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Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

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Live in the arena

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again … who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

Theodore Roosevelt

Want to level up your personal growth? Find a bit over an hour, log into Netflix and be prepared to actively take notes. You will laugh, you will nod in understanding and you will be changed. In her Netflix special, Dr. Brene Brown, says something to the tune of “there is my life before this quote (above) and my life after.” I could say the same thing about this show. Incredible.

She talks about “engineering smallness” in her life because of her fear to step into her own power and play big. (Frankly, that’s its own headline!)

She shares incredible data that proves that if we are to achieve anything – from career success to love – we will indeed fall, get our asses kicked, and experience heartbreak. (Ouch!)

She talks about being hard-wired for belonging, and our need to speak our truth and not betray ourselves for other people.

She educates about the need for us to be vulnerable…even in the workplace. Especially if we are to develop inclusivity, equity and diversity and have uncomfortable conversations that ultimately have the power to bring us to unity. (Folks… we need to be vulnerable… this is critical for our generation.)

That, my friends, encompasses only about 5 percent of the content. I truly hope that you will make it a priority to step into this great message. And if you’ve already caught her Netflix special, I’d love to hear about your takeaways!

The “arena” can for sure be intimidating – scary even. The “arena” is also that place where we grow, thrive and shine like no other place. You all are champions my friends! Cheering you on always.

Cultivate something that brings joy

Rewind! This is an adapted post from 2017. Happy Easter weekend!

I love the idea of community gardens. If you aren’t familiar, community gardens are managed by groups of people, generally to meet a community’s needs. Sometimes that need is because the area is in a food desert and other times it’s education. No matter the reason, it is a positive initiative that brings great value, and improves health and happiness.

A few years ago, our church did a sermon series around the idea of “cultivate,” which got me thinking about areas in my life where cultivation is needed.

“Cultivate” has a double meaning. One is about preparing and using land for crops or gardening. We do this by tilling, plowing, fertilizing, mulching, watering, weeding… the type of hard work that community gardeners know all too well. The second meaning is to “acquire or develop” a quality, sentiment or skill. (Also hard work)

The two definitions are connected.

At the time, I associated the series with the word “joy”. This association struck me as an area I needed to focus on during that season of my life… to develop … cultivate if you will. I’m sure you know by now that I consider joy to be important. I feel so strongly that JOY is something we can have but that it often requires cultivating, especially during hard seasons.

You might have an area of your life that you want to cultivate, and I encourage you to pursue that. I am hopeful some of you will join me in generating some joy in our homes, neighborhoods and workplaces! What can you do today to elevate and cultivate joy? This is a terrific weekend to do just that!

My top books of 2019 – so far

Happy Tuesday! Today’s a good day to share what I’ve learned so far this year through my readings. They have all been good, with Notorious RBG, The Art of Gathering & Joyful being my favs.

I picked one take away from each of them and shared it below. If you decide to grab one let me know what you think (or if you’ve read them already)! Have an amazing week!

The Messy Middle, by Scott Belsky – This is a leadership read that is pretty heavy in content (it took me a while to get through it and truly digest the information). One of my favorite insights was on “organizational debt,” which is “the idea of ‘bounty program’ … in this system, any employee who encounters a policy or process that is hindering their ability to deliver value to the customer can submit the policy/process and a recommendation to the program website. The idea is to incentivize everyone to bash inefficiencies and dumb practices that contribute to organizational debt.”

The Art of Gathering, by Priya Parker – So much amazing work in this book. I’d grab this one for sure if you like to read. One simple idea here: “If you want a lively but inclusive conversation as a core part of your gathering, eight to twelve people is the number you should consider. Smaller than eight, the group can lack diversity in perspective; larger than twelve, it begins to be difficult to give everyone a chance to speak.”

Girl, Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis – This book is just so fun. It’s a simple read/self help type of book with some profound thoughts. One particular idea that I liked: “1.) I went to therapy. 2.) I hustled for joy. (love, love, love this) 3.) I reordered my list.”

