To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Joy

The original “OGs” and paying it forward. Happy birthday, boys!

Happy 23rd, boys! I guess a benefit of the blog is I have the opportunity to reflect on personal experiences from time to time. As many of you know, I was blessed with triplet boys 23 years ago. This seems like both a short time, and simultaneously an absolutely full 23 years.

I sent one of my boys a message earlier this weekend noting that it was “the big 23” – his “Lebron Birthday.” He quickly replied, “Come on Mom, it is the OG Jordan birthday year.” (LOL!) I had no idea what OG meant until I Googled it (it’s “original gangster,” if you’re lost like me).

Bottom line: This is a fun time in their lives and I am grateful for every moment. I feel like I learn so much every day, and that this season is as important as the next.

New chapters, marriage (Sam is getting married in July), stepping into new careers, etc… So many “firsts” and so much “adulting” that it seems all together more intimidating than the innocent years of stepping into middle school or the first homecoming dance.

I have been literally smitten from the day they told me I was pregnant with “twins,” and then to find that third heartbeat… completely saturated in unending love. Each of them are growing into strong men of faith, which has been my prayer over each of them every night since I can remember.

Courage, bravery, perseverance, integrity, humility, generosity, kindness… Each year, each of them displaying growth in one area and seemingly passing the baton to the other to build upon, and back around the circle for continued growth. I continue to find myself observing, admiring and standing in total awe of this transformation, and I can easily say this has been my greatest privilege and honor.

I hope today that anyone reading this will take a moment to honor those that God has blessed them with: Be it a family member, a friend, colleague neighbor, teacher, or acquaintance. I believe we have all been entrusted with a circle of people who want to take care of each other the best way we know how. What a gift that is.

My boys amazed me this week by telling me that they were trying to do what they did when they were younger, which is to give to others on their birthday. In celebration of their birthday, and for whom we love, we should all go out and pay it forward this week. Be it paying for the person behind you in a drive-thru, offering a Texas-sized hug, or some other act of kindness. Giving back is one of the best ways to serve well!

Happiest of birthdays to my young men! Your presence in this world makes everyone’s life brighter. I don’t take lightly the gift God has given me. I don’t always have the answers, and I don’t always get it right, but I will always love you deeply, respect you, and honor each of you.

Go ahead… Drop some balls

The New York Times on Sunday had a terrific article titled, Work-Life Balance is a Myth, by Tiffany Dufu. I loved the approach in the article, driven around answering the hard question of “what really matters?”

I sometimes think of this as “what is my Best Yes?” which I stole from the namesake of Lysa TerKeurst’s book. So what does this mean? It means asking: Do I really need to go to that social gathering after work? Do I really want to stay out late on Friday, ( or would I rather have a robust Saturday morning?) Should I take the time to pick out a meaningful card for a dear friend’s birthday, or can I wing it and buy one on the way to the party? What is the best use of my time right now – a walk in nature to clear my head or jumping on another call to push through on being more productive?

There are no wrong answers. What is best for you, at this present time in your life, is what matters.

Here’s an excerpt from the article that I found to be both a simple and meaningful way to start figuring this out …

“– try this visualization exercise adapted from the book, ‘The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People’ (Side note: That book is a classic must-read. In fact, I would go as far to say it should be required high school or college reading.)

Imagine three people eulogizing you at your funeral. What would they say about you? What do you hope they would say about you? Write this down.

Now, ask yourself: Are you on the path to becoming the person they describe? If not, maybe you’re not putting your energy into what’s the most important to you.”

Here’s where the “drop the ball” idea rolls in: Once you know what really matters to you, you can assess your current calendar and how your time and energy are being saturated. Once you do this, it all begins to come together, and somehow… magically, you can then take a discerning look at how you are investing your time and decide which balls you can – or rather should – drop. (If you are like me… there are atleast a few… let’s call them, “mis-prioritized” balls.)

What balls can you drop? Hopefully over the next few days you get a smile on your face when you purposely decide to drop a ball or two. Your joy and wellness are sure to accelerate when you do.

Have the best weekend!

What is your joy game plan?

“THE LAKE...” – One of the all time best places in the world. Who doesn’t love that feeling when you pull into your vacation destination (even if it’s just a weekend)? Unpacking the car, the snacks, the books/magazines, pool or lake side supplies… That alone gives me joy. The thought of after a long day on the water, (any water), with beach towels hanging over the deck, or strewn across the room… It also, gives me a rush of happiness.

