To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Leadership

BETTER

I am always fascinated by what makes a place “all of the rage.”

You know, those cult-like places where folks like us stand in line for hours waiting for our share of their awesomeness. In KC, there are several of these, but my favorite stand out right now is an ice cream place called BettyRaes.

(Photo creds: Canva)

It is SO HOT that Trip Advisor named it a top 50 “ice cream shops worth traveling for.” And it’s only a few years old, if that. Believe me, folks do travel for it and most days the line is out the door. But why? (Other than the s’mores sundae with coffee ice cream — pretty much is the best thing I’ve ever had…)

My perspective: It’s better. As in truly better.

It has created a unique offering via it’s menu. The service is better. The shop is community focused.

As Seth Godin, the famous marketer, would say: it’s achieved the notion of BETTER.

As we think through how we serve better, let’s think about what else we can do better. Be kinder, more focused on those around us, more open minded, more giving, more courteous drivers, more patient (that one resonates with me!), etc…

If you are in business — profit or non-profit — how can we be deemed “worthy” of a line out our door? We start by looking in the mirror and identifying areas where we can be better, and then we dive deep to get to worthy… and ideally, sustainable.

Your ideas are welcome!

(Here’s a song to get you in the mood and the mindset!)

Coming up for air! (Launching into mindfulness)

(Photo Creds: Canva)

I’m finally coming up for AIR. (See side note below if you’re interested.)

Does anyone else ever feel that way after a period of being either gone or otherwise detained — or both — from real life?

In the business world, I worked with a colleague that often used that phrase, “Oh, he/she will come up for air once they realize (their mistake, or whatever)…” It took me a while honestly to understand what they meant, but boy do I understand it now, on soooo many levels. I find myself coming up for air in finally “getting” a new concept, in working with people and trying to understand their point of view, and of course when I’m swamped and actually am coming up for air.

When I was gone, I spent some time researching the concept of mindfulness. It seems to be a hot topic, and aside from reading various articles on the benefits of meditation and yoga, I didn’t really understand what the big deal was. Maybe it was just the world’s way to change things up a bit to get your attention again on a topic? Regardless, the end result is the same and worthy of our attention.

That would be an overall goal of improved focus and awareness.

This could be of something as simple as your breath, or as complex as seeing the intricacy in beautiful architecture. Using that last example, if you are local and haven’t really walked and admired the streets of downtown KC around the Power and Light area, please do so. I looked at this recently with new eyes, and we have some simply amazing architecture.  A dear friend was with me and she explained so much of the history that I had no idea about. Sometimes, it’s hard to believe I’m almost 50 and know so little. I think I need more than one life so I can consume all of these wonderful details life has to offer.  One more reason for those of us at earlier ages to realize the importance of becoming “mindful” to our world. All parts of it!

I’m going to spend the rest of this week, Thursday and Sunday focused on the topic and I hope it is of great benefit to you. As you set your eyes on being the best, on serving the best, loving the best — MINDFULNESS is a terrific place to start in going deeper and achieving a higher calling. I’m in for that for sure!

Side Note:  I am not one to share the details of my life because I figure everyone has enough of their own “stuff.” If you are on my Instagram, you may have saw that we went on a life trip, and journeyed through some of the places that the Apostle Paul traveled during this mission. (Paul wrote much of the new testament, credited with 13 chapters.) I was fortunate to have two of my boys along for the trip and really missed the third. At the same time we were preparing to leave we moved into a “pod” temporarily and then day we returned, into our new home. A little chaotic to say the least, but alas, daylight is coming through. If anyone is interested, I would so love to share the story of the trip. Please let me know!

It is not the critic that counts; it is the man in the arena… Battling it out… Doing the work…

(Photo creds: Canva)

Don’t you love how something said in 1910 is still true today? You may not be familiar with this speech, so please read it. It’s terrific. It resonates with me considering how our world today seems to be infiltrated with sideline judges.