Woke Church, by Eric Mason – I read this alongside a beautiful young professional I sometimes get a chance to mentor. It’s a call to justice and about understanding how socioeconomic, philosophical and historical realities inform our responsibility. An abbreviated excerpt from the back of this book says it best: “The church in America should have rejected the first whispers of slavery. But we didn’t. We should have stopped segregation and Jim Crow before they affected communities. But we didn’t. We should have been woke, but we’ve been asleep.”

Joyful, by Ingrid Fetell Lee – A really interesting and fun read that covers the full gamut of joy. One idea I appreciated: “I began to notice that while the topic of work-life balance comes up frequently in media, play is largely absent from the conversation… The most joyful people I know manage to hold space for play in their adult lives (think playing a sport, family game night, etc.).

The 10X Rule, by Grant Cardone – A classic book that has been around for a bit. So many key parts to this, but the one I hadn’t heard and resonated the most: “You must keep adding wood until the fire is so hot that no one – and nothing – can put out your success.” This was a call to action around all areas of your life! Keep adding wood my friends to what’s important to you!

Notorious RBG, by Irin Carmon and Shana Knizhnik – Honestly you should read this no matter what your political interests or otherwise area. This absolutely fun read about the life of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Gisburg is terrific in at least 100 different ways. I love all of it, but this quote in the beginning received a few stars: While reading her dissent in a voting rights case, she quotes Martin Luther King directly, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice,” she said, but then she added her own words: “If there is a steadfast commitment to see the task through to completion.” Now that is true and powerful.

The 5AM Club, by Robin Sharma – I have followed Sharma for many years and his latest is a great reminder of the power of taking over our days by starting out right. His section on the 4 focuses of history-makers is solid: 1) Capitalization IQ (“What makes a legendary performer so good isn’t the amount of natural talent they are born into, but the extent of that potential they actualize and capitalize.”) 2) Freedom from Distraction 3) Day Stacking 4) Personal Mastery practice.

Farsighted, by Steven Johnson – The book is all about how we make decisions and how to make better ones. His compelling first comments, “Countless studies have shown, humans are wired to resist losses more than to seek gains,” set you off on a deeper understanding of how our habits and even wiring may not help us make the best decisions and how we should consider understanding at a deeper level how to make better choices.

Chasing Daylight, by Eugene O’Kelly – I have blogged previously about this excellent, short read. Mr. Kelly wrote this book over his last few months after an unexpected illness took over his body at 53 years old. It’s a powerful reminder to to live intentionally. “To get the most out of each moment and day-and not just pass through it.”

Leave every conversation with energy

Being an energy GIVER versus an energy TAKER is a goal that we should have.

When people interact with you, be it on the phone (yes an actual call), via text or in a meeting, do they leave noticing that they have more energy than when the communication began? Another way to say it, is do they feel better… more inspired, excited or hopeful?

This isn’t the kind of energy a cheerleader brings – although that is great energy. This is the kind that LIFTS the atmosphere. The kind that heightens your awareness of life itself and how we can accomplish and achieve so much more together. No matter if it is holding someone’s pain with them, challenging them to level up in a specific area, or encouraging them to develop a plan to achieve their personal goals… this ENERGY brings the mood of the room up a notch.

We all need energy transfusions. We all need to be more aware of how we “leave a conversation.” Are we elevating the ENERGY, or can we do better? I for one, can always do better by being more aware of even the most simple transactions…

I hope you’ll join me in raising the POSITIVE ENERGY in our world! We certainly need it!

Stumbling upward… Going beyond the easy button in the diversity conversation

I like to tackle tough conversations. I always hesitate a bit to throw it out on the blog, but I need to be more brave.

