To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Serve Well

Simple Thoughts Sunday: You are a badass

(Throwback! I’m throwing it back to a post from 2017 that just felt right for this weekend!)

When I made this connection, I had to share it with you.

Let’s face it, life can be tough. I was greatly encouraged to have someone point out to me the biblical reminder that I am indeed a badass –– and so are you!

As you start this week, remember, that you can get up and stand up. God created us to be courageous and brave and He gave us the tools to confront our lives with greatness! (Peace, Grace, Love – the list goes on.)

A short thought for the day, but super powerful! Have an amazing week!

“Use your words”

Throwing it back to a post from April that feels really relevant right now. Cheering you on, friends!

In a moment of frustration a few months back, a friend shared with me this basic truth: “use your words.”

This simple phrase stuck with me. The idea resonated and seemed to be applicable for many areas of life. Imagine if we all could use this thought with the end goal of developing healthy relationships? How might the world improve if we encouraged loving and candid conversations? Why had I not honed in on this phrase before? (It sure may have been useful when the boys were younger.)

Here’s the question I ask to frame this up for myself: What is the most loving thing to do or say in this situation? In every conversation, be it work, home, or some other relationships, using your words and sharing your heart is often the most loving/compassionate thing you can do. If you don’t, you run the risk of not fostering healthy relationships and likely even causing that uncomfortable tension that happens when we don’t fully share what is stirring in our soul.

Here are a few possible scenarios:

  • Claiming ground rules and boundaries. (Yeah, we still need to clean up after we cook in the kitchen.)
  • Sharing that you are really scared, that you don’t know how you are going to come out of this financially, physically, mentally or emotionally.
  • Telling a co-worker that you need them to communicate better for the greater good of the team even though you know they are feeling stressed.

I’m sure you can come up with several other useful scenarios. I locked in on this topic early in the week. I had never heard anyone else share this truth of “using your words.” I have however always found that the universe has a way of validating if we are on the right track. Just yesterday, one of my favorite blog follows, theartofsimple.net, shared a few poems and one was titled “Use your words.” I love it.

I hope that this insight offers some encouragement and useful thoughts as you embark on another week. Let’s all choose to use our words and LOVE WELL!

Celebrating the little things

I want to throw it back a little bit to an old post, but with a new spin for you. Back in August 2017, I talked about how important it is to celebrate the little things. In fact, I said so in the context of the eclipse!

But three years later, this concept feels even more relevant, as we all are looking for little silver linings amid what sometimes feels like chaos. I personally need to do a better job of celebrating small moments.

I actually used to always have a bottle of pink champagne in my refrigerator to have on hand to celebrate the little things in the lives of our family, neighbors and colleagues. My friend and blog helper, Ashley, tells me that she has a system to celebrate the small wins: She buys champagne, and tapes a piece of paper with a goal onto it. When she hits the goal, she pops the bottle. How cool?

How else can we make celebrating easy and top of mind? What do you do? Share them with the rest of us so we can adapt and adopt!

Celebrating is a gift we have on hand every day and week if we choose to use it! Seeking out the good in life is a key to happiness and to a life of serving others and yourself well.

The pursuit of happiness: The power of multiplication and our daily habits

Most of us know the drill. One push-up leads to two, and so, on as we build our strength.

I just finished a fantastic book, ‘The Slight Edge,’ which helped me understand why we don’t always choose to take the small steps necessary to achieve the life we desire. The bottom line is that it is easy to make the decision to do the one push-up (or make that tough call, or choose greens over fries, or take a walk versus watching that next episode, and so on) and it is also easy to NOT do it!

In fact, a shocking 95 percent of Americans choose the easy route – the path of least resistance. The path that doesn’t leave us with the money in the bank we hoped for, or the healthy energy we long for, or the depth of relationships we need to thrive. Ninety-five percent! (This book is a few years old so maybe we have gotten better!)

