To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

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Simple Thoughts Sunday: “You are strong and brave” – The power of provision

Sometimes it is so challenging for me to choose what to write about. I have so many swirling thoughts that trying to lasso in the one God wants me to focus on can be challenging. I try to be mindful of what speaks to me and what might serve you all the most. On this Sunday, I hope that at least one of you finds some good in these humble words. So, drum roll please on where my heart went for this post…

I’m reminded over and over again this week that God’s provision is literally spread around like confetti if we search for it.

Lysa Terkeurst (@lyseterkeurst) is one of those women who provides mentorship from afar. She’s an author and fellow mom, and recently she made a comment that spoke to me. It was something to the tune of “God’s word is the only provision you need.” In my experience, that’s about right. If you tune in, you might find that the direction or guidance you need is right in front of you. In fact, God’s word illustrates beautifully the primary insight of this post, which is that of the “provision” of friendship.

The people you find yourself surrounded by are an example of God’s provision in my mind. The people who seem to step into the story at just the right time; who send you an encouraging text, or share a photo just in time… The people who God chose to surround you at that exact point in your life. What a gift!

Who else loves the truth that you have a God-given tribe around you, and that they were designated for you personally, just for this moment? On the flip side, who else wants to be the person chosen to be that friend to someone else? I love to be there for others, and want to be able to give my time, my presence, my love … especially in times of need. Lysa shared some terrific advice for us as we think through how to be a better friend in a tough time:

“Instead of (asking) ‘Are you okay?’ text this: ‘You are strong and brave. If you ever have a day you forget that, I’m here to remind you.'”

Lysa Terkeurst

Isn’t that great? It really spoke to me, both as someone who would love better ways to help others, but also someone who needs this personally.

I have felt the challenges of the last year on my soul. The accumulation of all manner of stresses has left me wondering what in the world is going on. In all of that, God has clearly appointed some beautiful people to be that provision for me, and today I am especially grateful for that gift. I hope that some or all of you may be reading this in case I haven’t personally thanked you. I know I need to find time to do way better at sharing my heart on this matter. It occurs to me, that some of you may not know you are filling that role because you didn’t know I was in this phase*. (Anyone else not big on sharing the not so fun parts of life?)

I hope that you realize God has given us the provisions we need in this life. He has given us his guidance in stories. He has provided us leaders, like Lysa, with wisdom to share, countless friends, and thankfully has provided us eyes and ears to be alert, and to listen; hearts to encourage, and minds to know to step in when needed. All of these should be counted as great blessings, for I believe they are the very roots of our lives, holding us regardless of the changing winds.

I’m praying for you all today – for you to continue to grow and learn, and to desire to run toward God and every dream and every hope in your heart.

*If you don’t know my entire story, you may not be aware that it has been a heavy lift literally from what I remember as 3 years old forward. I have written it and will publish it at some point, but in the meantime, feel free to ask and I will share individually. I share those only to say that my writing does not come without true experience.

The power of our decisions (Yep, we get to decide, cultivate and grow – or not.)

Today I’m thinking through about how we have the power to choose. Ultimately – especially in the United States – we have the opportunity to choose from an endless amount of options for our careers, our living arrangements, the foods we eat, our physical and mental well being, our relationships, our spiritual practices, and the list goes on. We also get to choose from a list of emotional choices that can create a thriving life. Are we choosing to be grateful? Kind? Resilient? Health focused?

I think personally it’s helpful to stop and ask myself some hard questions, such as: “Why am I choosing what I have, and is there a better “yes?” (Am I investing my time in areas that align to my personal values MOST of the time? Am I choosing generosity and kindness, or to speak out unkind thoughts and emotions?) Also, “What choices have I not made but really wish I would or could change somehow and why haven’t I changed directions?” (Am I optimizing God’s purpose for my life, or for some reason, just riding out my current choices?) It seems that sometimes life feels like you got on a long train ride and for some reason, the next station looks really cool and you think you should stop, but you just stay on board, because it wasn’t your intended destination.

How do we make an adjustment if we think we need to? My personal go to is always to do whatever it is I need to in order to hear from God. This comes from leaning in… often from conversations with friends and family and reading, and many times from time in silence and removing any distractions. This is easier said than done, but we can position our hearts and minds to receive guidance.

