To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Serve Well

A Summer Series: Re-centering on what’s important

One of life’s greatest pleasures for me is reading a book that makes me a better person. Sometimes it takes my mind on a journey that is new and different, but most often, it’s nonfiction for me that helps me more clearly understand both the simplicity and the complexity of our lives.

Shauna Niequist’s latest, “I guess I haven’t learned that yet,” delivers on all things making us better in pretty much every chapter. She, like many of us (okay…probably all of us) found her life disrupted in an unexpected chapter of their lives after moving from the Midwest to New York City. The depth and vulnerability she shares about all manner of issues, including new & old friendships, menopause, marriage, trying to be a great mom and all of the things that come as we grow and age is just what I needed. I think you might love it too!

As we are in this “Summer Series” topic of re-centering, I particularly loved her thoughts on finding inspiration… all in a chapter titled, “Put Yourself in the Path.” How on point is that?

“There’ a myth that (inspiration) is mercurial and wispy, that it’s floaty and unpredictable and you just cross your fingers and hope it lands on you at the right time. ‘Not true!’ Inspiration is my responsibility. It doesn’t strike like lightning. You can’t manhandle it or make demands of it, but you can put yourself in the path of it. You make yourself available to it.”

To me, one of the best products of re-centering is that inspiration…creativity and clarity often emerge! How can you put yourself in the path over the next several weeks? Can you make time to seek out nature? To watch the hummingbirds living their best lives, or stare up at the magnificence of an old tree? To stroll through a farmer’s market and ruminate on the lives of those who are literally sowing seeds and putting in the hours to ensure we have fresh produce? To find a nearby lake to simply stare and find your mind freeing up space? Can you coordinate an ice cream date with a friend or family member or grab a box of popsicles to share? Can you grab a glass jar and go find some fire flies to spark your inner child? Can you find a cool art gallery to get lost in?

What are some other ideas? I know everyone would love to hear them! I have some friends who recently went on cruises by themselves … What a brave and amazing thing to do! The one posted a pic on a hammock outside of her seaside room. How cool is that? Hearing all of the ideas alone inspires me!

Shauna continues in that same chapter, “What I’m learning is that in the same way we put ourselves in the path of inspiration, we also put ourselves in the path of joy…and sometimes frankly, it takes a little muscle… I no longer wait for joy to rise up unbidden, I put myself in her path every chance I get.” That resonates and is a wonderful reminder and challenge for us all.

Here’s to a summer of fresh thinking and renewed souls. I’m praying and cheering for you all!

A Summer Series: Re-centering on what’s important

I am writing this on Sunday and it’s my mom’s birthday! Yay for 79th birthdays. Yay for life. As many of you who read this know, life is fragile… as in we or our loves ones can be living our best lives one moment and the next. Celebrations of all kinds are the very best parts of life; as is ensuring we are centered enough to devote our limited energy to what truly is important.

One of scriptures I’ve thought through often over the years references Jesus, “withdrawing to the mountain alone.” There are times he went with his disciples and times alone. I can resonate with that. At times, being alone seems crucial. And at times, I need to be surrounded by my best girlfriends (and of course my boys at other times!). The Bible references stories of him being among the “multitudes,” and then the need to remove himself to seek re-centering. I personally have always been more likely to want to “withdraw” to the water, and long walks on country roads or a wooded trail. Regardless, I envision Jesus resting in a cabin wherever he is, journaling, walking, napping, breathing deeply… all with an intentional focus on drawing himself closer to what he might hear from God. An attempt to find wisdom, to discern his next steps and to restore his soul so that he could engage fully.

This summer is different for me personally, so I don’t have any plans yet for a “cabin” retreat. I am in transition from KC to Arizona and my frequent travel is to make it back to see the fam. For 13 years, we went to a family camp, Pine Cove, in the beautiful Texas pines, and my heart and mind were always reinvigorated in the absolutely best way.

