To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Serve Well

My top books of 2019 – so far

Happy Tuesday! Today’s a good day to share what I’ve learned so far this year through my readings. They have all been good, with Notorious RBG, The Art of Gathering & Joyful being my favs.

I picked one take away from each of them and shared it below. If you decide to grab one let me know what you think (or if you’ve read them already)! Have an amazing week!

The Messy Middle, by Scott Belsky – This is a leadership read that is pretty heavy in content (it took me a while to get through it and truly digest the information). One of my favorite insights was on “organizational debt,” which is “the idea of ‘bounty program’ … in this system, any employee who encounters a policy or process that is hindering their ability to deliver value to the customer can submit the policy/process and a recommendation to the program website. The idea is to incentivize everyone to bash inefficiencies and dumb practices that contribute to organizational debt.”

The Art of Gathering, by Priya Parker – So much amazing work in this book. I’d grab this one for sure if you like to read. One simple idea here: “If you want a lively but inclusive conversation as a core part of your gathering, eight to twelve people is the number you should consider. Smaller than eight, the group can lack diversity in perspective; larger than twelve, it begins to be difficult to give everyone a chance to speak.”

Girl, Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis – This book is just so fun. It’s a simple read/self help type of book with some profound thoughts. One particular idea that I liked: “1.) I went to therapy. 2.) I hustled for joy. (love, love, love this) 3.) I reordered my list.”

Woke Church, by Eric Mason – I read this alongside a beautiful young professional I sometimes get a chance to mentor. It’s a call to justice and about understanding how socioeconomic, philosophical and historical realities inform our responsibility. An abbreviated excerpt from the back of this book says it best: “The church in America should have rejected the first whispers of slavery. But we didn’t. We should have stopped segregation and Jim Crow before they affected communities. But we didn’t. We should have been woke, but we’ve been asleep.”

Joyful, by Ingrid Fetell Lee – A really interesting and fun read that covers the full gamut of joy. One idea I appreciated: “I began to notice that while the topic of work-life balance comes up frequently in media, play is largely absent from the conversation… The most joyful people I know manage to hold space for play in their adult lives (think playing a sport, family game night, etc.).

The 10X Rule, by Grant Cardone – A classic book that has been around for a bit. So many key parts to this, but the one I hadn’t heard and resonated the most: “You must keep adding wood until the fire is so hot that no one – and nothing – can put out your success.” This was a call to action around all areas of your life! Keep adding wood my friends to what’s important to you!

Notorious RBG, by Irin Carmon and Shana Knizhnik – Honestly you should read this no matter what your political interests or otherwise area. This absolutely fun read about the life of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Gisburg is terrific in at least 100 different ways. I love all of it, but this quote in the beginning received a few stars: While reading her dissent in a voting rights case, she quotes Martin Luther King directly, “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice,” she said, but then she added her own words: “If there is a steadfast commitment to see the task through to completion.” Now that is true and powerful.

The 5AM Club, by Robin Sharma – I have followed Sharma for many years and his latest is a great reminder of the power of taking over our days by starting out right. His section on the 4 focuses of history-makers is solid: 1) Capitalization IQ (“What makes a legendary performer so good isn’t the amount of natural talent they are born into, but the extent of that potential they actualize and capitalize.”) 2) Freedom from Distraction 3) Day Stacking 4) Personal Mastery practice.

Farsighted, by Steven Johnson – The book is all about how we make decisions and how to make better ones. His compelling first comments, “Countless studies have shown, humans are wired to resist losses more than to seek gains,” set you off on a deeper understanding of how our habits and even wiring may not help us make the best decisions and how we should consider understanding at a deeper level how to make better choices.

Chasing Daylight, by Eugene O’Kelly – I have blogged previously about this excellent, short read. Mr. Kelly wrote this book over his last few months after an unexpected illness took over his body at 53 years old. It’s a powerful reminder to to live intentionally. “To get the most out of each moment and day-and not just pass through it.”

