To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Parenthood

The hardest job you will ever love: Mother’s Day

Sitting here preparing to write, I was a bit perplexed on where to focus – and then I fell upon Ann’s blog, which is simply magical if you ask me. I have so many authors I love, but Ann Voskamp has one of the most incredibly impactful & poetic voices of our generation. Here are some quotes on this topic of motherhood that truly are profound… good conversation starters (if you will) for today’s blog post.

“Parenting is never about how your kids turn out. It’s always and only about how you keep turning toward your kids and their Maker.”

She urges us to keep “turning toward.” I love that. My interpretation… to turn in, to lean in, to listen and take it ALL deep into our souls. (Try is really what I mean… try to listen to understand). To experience the full onset of the messy days and celebratory moments is really what motherhood is all about, isn’t it? It’s literally ALL of it: the tough conversations, the midnight hours of fever and illness, the conflict, the sitting together silently waiting for someone to speak, and sometimes shared tears (or silent tears). And of course the very best parts – the dancing in the kitchen or on wedding reception floors, traveling & experiencing our world together, the car rides to practice, the curbside coaching moments and the bedtime rituals that fill our homes with love. The most critical to me: the constant refocus of myself and the boys to their Maker. I have found that to be the single element of truth in everything good and every struggle. Re-centering…often daily on God somehow brings it all forward as growth and goodness if we allow it.

“The work of every parent is to give the best they know how now, and the work of every child is to forgive their parents the best they can now.”

Does that just resonate? We as parents do what we think is best in the moment. Sometimes we know within minutes it was not our most shining moment, and sometimes we don’t know until years later that our words or actions were an epic fail. Nevertheless, we live out the days truly trying to do the best with what we have in that moment, be it knowledge, resources or emotional capacity. Someday our kids will understand that… but not quite yet. We live in that gap generally.

And then there is this part of the child forgiving “the best they can now.” Here’s the thing I love about that statement, “The best they can now:” We all… in every time of our lives, have certain levels of capacity to forgive, to give, to love, to whatever. Our capacity ebbs and flows and is largely dependent on the strength of our spiritual life in that season of our lives. We must remember that we all do what we can for the most part. Forgiveness, therefore is essential for both the parent and child. Grace – early and often!

“Motherhood is never about training your children to be so good they won’t ever fall, it’s about letting them see you fall in love every day with a good God.”

If I don’t do anything else in my life as a mother, and hopefully some day a grandmother, I hope that they will see me fall in love every day with a good God. It’s something I am committed to and fully believe that all levels of good, stressful, scary and beautiful moments can be worked thru if we all stay focused on this truth. Being focused on God is central to Motherhood for me so far…. directing and redirecting ourselves and our children in the ways we know how.

Offering deep thanks today for my mother who in this season is the very best cheerleader and spiritual supporter. Also so much love to the many mother figures I have had in my life. God has always provided the most amazing women to step in and meet me right where I needed their love and support and I am forever grateful. If you get a moment today, reaching out to some of those would be a truly wonderful things for us all to do! Sending love to you all.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The many faces of “mom”

There are way too many days to pick just one to honor the moms out there. Alas, today in America we pay a special tribute.

I am incredibly grateful to have my mom still. She is strong and courageous, and I hope to celebrate her often!

In today’s blog, though I thought we should look a bit broader.

I love this picture because it reminds me of one of my favorite roles: dog mom! That’s a fun example of one of the many mom roles that happen across our communities. We have the teachers and nurses (a special shout out to both professions that we recognized this week across our country) who nurture and hold us accountable to grow in knowledge and health. Needless to say, this was highlighted tenfold this past year!

We have the “bonus” moms and grandmothers who didn’t physically carry a child, but who stepped into a role that they embraced daringly. (God bless you all!) We have the aunts, the co-workers, the neighborhood moms, and a host of other women who play a big part in helping raise our younger generations. It takes a village, after all.

Today, I hope you will reach out to the ladies who have helped you out along the way. Perhaps also to someone you know others may not think to honor. (I guess I may even have to acknowledge the “cat” moms out there?! Kidding, kidding!)

Have the best week!

Family: Your first team

Family connections run deep.

No matter what your family looks like or how dysfunctional they may be, family creates a bond like no other.

Family sees us at our worst and our best: tears of joy and pain. It’s raw, but a good raw.

Family is vulnerability.

They have seen the real us and vice versa, and they stick around regardless of whether they like what they see.

Even if we step away or create a distance, we are drawn back because, well, family is family.

Like many of you, over the years I went to extended family reunions as a child and thought it was fun, but totally missed the meaning. I watched my boys and was surprised that they seem to realize and honor the depth of family at a young age, and valued its importance.

That has me thinking: We all could use a reminder to really invest in this area. It’s easy to put family on the back burner unless, like children, they need us for survival. Family will be there and we know it.

For that very reason, we should make a concentrated effort to invest and honor them every chance we get. Say thank you, show appreciation, lift them up… We do this in the work place and we do it with our friends, but do we tell our favorite uncle that he really means a lot to us? What about telling him that his service to our country brings you so much pride and gratitude? I don’t do this enough.

