on running & jumping toward your new found PATH TO GLORY.

No matter what it is, make it a demonstration of fun, friends and no doubt a lot of laughs. (By the way, that may be me struggling to even get up the dang fence.)

I’m in the mood to jump the proverbial fence into brighter territory. Into something meaningful and beautiful and truly FUN. Grab your tribe this weekend and create some memories filled with laughter!