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Even in the rain…

On my drive into the neighborhood I often stop and take a photo of the lake. It occurred to me that I do this when it’s beautiful outside and the late-day sun is reflecting off of the water. It often provides some sort of deep relief as I take in the beauty. (I’m a rock solid Pisces who loves the water – from stomping in puddles to my fav, Table Rock Lake… it’s heaven on earth to me.)

As I drove in tonight, the rain drops on my driver side window captured me. Against the dark backdrop of the early spring rain falling – coupled with way-too-cold temperatures (if you ask me) – I immediately thought how beautiful life can be during all seasons. Here’s what I know…

EVEN if rain falls, we innately know that the rain brings forth the glory of spring and hope for warm days ahead.

EVEN if our days are hard, and at times overwhelming, God has provided a team of people around us that not only love and support us, but want to cheer us on and relish in that as their purpose.

EVEN if we don’t understand where God has us or our loved ones, we can know for sure that when the clouds clear out (and if we quiet our souls enough to really listen and observe…) that we are exactly where we were or are supposed to be.

I need to be more present in the rain and in the days of wondering. We all rise together, so I hope today we can commit to remembering that EVEN when we find ourselves in gentle rain, shoulders down, ducking the weather, or in a downright powerhouse rain storm, that we look up and find the beauty. It is definitely there… That’s God’s promise to us all.

Let’s give care to our true priorities this weekend

Always such a strong topic to keep top of mind. How are you doing, now that we are closing in on the end of the first quarter for the year? From where you started the year, has your schedule aligned with your goals, dreams and desires? Have you spent enough time where you want?

I personally have been heavy with career and not enough on financial health (I’m in the group that hasn’t filed taxes yet); and moderately successful with physical health and relationships thanks to some pre-scheduled events so to speak. (If not for those, it wouldn’t look good at all.) I share that for the purpose of being vulnerable and yet exposing that no matter how much you “want” to do the right thing and be balanced, you can easily fall off of your game plan. Life tends to dictate itself if we don’t edit and actively and mindfully move it where we want.

So, you may be thinking: what’s up with the “deep priority” comment? What makes it deep versus just a priority? This, to me, is the “next” level. Saying I want to grow and nurture relationships is one thing, but what do I really want or need? For example, I haven’t spent any time this year with my dad. That’s not good, and that’s important.

Also deep: Being more specific is critical. Using the example of physical health and wellness, saying that I want to be successful in this category alone frankly won’t move the needle. What might move the needle is a deeper and specific goal, perhaps increased time doing cardio, lifting weights, etc., signing up for a “race” or some event that drives me toward success? Thinking out loud, here.

As we think through the last three months, it may be timely to take a long look at our priorities and develop an action plan that aligns.

Cheering everyone on and especially my NCAA bracket! Sun, please come out to stay!

The Culture Connection: Why travel is a priority

Rewind! This is a throwback post – an oldie but a goodie – as I am traveling this week. Enjoy!

I have made travel a life priority.

Along the way, I learned that whatever your budget — and whatever your goals with travel — it can be done with a bit of research and flexibility. There are so many stories out there of poor college students backpacking across Europe, and travel blogs that showcase journeys around our vast world. This is encouragement to many, as travel can seem to be a goal achievable only after retirement, if at all. In my viewpoint, even a trip to the lake can be a much-needed cultural shift from our day-to-day lives.

As it pertains to my writing on this blog, I truly feel that in order to serve well (for me) that travel is essential to creating a greater understanding of the people we share this planet with.

Here’s why: Being immersed in different cultures allows us to stretch and grow beyond our normal experience.

I have learned that whether it be a trip to New York City, Chicago, San Diego, or abroad to say, Australia (or my current journey in Barcelona), the customs from the time they eat meals to the way they approach their day opens me to new, potentially life-changing perspectives.

For example, in bigger cities, you seldom see anyone overweight. This is likely due to their active lifestyles to some extent, with a dependence on walking as a major means of transportation. It forces me to consider how to incorporate more of that lifestyle into my own.

