To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Joy

The hardest job you will ever love: Mother’s Day

Sitting here preparing to write, I was a bit perplexed on where to focus – and then I fell upon Ann’s blog, which is simply magical if you ask me. I have so many authors I love, but Ann Voskamp has one of the most incredibly impactful & poetic voices of our generation. Here are some quotes on this topic of motherhood that truly are profound… good conversation starters (if you will) for today’s blog post.

“Parenting is never about how your kids turn out. It’s always and only about how you keep turning toward your kids and their Maker.”

She urges us to keep “turning toward.” I love that. My interpretation… to turn in, to lean in, to listen and take it ALL deep into our souls. (Try is really what I mean… try to listen to understand). To experience the full onset of the messy days and celebratory moments is really what motherhood is all about, isn’t it? It’s literally ALL of it: the tough conversations, the midnight hours of fever and illness, the conflict, the sitting together silently waiting for someone to speak, and sometimes shared tears (or silent tears). And of course the very best parts – the dancing in the kitchen or on wedding reception floors, traveling & experiencing our world together, the car rides to practice, the curbside coaching moments and the bedtime rituals that fill our homes with love. The most critical to me: the constant refocus of myself and the boys to their Maker. I have found that to be the single element of truth in everything good and every struggle. Re-centering…often daily on God somehow brings it all forward as growth and goodness if we allow it.

“The work of every parent is to give the best they know how now, and the work of every child is to forgive their parents the best they can now.”

Does that just resonate? We as parents do what we think is best in the moment. Sometimes we know within minutes it was not our most shining moment, and sometimes we don’t know until years later that our words or actions were an epic fail. Nevertheless, we live out the days truly trying to do the best with what we have in that moment, be it knowledge, resources or emotional capacity. Someday our kids will understand that… but not quite yet. We live in that gap generally.

And then there is this part of the child forgiving “the best they can now.” Here’s the thing I love about that statement, “The best they can now:” We all… in every time of our lives, have certain levels of capacity to forgive, to give, to love, to whatever. Our capacity ebbs and flows and is largely dependent on the strength of our spiritual life in that season of our lives. We must remember that we all do what we can for the most part. Forgiveness, therefore is essential for both the parent and child. Grace – early and often!

“Motherhood is never about training your children to be so good they won’t ever fall, it’s about letting them see you fall in love every day with a good God.”

If I don’t do anything else in my life as a mother, and hopefully some day a grandmother, I hope that they will see me fall in love every day with a good God. It’s something I am committed to and fully believe that all levels of good, stressful, scary and beautiful moments can be worked thru if we all stay focused on this truth. Being focused on God is central to Motherhood for me so far…. directing and redirecting ourselves and our children in the ways we know how.

Offering deep thanks today for my mother who in this season is the very best cheerleader and spiritual supporter. Also so much love to the many mother figures I have had in my life. God has always provided the most amazing women to step in and meet me right where I needed their love and support and I am forever grateful. If you get a moment today, reaching out to some of those would be a truly wonderful things for us all to do! Sending love to you all.

Entering 2022 with a spirit of JOY

I can’t even! I am so over the moon still about the wedding earlier this month, and I can’t keep smiling. JOY.

I made a note a few weeks ago that I wanted to blog about “entering” a state of joy. It seems so powerful to me, this idea of entering… No matter what is going on in our lives, we have so much to be grateful for. So much joy literally outside our window, in the next room, or a call away. Throughout the year we get beat up a bit, start to feel weary from the activity and the noise, and we often can’t seem to pull away from that feeling. Starting in November, we circle the calendars for Thanksgiving. and somehow turn our minds toward the joy of life.

Here’s a thought: What if we entered every single day in 2022 with joy?

Sure, not every day, year or even decade brings us a wedding, a birth or some other major celebration, but EVERY SINGLE DAY there is so much good to be found. (And YES, sometimes WE HAVE TO BRING IT!)

