To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Inspiration

Wonder is our birthright… but is risk?

I was sitting in the Ford dealership waiting for my oil change to be done when I overheard a few men chatting it up. One guy was a pastor somewhere close by, and was sharing that he had preached a sermon Sunday called, “Being at Risk.” My ears perked up.

He talked about the fact that when we are young we start on a bicycle, and that is a risk. Then we go out into the world, where we face many challenges, obstacles, and yep, more risks. My mind took its own spin on this narrative, thinking of how true his statement was. It’s risky to live in the world by nature. It’s risky to love someone, it’s risky to even adopt a pet and find yourself on never-ending parenting duty as the puppy learns to potty outside and not bite and chew on your beloved shoes and furniture. But, without the risk, would we have wonder? Even in this picture I picked for today’s blog: As a young child, it probably feels risky to grab your first lightening bug and feel it wiggle in their palm.

The world is full of risk –– and wonder.

I always share with my peers at work that as long as we go into the day and certain situations with our “eyes wide open,” and have a full view of what is coming at us, that together we can overcome anything. My mantra is “no surprises.” Being aware of both the good and the potential risks ahead is critical. Having a positive attitude is a must have, but I would say that surrounding yourself with others that have a unified vision and can show up strong… that’s the most important part.

We have a lot of wonder around us right now. We have a whole lot of opportunity to look around, take it in, rally and build our teams, and get to work finding the wonder. Sure, there is risk. Sure, there are going to be challenging and courageous conversations. There will likely be sweat and maybe tears involved. But, it will quite possibly move us toward wonder. (My mind goes to skydiving. Surely there is so much wonder after the jump to take in!)

A shout out to that pastor for telling his story. As you can see, I couldn’t help but take what I overheard and run with it. I love the thought circuit that we are all at-risk in this life. But to me, that risk is where wonder is created.

Have the best week. My son gets married on Saturday and the beauty in that is incredible. I cannot wait to share pictures later! Sending love and big joy to you all.

Wants versus needs

Throwing it back to another one of my #HeardOnPeloton posts from last summer. This feels really important right now. With July just days away, many of us are trying to figure out how to safely sneak in a vacation, a road trip, or anything that gives us time to decompress before the next school year. And we’re doing all of this in the face of so much unknown and anxiety.

Now more than ever, we need to look inward and really get in sync with what our minds and bodies are saying they need –– not just want.

Take care of yourself, friends. Cheering you on!

What are your daily rituals of excellence?

If you want to lead an epic life – a life of purpose – we know that you need to incorporate steadfast daily rituals that help you achieve your best self. You could argue that a routine is more important now more than ever, as our “normal” is turned upside down. Today felt like the right time to adapt this particularly-relevant post from a few years ago!

I am a sucker for any book, article or speaker that offers me ideas of what may be worth adding to my routine. So today, I am sharing 13 of my daily rituals. That’s my lucky number so it had to be 13. Hopefully some of these resonate for you!

  1. Get moving. My grandmother used to always say, “You have to get up, even if you don’t feel like it.” So get moving!
  2. Incorporate greens into every meal, if possible. Yep, I am even throwing a few with some lemon vinaigrette next to my morning meal.
  3. Drink lots of water! I carry my water bottle everywhere!
  4. Use dishes you love. I had a local potter (Erica Iman of Urban Potters) make my plates, bowls and mugs for the house. I got the idea from a hotel I was visiting for business. They served up a simple dish in a super cool bowl and I loved it. I realized that something as boring a salad or bowl of soup can be special if you know it was made by hand by someone who loves their craft. That is a gift to me.
  5. Spend time in nature. A walk with my dog is my personal favorite, but any time outdoors is the goal. Some days it may even just be rolling the windows down in the car and enjoying the breeze.
  6. Start the day by reading from the Bible. I have done this for many, many years now and I am still learning and growing.
  7. Learn. I incorporate learning into my life anytime I can. If I’m not reading, it could be a podcast while I’m driving or walking. I can’t get enough.
  8. Send an encouraging message to a friend or colleague.
  9. Try to catch the sunset and snap a picture if possible!
  10. Read and relax. I almost always end my day with a bath and take time to read. This time to unwind and get out of my head is just what the doctor ordered to sleep well!
  11. Listen to music. I need to learn to listen to it more, because I love it. There is nothing like throwing on some Kenny Chesney, Fleetwood Mac, Boston, Hillsong, Elevation Music, Lionel Richie, Alicia Keys, John Mayer, etc. It can shift your energy on the spot.
  12. Positive social media talk! I am very intentional about keeping my social media feeds positive. I unfollow those who aren’t consistently positive and thoughtful.
  13. Pray. I believe all prayer forms are great, but I personally want to work to go deeper and truly connect through prayer.