There is a literal jewel of a book that just came out recently, “How Good People Fight Bias – The Person YOU Mean to Be,” by Dolly Chugh. It’s probably the most powerful book I’ve read on the topic, taking on the ideas that stir in many of us in a fresh way. The concept of “stumbling upward” in the pages made me want to spend the rest of my days doing just that: striving to be better in all aspects of my life. In this particular topic of understanding tolerance and diversity, I am certain I can grow meaningfully.

In the book, Chugh tells the story of two well-meaning business guys, “Fitz and Zach” who brought the “Unconference” idea to Chicago. The idea of the “Unconference” is to bring together a network of people with agendas created on the spot, generating much energy and innovation. The organizers are responsible for the who, when and where of the event. These two guys, started with their own network, initially 118 people and only 14 women – most men being white. When called out on by the audience, they both were quite embarrassed. They didn’t realize that their networks, unintentionally, had become a bunch of people that looked like them. It was a true “bro-fest,” as the book refers to it. Once their awareness was made clear, they were able to correct their ways and begin developing networks that broadened their homogeneous network.

“They asked people to nominate people “more amazing than you.” One time, they asked people to nominate “women and minorities.” Another time, they asked participants to nominate people “who don’t look like you, if you usually are in the majority.” No method was perfect, but every attempt was a stumble upward.”

By 2017 their events had equal numbers of men and women and diversity was evident. Chugh introduces concepts that we all need to be aware of, including ordinary privilege, willful awareness and others. These topics are important. We all need to be more aware, like “Fitz and Zach.” What would your event look like if you hosted one? We need to understand the issues, and can do so by reading books such as this, attending events, expanding our networks and conversations. If we want to serve well for both our generation and those that follow, we should consider this a critical learning opportunity. I’m in.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: History repeats itself

Tucked into Alex Seeley’s summer book debut, “Tailormade,” there is a sweet little chapter with this title.

The focus is on generational patterns and how they subtlety creep into our lives, even when we promise ourselves that we will or won’t “handle” life like those that went before us. It’s interesting that this behavior is exactly how the patterns continue. We must get to a place where we actually work through whatever caused us to proclaim that anyway, and where we can identify why we felt how we did. In a more simple statement: We need freedom so that we can actually stop the pattern.

I love the simplicity of the Psalms, and this one in particular: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” (147:3)  (His promises on this topic are covered in quite a few other verses, so if you like to look up references, check out Isaiah 61:1 and 61:3.)

The verse is a little strong, so please recognize that not all generational patterns create a broken heart but to me, the idea that he “heals” us at all levels is comforting. I have found that both God’s word and being in a strong community of close friends with faith are essential to working through issues. I would also say a good counselor can be a game changer. When we are forced to ask the right questions we can all of a sudden seem to understand more. That clarity, mixed with taking action to recognize and deal with the answers brings us to freedom and the ability to actually stop the pattern.

Without a good plan, history will indeed repeat itself.

This week, let’s repeat the good, the healthy and the flat out awesome. If we have anything we need to better understand about ourselves, let’s look at our generational history and claim the outcome we desire. (For me, it seems like there will always be something I want to work on to be the best version of myself. Truly, it’s one of the favorite parts of  life… the sheer ability as a human to get better and stronger and help others in the process is as good as it gets.) 

The ripple effect of our actions – or our inactions – are enormous

Now here’s a statement I could probably just leave as is and not opine further. It’s something for us all to think about and it certainly hit a nerve with me.

Most of us hear the word “ripple” and think of positive change… Things we do to “pay it forward,” and that have a lasting impact. I love that idea the most. It’s healing and somehow magical to think how we can all make a such a difference in our world. For that part, keep dreaming it and keep doing it! We need all of the positive ripples we can get.

For the last part, well, how often do we really think about our inaction? What are we not doing that is leaving a lasting impact? I don’t know, but here’s what came to mind…

  • Am I not telling my team how awesome they are enough?
  • Am I not doing enough?
  • Have I not done my part to create a neighborhood that’s caring and fun, and that embraces the spirit of what a neighborhood should be?
  • Have I not showcased to the next generation how to foster and build community?
  • Have I not stopped lately to pick up a piece of trash in my walking path? How does passing by that effect the world and that of our grandchildren and their children?