I have often talked in the blog about the power of a pre-decision. Pretty much everything from building a healthier emotional life or staying disciplined to a physical wellness routine is dependent on if we have made a strong decision and commitment to that practice. So, I believe that we can and SHOULD call out 2022 as the YEAR OF JOY. Entering every room we walk into with the intention of finding and sharing JOY. Bringing a heart of sincere gratitude to our days… quietly starting our mornings with a renewed promise to ourselves to OWN the JOY around us.

I know it sounds a bit over the top, but goodness, after 2020 and 2021, we need an ENERGY SHIFT and that is going to take some crazy joy. Remember flash mobs a few years ago? Those impromptu singing & dance performances where people have fun? SO COOL! Let’s bring those back!

Who’s on this JOY TRAIN with me? I’d love to break down anything that’s been holding us back and doing it with each other is, well, THE BEST! TOGETHER ALWAYS MAGNIFIES.

Sending love and JOY to you all on this third week of ADVENT which just happens to be the JOY CANDLE!

Don’t miss the present –– the now

Today is the opportunity we have been granted.

This month is a great time to recommit and be fully awake to what is going on around us, and be completely open to living in the moment.

Tom Peters has a thought that “Excellence is the next 5 seconds…”

I want to be excellent. I want to be IN this moment, not OUTSIDE of it.

I want to be fully aware of the lights on the tree, the anticipation from the children for the holiday festivities, the tears that are hidden behind my friends smile, the extra-tight hug that shows a friend needs a little extra support right now… all of it.

I want to be fully awake. Don’t you?

I believe that if we can get better in this area, we will be closer to being fully alive.

Who’s with me on this?

(Rewind! This is a throwback post that felt like just what we needed right now.)

Creating a joy list: It just may help you rethink how you invest your energy

I love inspirational thoughts and that often happens when people share their stories and experiences. Podcasts are a great venue for receiving this type of motivation for me. Brené Brown always seems to come through with some deep thinking that leaves me feeling the need to share it with you all... (just in case you don’t listen to her quite yet, I highly recommend her podcast, “Unlocking Us”.)

Last week, she shared that her and her husband created a joy list, and that the process was much harder than they realized. ( To me… this sounds fun after all… hard seemed at odds with that….) She shared that their best moments consisted of experiences such as cooking dinner together. I understand that, because a simple trip to the Saturday Farmer’s market would definitely top my list. They then thought through what she referred to as their “acquisitions” and “accomplishments”...The lists didn’t align, and this is where “hard” came in- an honest conversation that created some new thinking and a change of direction.

Think about purchases you make that are on your “this will make me happy list.” Like, a new sofa, a new outfit, etc., and of course degrees, careers, and so on. For her and her husband, those lists didn’t look the same. Even though it may have been a life-long goal to achieve something or to buy or acquire something, those things didn’t make the “joy list.” Not all together surprising, but yet important. It left me wondering how mine would line up.

While I realize that an acquisition for example can bring joy… (a beautiful and comfy sofa can make me quite happy actually) – it is important to recognize that what delivers true joy may be in conflict with all of the focus we bring to obtaining, seeking, acquiring. It is quite possible that a shift toward those “value creation” moments that weave together and create our best days… and ultimately our best lives is the best use of our energy.

This project may in fact be worthwhile for you to do individually, or with your family. No question the investigation itself will provide you valuable insights. What creates the most joy? Let’s do MORE of that, and align our time, resources and energy around building lives of joy.

Celebrating the little things

I want to throw it back a little bit to an old post, but with a new spin for you. Back in August 2017, I talked about how important it is to celebrate the little things. In fact, I said so in the context of the eclipse!

But three years later, this concept feels even more relevant, as we all are looking for little silver linings amid what sometimes feels like chaos. I personally need to do a better job of celebrating small moments.

I actually used to always have a bottle of pink champagne in my refrigerator to have on hand to celebrate the little things in the lives of our family, neighbors and colleagues. My friend and blog helper, Ashley, tells me that she has a system to celebrate the small wins: She buys champagne, and tapes a piece of paper with a goal onto it. When she hits the goal, she pops the bottle. How cool?

