To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

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Top reads for 2019

This is such a tough post for me, because I truly love all books – and for totally different reasons. I think that’s likely true for all of us, that we gravitate toward what we individually need to hear at that particular time in this season of life.

All of that to say, I am going to attempt this anyway. After all, I hear from some of you that you’d love to see another post on top books – and I aim to serve! This one is long overdue, since my last book post was in… April. Oops! You can find other posts related to books I love in the archives under “book reviews.”

Here are my top 10 for the year, each with some excerpts that highlight why they made the list (The first three from my April post):

Notorious RBG, by Irin Carmon and Shana Knizhnik – No matter your political interests, this is such a good read. This absolutely fun read about the life of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is terrific in 100 different ways. I love all of it, but this quote in the beginning in particular: While reading her dissent in a voting rights case, she quotes Martin Luther King directly, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice,” she said, but then she added her own words: “If there is a steadfast commitment to see the task through to completion.” Now that is true and powerful.

The Art of Gathering, by Priya Parker – So much amazing work in this book. I’d grab this one for sure if you like to read topics that appeal in multiple areas of your life. One simple idea here: “If you want a lively but inclusive conversation as a core part of your gathering, eight to twelve people is the number you should consider. Smaller than eight, the group can lack diversity in perspective; larger than twelve, it begins to be difficult to give everyone a chance to speak.”

Joyful, by Ingrid Fetell Lee – A really interesting and fun read that covers the full gamut of joy. One idea I appreciated: “I began to notice that while the topic of work-life balance comes up frequently in media, play is largely absent from the conversation… The most joyful people I know manage to hold space for play in their adult lives (think playing a sport, family game night, etc.).”

Shoe Dog, by Phil Knight – This was on everyone’s top list in 2016-17, but it took me a while to dive in. It did not disappoint, and could arguably be my number one book. It’s a classic tale of starting from the beginning, finding your path, and what is required (absolute commitment, focus and imagination) for top-level individuals and companies to achieve success. Phil is the founder of Nike and you can imagine the power of the story. The power of any great story is found when purpose is exposed. This line captures it well, “I walked out of the room, I thought of that phrase, ‘It’s just business,’, It’s never just business. It never will be. If it ever does become just business, that will mean that business is very bad.” Profound truth.

Women Rowing North, by Mary Pipher – The inside cover reads, “A guide to wisdom, authenticity, and bliss for women as they age…a timely examination of the cultural and developmental issues women face ...” There are so many valuable nuggets in here, but I highlighted this one: “One day I told her that I greatly admired how she handled her difficult situation with such good cheer. She looked at me and said, ‘Mary, I have no choice about the leukemia, but I can control how I deal with it. I might as well act right and have something to feel good about.'” That’s so true about almost everything in life. We get to decide. Another that spoke to me: “On further reflection, I realized that I often become my own worst enemy, constantly signing myself up for combat duty when I really want to stay home, pet my cat and read a book.” (Okay, not the cat part, but Jennie and Gretchen, that’s for you!)

Range, by David Epstein – This read takes on the idea of whether it is best to “specialize” in a field/hobby/etc., or if it’s better to have a “range” of interests/focuses/preparations. Notable authors such as Malcolm Gladwell and Daniel Pink praise Epstein’s work, and this is indeed a solid read on the topic our path to excellence in life. I loved this: “Instead, she told me, in a clever inversion of a hallowed axiom, ‘First act, then think,’ Ibarra marshaled social psychology to argue persuasively that we are each made up of numerous possibilities. As you put it, ‘We discover the possibilities by doing, by trying new activities, building new networks, finding new role models.’ We learn who we are in practice, not in theory.” So good. As we go into 2020 and a new decade, where do we need to develop new possibilities?

The Moment of Lift, by Melinda Gates – From the inside cover: “How can we summon a moment of lift for human beings?” And also: “I had to write this book- to share the stories of people who have given focus and urgency to my life.” Those “people,” those “stories,” are from countries and cultures across the world, whom we have the power to help “lift,” thereby using the gifts God has given us to help all of humanity. It is about helping others use their voice, and build lives and generations by challenging the status quo. Who is giving urgency to my/your life right now? Where and who do we need to pursue to ensure we use your gifts and achieve our purpose? Those questions are true for every single age. It’s a useful question for launching into the new decade.