In most countries I have visited outside of the U.S., the pace of life seems to be less frenetic and more reasonable. Even the average vacation time they are offered by employers is almost triple what we find here in America. It ties to a focus on overall wellness, it seems. I believe our country has a lot to learn in this area. (Side note: I have not been to the Asian countries, which I understand are more hurried in their approach, and perhaps it is due to the size of the population.)

One of my favorite authors (Batterson) is known for saying “a change of place, offers a change of perspective.” That is so very true. Somehow, when you are able to remove yourself from your routine, your mind “shifts” to a neutral zone that allows you to more easily embrace the beauty that surrounds us, even in the seemingly simple matters. I believe that notion leads us to achieve creativity and engage in life with a more health focused approach.

I try to keep these short, so will stop here. As the North Face slogan goes, I hope that you will “Never stop exploring,” and I hope this has inspired you to travel, local or abroad — just get out there!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: A game-changing strategy

Wow – do I ever need to remember this. Honestly, I always have, but sometimes I really need it – like when all of the “stuff” that has been in the news this week strikes.

The scripture, found in James 1, actually has a bit more to say: “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry.” I’m not much of the “angry” type, but the rest of that would be a solid idea for a tattoo (insert lol). This is truly profound guidance, whether it’s in a relationship or in the workplace, or simply “cocktail party” conversation.

So, how about you? Anyone else find this timely? One thing that I’m learning is the importance of not only being slow to respond, but in asking really thoughtful questions. Asking the right questions, with the intent to learn and understand can be just the game changer you need to elevate a conversation. With a life goal of “serving well” and truly coming alongside one another to make each better, this is a must-have strategy.

Praying for you all as you enter our first full week of March. Let’s go!

Catering to our success

I was on a panel a few years ago when I was stopped in my tracks by a quote from a fellow businesswoman. She said her most important life lesson was to stay focused on the concept that she wants others to “cater to my success, not my ego.”

It was a game changer for the way I thought about, well, everything.

During my 20s and even my 30s, I truly wanted the kind of feedback that told me I was doing great. The slightest criticism left me up at night, twisting and turning on how, why and what I could do to improve. In my 40s and even now, I crave solid, constructive feedback, even the kind that might not feel good. If I give a speech, for example, I love it when someone gives me an “‘atta girl,” but I love it even more when someone takes the time to point out where I could have expanded, improved, etc. In my personal life, I think it’s still a challenge sometimes to receive feedback you don’t really want to hear.

We of course should want that for ourselves, but it can be a bit uncomfortable to be in the middle of the “ring” so to speak. It is important that feedback is both honest and fair, and delivered with honor. We need to remember that although Brene Brown (Dare to Lead, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness) is on point with her, “Clear is Kind,” that it’s only kind if we do so with respect and a true intent to build value to the person. On that point then, feedback is, at its root form, a trust exercise. It’s best delivered within that context and in a trusted relationship. Maya Angelou’s famous quote seems to play well here:

“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

I think we need to remember that when we are on the delivery side.

I could provide a multi-point process here that may help with some steps on how to receive or give feedback, but that is for another blog. Today, I think it is more powerful to simply offer up the concept that we really need to not only be okay with trusted friends and colleagues helping us level up, but that we should seek it out. We will no doubt serve ourselves and others better if we can!

The final review: The best of 2018 books (including my No. 1, and the entire list)

Let’s start with my No. 1 book. If you read no further, go out now and get the Excellence Dividend by Tom Peters. The book is easy to read, and conceptually will grab you from the opening chapter to the end… The sub categories of EXCELLENCE runs from the “next five minutes,” to “email excellence” and pure gold in between.

As for this rest of this, I truly have no idea how to condense this list to a best of the best. In my May 10 blog, I highlighted 5 books that are definitely must-reads. If you don’t have time to open the blog and read, they included…

  • The Little Big Things, Tom Peters
  • The Daniel Dilemma, Chris Hodges
  • The Power of Moments, Chip and Dan Heath
  • When, Daniel Pink
  • Principles, Ray Dalio

On May 14, I blogged about the Soft Edge by Rich Karlgaard, and its emphasis on the importance of dialing in on trust. And on August 8, I did a deep dive on The Blue Zones, by Dan Buettner, which helps us understand the characteristics of the environments and much more of the longest living people on earth. I think we need to add those two to the list for sure!