The field of positive psychology is the scientific study of the strengths that enable individuals and communities to thrive. It’s a relatively new area of study, (The field originated in the year 2000 which I find interesting. I think I’d have considered it if it were an option circa 1986.) One fact I thought was interesting during my research is that the field focuses on “eudaimonia,” an ancient Greek term for “the good life,” and the concept for reflection on the factors that contribute the most to a well-lived and fulfilling life. What is the “good life” to you? What contributes to fulfillment in your mind? This brings forward a slightly different way to look at these insights on choice and optimization of your life.

As you think through your days, I hope it’s useful to you to consider this idea of CHOICE and the GOOD LIFE. No doubt, all sorts of good and bad come our way, but ultimately we can choose to respond in ways that support how we want to live our lives. That is a POWERFUL gift really. Make no mistake, your choices, impact all around you. If we were to all commit to cultivating the “BEST YES” for us, I believe we would only become stronger and stronger with each decision, and thus serve one another better. Anyone else love that idea?

I pray you are having a truly wonderful week.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: God meets you at the level of your expectation

Rewind! This is a throwback post that was speaking to me this week!

I heard this strong message last week and it captured me. The very thought that God meets us where we are is not only comforting, but galvanizing. Whether we are in a mode of praise and gratitude or on a path of seeking and searching… He is there. If we are boldly moving forward with fresh thinking and new plans… He is there. If we find ourselves in a matter of hours (or moments) circulating through emotions of love and struggle… He will also meet us there if we are open to Him.

If we, for some reason, cannot get to our faith, we can build on a committed focus in 3 key areas (although I’m sure there are many more – so consider this a start):

  1. Surrounding ourselves with a community of people who are able to lift us up and provide both celebration and accountability.
  2. Prayer. No matter if it’s a two word prayer (i.e. “help me”) or a specific and verbose prayer – prayer is POWERFUL.
  3. Reading, listening to or watching messages that contain scripture and teachings that encourage our faith and help us grow in our understanding. One great benefit of our generation is that we have access to almost any type of media available that helps us however we learn best. I love that.

I hope that your faith will grow this week and that it is truly a week of happiness and extreme joy! Let’s all raise our expectations and allow God to step in with whatever we need right now.

In the midst of a cultural reset: shifting to all that is strength

This incredible photo of an Osprey, is courtesy of @_thepaintedsky, aka Jessica Walker, who I happened upon via @annvoskamp’s unbelievably beautiful weekly blog, “Only the Good Stuff: Multivitamins for your Weekend”

This thought narrative of a “cultural reset” came from a post from Rebekah Lyons titled, “Look what we get to do together.” In the spirit of transparency, I needed more than anything this week to shift from bewilderment to my normal operating mode, which is, “what if? What is God working on? What am I to learn from where I am or we are right now, and how do I or we move ahead with bold and positive strength (of ideas, wisdom, peace)?” This idea has me right where I need to be right now, and I wonder if it might be beneficial for you as well. I feel like the universe is saying, “yep, that’s exactly what we need to do.” Shift. Advance to the next step.

This beautiful photograph led me on a trail to find out just what that bird was. The Osprey made its way into the books in 1460 and its name means “bird of prey.” This beautiful creature is an incredible fishing sportsman, catching a meal in at least 1 in every 4 dives. (Goodness, Audrie, why can’t I catch a fish after 100 casts of the line?) Their average time hunting is all of 12 minutes. They are, essentially, badasses. The Osprey also is agile, building nests on the tops of telephone poles and other manmade structures, which makes them unique. In my mind, they look around and see what is available, what is worthy and they make it their place – regardless of where it is.

I have a couple of thoughts stirring. First, as a human, we are at the top of the food chain (so to speak). In other words, God made us the original badasses. We have been given, and are given daily, all that we need. This is pure truth folks. You are strong, you are bold, you are outrageously capable of moving above the current situation and helping create solutions and generating positive energy and ideas that will help lift the human race. We all have a role, whether you are like my mom, hanging out in her retirement community lifting the spirits of others, or, like our team at work – on the front lines – caring for those that aren’t well and watching the news closely (and praying earnestly) so they know what step to take next.