As I write this, I am realizing that this re-centering just has to happen, even this year, and probably, ESPECIALLY this year. When life get’s a bit crazier than we hope, we likely should double down on the recenter and restore playbook. My advice to my younger self, as well as all of those out there that may need it, is to absolutely commit yourself to this practice in your life. Stop what you are doing and create a retreat – any space that serves the purpose of restoration.

If you have favorite practices in this category of “re-centering” please send them my way and I’ll post out over the summer! I’ll be praying for all of you! Prayers for all good things… for just enough sunshine, ice cream cones, watermelon, fireflies, afternoon naps… and love overflowing.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Look back at the evidence. Pursing a lifetime of celebrations.

It was truly wonderful to be at my son Sam’s law school graduation this week. Nineteen years of school and he’s now achieved the goal he set for himself as a young boy. Our lives are made of our hopes and dreams, and in the process we are exposed to all manner of people, thoughts, experiences, fears and even magical moments that fill the gaps on the way there. 

I love graduations because they force us to reflect. They force us to hold the weight of what we or a loved one has accomplished. As we wait for the graduates to march in, listen to voices of those who have shared this journey, as a teacher, mentor or peer… and finally watch them boldly take the stage to physically accept their diploma, our minds have the opportunity to process the significance of the moment.

One of the speakers used the thought above in his words to the graduates: “Look back at the evidence.” He went on to talk how the process of law school had “unearthed capacities” they didn’t know they had. I liked that. It seems life is always “unearthing” capacities we have no idea we can achieve. How cool! This narrative points us to how important it is to consider where we have walked and how our day to day small actions add up and ultimately curate the story of our lives.  Look back at the evidence of your life and revel in where you are today.  

Pursuing celebrations early and often has almost always been a life mantra of mine. I’m thankful for this week’s reminder. It’s spring, graduation season and the ideal time to absorb, reflect and yep… celebrate. Cheers to anyone who is a graduate or who may be celebrating someone they love this month. May those moments be held tightly and honored as they well should be.  

The hardest job you will ever love: Mother’s Day

Sitting here preparing to write, I was a bit perplexed on where to focus – and then I fell upon Ann’s blog, which is simply magical if you ask me. I have so many authors I love, but Ann Voskamp has one of the most incredibly impactful & poetic voices of our generation. Here are some quotes on this topic of motherhood that truly are profound… good conversation starters (if you will) for today’s blog post.

“Parenting is never about how your kids turn out. It’s always and only about how you keep turning toward your kids and their Maker.”

She urges us to keep “turning toward.” I love that. My interpretation… to turn in, to lean in, to listen and take it ALL deep into our souls. (Try is really what I mean… try to listen to understand). To experience the full onset of the messy days and celebratory moments is really what motherhood is all about, isn’t it? It’s literally ALL of it: the tough conversations, the midnight hours of fever and illness, the conflict, the sitting together silently waiting for someone to speak, and sometimes shared tears (or silent tears). And of course the very best parts – the dancing in the kitchen or on wedding reception floors, traveling & experiencing our world together, the car rides to practice, the curbside coaching moments and the bedtime rituals that fill our homes with love. The most critical to me: the constant refocus of myself and the boys to their Maker. I have found that to be the single element of truth in everything good and every struggle. Re-centering…often daily on God somehow brings it all forward as growth and goodness if we allow it.

“The work of every parent is to give the best they know how now, and the work of every child is to forgive their parents the best they can now.”

Does that just resonate? We as parents do what we think is best in the moment. Sometimes we know within minutes it was not our most shining moment, and sometimes we don’t know until years later that our words or actions were an epic fail. Nevertheless, we live out the days truly trying to do the best with what we have in that moment, be it knowledge, resources or emotional capacity. Someday our kids will understand that… but not quite yet. We live in that gap generally.