The Innovator’s DNA, by Jeff Dyer, Hal Gregersen, and Clayton M. Christensen – This book hones in on 5 skills for innovators using stories from the great innovator’s of our time, Apple, Google, etc. It’s a true business read, chalked full of quality content, research and stories we can use. One such example, “Google holds an ‘Innovator’s Challenge’, four times each year. In this competition, employees submit ideas for management review. Winning ideas receive the resources necessary to maintain momentum. Innovation at Google is very democratic; it lets market forces determine which ideas move forward.” I am always challenged by these types of reads and look forward to any ideas I can grab and use. Perhaps you are as well.

Rhythms of Renewal, by Rebekah Lyons – One of my favorites, and the topic of a blog post from October. Why do I love it? I love the topic itself, I love the simplicity of every single chapter and I feel like this book alone makes me better. That is saying a lot. One thought that is powerful as you go into the new year: “When we rest long enough to take inventory, when we ask God to cultivate our hearts, talents and passions according to the purpose he planned before our days began, we’ll find new horizons opening up, horizons beyond all we could ask or imagine. It’s never too late to re-establish what you want your life to be about.” So good.

Stillness is the Key, by Ryan Holiday – This one ties with No. 9 above on the absolute best for me for 2019. I wrote about it twice this year (Oct. 22 & Oct. 28) and one thought I loved: “The answer is that while we may naturally possess stillness, accessing it is not easy. One must really listen to hear it speaking to us. And answering the call requires stamina and mastery.” To me, all of this is most worthy of my attention and incredibly critical at this point in our world. We need to be still and we need to think and listen well in order to serve well… be it at home, the workplace, the community, and yes, making key decisions in 2020 as it comes to new leadership for our country – and beyond. We need to urgently focus on removing distractions.

Praying for each of you to have an incredible finale to the decade and to have the focus to start strong on a new year this week ahead!

Simple thoughts Sunday: Have you ever been undercover with your faith?

First of all, my answer is sadly YES. I was challenged several years ago when someone asked me if the people I worked with would readily know about my faith. I really didn’t know what my closest colleagues at work may say, which is exactly the problem. It occurred to me I had largely kept that (huge) part of my life private outside of personal relationships.  

It could be that I came up out of college in the early 90s, and outside of the need to wear awful navy suits, pantyhose (ugh) and ridiculous pumps, I was mentored to not discuss anything such as faith in the workplace. (I also was told that I really should always vote republican if I cared about the country’s fiscal position. I wish I had known earlier that the best leaders & cultures wouldn’t set you up in this way.) All of this becomes more laughable over time, but it also leaves me, admittedly, a bit disgusted. I don’t dwell as a practice on these types of realities but I certainly hope today’s grads don’t have that experience. But I digress…

Back to the point of today’s message. 

Folks, other people are relying on us to be open about our faith. People need the light that can be brought – and many times flat out hope that we might bring – through this discussion. I am not a fan of flaunting my faith, but I do believe that in the right place (and or conversation) revealing where you find your peace, focus or perspective can be quite helpful. 

You know fairly quickly if someone is open to the idea. As a practical example, I often speak at a mentoring event each year leading a small group discussion about work life balance. In this encounter, I can’t tell you the number of young professionals that come up to me after and want to thank me for talking about my faith. My take-home thought on that experience is that people want to share their faith and blend it in but are afraid. I hope our cultures evolve over time to make this more acceptable. An important part of this to me is that all faiths are important. To me this is where we are best: When we are willing to learn and grow and ultimately open our minds and hearts to many points of view.

So, what would those that know you say about your faith no matter what that may be? Would they know they could come to you if they needed a bit of encouragement or inspiration today? I’m so thankful someone challenged me. I hope it inspires at least one of you! Have an incredible week. 

One more thought: My friends at Faith Always Wins have a terrific interfaith message that is inspiring and encouraging as we all move toward greater awareness. - check them out if you’d like! Their work is changing the world. 

3 reasons to celebrate at work

I love hosting a version of this team-building exercise at work. It is a great example of celebrating others.

You simply take a large flip chart pad and put everyone’s names on them, post across the room, and then others go around with fun colored markers and write down the positive they see in their fellow team members. It is nothing but positive and it accomplishes so much! Both the writer and the receiver feel GREAT in the end!