Granted, most of us do what we can, jump in where we see a need, vote on issues that are important, etc. But we can easily fall victim to those “judges” often hiding behind computer screens. These are the “Monday morning quarterbacks” reporting on how we “should” have navigated whatever the trials of the day may be… Hurricane preparations, actual game day errors, conversations that should have taken a different direction, etc… What we need are those that call out what was done WELL! To focus on what we really desire… EXCELLENCE.

I just LOVE the idea and ACTION of GRIT, of working it out with blood, sweat and yep, tears at times. The key words of GREAT DEVOTIONS, WORTHY CAUSE, DARING GREATLY… are STRONG, RESILIENT, LIFE GIVING, ENERGETIC, and IMPORTANT.

Step into an ongoing effort to build a WORLD OF ENCOURAGEMENT… In your home, work place, school, community… and GET ENGAGED with the GREAT WORK OF BUILDING AN EVEN GREATER WORLD!

A healthy balance is not a 50/50 split

(Photo Creds: We Heart it)

Striking a balance…

This topic is so popular and yet one that continues to mystify the generations. Someone at a bridal shower I attended shared that the secret to a long marriage is not to believe that it is a 50/50 encounter, but one that SHIFTS and CHANGES from season to season, and sometimes from moment to moment.

I recall the sweet older lady saying, “Dear, sometimes it requires 100 percent on your part because he cannot give any at that time, and sometimes you only have to give a bit, because he is carrying the load.”

I’m not sure sure if science would back this up, but I feel that it especially holds true in most relationships… including the one’s we have that compete with one another, work/home, etc.

I use that often as a story when talking to young professionals about their inevitable goal of achieving a healthy work/life balance.

The truth is it’s pretty much the same as the marriage story. At times home requires more for many possible reasons, and sometimes work requires more. It’s just that simple. The greatest disservice we can do to ourselves is to create a narrative in our minds that we are only going to strike a balance that “feels” good all of the time. Defaulting to a 50/50 split is common, and I would say unwise for most of us.

Set yourself up to succeed by creating a healthy mental narrative. Each week try to determine where the “chips may fall” so to speak, and my suggestion is to be transparent with your family, and hopefully in your work place (if at all possible) as to what everyone can expect that week. It’s truly amazing how understanding others are and how much better we all feel when we are honest about where we need to be that week. If you struggle at all with this, please feel free to message me. I absolutely love this topic and would love the opportunity to help if I can!

Top books for the first part of 2017!

Whew! The first four months of 2017 have been a whirlwind and I can’t believe I’ve had time to read at all frankly.

Thankfully I love to read and find that I learn the most about living well and about leadership from some great authors and teachers. As many of you know, I like to share some of those top “reads” along the way. The picture is ALMOST all of them. There were two I gave to others to read (Seven Mile Miracle by Steven Furtick and The Women of Easter by Liz Curtis Higgs). There are also a couple that I bought multiple copies of to gift to others (Own It and The School of Greatness)… They were that good.

Please let me know if you read something I need to grab! Summer is coming soon and hopefully there will be time to take on something new and different. (I usually read one or two fiction books per year and summer is a good time for getting lost in a great story.)

Here are a few of my favorites:

  • All Tim Ferriss books: Tools of Titans, The 4-hour Chef, The 4-Hour body… As you might notice in the picture, his books are the big ones at the bottom. Frankly, he has a lot of great content. But better yet, he knows that content draws individuals in differently and that the ideas aren’t necessarily for everyone. He points this out off of the top and encourages the reader to find the areas that are valuable for them. One of my favorite quotes from the book: “Asking the right dumb questions is often the smartest thing you can do.”  – Alex Blumberg.The encouragement to ask the question everyone wants to ask, but it seems to basic, is called out by one of America’s great entrepreneurs.
  • Own It, Sallie Krawcheck… As mentioned above, I bought multiple copies of this. It may at first seem like a book for just women, but honestly if I were a male leader I’d put it at the top of my list. It’s really just solid advice and offers some great stories to drive them home. The primary message is about finding your purpose in your work. I thought this part was great on the topic of assessing risk as a leader: “When I was running Smith Barney and Merrill Lynch, I made sure that I assessed risk every day. When I was in meetings, I would ask again and again, “What’s the ‘everybody knows ‘ risks? What’s the risk we’re not seeing because we are too to it?”Whether you are a parent, a new grad, a physician or anything else, this is what I call key learnings… We must get really good at this.
  • The School of Greatness, Lewis Howes… If you are a motivation junky go grab this now. If you need to learn some basics on what will help drive you to success, go grab this now. And if you want to diversify your thinking with a contemporary leader who I have no doubt will eventually compete with the Zig Ziglars of my time, then grab this now.Lewis is a good one to follow on Instagram as well, @lewishowes. He was briefly a professional athlete and while sidelined from his dreams, he has not let that defeat him, but rather accelerate his potential. Here’s a part I thought you might like: “GROUNDING: Before I do pretty much anything in life, I like to have what I can a “grounding” moment. I originally experienced this process in sports. Before every game, the coach would prepare us for the battle ahead by getting our thoughts together and putting us in the right frame of mind. I call it getting grounded. This is where I commit myself to my vision, get connected to who I am, and focus on what I’m intending to create in that moment.”

    Good, huh?

  • GRIT, Angela Duckworth… Such a terrific book. This should be on everyone’s required reading before they launch into college. Angela Duckworth is a “pioneering psychologist” who helps crack the code for outstanding achievement by a focus on passion and persistence, aka “GRIT.” A fun excerpt:”There’s an old Japanese saying:  Fall seven, rise eight.  If I were ever to get a tattoo, I’d get these four simple words indelibly inked. GRIT depends on different kinds of hope. It rests on the expectation that our own efforts can improve our future. ‘I have a feeling tomorrow will be better’ is different that ‘I resolve to make tomorrow better.’ The hope that GRITTY people have has nothing to do with luck and everything to do with getting up again.
  • Unshakeable, Tony Robbins with Peter Mallory… (A Kansas City boy!) This is a book that requires ACTION on our part. If you have been following social media, you may know that Tony Robbins – a well-known motivational speaker – is on a campaign to make America smarter and richer. This is his second book in recent years on the topic, and in this one he partners with Peter Mallouk, Creative Planning, who helps us with the topics of risk, fees and in general how to maximize our retirement and savings. There are a lot of good actionable steps that you will want to use… This will give you a good idea:Whether you are a business owner or an employee, you can see how your company’s 401K plan stacks up by using his free online Fee Checker tool. It will analyze your plan and calculate within seconds how much you’re being charged in fees.

The others were terrific as well, but I like to keep those posts short and this one already exceeds my norm. Again, I’d love to hear what you have been reading!

 

Bringing home the language of a strong manager

(Quote in part taken from a tweet from @ValaAfshar)

The original thought on this was the language of a strong manager. That’s true, I think a good leader definitely uses these simple but not always easy statements during a normal week. I have also learned over time that these are true for parents and friends and possibly others I haven’t considered yet. Let’s break it down:

  1. I am proud of you. Pretty straightforward? When is the last time you heard this from your leader? When is the last time if you are a parent you shared this with your children, toddlers to adults? (Shout out to my mom, who just told me that this week.) Lastly, a friend? “Friends are the family we choose,” right? If that’s true, then keep in mind that some friends don’t have family, and you may be the only person that can remind them how they impact you and our world.
  2. I trust our team. This is a little more complex. I do agree a “team” needs to be reminded that the core of a team is trust in one another. Trust built over time and the knowledge that we are in this together can propel teams to heights they never thought possible. I’ve seen that in action many times. This one may not hold as true for a group of friends, but it sure does for family: “I trust that we will get through this stronger, I trust that we are going to create a environment of love and respect in our home.” I don’t know about you, but I think this one needs to be played out more often.
  3. What do you think? Seems pretty obvious to me. I mean, we ask each other if others like our hair, our outfit, our project, etc. Do we think to ask our kids, mom, aunt, friend, what they think about our decisions? Do we include those that may hold us accountable? A favorite quote: “Cater to my success, not my ego,” can likely show up in this conversation. Who do we need to ask this question on something more challenging that might help us achieve the next level of success or happiness?
  4. How can I help? This one probably happens more at home and with our friends. But at work, how often we ask our co-workers how we might ease their load is something to consider.
  5. I was wrong. I am sorry. I have heard others actually say they wouldn’t apologize to their kids. They “are the parent” after all. While that might be true, I personally believe we as parents need to apologize when we show a behavior that we don’t really want our children employing in their lives. Think: raising your voice, walking away from a difficult conversation versus dealing with it directly, etc. This one is HUGE. It’s of course important in every aspect of life, but I think remembering to show our children we are human (at all ages) is important and will result in healthier conversations and families. That’s one perspective at least.