Let’s pay attention and make some investments in those who are our greatest cheerleaders. Who’s with me?

(Rewind: This is a revamped post from 2017, because it rings true now and always.)

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The Lord WILL give you the desires of your heart

Happy Birthday Sam, Tucker and Joe.

My beautiful young men are 21 today. They are my greatest blessing. I truly believe the scripture on this photo collage. If you don’t know my story, I was told I likely would not have children. In fact, I was given an 11% chance, and that was with the help of modern medicine. With a magical touch of God’s hand, we were blessed with three boys that I know will impact our world.

Whatever your desires are today… for love, healing, joy, peace, fun… my prayer is that you will feel God right in the middle.

Have the best year ever boys, and know that you indeed have filled the desires of my heart.

By the way… it’s time for new pictures! 🙂

Great conversations: A template for 1-on-1 talks

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

(I want to note that if you don’t happen to have kids, the ideas in this post could pretty much be used in any conversation with someone you care about… I hope you find it helpful!)

As a mom, I am always mindful of ways to be better in that role. As the boys get older, I find this more challenging. I want to be someone they can always trust to listen to their heart (without judgement), but someone who they know will also spur them along toward God’s gifting in their lives.  This can be done through encouragement, brainstorming the “possibilities” together and even rebuke and course-correction.

I’d have to say I’m not so good at the latter. I find it challenging given the different personality types knowing just how to approach certain topics, while honoring how they think and digest information. I long for the spirit of a great teacher or coach who knows just how to train and get the best out of their students.

Every summer of the boys’ younger years we went to an amazing family camp, Pine Cove in Tyler, Texas. Beyond the family excitement part, the best part for me was getting great training on parenting and leadership in the home. The parents had an opportunity to hear world-class speakers who spent a portion of each day speaking into us and giving us ideas on how to grow as a parent. I have found that since we aged out of camp, so to speak, a couple of years ago that it has been helpful for me to sit down for a week in the summer and maintain this focus, which is where this blog was birthed.

Through reading, scripture and conversation, I made this list of  questions or conversation starters that could be used as a template for these 1-on-1 discussions.

The idea here is to focus on soul questions:

  • How are you?
  • What are you seeing? Are you on the path you want to be on?
  • What do you think life is teaching you right now?
  • What are you learning?
  • Where do you want to travel? What do you have planned that is “fun” and filling of the soul?
  • What are you reading?
  • What are you living for?
  • What gets in the way?
  • How can I best help/encourage/inspire/support you?

This I hope gives you a list to start from. I’d love to hear what others you have!

Hello August!

(Photo Creds: We Heart It!)

Happy August ya’ll!

I don’t know about you, but July was both super long and also fleeting. I always have a bit of anxiety when July ends, because August seems to rush in with back to school and a lot of competing agendas in the workplace, community etc.

I always seem to be holding tight to the invisible rope attaching me to longer summer days and cancelled meetings due to vacation schedules. Summer is just a bit easier. August means we need to start the process of putting our game face back on and get fired up to make the last half of the year count! I’m ready – perhaps a little reluctantly! How about you?

So, here are some thoughts I have as we set ourselves up for GREAT SUCCESS in the last five months of 2017:

I think we need to start with a strong game plan. Not a multi-point strategic document, but a handful or less of key “must haves” for you to feel like you slayed the year in the best possible way.

Here’s my #1: Go BIG on PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL WELLNESS. Keep this top of mind, force it in my schedule, focus on my spiritual life, stop eating s***,  exercise more, challenge myself, renew my commitment to discipline in all things in this category… (Here’s the thing – I can’t do what I need and want to do without amazing health and energy, so it has to be #1)

Others on the list…

Stay focused on my “50 year” plan. That little document I put together to identify the 13 things I want to do this year leading up to my  big “50” in March… Let’s just say I’ve got some work to do.

Career growth. I launched a health care strategy company in May and need to get laser focused on where God wants this to go. It has a different “feel” or rhythm than my career so far, so I need to get in the “flow” of this new world!

Parenting. This is always a top priority because I want to be the best mom in whatever stage the boys are at. As they get older and they begin to take on this whole “adulting” thing, I need intention and guidance on how to step up in the best way possible. It’s always top of mind.

I think I have a few others, but the intent is to get you started with your “short” list this week. Let’s make every day count. I hope you’re reading this on a beach or lake somewhere and still soaking up summer. I pray it’s been ridiculously restoring and if not, that you figure out a way to carve out some time before the days shorten.

Always cheering you on!

– Lori

Heard at home: “I wish I was in Kindergarten right now”

This is terrific! Oh, how wonderful Kindergarten is. My boys had some amazing Kindergarten teachers, they got to take naps, color, sing, join hands with their class, and basically learn the important things in a well lived life.

When my son said this the other day, I laughed out loud. Is this not the truest statement? Even if for just a bit of our day, this time is down right THE BEST. If only we knew then what we know now.

