To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Powerful

Being realistic about getting to a happy life

I had a revelation on Saturday. I am not entirely sure where it came from, but one of my dear friends was sharing with me that she didn’t know if she would ever get to happiness. I had a strong, clear reaction which kind of surprised me to be honest (since, like I’m sure many of you, sometimes happiness can be hard to nail down…). I guess it was somewhat of a lightbulb moment or a personal epiphany. Here’s what I responded to her statement:

Happiness is a moment – and then another moment.

I went on to say that sometimes I feel that America gives us a false hope that happiness is something we obtain – a pinnacle or a mountaintop where we stay once we achieve. (I also may have said that it was an American fantasy from hell, but maybe that was a bit strong?) In this moment, I somehow owned this while I was saying it. While I’m clearly not a researcher on happiness, I am compelled to believe this is the absolute truth.

Sure, happiness “is a choice” most days and through most seasons. We can choose to find joy in the smallest pleasures, like a light breeze hitting our face on a warm day, or a courageous flower popping up through the sidewalk crack. Oftentimes, happiness eludes us. We look right past the elderly couple holding hands in the grocery store, or the fact that we woke up breathing, or that were able to celebrate another birthday with friends and family.

Happiness… It’s in both the experiences we choose and those that choose us. A season of questioning or when your spirit just isn’t joyful, doesn’t mean you aren’t happy. It just means you are normal and that happiness is about to catch you again! Be on the lookout for those. A happy life is a compilation of happy moments. Cheering you all on!

Let’s be of service to those around us!

It’s Easter week. Full of hope and excitement – if you let it.

So, what can put us into that frame of mind?

Whether you are reading this with a heart full of joy – feeling that momentum in your soul – or during a rough season of life, I have found that there is profound power in focusing on others first.

Let me explain…

I consider this idea of “serving well,” and getting outside of my own head, to be one of the most important thing I can do. I love Oprah’s reminder in the quote above that service is an opportunity – a gift, really.

We have the choice to serve others every single day, whether or not you’re “feeling” the positive energy within yourself at the time. It is still a choice. Giving love and being a source of help where needed is arguably one of life’s greatest gifts. We were born with a heart to serve.

I hope this Holy Week fills your heart (and Easter baskets!) with hope and joy by extending a hand to someone that God has placed in your path.

What do you NEED today?

So… what do YOU need today?

What will absolutely brighten your day?

Fill your soul? Lighten your load?

Spark a fire?

Ignite your creativity?

What would it take to go do that? What would you or someone else have to do to make that happen? Spring is all about fresh life, hope, joy… Our life is ours to create, to curate, and to actually live in abundantly!

Sounds easy, right? Maybe for some. But in case you are like me and struggle with this at first, I want to share a mind mapping exercise I use to make this happen each year.

I start by putting each of my life’s main categories (finance, career, family, spiritual etc.) on paper, then I develop 2-3 key action items for each one of them to ensure I achieve my personal goals or dreams. My new addition to this exercise today is asking: Where can I add joy, – or, what would brighten my days? – in each area? For example, instead of “spend more time with my family,” perhaps I could expand that to “embark on a Saturday road trip with my sister by the end of May.”

I’d love to hear your ideas!

Here’s to a great week and the best spring ever – let’s make it so!

The power of visualization

WOW! I love these inspirational messages from Instagram. I limit myself to 30 minutes a day right now on Insta, but I find it to be very inspirational for someone like me who takes things in best visually.

I like to think I do this, but I am honestly wondering as I write this if I do this in every area. For example, do I really walk out how I want to “show up” physically? As in, athletically speaking? My highest self? Ouch… I don’t think so. Maybe a “pretty good” version, but highest? Definitely not.

Let’s pull the plane up a bit and back into the question of what exactly does your highest self look like?

If I were hitting my stride in full force, what would my highest self look like on an ideal day? My wake up time? Meals? Physical activity? Productivity? Would I design art? Write something breathtaking? Breathe deeply and eat nutritious and beautiful meals? Who would I surround myself with? How would I elevate my mind? Would I be reading classic literature or listening to stunning music?

This is such a worthwhile question.

I hope you will not only visualize your highest self, but write out what that looks like and move ever closer to that each and every day.

So much love for you all. Thank you for reading!

How to live out honor

Honor | It’s a heavy word. A word filled with so much opportunity. A word bursting with love and meaning.

I have a friend who shared a recent conversation/argument they were having with their fiancé. The exchange was hurtful, leaving a recovery scene of fear and pain – anything but honor.

Similarly, I was in my office last week when I overheard a staff member sharing how they were hurt by another employee’s comments about them that they heard through the grapevine.

Without giving a lot of thought to our words, we create an environment that does not promote honor. How and why does this happen? I do not believe that’s anyone’s intent. It’s not like you wake up and say to yourself, “Today I am going to extend hurt instead of love… ” That doesn’t happen in the world I live in, yet the reality is our homes, car and corridors at times leave a residue of dishonor.

Today, it would be awesome to put honor back on top of our lists. I even told my young, soon-to-be-married friend that if I had to do it over, I might tattoo “honor” on my wrist before my wedding day. Beyond my marriage, the permanent reminder to show honor to the ones I love and who God has entrusted and surrounded me with seems like a great idea.

What is honor? Honor is focusing on admiration & respect in all we do. Here are some thoughts that might be helpful:

  • Compliment early and often – Esteem those deserving publicly and privately
  • Be patient – Remember that “slow to speak…” blog from Sunday?
  • Ask questions and show interest – Actually appreciate differences and opposing view points
  • Overlook mistakes and comments
  • Use the Acronym THINK in your thoughts, intentions and actions – Is it True? Helpful? Inspiring? Necessary? Kind?
  • Forgive quickly

One of my favorite coaching messages for myself and others is to “always wear the white hat,” stand above the comments you know aren’t real, but are full of emotion and a pain generally not rooted in the truth. If you like Michelle Obama, then her famous quote, “When they go low, we go high,” comes to mind.