How else can we make celebrating easy and top of mind? What do you do? Share them with the rest of us so we can adapt and adopt!

Celebrating is a gift we have on hand every day and week if we choose to use it! Seeking out the good in life is a key to happiness and to a life of serving others and yourself well.

The pursuit of happiness: The power of multiplication and our daily habits

Most of us know the drill. One push-up leads to two, and so, on as we build our strength.

I just finished a fantastic book, ‘The Slight Edge,’ which helped me understand why we don’t always choose to take the small steps necessary to achieve the life we desire. The bottom line is that it is easy to make the decision to do the one push-up (or make that tough call, or choose greens over fries, or take a walk versus watching that next episode, and so on) and it is also easy to NOT do it!

In fact, a shocking 95 percent of Americans choose the easy route – the path of least resistance. The path that doesn’t leave us with the money in the bank we hoped for, or the healthy energy we long for, or the depth of relationships we need to thrive. Ninety-five percent! (This book is a few years old so maybe we have gotten better!)

One of my favorite chapters focused on happiness, and what can we do to pursue happiness. Here are a few of the thoughts he shared:

  1. Train your brain toward the positive, small moments of joy. Create a habit of writing three of these down daily. Be vigilant and watch yourself change toward being and thinking more positively!
  2. Become focused on the details of what made those experiences positive. Write down (is as much detail possible) the positive experience-one every 24 hours. “I walked by a house that had the most beautiful flowers… it’s as if the owner meticulously guarded them day in and day out to ensure we could walk by and be refreshed by something beautiful.”
  3. Yep, this is super easy and I’m sure you expect it: Integrate a small act of kindness into each day. My fav is writing an email to someone’s boss or leader to raise the frequency of positivity throughout every path you are on. Your kind drive-thru worker or barista would so love that positive nod.

So much truth to the simple. Here’s to a week of pursuing happiness. Let’s be dealers of happy. Let’s raise our energy in this area and watch what happens. Personal growth will abound… I’m confident of that at minimum!

The power of curiosity

I love kids. Their laughs are the best, and their questions are incredible. Some studies show that kids ask an average of 40,000 questions between ages 2 and 5. That’s 200-300 per day. (via Berger)

How many questions did you ask yesterday? The estimate for most adults is 20. (Quora) To me, curiosity is a key to great happiness and success in life. Nurturing our curiosity is a springboard for growth and knowledge, and I have always found the theory that “knowledge = power” to be more than true.

It seems like a really great time to IGNITE our curiosity. On Saturday, I had the chance to enjoy the late afternoon sunshine and explore a local park. Nature has so much to teach us and I found myself feeling a bit childlike again at the wonder of Spring… new life in bloom from the animals to the plants. What fun it is to see so many people and families connecting through nature during this time. For kids of all ages, curiosity provides the following:

  • Helps us to be better problem solvers
  • Helps us overcome our fears (“Hey, is that snake venomous? Is it safe to hold it?”)
  • Helps us develop empathy when we focus on asking and clarifying versus judging
  • Leads to humility
  • Creates a higher level of self awareness as we question our own whys, beliefs, and consider if there are other options we should consider

On the business side of things, making the case for developing a culture of curiosity is a game-changer for organizations that embrace the curiosity super power. In a stellar article, “The Business Case for Curiosity,” Fracesca Gino points out that cultivating curiosity at all levels helps leaders and their employees adapt to uncertain market conditions and external pressures. (Hello, COVID-19!) “When our curiosity is triggered, we think more deeply and rationally about decisions and come up with more creative solutions.” 

I particularly loved this quote from former Google CEO, Eric Schmidt: “We run this company on questions, not answers.” 

Above almost all actions we can take in today’s world, we need the fuel of questions to ensure we approach new challenges with rigor and fresh thinking. My thought is that we should use this time to raise the game on our own curiosity, look around and fill in the gaps, and serve one another in new ways. (And hey, I just realized its Earth Day on the day this posts…. what a wonderful way to honor this beautiful world by bringing forward a desire to learn all we can about its wonders!)