One of my favorite chapters focused on happiness, and what can we do to pursue happiness. Here are a few of the thoughts he shared:

  1. Train your brain toward the positive, small moments of joy. Create a habit of writing three of these down daily. Be vigilant and watch yourself change toward being and thinking more positively!
  2. Become focused on the details of what made those experiences positive. Write down (is as much detail possible) the positive experience-one every 24 hours. “I walked by a house that had the most beautiful flowers… it’s as if the owner meticulously guarded them day in and day out to ensure we could walk by and be refreshed by something beautiful.”
  3. Yep, this is super easy and I’m sure you expect it: Integrate a small act of kindness into each day. My fav is writing an email to someone’s boss or leader to raise the frequency of positivity throughout every path you are on. Your kind drive-thru worker or barista would so love that positive nod.

So much truth to the simple. Here’s to a week of pursuing happiness. Let’s be dealers of happy. Let’s raise our energy in this area and watch what happens. Personal growth will abound… I’m confident of that at minimum!

Amplify the yes, and shake off what doesn’t build you up

Amplify (verb): To make larger, greater or stronger.

Who else could amplify some things in their life right now?

Expand my wisdom? Yes please!
Develop stronger patience? Why yes, I think I will!
Increase my energy? Heck yes! I would love that!

We can all use this message, and can benefit from a reminder to amplify the good. We also need to remember the power of manifesting positivity. I believe we have all been given the strength and gifts we need, be it through our own work and determination, or from the people who have been placed in our paths.

When talking to a friend once, I shared how I imagined a serious conversation I needed to have would play out. I thought, at the time, that I was being realistic. She quickly reminded me not to put that negativity out into the universe. Instead, I should expect it would go well.

I have to say, I still think I’m more than likely right –– but so is she! I need to amplify the potential positive here. Easier said than done, right?

This summer, more than any other time before, I think we could all benefit from putting this at the forefront of our minds. We need to shake off –– a la Taylor Swift –– anything that doesn’t build us up. Who or what builds you up? Makes you have a spring in your step? Brings you energy? Makes you the best version of yourself?

On the flip side, who or what brings you down? How can you reduce that influence? What boundaries do you need to put in place to protect yourself? All important questions.

I hope as we head into this next month that you bring on the power of your best self and do everything you can to reduce the friction of what doesn’t. In fact, I’m praying for that as I write this. Have a tremendous rest of your week and happy Fourth of July!

(Rewind! This is a modified throwback post.)

Thoughts toward action: The next 30 days… and then the next 30 days

I’m sure we have all had one or multiple conversations this week around our nation’s racial equality issues. The problems run deep and require a higher level of understanding than what you get if you’re just scrolling through headlines. I personally have spent a few years working on building my own understanding of the inequalities that exist in our world, and yet I would still put myself at a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10 when it comes to having true understanding. I have a lot of work to do, and I’m guessing this week taught you that you do, too.

When we hear phrases like “we need systemic change,” it’s easy to lose momentum because of how daunting that sounds. Systemic changes come with actions like voting. Tragically, there are some who feel like their vote hasn’t been heard in the past, which can really take a toll on hope for real, sustainable change.

America needs a leader –– many leaders. We need folks who can galvanize us around a mission: A mission to tackle these issues head-on, including the education system and the criminal justice system.

I titled this “The next 30 days” because I am hearing folks say they want to start somewhere meaningful. The majority of people genuinely want to take action and want to move our country forward, as the peaceful protests show.

There is work we all can and should do. Know that it’s not easy, but it’s important. We all have a part to play in creating change. It should be clear that this has taken many years to reach this level and it will be a marathon, strong and steady, to move forward. Check out this post on Medium for a list of 75 ways you can contribute your time, energy and resources. I’ve poured through it, and it taught me a few things. I know it can feel overwhelming and hard to know what to really do next. My prayer is for God to direct me toward clarity of impact. Thus, the idea on starting in 30 day increments…

My thought process is to break it down into some areas where I – and most others – could use grounded information with the goal of building foundational understanding. Here we go…