Anything missing? I’m all about getting better, one small step at a time!

Are we acting like circus elephants?

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

I really like CUTE elephants… the childhood imagination type. The ones on the red and white striped ball at the circus, complete with an environment of cotton candy and spinners in hand.

This picture was alarming to me. I wanted it to be cute, but the topic isn’t cute.

I just wrapped up a book by JJ Virgin, ‘The Miracle Mindset.’ She’s best known for diet related books, but this one is different and shares her path with a 16 year old son who nearly died in a tragic accident. It’s a short, inspiring read that gives you another example of how humans are able to overcome in the midst of great pain and enormous hurdles.

In the book, JJ references how we often have beliefs of what we can handle and as a result our lives our limited. I think this is so true. She likened it to the circus elephant who learns while being shackled and in the end truly believe she is not able to get out, staying place by “force of habit.”

What are your limiting beliefs? Do you really think you can only be successful in the job you are in today? That you will get a certain health issue because everyone in your family has by age 60? That you are bound to a path that you aren’t thriving in?

It’s worth your attention. I’m pondering this and would love to hear your thoughts.

Everyone needs a champion

(Photo Creds: We Heart it)

This is such an important message.

One that we should all feel strongly about.

It doesn’t matter if you are young like these sweet girls, in school, starting your career, mid-career or past retirement age. It doesn’t matter if you work or don’t work.  It doesn’t matter what your education is or how awesome your credentials are. One hundred percent of us are happier and more fulfilled when we have a champion – preferably a few!

I didn’t realize it was such a problem until I started a new job four years ago. It was difficult for me to understand that most people I worked with directly went through their days and years (in one case, over 20 years) without a champion. In fact, when asked who their champion was, there was a blank stare as if they didn’t know what a champion was. It was palpable in the culture. I have since then had this conversation with many, and found that our company* was not alone. I also found that many across my social groups also didn’t feel they necessarily had a champion in life. That is just not right. (*Side note: I’m not indicating that the entire company was that way, but pockets within the office.)

I wondered how they progressed… learned… advanced…? I found out that most of them really didn’t… they were stagnant. Sure, business priorities and strategies changed from year to year, but the feeling of thriving, or truly moving toward purpose was non existent for far too many.

It had me thinking. Is it a choice? Do they even know what it feels like to have someone that is an advocate in the work place? Someone that is going to bat for you and helping advance your cause and work? What if you want someone to “champion” you but you don’t know how to ask or where to start? Is that your responsibility, or the company you work for? What if you feel like you maybe could “champion” someone else, but you haven’t done that before and also aren’t quite sure how to start?

So many questions. An issue I never realized was so complicated. I have always been part of a culture that ensured people were supporting/championed. I try to do that at home too. After all, it starts there, right? We all need someone that leads our fan club.

My hope with this post is if you aren’t being championed, you develop a plan to change that. Heck, I’d be glad to help! If you aren’t championing someone outside of your home, I think finding someone that could use your support would be a really great thing to do. Again, it doesn’t matter your age nor situation… giving someone a hand up ends up making more of a difference to you personally.

Finally, if you do happen to be in the work place, please make sure that everyone in your circle has a champion. The culture will be better for it, and that could be a game changer for 2017. I’m all about game changers. Go be a champion!