Today, I’m going to launch a three-day blog series on CELEBRATION. It’s about now in the year when we have gotten ourselves fully in to back to school, the push for year end goal achievement in the workplace or perhaps personally. That ramp up period often means we may forget to stop and recognize we need to simply celebrate small and large moments with our tribes. Today, we focus on your teams. That may be at work, or heck, that may be your classroom, retirement community – whatever!

Let’s dive in…

Here are three really good reasons you should plan a celebration today…

CELEBRATIONS… 

  1. CREATE MOMENTUM! One of my favorite life experiences so far was attending the speed skating event at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver. It was a scene of ongoing celebration. What I learned was that for the Netherlands, speed skating is their national sport, much like baseball or football in America. I loved the sea of orange representing their national colors and the celebration that ensued at every play. The celebration and cheers created momentum and ultimately helped them no doubt to achieve a medal on that winter day! When taking time to celebrate others we are in essence “cheering” them on to their next victory. We all need more victories.
  2. YOUR CULTURE DEPENDS ON IT! The Ancient Greeks initiated the Olympics in great part to promote peace during wartime. It was a chance to pause and allow disparate agendas to come together. The culture of our nations are notably more positive during these international games! I think a terrific example of planned celebrations. A life truth, which is applicable from parenting to the environment we sit in each day is that “what we focus on expands.” If we place our attention on creating a culture where we celebrate each other we are focusing on something we all want to expand and be a part of:generating positive energy, and thus, a positive culture. 
  3. MAKES US ALL BETTER! “A rising tide rises all boats.” We have all heard this, and it’s one to always remember. This one is short, because of how obvious it is: we must be the ones that ‘raise’ the tide. Celebrations are one way to do this!

Have a strong wrap to your week. I’d love to hear how you have celebrated, both small and large! GO CHIEFS ?❤️?.

Don’t overthink this

Ah… overthinking…

I’d love to meet the person who claims to not have ever lost a night’s sleep overthinking. They will be one of my personal heroes!

Doing just a little bit of research, you can quickly reinforce the idea that overthinking is common and that it can lead us into a downward spiral that impacts our happiness. Overthinking is a common discussion point in school corridors, the workplace, and therapist sessions nationwide. (Think: “I couldn’t sleep last night, because…”)

Overthinking can be focused on the past or on thoughts that drift toward endless possible scenarios. These may include tomorrow’s big meeting, a fun date night out, an upcoming test, or even extending into processing the distant future…What will I be doing a year from now? Ten years? Other notable examples of overthinking in a not so productive way include reliving mistakes, rehashing conversations in your mind, or allowing your mind to simply worry about the endless what ifs.

The positive side of this conversation is that we can take the mind to a place of creative problem solving, or learning from our past experiences, and see incredible personal growth. That seems like a fantastic idea. U.S. News & World Report produced a short little read in 2018 that addressed strategies to get our minds to a more productive place. In summary:

  1. Catch yourself. (You can’t stop if you aren’t aware.) Learn to recognize the physical symptoms you might experience, when you’ve been replaying that stressful conversation in your mind for several minutes. If you can identify that pit in your stomach (or whatever it is) you can begin to shift your brain back.
  2. Call out your thoughts. The author’s example: “For instance, turn ‘I’m a bad parent,’ into ‘I notice I’m thinking I’m a bad parent.'” Step back and observe the thought process versus thinking it’s factual. Think through a truth that proves that observation wrong if you have time… that will immediately shift your mind’s narrative.
  3. Set a deadline. If you must, allow yourself to ruminate for a period of time and stick to the boundary. “I will give myself 15 minutes to think through that tough conversation, and then I will focus on solutions and a move-forward plan.”
  4. Shock your senses. “Thinking is a mental activity, so the best thing to do is start doing something… anything that uses the senses can work, smell lavender oil, or do pushups…”
  5. Give up perfectionism. Enough said.

Here’s to a great wrap to this week and to a September that takes us to the next level in our personal growth.

The radical, strategic mind

Happy almost weekend! As we wrap up the week, I’m mindful that with school back in session, those of us in the workplace are also gearing up for a strong end-of-the-year play.