Since 13 is my lucky number, I’ll roll out 6 more here that I feel can be life changing for you. My full list of books from are included below, because there are so many amazing lessons to be found.

I’m Still Here, Black Dignity in a world made for Whiteness, Austin Channing Brown —This book is the one we ALL need to read. This book begins to help us understand our biases and, and “is a powerful account of how and why our actions so often fall short of our words.” You’ll be better for reading this one, and then acting on what you learn.

The Motivation Manifesto, Brendon Burchard — This came out in 2014, but somehow I believe I just found out about it… I’m certainly not sure how because the title alone fires me up. This book offers nine declarations to claim your personal power, stretching from reclaiming our agenda to amplifying love and slowing time. It’s pure gold.

The Business Romantic, Tim Leberecht — The words on the inside cover, “How can work be delightful – perhaps even magical?” had me at hello. Simple messages like, “Most great partnerships begin with the simple act of ‘breaking bread together,” and “I encourage you to prioritize joy over optimization” (by identifying and implementing small, enchanting changes…moments of surprise in the business day).

Imagine it Forward, Beth Comstock with Tahl Raz — I have this book marked up so much, I don’t know which direction to take you. The book is more or less a classic business book which pushes us to creativity through courage with a great deal of storytelling. The idea, “What’s needed are the skills of a social architect, someone who is committed to collaborating in a psychologically safe zone that allows for what I call agitated inquiry. Agitated inquiry is the practice of evolving an idea into action steps through heated exchanges and debate.” That captures the book well. If you are a business geek like me, you’ll love this one for sure.

Dare to Lead, Brene Brown — I loved this so much, I turned it into a leadership development program for our team. The subtitle, “Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts,” is the underlining focus. As a seasoned author, Brene raises the bar on her already stunning work. The book challenges us to think about how we “show up,” to truly dive into “the story I’m telling myself at any moment,” and to embrace that being clear is kind — always. So good. And even though lead is in the title, it is so much more than a leadership book… it’s a life book.

Becoming, Michelle Obama — I ended 2018 with this one on New Year’s Eve! It took me nearly the whole month to read, but it was worth it. I am so glad I took the time to dive deep into this one because I learned that I really had no idea who our former First Lady was, and the power of her story. Her ending focused on the idea of “becoming” and it’s a perfect way to end the year and today’s blog. “For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. It’s all a process, steps along a path. Becoming requires equal parts patience and rigor. Becoming is never giving up on the idea that there’s more growing to be done.”

Full List of 2018 books:

  1. One Day All Children, Kopp
  2. Boost your Brain Power, Harmon
  3. The Rhythm of Life, Kelly
  4. Enough, Bogle
  5. The Weight of Water, Shreve
  6. In Her Own Right, Griffith
  7. Crushing it, Vaynerchuk
  8. Serious Play, Schrage
  9. LOVEMARKS, Roberts
  10. The Experience Economy, Pine II & Gilmore
  11. The Genius of Birds, Ackerman
  12. Nudge, Thaler & Sunstein
  13. Sway, Brofman& Brofman
  14. The Pixar Touch, Price
  15. Powerful, McCord
  16. When, Pink
  17. The Leadership Gap, Daskal
  18. Prescription for the Future, Emanuel
  19. Strength in Stillness, Roth
  20. Power of Moments, Heath & Heath
  21. RePresent Jesus, Daniels
  22. The Excellence Dividend, Peters
  23. A Short Guide to a Happy Life, Quindsten
  24. Ayurveda- Beginner’s Guide, Weis-Bohlen
  25. The Soft Edge, Karlgaard
  26. I’m Still Here, Channing Brown
  27. The Business Romantic, Leberecht
  28. White Houses, Bloom
  29. The Blue Zones, Buettner
  30. The Motivation Manifesto, Burchard
  31. Life’s Golden Ticket, Burchard
  32. Tailor Made, Seeley
  33. Rebel Talent, Gino
  34. Hope in the Dark, Groeshel
  35. Do Something Beautiful, Moore
  36. Wisdom at Work, Conley
  37. Imagine it Forward, Comstock
  38. The Person you Mean to Be, Chugh
  39. Healing the Soul of a Woman, Meyer
  40. Whiskey in a Teacup, Witherspoon
  41. 5 Second Rule, Robbins
  42. It’s not Supposed to be this way, Terkeurst
  43. Dare to Lead, Brown
  44. Becoming, Obama
  45. Principles, Dalio
  46. Awaken devotional, Shirer
  47. Little Big Things, Peters
  48. Daniel Dilemma, Hodges
  49. Back to Balance, Fisher
  50. Mandela’s Way, Stengel-Richard
  51. Giving it All Away, Green & High
  52. Discerning the Voice of God, Shirer
  53. Building an A Team, Johnson
  54. The New Jim Crow, Alexander