And then there is this part of the child forgiving “the best they can now.” Here’s the thing I love about that statement, “The best they can now:” We all… in every time of our lives, have certain levels of capacity to forgive, to give, to love, to whatever. Our capacity ebbs and flows and is largely dependent on the strength of our spiritual life in that season of our lives. We must remember that we all do what we can for the most part. Forgiveness, therefore is essential for both the parent and child. Grace – early and often!

“Motherhood is never about training your children to be so good they won’t ever fall, it’s about letting them see you fall in love every day with a good God.”

If I don’t do anything else in my life as a mother, and hopefully some day a grandmother, I hope that they will see me fall in love every day with a good God. It’s something I am committed to and fully believe that all levels of good, stressful, scary and beautiful moments can be worked thru if we all stay focused on this truth. Being focused on God is central to Motherhood for me so far…. directing and redirecting ourselves and our children in the ways we know how.

Offering deep thanks today for my mother who in this season is the very best cheerleader and spiritual supporter. Also so much love to the many mother figures I have had in my life. God has always provided the most amazing women to step in and meet me right where I needed their love and support and I am forever grateful. If you get a moment today, reaching out to some of those would be a truly wonderful things for us all to do! Sending love to you all.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: What are your non-negotiables?

What brings you to full life? As in vitality, thriving and growing?

There is a business phrase we use a lot, “what is the minimally viable product/service (aka MVP) at this point in time?” That got me thinking: We all have to know what this is for us in our personal lives as well. What are we not willing to settle for? What are the minimum requirements we have put in place? Our personal non-negotiables…

  • Eight hours of sleep every night? Is that even possible? (Shout out to folks in my age range who just may be living through a season of sleeplessness… hormones and all of that jazz!)
  • Daily movement? What does that look like? Walking the dog? A 20-minute walk each day? (My latest is a 2-mile morning walk. I remember my grandparents did a 2-mile walk each day and that seems wise.)
  • Connection with friends or family? Calling mom or dad if you are lucky enough to have them still once a week or…?

Others streaming to the top of my mind…

  • Being rooted in my faith
  • Being mindful of saving enough for retirement
  • Being as healthy as possible so that I can hike, play, etc. with my future grandchildren.
  • Ensuring I have an activity creativity outlet – writing, sculpting etc.
  • Curating my schedule to allow for “white space” for my reading or doing nothing at all…

What are yours?

I read an article this week about how short life is. This one, by Robin Sharma, talked about how, at roughly 50 years old, you have about 25 Christmas’s left. That’s 25 opportunities to sit around the table with loved ones, 25 more Valentine’s Days to dote on your special love(s), 25 more 4th of Julys to watch the sky light up in celebration. Heck, we have more than 25 days in a single month and that doesn’t seem at all enough time to look in the eyes of those I hold near and dear.

Regardless of what time we think we have left in this world, each day is a gift and we have the power to outline our non-negotiables and act on them daily. There is proven strength in writing down our goals and so I hope some of you may find this a worthy exercise this week. There is no better time than the present to call out to the world the beautiful life you desire.

Life is measured by love: Upping our love game this week

(revisiting a post from 2020)

Who doesn’t love puppies? (Okay, kittens, too. Heck, let’s add baby ducks and chickens!) I ran across a tweet from Pope Francis today that stopped me in my tracks. I couldn’t get it out of my head, so I am hoping this is as powerful for you this week.

The tragedy we are experiencing summons us to take seriously the things that are serious, and not to be caught up in those that matter less; to rediscover that life is of no use if it is not used to serve others. For life is measured by love.

Is that not just perfect?! I love this idea of “summoning us.” As in, I am calling you into my life. I am bringing in all that is good and lovely and true.

The last couple of years have revealed again that suffering and joy often come linked together, hand in hand. We learn through both, and when we take the focus off of ourselves and instead dedicate ourselves to service and love, we are able to better find joy in all circumstances.