But what about that good-tired feeling where everyone just collapses to watch some simple but fun comedy, or perhaps play a game or some cards if that’s how your tribe rolls? So refreshing!

Summer is prime time for a change up of routine. A time to set apart some time for seeking joy, fun and adventure. A time to shake off the daily grind and those things that can, at times, add up to stress that’s not serving you. (Yes, scientists do say, that stress does in fact serve us… more on that in another post.)

It is the perfect season of the year to bring back your favorite childhood memories. Mine revolve around the lake. Where do you find yourself smiling just thinking about those moments? A dear friend who I love, recently told me that hers were around long road trips across the country with her family, camper in tow, spontaneously stopping at super-cool, sometimes-random spots across the United States. I loved that and could immediately visualize the joy.

Before we get too deep into the summer, if you haven’t already I hope that you will put together your “joy game plan.” Whether it’s a staycation, a weekend full of lake hopping around our many beautiful local parks, or a longer trip… The only rule is to make sure it refreshes your soul. There is huge power in that. I would even call it a game-changer for you and those you love.

“A change of pace plus a change of place equals a change of perspective.””

– Mark Batterson

Perspective often improves our path, including generating massive creativity and better decision making.

Have the best wrap to your week, and an amazing weekend. If you have time, I know everyone would love to hear your “joy game plan” via the comments. It just might inspire someone and create a ripple.

We are meant to be together!

Is there any species better than dogs to remind us that we were intended to be together? I have come to truly enjoy the dog park, and watching the dogs just love each other’s company!

We were built to be in a community… Meant to spend time with those who make us better.

As summer kicks off, and you begin to think through your weekends, my encouragement is to give some thought to who would make this your best summer ever. Who could influence for the better? Think through it and make it happen. I know I have some friends I want to connect with over a drink, a long talk on the deck or a local patio, or wherever really! Summer is fun like that… so many opportunities.

Who’s that one person (or group of people) you shared some of the best days of your life with but haven’t seen in years? Call them today and get it on the books!

Throwback! This post is an oldie but a goodie. I hope you enjoy!

Cultivate something that brings joy

Rewind! This is an adapted post from 2017. Happy Easter weekend!

I love the idea of community gardens. If you aren’t familiar, community gardens are managed by groups of people, generally to meet a community’s needs. Sometimes that need is because the area is in a food desert and other times it’s education. No matter the reason, it is a positive initiative that brings great value, and improves health and happiness.

A few years ago, our church did a sermon series around the idea of “cultivate,” which got me thinking about areas in my life where cultivation is needed.

“Cultivate” has a double meaning. One is about preparing and using land for crops or gardening. We do this by tilling, plowing, fertilizing, mulching, watering, weeding… the type of hard work that community gardeners know all too well. The second meaning is to “acquire or develop” a quality, sentiment or skill. (Also hard work)

The two definitions are connected.

At the time, I associated the series with the word “joy”. This association struck me as an area I needed to focus on during that season of my life… to develop … cultivate if you will. I’m sure you know by now that I consider joy to be important. I feel so strongly that JOY is something we can have but that it often requires cultivating, especially during hard seasons.

You might have an area of your life that you want to cultivate, and I encourage you to pursue that. I am hopeful some of you will join me in generating some joy in our homes, neighborhoods and workplaces! What can you do today to elevate and cultivate joy? This is a terrific weekend to do just that!

EXHALE – Getting to Fresh life and fresh thinking

Exhale (verb) – “She sat back and exhaled deeply.”

What a terrific thought! I attended a session in high school where we learned to “breathe in any stresses” that we were experiencing, and then “breathe them out.” Then we “breathed in only good and positive thoughts.” It was powerful, and I often still use that tool. Today, we call this (in part) meditation, and it’s something we all should concentrate on developing.

If you are like me, sometimes you are driving down the highway with a list of challenges, ideas and thoughts in your head. Some are good, some not so much. Becoming aware of this and learning to breathe through it can and will be a game changer for your mental (and ultimately physical) health.

What is also really cool, is that if you can remember this, you will find your mind has more time for clear thinking, which brings you to innovation and the ability to create. With spring in play, what a great time to take it all in – the sunnier days, the blooming flowers and the overall essence of fresh life and fresh thinking.

I’m cheering you on… EXHALE!

Love BIG today – and every moment you can!