Second, like the Osprey, we may need to look around and be ready to strike and to make it our place. I find such beauty in this. It’s simple. Look around. There is work to be done. Whether you find yourself in the quiet or in the middle of the chaos, God will make it clear where you can use your gifts or resources to move us out of this season. We need to lift our heads outside of our phones and television sets and insist that we acknowledge that we can do something. Even a child or a senior can spend an hour writing encouraging cards to healthcare workers and those in hospital beds that cannot see family right now. Insist that you and your family rise up. (A quick sidebar: One of our staff members and her family recently spent their night sorting scrubs for our front line providers and her children wrote notes to each of them. How cool is that?)

Folks, we ARE in a cultural shift. Our world will be changed after this. We will be talking about this for years – maybe decades. How it shifts is entirely up to us. My prayer is that we will SHIFT into a higher level of ourselves, to a higher awareness on what we can do together and that at the end we find ourselves loving each other better and stronger and even more than we ever have in our world’s history. This is our time to rise.

Step aside, fears: 5 ideas to pursue the good right now

I don’t normally write about faith, and specifically my belief in God, during the weekday posts, but given our current environment it feels important. Someone shared with me that in the Bible there are 366 references to “Do not Fear,” which for 2020, a leap year, is exactly 1 time for each day of the year. Isn’t that interesting?

I have to tell you, fear is real… At first I didn’t really like using that word, but I decided to look it up for the blog and I have to say this sort of resonates: an “unpleasant feeling, triggered by the perception of danger, real or imagined.” Triggered. That is exactly what is happening. And if you are like me, and have a hard time looking away from your phone when you are otherwise not detained by work, a conversation or head down in a project or good book…then you are constantly being triggered from all matter of sources. Sometimes it’s funny images that add levity to the situation, and other times it’s the gripping news coming from hot spots around the world. All said, we have to be careful with what we are feeding ourselves in order to maintain as much peace as is possible.

What approach or idea may be better? My pastor shared the message in the image above on Sunday (online), and it’s written in BOLD in my journal now. The note I wrote to myself is what’s most important to me… Just how do I best pursue that right now?

Pursue defined: To follow… to capture… to chase…  

I can visualize chasing JOY right now! In fact, CAPTURING it and holding it close at every turn. (Side note: To me, God is love and love is joy and pursuing God is in fact chasing after what He desires for us.)

How about some practical ideas on how we can do this? Here are 5, but it’s so much more fun for you all to share your ideas, so please do that below!

  • Make a commitment to sharing what is good and fun! Some of my team members made a game of sending selfies with our “masks” and that was great for bringing joy into the day. One of my college friends sent over pics of her car decorated for a parade her and the other teachers created to drive through their district neighborhoods. That is chasing joy! My son sent me our favorite Twitter feed today:
  • Set a firm limit on how much screen time you will allow yourself… Seriously.
  • Take advantage of this unexpected time. It is a gift. Extra time for your kids, for special projects, for dreaming up ways to serve others.
  • Pump up the music? What’s your all-time favorite band? Music genre (hello ’80s!)? Make a playlist, have a dance party, sing-along or whatever to get your mind moving in a positive direction…Allow yourself to feel the shift in energy.
  • Surround yourself with positive! Positive messages, positive people (you may need to call or reach out to your most positive friend, or the one who always makes you laugh). Be so intentional about this that every day you wake up, commit to pursuing the positive! 

Your turn!

I am praying for our world, our city and for each of you and for your families. You are all a blessing! Let’s pursue service, love and joy – and find our fears step aside.

Black History month matters: A call for us all to take action

For some reason, It seems to me that I have always had a desire to “read up”, if you will, to better understand men and women who looked differently than I do. I’d like to say it came from hours around a dinner table of parents or grandparents that stressed the importance, and even made efforts to expose me, but that wouldn’t be true. At work this week, we were referencing the classic, “What you talkin’ ’bout, Willis,” line from the 1978-1985 iconic show, “Diff’rent Strokes,” so perhaps that is the genesis.

More than likely, however, is that some brilliant teacher planted a seed early on. (And that my friends is why we should all love and pay great respect to our teachers!).