Your turn! I’d love to hear some of yours, so please, drop a few in the comments!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?

Happy Sunday! It’s Memorial Day weekend and no doubt most of us are thrilled to have an extra day off for rest and refreshment. It is good to remember that Memorial Day is designated for us to honor those who lost their lives serving in active military duty. Many also use this day to celebrate loved ones that have gone on before us. The occasion sometimes brings solace and sometimes brings loved ones around the dinner table via backyard BBQs.

What is most important this year – and every year – to me is that we focus on what is beautiful and honorable in this one life we have. Those moments that are made possible because of the sacrifices of those who paved the way for this generation.

I wrote this phrase down a few weeks ago, and it likely came from a podcast or someone pushing others toward inspiration.:“What is the most beautiful thing you have EVER seen?” I have held onto it for a bit, feeling that there are so many ways to answer the question. My mind went to the depth of our country, of those serving and protecting us. It then went easily to Greece and the almost unbelievable beauty of the water and white buildings and then to a myriad of options – my grandparents holding hands while walking into church, babies and toddlers giggling non-stop, fields of flowers and nature trails leading to the water… I could go on for hours. After some thought, I chose the image above. 

The picture is from our family mission trip to South Africa in 2012 led by the One Life organization. This is of my son and a beautiful child he was playing with. The look on his face is beautiful. The moment was beautiful. This is what joy looks like to me – unbounded joy is beautiful. It’s the most beautiful thing no doubt.

We went because I wanted to expose my boys to different cultures. However, I am 100% sure the greatest impact was on me. I could not get the scripture, “The harvest is plenty, the worker’s are few,” out of my mind for months and it still pops up frequently. Always pushing me to ask myself if what I am even doing is enough. There is so much work to do both inside of our country and outside, but the contrast in true need can only be found by firsthand interaction with other cultures. This work is an opportunity for all of us to find, seek and create beauty. To serve one another. 

Today we honor those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. We are all here today because of the sacrifices of these men and women and their families. May God always help us to hold deeply and provide us heart’s to serve others. That notion brings beauty.

“I didn’t know I was hungry”

Have you ever found out something profound about your life after that season was over? Rachel Held Evans started chapter 19 of her fantastic book, ‘Searching for Sunday,’ with this profound concept that stuck with me instantly: “I didn’t know I was hungry.”

Let’s unpack this concept a bit more…

  • Have you ever been in a relationship but didn’t feel loved? Recognized? Seen? Heard?
  • Have you ever been in a room, office, church or otherwise full of people, and felt alone?
  • Have you ever had such an uneasiness that you couldn’t “find the feeling” that was keeping you unsettled and stealing your peace?

That feeling is hunger. In some cases we are starved.  Starved for the basic needs that sustain us as humans: love, community, peace. The sentence blew my mind. Have you ever been hungry and didn’t even know it or have the capacity or knowledge to “name it?”

I have had a season like that. In fact, if I allow myself to “go there” or dig deep enough, I’ve had a few. I have to laugh a bit because a few years back, my son said, offhand, “Mom, I could have told you that.” I had to seek outside counseling to hear this truth and right under my own roof my son recognized certain patterns. He recognized I was “hungry,” but I sure didn’t know it.