Revisiting a post from last January – Consider a Comeback

 

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Many consider Lincoln the greatest president in American history. He led the country through its greatest moral and military crisis, essentially saved the country from destruction and directed it toward restoration. Lincoln grew up in meager circumstances, failed at business twice and had what most would call a nervous breakdown. He lost when he ran for Congress, lost twice when he ran for the Senate and lost as a vice presidential candidate. Lincoln was then elected the 16th president of the United States, led the country to reconciliation and won re-election. (Information from the good ole’ Internet – word for word.)

Everyone loves a COMEBACK. Kansas City Royals fans are familiar with comebacks, as our team won the 2015 World Series after losing the 2014 Fall Classic in a heartbreaking game 7. This week, as we are on the topic of “considering” I thought I would share a personal comeback in hopes that it will resonate at some level. Here we go…

To be honest, my personal comeback probably doesn’t fit the dictionary definition of a “comeback,” but to me the word describes my story perfectly. So here it is… Nearly three years ago (now four). I left my career of leading what is considered by many (and for sure me!) Kansas City’s premier medical practice. Leaving was SO HARD, but I felt called to join Humana, which is where I am today. (I’d be happy to share offline the details of that with anyone who wants to hear it,) Just know that it was definitely a calling, or else I wouldn’t have considered leaving. The people I worked with and the mission we served was AMAZING.

Since I felt that I was supposed to be in this new role I had this crazy expectation (That may very well become a new blog post… rereading this brings forth the idea of how do we even get these “crazy expectations,” and how can we temper or address them) that the experience was going to immediately be incredible. I was going to pop in and get to work, add value to the company and grow professionally. I was seriously shocked that it didn’t play out that way at first. It felt like I landed in an unfamiliar city, half-way around the world, without knowing the language, the landmarks, or really anything that I could understand, let alone contribute to- As you all probably know by now, it is REALLY important for us all to feel that we are doing meaningful work, contributing at our highest level!

I struggled and learned, navigated new waters and created some new pathways. The experience was one I wasn’t familiar in my career, and one that I am not sure I want to experience again. At almost the two year mark (note: patience is not my greatest strength) the path finally became more clear. (update: I still don’t have a good amount of patience and the path is clear on most days…) I had a new leader which was a key factor, but more importantly I was finally contributing and bringing value to the team and company at a level I was comfortable with. To me, this was a MAJOR comeback.

One important part of this story is that I stuck it out. I’m still sticking it out. When you know you are supposed to be somewhere, whether it’s a relationship, a career, a healthy living path, or anything else it is important to be obedient and stick with it, but most importantly, to MAKE the COMEBACK that helps you get to where you feel you are MAKING A DIFFERENCE.

COMEBACKS are IMPORTANT. Do you have a comeback story? Maybe you are in the middle of one? It’s HARD, but the HUMILITY factor grows, and that my friends, is a critical character quality to hone!

Why we must be on the look out to STEAL GREAT IDEAS

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(Photo Creds: The Robinhood Foundation, NYC)

Just 2 years after I graduated from high school, successful business man Paul Tudor Jones founded the Robin Hood foundation in NYC with a goal to improve the lives of those who live in poverty.

For 28 years now, the organization has been at it in a unique way, combining investment principles and philanthropy to find, fund and create programs that support their goal. Over time they have expanded to also support relief efforts, such as those needed with Hurricane Sandy. According to last year’s estimates, giving to this foundation provides a 15:1 return on investment, which is significant and a place that donors can feel good about. The key statement in all of that to me, is that they CREATE…solutions, ideas, programs that move toward their mission.

I chose this topic today, because the idea of being innovative is always top of mind for me. One of my personal philosophies has always been to be “ON ALERT FOR GREAT IDEAS.” If you take time to look around – especially outside of your own industry, family or environment – you can count on being INSPIRED and even yes, STEAL THOSE IDEAS and CREATE YOUR OWN from that seed that was planted.

Our communities need all of the INNOVATION that we can create in order to solve the problems and issues of today. I encourage you to embrace this idea, keep your eyes and ears open and MAKE AN IMPACT. If you get some extra time, explore Robin Hood’s website, it’s a cool story.