Here’s the thing: While I have always had this desire, it continually seems to hit me in the face that I still don’t know enough. My efforts are good, but not acceptable – at least to me. It shouldn’t be the case that in America today that, at age 51 (almost 52), I am learning that Rosa Parks wasn’t the first to refuse to give up her seat on a bus. There were actually several before her – such as 15-year old Claudette Colvin, who was studying the great inequality injustice at the time, and opted for a bold move to make her point. I read her story just today. By the way, she also ended up in jail.

More grave is a story I learned two years ago, when my friend and mentor Tanesha, took me to a Black History event held at the University of Missouri Kansas City campus. Shocked, lump in your throat, disturbed…. all may be a good way to describe how I felt when finding out that of the 12.5 million Africans shipped to the New World via the Translantic Slave Trade, that fewer than 388,000 arrived in the United States. (According to PBS.com.) That means that over 12 million men, women, children… loving grandparents, respected community members… all died A tragic death during the journey. To put that in perspective, 6 million Jewish people were killed by Nazi Germany by the end of World War II and the Holocaust. (According to Guardian.com). It left me unraveled.

I hope that you knew this and that you have already made strides in using your influence to help us be better. If you didn’t, I hope this helps paint the picture that we need to work toward truly understanding the human experiences of our fellow countrymen/women. Society as a whole is impacted tremendously by history in many ways – psychologically, physiologically, socially, economically, etc. By studying and building awareness, even at the most cursory levels (although we shouldn’t stop there), we are able to move toward eradicating stereotypes, and improve society as a whole.

The founder of Black History Month, Carter G Woodson, considered his role was to use “black history and culture as a weapon in the struggle for racial uplift.” (Smithsonian Institute) That is a weapon we can all get behind. By 1916, he had established the Association for the Study of Negro Life and Culture with a goal of making black history accessible to a wider audience. In February of 1926, Black History Month launched in America. We might think that in 94 years we would have made such progress that this recognition wouldn’t be needed, however, the facts demonstrate this is not the case. Us American’s are a tough group. As the Smithsonian article I am referencing noted, “The chains of slavery are gone, but we are all not free.” The author’s final note describes slavery is an African American success story “because we found ways to survive, to preserve our culture and our families.” I appreciate that optimistic viewpoint.

I hope today’s blog offers you a bit of inspiration to do some research regardless of your race or background. I can assure you that it is worthy to always better understand those that God has placed to live this life out with us side by side. We are so much better together and beyond powerful when unified.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: A game-changing thought to start your day in the most amazing way!

I adapted this from a post from @ChristineCaine via Twitter. Christine is the leader of the @A21 campaign – a global organization fighting the battle of human trafficking. It’s a powerful movement. I wondered if, when she wrote this, her mind drifted to the thousands of girls and boys who are being held captive, waiting for someone to rescue them. Certainly the idea of praying for a still heart and an emboldened spirit must be a desperate cry that somehow provides peace in the most stressful situations.

What do you need to call on the Holy Spirit for today?

  • Acceptance that those you love – and that life in general – isn’t perfect?
  • Forgiveness for someone who may not have the emotional capacity to forgive in response?
  • How about a SPIRIT OF JOY? Good, honest, happiness?

This is a question worth asking. It’s also worth writing down. The act of simply asking each morning for the Holy Spirit to move on your behalf just might change your life. In fact, I’m proof positive that this is not only possible, but probable.

Today, I pray that your hearts are overflowing with love and that you surround yourself with whatever it is that warms you through and through. Cheering you all on with love and prayers.

High-stakes questions leverage personal growth

How do I get better? How can the team, be it my family at home, or at the office, get better?

I think about this often and have said frequently in the last decade, “cater to my success, not my ego.” (A lesson I learned from a fellow panelist that will never leave me. Note to self: Always pay attention… Everyone can teach you something.) A change up from my early career when I “needed” that validation that I was headed in the right direction. We absolutely have to ask this question and truly want honest feedback. It is my thought that moving to new levels requires a desire to get to the layers that are not always apparent blind spots, if you will.