To me, this season is sort of like January where we rise to the occasion and develop tactical strategies on how to achieve our professional goals. Come to think of it, we do this for our lives in general as well. It’s the ideal time to assess our wins so far for the year, and those areas where we haven’t hit the stride mark yet. The great news for all of us of course is we have more than a quarter of the year left — that’s plenty of time to regain perspective, strength and eventually hit the ball out of the park so to speak.

So what is a radical, strategic mind to you? For me, it’s getting out of the norm in thinking and allowing ourselves to be truly creative… to paint outside the lines. It is a fundamental difference in how we view whatever challenge is in front of us. Radical minds are those that are the voices of social and political change advocates, and those that often make the greatest impact.

The end of summer is a great time to fire up the mind. In theory, we had time to rest a bit and soak up some sunshine, and our minds and bodies should be prepared for a higher level of energy. My personal game plan is to identify a few key areas — for me, likely career and relationships — to focus on for the year-end wrap up.

Asking the right questions is critical right now:

  • How can I maximize my time to ensure I achieve my goals?
  • What areas can I “cut” or reduce so I can make more time for what is important?
  • What are the “must haves” that I have?
  • Who are the people I need to connect with?
  • What projects must get off of the ground? Are there some that I can move to next year? Why do they matter? Who can help me achieve these? 
  • What is a different approach that may be better?

Those are some of mine. How about you?

Have a wonderful weekend!

Rewind! This is a throwback post!

And the greatest of these is indeed love! Congrats, Sam and Katie!

As if i wasn’t blessed enough by my boys – three amazing young men – my oldest (by 2 minutes, but whose counting… other than Tucker and Joe), Sam, proposed to the beautiful Katie Knapp on Tuesday.

Sam and Katie are the very definition of this verse (1 Cor 13:13). I know from experience that young love is powerful. I can only wish I was as smart as these two in their commitment to following God’s plan for their lives at such a young age. They are a role model for how to invest your energy into where God wants you to be this season. As best as they can, they are both striving to surround themselves with things that will help them make great decisions, including how to love and serve well with God at the very center. Watching them shine together gives me such hope.

So, for today’s “Simple Thoughts Sunday,” it is really quite simple: Love, my friends, is the greatest of all things, and I believe that like no other.

Love is the very fuel of this universe. If we can get love right, we can do things we could never imagine. Love is what brings peace and joy. Love creates a culture of what is good and right. It builds our communities, homes and even our workplaces. Love brings out our best selves. It showcases the good in the world and ensures that we not only nurture safe places, but create thriving environments all around us.

Love is everything. Let’s bring on the love this week! Let’s launch into the second half of 2019 with a commitment to have love shine above anything else! Who’s with me?

Here is a perfect pic to wrap up this post. My handsome young man and his bride-to-be! Katie, if you read this, I’m so grateful. I know that this tribe of mine is praying that your year ahead of wedding preparations is all that your heart desires!

Love is the greatest.

Why you need a security detail

I hope this hits some of you like it did me. I have a security detail, and I hope you do as well! It may be that you need to rethink who is in yours, and perhaps even add one or more key folks to the team.

You may be thinking, “What is a security detail?” My son even asked about it when he saw me working on this post. According to Wikipedia, a security detail is a “Personal Protection Detail (PPD); a protective team assigned to protect the personal security of someone.” So, who is protecting you? People who “have our back,” and push us and make us better. People who we primarily choose, though often God blesses us with family members who are incredible at ensuring we are covered, protected, confronted, redirected, and gently pushed toward a positive direction. My sister has always had my back full on and what a gift that has been.

So, what are some of the critical areas where this is essential to a successful life? Here are some thoughts…

Your personal physical and mental health… Everything from exercise and fitness to those girl’s nights out that fill your spirit.

Your financial wellness and ability to find freedom in that area… A trusted advisor who comes alongside you and offers clarity around some often complex and private decisions.

Your career and in the workplace… This one is huge. I’ve blogged before about the need to have a champion – a few, if possible – that you know without a doubt will lift you toward great success.

Your spiritual life and your ability to navigate the complexities of life in general… Who do you know that is locked in to their faith and can help you build yours?

If I think through “who has my back,” I can come up with a short list that I know without a doubt want to see me succeed in many areas. I have, however, gone seasons without that “someone” in some of these areas. This is a call to action if you find yourself in that same boat, so to speak.