Revel in it all!

I so love this idea: REVEL IN IT. Although “revel” in itself means to celebrate in a “lively” way, to me it doesn’t necessarily have to be about being lively, but rather in living out the full expression of joy or pleasure in something.

Think about that for a minute. What does it look like to find true pleasure in life? With all of it’s twists and turns, like a roller coaster… at times exhilarating – think celebrating big moments, new babies, new jobs, new homes, a big win at work, a friend that made your day with an act of kindness, a gift of a genuine compliment – and at times a stomach-churning dip – think of all that yucky stuff that can disarm you, like a virus sticking around too long, heartbreak, or a bad decision. Generally, most get off of the ride with a big ole’ smile and a certain energy. Perhaps you’re happy you endured and didn’t puke (sorry, but let’s be real!). Or maybe you really felt the fun and scary come together for a great experience.

I’m not sure if the roller coaster analogy works for everyone, but the key point is that life should be revered, and reveling in all it has to offer is a choice. The alternative, of course, is to be a cynic and find the opposite of pleasure – pain, anguish, suffering, torment. (Ouch!) When you lay it out like that, it seems obvious that reveling is not just important, but necessary for our mental health game, which eventually translates into our physical health.

Today, I hope you will take stock of life’s many gifts, even those that aren’t what you would have chosen. Together, they unite to create lives that are worthy and purposeful and create the fabric of JOY that makes it all beautiful.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Be God-struck, own your joy (A lesson from our own KC Chiefs!)

This super fun celebration photo on Instagram showcases pure joy and owning the moment. Did you know that God truly wants us to be explosive in our joy? I just love that. Sometimes I hear people say that the Bible is too serious and doesn’t apply to life as we know it in this generation. I have to challenge that because even Jesus, when he walked on earth, was a party-goer early and often. Dining with friends, family and community and celebrating in many scriptures. After all, he had a tremendous story to live out and it was worth a full expression of joy.

In Psalms, which is a great place to start if you haven’t ever dived into the Bible, there are so many references to this truth. I love Psalm 126, which helps us see joy played out. The best part is that it is not imposed joy. It is not for one person, it is not for the naturally joyful, but for all of us. It is found when our lives are tethered to God’s and a deep knowing that joy isn’t found in vacations, new clothes, the latest technology… or whatever we like to think will fill us up.

I love that Patrick Mahomes and other team members realize this and use their platform in a humble way. Patrick has not been shy about sharing his faith, and has been clear that he’s not putting on a show for Chiefs Kingdom, but that he’s playing for God.

“Obviously I want to win every game, but I’m glorifying Him every single time I’m out there,” he said this week on the road to Miami. His ability to bring this energy to the team and to a world-wide stage is beyond powerful. I for one, absolutely love that he is able to be both God struck and joyful, both in the grit and the glory.

I believe we should all play out our days with that exact mentality and focus. In fact, I’m praying right now that we will do just that! Let’s bring our best self to every project, conversation and effort and be God-struck and own our own joy along the way!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Finding joy with childlike abandon

So… what will it be?

The freeing sensation of swinging as high as you can, creating enough energy for the wind to push through your hair, that exhilarating feeling in your tummy when you drop – fully alive.

The sense of discovery in a sandbox – digging, building, imagining your next move, making your vision come to life.

Oh, the monkey bars. Revealing your strength as you leap from one bar to the next… maybe even skipping over one or two to exercise your true superpowers.

I love the idea of finding joy with childlike abandon. The very thought of the playground experience makes me smile.

The holidays provide an opportunity for true joy and also very real stress… From clearing our to-do lists and calendars, to the hustle required in preparation to make it perfect for our loved ones.

I felt like this was a really great time to remind everyone to find time to play, whatever that looks like for you. Perhaps we should all make a commitment to enter this season with this very notion of childlike abandon. Incorporating play and exploring the moments as a child would, finding joy and accomplishment wherever the world might take us in any given day.