On a podcast episode I listened to earlier this week – the Tony Robbins Podcast – there was a great discussion about high stakes and high-leverage strategies. The profound lesson here is that this is not rocket science. It’s not a 12-step process, nor something that we need extravagant degrees in order to put into play and be successful. Asking the right easy questions is the message I took away. And better yet, putting in place a cadence in your life, at work, home or wherever life finds you so that you develop “mental models” for how you are going to process life, learn and grow. When something happens, starting with this easy question, “What is one thing I would change?” can alone be powerful if we ask it consistently and build an arsenal of information that helps inform us so that we can make better decisions next time. Lean in a bit, ask “tell me more,” versus jumping in believing you are adding value when presented with a question or need for advice. Holding on long enough to get to deeper information can help us achieve higher levels of tangible impact.

So much good information surrounds us. I love that part of society today. There are endless ways we can engage and literally no excuse at any age for slowing down our learning.

My hope is that this inspires you a bit to ask yourself, “What is one thing?” One thing to be a better leader, better parent, better friend, better daughter, son, grandchild, sister, community member, neighbor… Or on your next project – be it trying a new recipe or wrapping up a significant project at the office – asking honestly and boldly: What is that one thing that would have elevated this experience?” What if we all do this and make a collective impact? There is power in that my friends.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Everything is provided for you

    Like most of you (probably all, frankly), life has been a series of twists and turns.

    With Labor Day weekend upon us, my mind drew a parallel between life’s twists and turns and those that come with a road trip during a long weekend. I’m visualizing great company, fun pit stops, convenience store snacks, an energetic sing-a-long to “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough,” and … perhaps a few tense conversations, some scary side roads off of the beaten path where you’re not totally confident you know where you’re going, flat tires, and heavy rain thwarting your adventures.

    I oftentimes stand in awe of the wonder of God. He takes every last detail and creates beauty. When I think of beauty, I consider deep meaning – a richness of love and life that can only be experienced by fully living. We do this by gathering up both extremes – the magical and tragic experiences – and continuing to move through them by listening and learning with an intent to grow. 

    Of the list in the photo above, restores & loves resonates the most to me at this point in my life adventure. This is certainly not an inclusive list, but it’s powerful. What stands out to you? Please share!

    Bold prayers for a wonderful week ahead my friends.

    The happiness blog

    What a wonderful question! So… what do you think? Who are you with when you are the happiest? 

    Do you feel warm and settled in with family? Game night? Holidays? A simple stroll through the neighborhood, sharing about your day? 

    Perhaps you’re happiest when grabbing a cup of coffee with a trusted confidant?

    Or maybe it’s adventuring the world with your best friend? 

    Better yet – riding down a country road with a great playlist while your dog enjoys the breeze out the back window?

    Happy? What does it even mean, and does it really matter? To me it is feeling free to be fully myself; to have someone share the full experience of life… bringing the fun and adventurous in one moment, and diving into a deep conversation in the next. (For the record, Merriam-Webster showcases happy as contentment, well-being, glad, pleased, atmosphere of fellowship.)  All of that sounds okay but for me not enough... happy should be pure and bold joy!

    And regarding the whole “does it matter” part: of course it does! I hope your heart would give a resounding YES to that question, but in case you didn’t know, the topic is backed by science. A 2005 paper found that happiness predicts lower heart rates and blood pressure. In the study, participants rated their happiness over 30 times in one day, and then again three years later – a significant study. Your happiness level also impacts productivity. Researchers find that there is a 12 percent increase in productivity when people are happy and a 10 percent decrease when unhappy. I don’t know about you but I can’t afford to lose 10 percent of my days. (These are only a couple of studies… if you need more reason I’d be happy to fill up your inbox… think lowering stress, improving immunity, etc.).

    All of that information was not surprising to me at all, but nevertheless, powerful if you take it in fully. I hope that in some way, bringing this to your attention prompts you to shift your focus on understanding what and who makes you the happiest. For me, it is worth my time and energy because life is fleeting, as we were all reminded this week with the tragedies happening across our nation and even locally. I want to spend every minute I can with those that help me thrive and grow! 

    So… it seems like a really good time to consider stirring up some happiness! How about calling that amazing friend and scheduling a summer sunset experience or perhaps a long chat on one of the many great patios around town. The options are endless.

    Have an incredible week!