A day set aside for love. A day to shine your love in a brighter way. A moment in time, to go big and to take the time to share how much people you surround yourself with mean to you. I believe we must go beyond tradition and reach outside of the obvious and ensure love is felt all around.

Today can be hard for some people. Instead, we should all be sure to make sure we do what we can to level up our approach. Who may not hear from someone today? Who may be really facing some tough parts of life, and need an extra dose of true love? I always loved the kid Valentine’s Day party, because everyone was included… That is exactly what we should be doing this year and every year!

Let’s all go spread some love!

By the way – I love you all for reading these little messages. My goal is to always inspire one person and yet, after each post, I am the one that feels love in the process. Thank you all for loving well.

Let’s not lose the power of play

Don’t you just love this guy? I have a friend and mentor, Dr. Keith Jantz, who not only looks a tad like this cool guy, but I honestly think we could find him rocking a hula hoop! He was always jumping into the annual musical chairs “experience” (those of you who were there, know for sure it was an experience), and the one who was up for almost any shenanigans the team could dream up. I want to be like Dr. Jantz.

As my boys have gotten older and are now mostly out of the day to day routine of my life, I feel like I’ve lost this a bit. I just wrapped up an excellent book called ‘Joyful’ by Ingril Fetell Lee, that spurred me to bring this up to the top of the list again. After sharing this idea with a few colleagues, I know that most of us can use the reminder.

Play is powerful. We were designed to play. As children, we were able to dive into play the majority of our waking hours. As time goes on, we actually start to feel a bit self conscious about wanting to play. After all, adulting is serious business. Some of today’s companies have done a good job of drawing out “play” by adding a ping pong table to their offices or something similar. As it turns out, play brings joy into our lives and, in fact, is vital for problem solving, creativity and relationships, according to Scott Eberle, M.D. That’s reason enough to incorporate it into our lives.

In another book, ‘Play,’ by Stuart Brown, M.D., he compares play to oxygen. Brown has spent decades studying the power of play in everyone from prisoners to business people to artists to Nobel Prize winners. For instance, he found that playing together helped couples rekindle their relationship and explore other forms of emotional intimacy. As many of you who have had a team outing know, play can facilitate connections between strangers or those you don’t know well.

In his book, Brown offers a few ideas for us on the idea of play:

  1. Change how you think about play – Give yourself permission to play or be playful every day.
  2. Take a play history – What did you like to do as a child? How can you re-create that today? (For me, swinging, tetherball, kickball, tossing the football… What are some of yours?)
  3. Surround yourself with playful people – And then, of course, schedule some time to play together (Who wants to go Ax-throwing? I so want to do this!)
  4. Play with little ones – Watch and soak in how magical that is!

As you go into your weekend, now is the time to make PLAY an ACTIVE part of our lives! Let’s jump in and create some FUN this weekend.

It’s time to spread joy

“It’s time to spread joy” is one of my favorite go-to concepts in the workplace.

It’s a reminder I started years ago (no doubt borrowing the idea from some brilliant person.) to ensure we were all aware of how the days can go by without recognizing those around us who are shining brightly during the day to day grind. On a routine basis, sending out a friendly reminder for everyone to take a few minutes to reach out, thank, or otherwise acknowledge at least 3 people is all it takes to seriously elevate the world around you.  

It occurred to me, that I haven’t done it lately, and that this can be done really as a solo act. I think I’ll put a reminder in my phone to do just this every week or two. It is a basic human need to want to achieve purpose. For someone to take a moment to throw a virtual “confetti” parade by sharing a few kind words  on someone’s behalf is a game changer not only for them but for the energy it provides you and the environment. 

In this busy season, I hope that JOY is spread all around our communities, in homes, work places, and everywhere you find yourself.  

Be fully awake to the present

Today is the opportunity we have been granted.

This month is a great time to recommit and be fully awake to what is going on around us, and be completely open to living in the moment.

Tom Peters has a thought that “Excellence is the next 5 seconds…”

I want to be excellent. I want to be IN this moment, not OUTSIDE of it.

I want to be fully aware of the lights on the tree, the anticipation from the children for the holiday festivities, the tears that are hidden behind my friends smile, the extra-tight hug that shows a friend needs a little extra support right now… all of it.

I want to be fully awake. Don’t you?

I believe that if we can get better in this area, we will be closer to being fully alive.

Who’s with me on this?