In fact, that counselor pointed out that we are either pursuing, running from or staying within the moment. I am either a pursuer or a runner. Perhaps most of us are? (Oh, how I’d love to have the knowledge of a good therapist! Thank God for those people!) Until the last few years, I did not even know that the staying or lingering with the discomfort – or perhaps even the comfort – of a relationship or situation was a “thing” and really essential to understanding and growth. When she pointed it out, it was a light bulb moment. It was in this understanding that I could begin to recognize moments of hunger.

One of the things I like to do in these short little insights, is to spur us to think deeper in a wild attempt to better understand ourselves. I feel like perhaps we can serve others better if we do so.

Have the best week! I hope this post helps move us toward joy and toward a life full of everything God has in store for us. I love that notion of moving toward all that is good and hopeful.

Q&A with two new college grads (my sons): A perspective on our new world

What fun to have had Tucker and Joe home the last several weeks. It was not at all the plan we had for this season, but the dinner time conversations and the connections have been very special. I imagine over the years we will treasure this time. The “ring” day celebration at Texas A&M and the graduation weekends in College Station and Gainesville have all been adapted and remapped. This year’s “ritual” celebrations are on deck for deliberation.

This year brings us new opportunities to rethink our lives, and so I wondered what a new college grad may be thinking. It seems nothing is as it was just two months ago, when the boys were on pace with interviews and job offers that would have launched their post-grad career. That seems like it may as well have been 4 years ago now. What must they really be thinking? Concern? Confusion? Relief?

I was curious, so I interviewed them. I hope you all find it as interesting as I did. There were a few unexpected thoughts I gained and lessons that I know impacted me. How much fun (and actually profound) is it to learn from the next generation? Pure delight if you ask me.

Q: Was college what you expected?

Joe: I went in without an expectation really. I knew it would take more effort than high school… harder classes…

Tucker: This is a difficult question to answer. I have found that we all head into periods of transition in life with an idea of what might happen, and college is no exception. In most cases, things do not turn out how we hoped they would, but they work out exactly how they were meant to for our personal growth. For me, my college experience epitomizes this idea.

Q: Was it better than expected? Worse?

Joe: My view is it’s a tool to get you a job within your chosen career. It was a good experience.

Tucker: Looking back, college was better than I expected because of the growth I experienced and the lessons I learned. There were moments when it felt like things could not get any worse, but I found that these are the times that make you stronger. As cliche as that is, it’s true. A major lesson I learned in college was to embrace the difficult times because, more often than not, you will come out on the other side better for it.

Q: What was surprising?

Joe: I was definitely planning on graduating in four years and still feel like I could have if I had known a few things. It was surprising that many of the classes from junior college don’t transfer over, and I wish I had known that.(We found out about a semester too late that this is super common with the junior college combination… Maybe a lesson to be learned for someone else here.)

Tucker: Each year of college brought its own surprises, but the biggest shock to me was the amount of freedom you are given. When you leave home and get to your college campus, the only person to truly hold you accountable is yourself. No one is there to wake you up, prepare your meals, or make you go to class. College requires an immense amount of self-discipline, and figuring all of this out is all part of the process.

Q: Would you recommend junior college?

Joe: We have one of the best junior college’s in the country here where we live around Overland Park, KS. It is a really smart financial decision for many, and it gives you the opportunity to prepare/level up before going to a larger university.

Tucker: I would definitely recommend junior college. Unless you are totally set on what you want to do and where, considering a junior college is a wise decision. From a financial standpoint, doing this can set you up for financial freedom later down the road. From an academic standpoint, you can get your general courses out of the way while you figure out what you are truly passionate about. There is no shame in attending a junior college for a year or two; as a matter of fact, it’s a pretty smart choice.

Q: Was there a primary takeaway or lesson learned?

Joe: I had the chance to study abroad in a way that wasn’t the norm along with one of my triplet brothers. Our other brother, Sam, was able to with his University and I’d say that this experience for all of us was really important. Everyone that can should take advantage of any opportunity like this. The influence of other cultures and perspectives that you learn is really helpful. I have already been exposed to this in my work and in the community, and having this viewpoint seems really important.