It takes intention to seek out this type of help. I personally like to have people that are ahead of me in life, or who have experience in an area at a much higher level than I have. These people offer me the opportunity to level up, and they can hold me accountable because of their experience having already walked this path.

Have a crazy-good week. Make it that way.

Add to your tribe if needed, and know that no matter what, most people are good, and the universe wants you to succeed in all that you dream and desire to accomplish!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Bring your energy this week.

ENERGY! We need it, we desire it, and it makes us all better.

The trainer I love via Peloton, Robin Arzon (@robinnyc on Instagram) has a 2019 goal which I think is worth sharing:

“If it’s doesn’t raise my spirit, I’m unavailable.”

(She also adds if it doesn’t raise her bank account – ha!) She is spot on! Positive energy is what brings a positive spirit into our lives. This happens on every single path we take…

In the workplace? Yep for sure! Have you ever walked in and felt a dull sense of enthusiasm (AKA none)? It feels like everyone dredged in and doesn’t want to be present. That is so sad.

Alternatively, I hope you have walked in and felt that vibration… the power of energy… high enthusiasm… passion for great teamwork and work itself… a noticeable environment of purpose. It makes a big difference, doesn’t it?

What makes this happen? What makes it happen is YOU.

Creating culture and a positive experience is everyone’s role. It is walking in with encouraging words, smiles, hugs (when appropriate), and a constant focus on bringing up the level of energy and therefore success! I have seen everyone from new employees to leaders bring this spark.

This is true in the home, in classrooms, in the corridors of our community… everywhere.

Let’s bring the energy this week. Let’s shine that light that ignites a fire of awesome all around us!

What does it look like to stand together?

This is a truly wonderful season, full of hope and excitement as graduates of all ages cross the stage. Graduation represents an accomplishment worth celebrating, but I believe the best part is that they offer the opportunity to take us to the next level of our adventure. New seasons require higher levels of support, so the thought of “standing” together is where my mind is today.

Taking a stand with or for someone is one of the highest levels of service we can provide to those we love.

So, what does that look like exactly? I thought some examples may be helpful to get your creative juices rolling (Of course I know everyone would love to hear some of yours so please add them below!):

Taking a stand for or with could be…

Advocating for someone you work with – Sending an email to their leader to let them know what a difference they make in your day to day endeavors is something I believe is simple, yet supremely significant.

Ensuring support is there for a young man or woman to achieve their personal dreams – What if we all asked the next new high school or college graduate we met what we could do to help them at this stage in their life? Life is absolutely packed with chances to reach out and help someone by introducing them to the right person, or even a book that may change their life.

Taking action on a unified issue – Who in your circle is fighting the good fight over something that’s important to them and that you agree with Perhaps it’s a social justice issue, or perhaps it’s as simple as someone trying to push forward a plan to improve wellness in the workplace. Whatever it is, don’t be afraid to jump in and lend a hand, your voice and energy.

We all thrive when we stand together. I hope that you take a small – or a large – stand this week… I know that when we do that, we will also RISE TOGETHER. Cheering you all on.

Live in the arena

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again … who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”

Theodore Roosevelt

Want to level up your personal growth? Find a bit over an hour, log into Netflix and be prepared to actively take notes. You will laugh, you will nod in understanding and you will be changed. In her Netflix special, Dr. Brene Brown, says something to the tune of “there is my life before this quote (above) and my life after.” I could say the same thing about this show. Incredible.

She talks about “engineering smallness” in her life because of her fear to step into her own power and play big. (Frankly, that’s its own headline!)

She shares incredible data that proves that if we are to achieve anything – from career success to love – we will indeed fall, get our asses kicked, and experience heartbreak. (Ouch!)

She talks about being hard-wired for belonging, and our need to speak our truth and not betray ourselves for other people.

She educates about the need for us to be vulnerable…even in the workplace. Especially if we are to develop inclusivity, equity and diversity and have uncomfortable conversations that ultimately have the power to bring us to unity. (Folks… we need to be vulnerable… this is critical for our generation.)

That, my friends, encompasses only about 5 percent of the content. I truly hope that you will make it a priority to step into this great message. And if you’ve already caught her Netflix special, I’d love to hear about your takeaways!

The “arena” can for sure be intimidating – scary even. The “arena” is also that place where we grow, thrive and shine like no other place. You all are champions my friends! Cheering you on always.