When I was searching for the photo for the post, I came upon a quote, “Dear Kingergartners, if you don’t want your nap today, please send over to the high school.” There was another one, “Dear Naps, I am sorry I was such a jerk to you in Kindgergarten.” Ha!

Well, this post is just to make you laugh a bit, but we for sure can always use the reminder to appreciate the little things. I hope your weekend is great, and if it rains, I hope you will go do something wild and crazy like a Kindergartner… stomp in the mud, color and of course… NAP!

Be the ripple!

(Photo Creds: givesevendays.org)

Take a moment to watch this awesome video clip!

That video tells the story better than I can, but the bottom line is that a group of super-cool people that are trying to change the world by helping to re-write the story on how we all approach the differences we have and how they are sometimes dealt with. As our world becomes increasingly diverse, it is incumbent upon us take time to learn about other cultures and religions, and create a better understanding!

I wanted to use my blog this week as a platform to showcase the great events that are being held starting April 18 in Kansas City. The events are listed here. The events promise to provide us with a fresh perspective and help us ignite how we can MAKE A RIPPLE in our communities. If you aren’t local, take some time to review their website and the events. The great leaders behind GIVESEVENDAYS are often out in many communities across our country. If your community hasn’t rallied around this and you believe it’s important, let me know and I’ll put you in touch with the right folks to make it happen.

I hope your schedule will allow you to attend one or more of the events. If you are free Monday, April 24th, the week culminates with an evening walk that is a fabulous show of community unity! This year it will be held at Union Station, which is one of KC’s true historic landmarks and a beautiful place to celebrate.
I look forward to seeing some of you there! I know you will be inspired.

(partial repost from April 2016)

Simple thoughts Sunday – Are your relationships bringing you closer?

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

Someone posed this question to me a few months ago. It’s intended to be focused on your intimate relationships, but it’s still pretty broad.

I first thought about how useful this question would be for my 20-year-old boys, and then quickly realized it is a completely legitimate question for me. I’m not married, and really only in the past year(ish) considered dating more seriously. I am grateful this question was brought to my attention, because in its simplicity it speaks volumes.

Shouldn’t I be filtering any potential “candidate” that may become a key part of my life through this life impacting question? After all, if he’s not moving me closer to God (in my case… I realize many others have different religions or viewpoints), then why should I waste my time? I shouldn’t. You shouldn’t.

Whatever is important to you, if your partner is not a part of helping you go in that direction then they probably aren’t a long-term part of your plan. (Clearly, if you are already in a relationship it may bring forth a different set of questions… like how can I bring my partner closer to God? How can I have a conversation that I need him to pray over me when I’m facing a challenge?)

The same would be true for friendships that you invest a lot of time with. Back to the school days when your parents tell you to “hang with the right crowd.” I think it’s worth it to take an inventory of those friends in your inner circle. Are they bringing positive energy? Are they investing in you and your happiness? It’s a good process.

Finally, how are you bringing your friends closer to God? Are you really praying for them, seeking their hearts and what they may be confronting right now? How can you step up in this area?

I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I hope it ignites a little fire in you that has you move in that direction.

Have an awesome week.

Never doubt the impact of the crowd

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(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

Fall is filled with games… soccer, football, volleyball, etc.  Whether little league or professional sports, I have always loved being a sports spectator, and my boys brought that side of me to life even more. To be a part of a crowd, unified in support of a team and the energy that environment produces is life-filling to me. I can only imagine what it must be like for a top athlete or performer to feel that influence and channel it to bring out their best.

One of my boys and I were at a recent NFL game in another city, and to be honest, the crowd was just not that into it. Despite the attempts by the team to engage the fans via the cheerleaders and digital video boards, they just didn’t seem to want to get out of their seat and be active participants. As an avid Kansas City Chiefs fan, my son noticed as well and said, “Mom, I don’t think they realize the impact of the crowd.” He is so right. Good or bad, the crowd we surround ourselves with has a major influence on our performance.

I love that, because whether you are a musician, an athlete, a student, a mom or an office dweller, most of us need the “CROWD” to be positive and energized to achieve our best.

I wasn’t surprised to find out that for sports, there are experts in crowd psychology and how to impact the players in this category. Clearly, if you are a professional performer it is critical that you are able to play beyond the noise and stay focused. Perhaps it’s important for all of us to consider this as well. (We might just have to address that in another post.)

For today, the focus is on the impact of the crowd, and specifically, the POSITIVE POWER THE CROWD can have on us in the game of life. Is your crowd distracting you or cheering you on?  Be mindful that just like fans can influence the outcome of the game, they can impact the outcome of our days and potentially success. Also be mindful that they cannot change your skill or ability, but only your emotional ability to perform despite or in spite of their noise.

My thought is that the crowd will always have some naysayers, haters or whatever your term is, and only we have the power to ensure we are in a crowd that CHEERS US ON so that we can MAKE the IMPACT we were designed for.

Find a GREAT CROWD OF FANS and if you happen to be from KC, there are no great GREATER FANS THAN IN CHIEFS KINGDOM! Stop by and we can show you what real fans look like.