  • Listen to understand. Reach out to the people in your life who are from other backgrounds. Ask them how they’re doing. Ask them to tell you their story of living in this world. Listen intently. My goal is to have three truly strong, meaningful conversations during the next 30 days.
  • Read to understand. Take the time to read up on structural racism to better understand the gravity and depth of the reality we find ourselves living in. (Developing a common understanding is central to getting to the root of the problem. Check this site out for videos and other resources, as a starting point. And if you haven’t already seen it, check out this IGTV post from Viola Davis!)
  • Research local. Look for examples of systematic issues in your state or area. Education is a terrific place to start and was recommended by a friend and after a close review, I would say education reform is mission critical. I will use Kansas as an example. On this site, you can compare the many variances between districts. When you see gaps in performance, consider the lost opportunity children have across the state. This alone should demonstrate that this is a primary issue that we all need to consider critical to achieving equality. (If diving through data isn’t your thing, watch the documentary “Waiting for Superman,” for terrific content on the topic.)

I hope this helps you on our collective journey to serve well. If we keep perspective, keep praying, be kind always, and keep moving with unbridled determination and strength, we will create change. We have to believe that and lock arms tightly.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Hold the tension until something beautiful comes forward

… As in the miracle of childbirth itself.
…As in that first real fight and talking through it until you both grow (my friend calls it building relationship muscle – I like that!).
…As in diligently digging yourself out of a tough financial situation.

All of these examples, while valid, don’t speak to the true tension most of us are feeling on this day. The voice of America is loud right now and God help us that it produces a path forward – a change in direction… a call for us all to not stop short of pursuing justice and equality until it is achieved.

This tension, and the beauty that could come forward after, is like deeply inhaling the mountain air. There is joy and peace in those places after much work has been done.

With so much heavy news over the last few months, and especially these last few weeks, I’m even more committed to this idea that we have to keep holding on… pushing thru. Beauty can come. I believe that.

Brené Brown’s wonderful “Unlocking Us” podcast episode with actors Jay and Mark Duplass on the Power of Paradox was deep and captivating.  The conversation –– not at all intended to take on the weight of the tensions we are facing in America in this moment –– offered the listener an opportunity to ignite thinking around tension, and how we might deal with it: pushing ourselves through the pain, committing to one another, staying unrelenting and strong.

Scripture shares the following:

“To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He might be glorified.”

Isaiah 61:3 KJV

I’m not typically a King James advocate (preferring instead something I can relate to more easily), however this is genuinely spot on from my perspective.

The foundation on which we stand started with struggle, and God’s word offers us comfort in knowing that we can expect beauty from ashes. It would be too hard to believe, had I not have had personal exposure to the stunning reality. I have witnessed all manner of struggle… emotional and physical abuse, poverty, illness among those who were far too young, and even hate crimes and murder. I have seen God’s redemption in my story and in those of some dear loved ones at every turn.

I have also seen many stories, like those we face in America right now, resulting in tragedies that prove we are far from achieving equality to all. Stories that should bring tension to and haunt all of us. Stories that should ignite us to push harder, to act in some way…

I want to hold the tension along with my friends that represent every minority group, and to do so until we find something beautiful together. I believe we will find more tension first, but as a Christian believer, I hold strong on that if we stay tuned in, pray for direction and act with love that we can press forward together. We can heal and find beauty. I feel that. I also feel this will require a fight … a fight forward and toward unity.

On Wednesday’s blog my goal will be to provide a short list of actions (We must ACT versus just say/post/share.) that all audiences and ages can participate in. For today, check out the website www.bethebridge.com. It seems to be a great starting point.

If you happen to have an idea please reach out to me. Thank you!

What are your daily rituals of excellence?

If you want to lead an epic life – a life of purpose – we know that you need to incorporate steadfast daily rituals that help you achieve your best self. You could argue that a routine is more important now more than ever, as our “normal” is turned upside down. Today felt like the right time to adapt this particularly-relevant post from a few years ago!