Hopefully you can track the train of thought here. It was definitely a stop-and-think statement, and I hope it does the same for you. Have such a wonderful week and let’s all go for the positive ripples and take action!

A day to honor: Memorial Day

Memorial Day is about honor.

As we kick off this week, focused on honoring those who have served our country and lost their lives, I pray that we will all consider the impact this sacrifice has had on our lives. In America, we experience freedom of every possible type. This has come at a price. It will personally be a great joy to lift up to God my many thanks for this gift. My gift in return will be to not only live a life of excellence, but to inspire others to do the same.

Let’s make this week all about HONOR. One of my favorite discussion topics, because we need to keep it front and center.

Have an amazing long weekend. I pray that you will be refreshed and that a spirit of honor will fill your heart and home.

I want to also take a moment to recognize not only those who have left us through their service to our country, but to all who have gone ahead of us. We are who we are because of their impact on our lives.

(Rewind — this post is adapted from 2016, 2017)

What kind of king did they expect? Celebrating Holy Week

It’s Palm Sunday and although many know the story, I think it is always good to go deeper and really try to wrap your mind around the meaning and how it impacts us today.

This is my “Simple Thoughts Sunday” version, but I do have to admit this is anything but “simple” for me. As a Christian who is full of faith, I believe fully — but on the other side, I totally understand why some would question the whole story. I mean, how can a community literally lay down their total respect, and welcome a “King” one day, and just a few days later persecute and ultimately murder him? How could that happen?

After a bit of research, I have come to understand that quite possibly the crowds who welcomed Jesus into town on that first Palm Sunday, waving their palm branches to demonstrate their honor, were not the same community members who rallied for his death. Those that stood in the former camp were those that likely expected “their King” to come and set up new political systems and otherwise fight to protect them from the Roman control. They quite possibly were also put off by the teachings that we should repent of our sins and instead change our hearts and shine our light for a brighter world through our actions of mercy and love.

This “King” was the complete opposite of the king they expected. They wanted bold and bravado. Jesus represented an approach that was difficult to embrace.

As you begin Holy Week, I think it’s useful to contemplate what kind of “King” (or person leading your life) would you truly want. I personally love the “King” that I believe came to literally save us from ourselves. Someone who is full of grace and forgiveness, yet who in their strength, gives me the confidence and faith that I fully know that “He’s got this,” no matter what situation I’m in.

Have a wonderful week my friends. It is such a blessing to be alive at this moment in time, and to as a community share our different faiths and showcase love at all times.

Rewind: Go ahead, jump the fence!

(Photo creds: We Heart it)

(This is a throwback post to 2017, because levity goes a long way.)

I told my son I wanted to do something funny today – something to add some levity to our day and get away from anything too serious.

Initially, this idea of “jumping the fence” was captured in a conversation about diversity and the need for us to not be afraid to experience different cultures, food, people, environments, etc. That is still a good idea, but what’s better today is this perspective of the image.

Through all of the stress that America has realized over the last few months, and what seems like a never-ending back and forth accelerated by social media, we really need to laugh.

So maybe this photo captures how you feel as you try to get away from your friends’ viewpoints on Trump…? Or, perhaps you had so much fun watching the Grammy Awards on Sunday that you gave some thought to changing career paths to become a rock star… You know you’ve got that image now of you on Monday morning with your blazer on and your friends cheering you on running & jumping toward your new found PATH TO GLORY.

No matter what it is, make it a demonstration of fun, friends and no doubt a lot of laughs. (By the way, that may be me struggling to even get up the dang fence.)

I’m in the mood to jump the proverbial fence into brighter territory. Into something meaningful and beautiful and truly FUN. Grab your tribe this weekend and create some memories filled with laughter!