How can we all love the best this week? Serve the best? How can we take the focus off of all things COVID-19 and world drama and become a pain reliever for someone in need? How can we shift the energy and the story to create stories of love? As a Christian, Jesus spent time cleaning the feet of the disciples… this was in a time and geography that certainly would have made this an especially sacrificial act. This urges me to dig deep and think outside of my normal service patterns. I know if you are reading this, you are likely a “giver” and someone who constantly focuses in this way, but I am thinking this is a call to going deeper still. What is one thing I can do to in sacrifice in service to another?

Cheering everyone on, and praying for you and your loved ones. May the Lord cover each of you and inspire your minds and dinner time (and Super Bowl) conversations with innovative ways to up the ante on our capacity to spread love this week.

All kinds of powerful truth here: “I am not allowed to leave out of fear.”

‘Between Two Kingdoms,’ the absolutely astounding memoir of Suleika Jaouad, has too many profound thoughts to process probably in several lifetimes; however, the one above is all kinds of powerful. Her book is within the storyline of a cancer diagnosis in her early 20s that somehow seems to traverse through so many of the themes of our lives – those who have experienced great physical loss and those whose loss has come in other ways. There is so much magic in the beauty of her writing…it is like none other I have read. Her diagnosis, leaving her with clear wisdom and a desire to share it with the world. We all are so much better for it. (Just a reminder, that sharing your story is one of the most charitable and important things you can do in your lifetime. It is how we all rise above our tides… shared humanity. Please share yours!)

“…But I force myself to live by a rule: I am not allowed to leave out of fear.” … (In this case, she is on a solo road trip, a 100 day one.. trying to find herself after a long journey of one health crisis after another.)

The mind runs through so many possible scenarios here where leaving out of fear seems like a reasonable plan…

A tough physical challenge (and to be honest, sometimes even a harder than normal bike ride.)

A challenging season in a relationship… or better yet… entering a new “room” or relationship

Addressing optimal health & happiness (I know friends who won’t get a physical, colonoscopy, mammogram… see a therapist… all because of fear)

As you can see, I sometimes change out the word “leave” for “act” but in all cases, it is the same. Human nature is to run from what is not comfortable… to relieve ourselves of the perceived pain of hard conversations and pushing ourselves beyond what our simple minds believe we can achieve. We can often do so much more. Fear is the queen of lies, and often what holds us back from the best parts of growth and life.

It’s totally normal, and yet, we have to continue “moving” as my grandmother would say. Keep moving. Keep forging ahead. DO NOT LET YOURSELF LEAVE BECAUSE OF FEAR… A phrase I am going to tattoo in my mind. A real one isn’t a bad idea. I wish I had this truth much earlier in my life. I’m writing this for that reason. I am hopeful some younger folks as well might commit to this BOLD DECISION. What areas of your life do you find yourself having that urge to run? To get the heck out of dodge? To find a calmer pasture? When you feel that, consider making a commitment to yourself to be sure it is not due to a fear that you can possibly work through and perhaps be much stronger for on the other side. One breath and one step at a time.

Here’s to a strong week … a strong year… a strong LIFE. I am cheering you all on!

Simple thoughts Sunday: The wilderness taught David to see beauty everywhere

When my grandparents used to travel, they would come home and be so proud of their photos. They took the time to print them and put the pictures under those protector sheets for safe keeping and for display. At the time, I thought it was so boring – picture after picture of mountains, fields, and birds… I wanted more go-karts and less potted flowers, I guess.

My, how things have changed.

I’m not sure entirely if it’s age and wisdom, or how Apple’s iPhone has creates endless possibilities and opportunities to be creative. Maybe both! Regardless, I find myself mesmerized by the beauty in a yellow-breasted bird sitting on the fence, visiting me for breakfast. The soaring mountains, the painted deserts, the astounding perfect design of moss growing on a fallen tree on a long winter’s walk, and the aging hands of those a couple of decades ahead of me. So of course i take ample pictures of all of these things. As of today, I have 42,224 pictures, to be exact.