I am a sucker for any book, article or speaker that offers me ideas of what may be worth adding to my routine. So today, I am sharing 13 of my daily rituals. That’s my lucky number so it had to be 13. Hopefully some of these resonate for you!

  1. Get moving. My grandmother used to always say, “You have to get up, even if you don’t feel like it.” So get moving!
  2. Incorporate greens into every meal, if possible. Yep, I am even throwing a few with some lemon vinaigrette next to my morning meal.
  3. Drink lots of water! I carry my water bottle everywhere!
  4. Use dishes you love. I had a local potter (Erica Iman of Urban Potters) make my plates, bowls and mugs for the house. I got the idea from a hotel I was visiting for business. They served up a simple dish in a super cool bowl and I loved it. I realized that something as boring a salad or bowl of soup can be special if you know it was made by hand by someone who loves their craft. That is a gift to me.
  5. Spend time in nature. A walk with my dog is my personal favorite, but any time outdoors is the goal. Some days it may even just be rolling the windows down in the car and enjoying the breeze.
  6. Start the day by reading from the Bible. I have done this for many, many years now and I am still learning and growing.
  7. Learn. I incorporate learning into my life anytime I can. If I’m not reading, it could be a podcast while I’m driving or walking. I can’t get enough.
  8. Send an encouraging message to a friend or colleague.
  9. Try to catch the sunset and snap a picture if possible!
  10. Read and relax. I almost always end my day with a bath and take time to read. This time to unwind and get out of my head is just what the doctor ordered to sleep well!
  11. Listen to music. I need to learn to listen to it more, because I love it. There is nothing like throwing on some Kenny Chesney, Fleetwood Mac, Boston, Hillsong, Elevation Music, Lionel Richie, Alicia Keys, John Mayer, etc. It can shift your energy on the spot.
  12. Positive social media talk! I am very intentional about keeping my social media feeds positive. I unfollow those who aren’t consistently positive and thoughtful.
  13. Pray. I believe all prayer forms are great, but I personally want to work to go deeper and truly connect through prayer.

Your turn! I’d love to hear some of yours, so please, drop a few in the comments!

Vibe check: So, how’s it really going?

We have somehow almost pushed our way through May. Virtual and adapted graduations have largely come and gone, school is wrapping up, and Memorial Day on Monday will be our official nod to the summer days ahead. Most of us have adjusted to our routines (Groundhog Day, anyone?) and, like it or not, are realizing that the parts of the reality we lived in a few months ago are now but a memory.

We forge on. Humans are resilient like that.

I love my Peloton bike and find the instructors to be inspiring and generally on point with messages that work for any rider, no matter where they may live. My latest, favorite motivational coach is Alex Toussaint. He has a motto: Vibe check! As in, how are we all doing?

With so many people working from home and having their lives disrupted in many ways, we may have moved too quickly to believing everyone has adapted and is doing okay. They may be doing “okay,” but are they thriving?

We all know that being off-center is normal in smaller doses, and that we generally bounce back. We need to remember that living in this feeling for longer periods of time can (and likely will) take a toll.

It feels to me like it’s time to check in on our vibe, as Alex would say. It’s time to check in on how we ourselves, honestly, are doing, as well as the ones we love.What can we do to help shift out of any place that’s not healthy and help lift each other up? What can we do to keep wellness top of mind? There are so many great resources out there. One of my favorites is from Dr. Michelle Robin, whose resources are life-changing. One of my favorite thoughts she shared just this week was in the context of “what are we dreaming of today,” authored by Carol Lakin.

D – Draft on those that believe in you
R – Relationship: be mindful of who is in your life
E – Enrich: always remember who lifted you up
A – Authentic: Do your work to make generational change (I love this. We can all use this time to give this thought. Moving toward fulfilling a purpose is always an ignitor for the soul.)
M – Meaning or Magic: thank you for giving me a magical life with meaning (I think this is a great time to share this message with someone who has had an impact on my life…)

I would love to hear your thoughts on wellness & how we can keep the vibe going strong. Cheers to warmer days and spreading lots of love where ever and whenever we can.