Let’s outdo each other with HONOR this week.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: A game-changing strategy

Wow – do I ever need to remember this. Honestly, I always have, but sometimes I really need it – like when all of the “stuff” that has been in the news this week strikes.

The scripture, found in James 1, actually has a bit more to say: “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry.” I’m not much of the “angry” type, but the rest of that would be a solid idea for a tattoo (insert lol). This is truly profound guidance, whether it’s in a relationship or in the workplace, or simply “cocktail party” conversation.

So, how about you? Anyone else find this timely? One thing that I’m learning is the importance of not only being slow to respond, but in asking really thoughtful questions. Asking the right questions, with the intent to learn and understand can be just the game changer you need to elevate a conversation. With a life goal of “serving well” and truly coming alongside one another to make each better, this is a must-have strategy.

Praying for you all as you enter our first full week of March. Let’s go!

You never get your days back, you know?

Powerful thought. I am in the middle of Robin Sharma’s new book, ‘The 5AM Club’ and tucked in was this profound message: “You never get your days back, you know?”

Sharma highlights Eugene O’ Kelly’s final memoir, ‘Chasing Delight,’ and its critical message that we need to be engaged in every moment. O’Kelly, the once CEO of KPMG, one of the largest accounting firms in the U.S., wrote the book after learning that he would soon pass unexpectedly. This deep thought still has me reeling…

“In the course of saying goodbye, he would sometimes invite a friend or acquaintance to take a stroll in the park.” O’Kelly stating, no doubt with regret, “This was sometimes not only the final time we would take such a leisurely walk together, but also the first time.”

I’m sure most of you, especially if you read this blog, are already intentional about your time and truly value your loved ones. I’m confident you spend a great part of your year creating moments that capture love and experiences that you hold on to tightly. This message makes me want to reach a bit deeper. Who are those I would want to spend time with if I were in my final days? Why haven’t I made it a priority, and how can I curate my life so that I have time for these priorities? It doesn’t seem easy, but I am confident I could clear my days in the blink of an eye if I really needed to. What about you? Does this resonate?

A final message for today, via Sharma: “O’Kelly wondered what it would take to make healthy people slow down and heed his quotation of Jonathan Swift, “May you live every day of your life.”?

My prayer is that we will all do just that. Live and love deeply, my friends.

What do you need right now?

This captures my attention for some reason. I don’t know if it is because of the weather, or because it seems like every other conversation I have been a part of lately points to one of the parties needing a deeper level of caring.

We all tend to go through our days, moving through our agendas and checking off our lists, but I’m not sure we spend enough time thinking about what our hearts and souls are telling us they “need” at the moment. It seems that we need to listen and be aware more of those signs we are surely getting that say we need more of something – healthier food, sleep, etc. I also think that we should challenge our colleagues, friends, family and loved ones to ask the question and really act on what they need. I call this “self preservation” – some call it self care.

Self care has multiple benefits, impacting your physical and emotional health. It’s an important topic and one I hope that you all take action toward. As Lady Gaga said at the Grammy’s last week, and I shared on Sunday, “We gotta take care of each other.” We do this best if we take care of ourselves first.

Let’s make this coming weekend a time for drawing closer to what this might mean and act accordingly.

The power of community

(Photo courtesy of the Chiefs App, #ThisisChiefsKingdom)

Most people know that I am a huge football fan. Make that a huge CHIEFS fan. I come by it, honestly, as my parents used to drive to a nearby city to catch the game when it wasn’t televised locally.

Here’s the thing: As much as I love the grit on the field, and the thrill of the game, what I really love is how the community of fans come together to support their team. I love that no matter where you are, if a fellow fan has on Chiefs gear, you want to high five them. I love that no matter where you come from, the shared love for the team brings people together from joy. It is energizing and soul filling.

The power of community is one of the greatest parts of life, if you ask me. From sports team communities to work, church, neighbors… all communities you spend time with. We have such an opportunity to lift each other up and elevate the lives of others when we are together. I love that.

I hope each of you have a great weekend – and cheer big on Sunday – and no matter what, build, honor and love on your community!

Dominate THIS moment (and then the next)

dom-i-nate (verb) Have a commanding influence on; exercise control over.  Influence… Command… Govern… Direct, preside, master…

mo-ment (noun) A very brief period of time. An appropriate time for doing something; an opportunity. Instant… split second… jiff… juncture, stage…

Domination over our daily habits – and the systems we create to ensure we have positive habits – is a necessary action all of the time, but in particular this month. In his book, ‘Atomic Habits,’ James Clear shares how tiny changes can create remarkable results – GAME-CHANGING results.

One example is to be super clear on when we are going to do something we set out to do – identifying the what and when are the key. So, if you want to start doing 10 pushups you may say, “I am going to do 10 pushups, right after I brush my teeth and get into bed.” Easy, right? The difference is that simple. Establish a “system” around what you want to do.

It is mission critical for me to optimize my life so I can fulfill my purpose. I want to make an impact on those around me every single time I have the opportunity. I know many of you share that goal. We need to be on our game for this to actually happen. To that end, dominating our moments is just a tad important.

I hope this inspires you to think through what areas you need to dominate or influence in a short time to help you achieve your master goals… Dominating takes intention, but therein lies the difference we can make.

(As a side note for my #CHIEFSKINGDOM: Let’s dominate every moment of Sunday’s game like we did Saturday! Coaches, players and fans alike… let’s UNIFY to DOMINATE.)

“Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.” – Stephen Covey