Building energy, perspective and immunity

Rewind! This post is a very relevant throwback. 

Constant growth is what makes us who we were designed to be. Three thoughts for you today.

We must BUILD ENERGY: Be it physical energy or mental energy, we simply must be working on our health game. Even Instagram is a showcase of opinions, thrashing politics and personal agendas… (Aside: Please make it go back to a place for cool pictures and powerful messages!) Staying on top of this is a must have if you are to maintain a healthy mindset. Be thinking about BUILDING ENERGY!

We must BUILD PERSPECTIVE: Your perspective determines your ability to perceive opportunities, pursue optimism and to embrace chaos. Focusing on your perspective — what you know to be true — is a game changer. When problems arise, it’s our perspective that allows us to move to the other side and deal with it in a way that encourages and helps us and others grow. How is your perspective?

We must BUILD IMMUNITY: This one was a wild card, but it was top-of-mind so I had to include it. My point here is immunity against anything that has the ability to alter our days and our minds. Anything that can get us off track. As with sickness (those ugly winter colds going around), the world can get to us. People — even our families — may say something that can shift our mood in seconds. Build IMMUNITY against that.

At the end of the day, life is too short to get our feelings hurt easily and we can decide up front that we are not going to be distracted from joy.

Have the most amazing weekend.

Shifting our expectations can be a blessing in disguise

Rewind! This post is a throwback to December 2015.

Today I wanted to touch on the idea of shifting expectations. As we consider living out a life of excellence, we have some options. We have the power to make a simple shift in the way we see a situation in order to move forward in a positive direction.

I wanted to point something out here: Many people associate this concept with settling – big difference. Settling has a negative connotation and makes us feel like we lost somehow. Instead, consider that you’re making a healthy decision for yourself and everyone around you, and move forward! That is excellence.

My hope for this week (let’s take it one day at a time) is that you will shift along with me as our expectations overwhelm us. In this moment, choose to focus on joy. Not the rush, the hustle, nor the chaos, but on the beauty created in the moments that fill our lives.

Happy Thanksgiving! I am grateful for each of you!

The history of Thanksgiving reminds us that taking time to celebrate the “harvest” is an important part of our country’s history. The idea that for generations we have maintained  integrity around “gathering” and offering thanks is powerful and necessary.

The first Thanksgiving in Plymouth, MA (1621) was a time for neighbors and family to “gather around the table” with those that had provided the bounty through hard work. Today, the Thanksgiving holiday provides us the same opportunity to carve out time to “break bread,” share our stories and offer thanks.

No matter what you find yourself doing over this holiday, my prayer is that you will take the time to acknowledge those that have provided blessings to your life over the last year. I also hope that you will be able to take some time to breathe deeply and celebrate your own success (or survival, as may be the case) so far in 2018. This pause just might offer you what you need for the strongest finish to the year.

Cheers to all of you, your family, friends and loved ones. My goal every time I write is that it might impact at least one person.

It is an honor that you take the time to read these little insights and I am beyond grateful for the gift of your time.