But back to my point: Beauty can be found everywhere. I’m sure my grandparents knew that those mountains and rivers of life had deeper meaning that they learned as they traversed their lives. What I know is that often the more painful and challenging parts of our lives seem to create a pause that offers us this incredible time to look up, look around and realize that once you get off of the highway, you find yourself surrounded by beauty.

I am so thankful for these moments – every last one of them. I’m grateful for the season I just left, which presented me with another opportunity to see God’s beauty throughout my life. I pray that I will use this to serve well in every day I am given.

I heard a message once that said you are either in the middle of a challenging season, just left one, or are headed into one. In other words: We’ve all been there most likely. Wherever this message finds you today, know that you are not alone. In fact, God has given us more love and beauty than we can imagine. Look around, breathe deeply and know that God will unveil all manner of stunning and extravagant love in so many forms when we are ready and willing to receive. In the midst of our adventures, let the simple bird pictures be plentiful.

Cheers to a wonderful week ahead and the ability to walk into the days with finding and serving up beauty at the top of our to do lists.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The strength of your life will depend on your decision to abide.

Abide: To stay, to uphold, to hold to… keep to.. stick to… ABIDE

What a powerful word. I love it when a strong word hits so hard that it stays with me. It’s not like I didn’t know the word, but when said in a certain way, or perhaps at a particular time, it just settles deep. Where does your mind go when you hear the phrase, ” The strength of my life will depend on your decision to abide?” So much to unpack…

First of all, “The strength of my life…” What is the strength of my life right now? Is it strong? Is it producing the results I want and believe I’m called to? Am I striving in this moment or am I complacent? What defines strong for you? There is no wrong answer. It’s a worthy question.

Next, “will depend on my decision to abide.” Why abide? Why stay focused? In this reference, abiding is all about staying close to God…to ensure we are consistent in our pursuit through whatever means necessary. It might be writing, praying, reading the scripture, positioning ourselves around other spirit-led people, attending a place of worship, and yes, even hiking in this beautiful world God created. What brings you close? What helps you abide? I find God in so many places and conversations. For me, I have found it is about making the decision to look for His guidance literally anywhere… an elevator conversation or witnessing a beautiful sunset are sometimes the most significant. For me, this part is all about making the DECISION and being committed. As with many parts of life, we make it harder than it needs to be… simply… make the decision and commit.

As we are in mid-January, the days and nights are colder and darker, and this seems like a truly ideal time to reflect on just how we can strengthen our lives. The thought of staying close to the fire and to God is a truly beautiful thought. I’m praying for you all to seize this moment and pursue decisions that brings you toward your best self.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Let’s have some urgency over our lives

What does that mean to you? The comment has stuck with me since I heard it.

Robin Arzon is an outstanding Peloton instructor, but more than anything, she is a motivator through and through. A year or so ago I did a series on the blog called #HeardOnPeloton… almost all courtesy of her passion and ability to share it with enough power to get your attention. We all need more people like Robin surrounding us. People who speak LIFE, STRENGTH and ENCOURAGEMENT. Anyone else agree?

As we step into the year ahead, we have an open canvas available for us to create and curate beautifully. One really great step is to ask God what He has for us in this season… Asking ourselves, what is my season declaration? How do I claim this BOLDLY? Run toward – not stroll leisurely, to use Eugene Peterson’s words.

“…I want you to get out there and walk-better yet, run! On the road God called you to travel. I don’t want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don’t want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline-not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each in acts of love.”

Ephesians, 4:1-2-Message version

My declaration/”word” of the year is IMAGINE. As in design, build, create… I am claiming this for so many reasons, but primarily, I want to advance good in this world. I have found that in order to do this, I need to stay positioned in prayer and surrounded by people that throw around kindness and their brilliance around like confetti. How about you? As we go into week two of 2022, I am praying for each of you and believe in our collective power to make this year the very best year!