On the lessons learned part, I definitely would say don’t take it so seriously that you impact your sleep, or really general health. It’s hard, there are hard instructors, but it seems to even out and it’s not worth the added stress. Some classes are just hard and you have to own that. (Mom comment: Kind of like life…pure wisdom here!)

Tucker: There are so many lessons I learned in college, but the first one that comes to mind is to stay your course. It is easy to play the comparison game with our peers, friends, family, etc. Everyone is on their own path, everyone has their own challenges, and everyone’s situation is entirely different. Devise a plan, stick to it, and focus on you.

Q: How do you think COVID-19 will impact your next phase?

Joe: I think companies will be rethinking how they do work. I think we will have more opportunity to have more balanced lives, perhaps. I was listening to a podcast about the NFL Draft and its success being virtual this year. The key lessons were that they were now considering if this could be done in this way in the future? Better viewership? Happier leaders/coaches that didn’t have to travel and be away from their families? It seems like the question now is, “Are the positive incremental differences in being live and present at the office or at some place like the draft event enough to warrant the expense in cost and health of the teams?” I think we will see this change our way of life from now on to some degree.

Tucker: This pandemic will absolutely have a major impact on this next stage of life. Obviously, companies are not hiring at the pace they once were, creating an even more competitive job market for recent graduates. As far as how firms operate, I am sure remote work will become a popular option, even when COVID-19 blows over. This is a difficult time to be graduating, but as I discussed earlier in this interview, I will be grateful for this experience years from now.

Q: What are your expectations of a celebration knowing the normal “ritual” events such as graduations have been taken away for now or rescheduled?

Joe: I really don’t have any expectations.

Tucker: For some people, the cancellation of these events is devastating, and understandably so. Walking across the stage at Texas A&M’s Reed Arena would have been a very memorable way to wrap up my college years, but an at-home celebration with my close friends and family is perfectly fine with me.

Q: If you had a magic wand and could change or recreate anything about the college experience, what would it be?

Joe: I wouldn’t change anything. I take it all as learning and where I am supposed to be at the moment.

Tucker: I would not change anything. In my eyes, everything unfolded exactly how it was supposed to. Everything we go through and experience is what allows us to learn, grow, and progress.

Q: Favorite instructors?

Joe: None specific, but I could definitely tell those that had passion. It came through in their voice inflection, their command of their subject… the class could feel it.

Tucker: Dr. Sandra Braman (Mass Communication Law) and Dr. Nandra Perry (Bible as Literature) are two awesome instructors at Texas A&M. Both experts in their fields, Dr. Braman and Dr. Perry made coming to class a joy because of their passion, knowledge, and desire to challenge their students

I hope you loved this as much as I did. So much good here! Have a wonderful wrap to this week and I pray that you are finding joy at every turn.

Guest blog: Finding joy while quarantined alone

(Enjoy today’s guest blog from my girl Ashley Jost, who helps keep the site rolling each week!)

From my first day working from home. Mind you, I sold my dining room set and my desk before moving here in December, so the ottoman doubled as a desk for those first few days. Also, note my exceptionally-needy coworker.

Like many others, I didn’t enjoy quarantine at first, though I knew it was the right thing to do. So much of the useful information I gather at work as a communications director comes from being in the presence of others, picking up on the dynamics, the politics and the opportunities. In the name of public health, I cast my selfish woes aside and hoped for the best.

That was mid March, when the mayor of the City of St. Louis announced the quarantine.

Hindsight is 20/20, and I have to admit I probably wasted those first few days – heck, maybe weeks – wallowing. I have friends who are quarantined with family, flooding social media with photos of board games and movie nights. Others are cooped up with spouses/partners, sharing pics of their sourdough starters and renovation projects.

At the time, watching everyone else’s highlight reel, I felt even more alone than I already was in my 650-square foot apartment. I moved here in December, started a new job in January and was still maneuvering my role in this new chapter. What a rush to put all of that progress I had made understanding the culture and relationship building on hold.

There wasn’t really a single moment I can point to as a turning point from the last six weeks. Perhaps it happened gradually. I started to re-create habits I had let go of over time, like reading 10 pages of a professional development book, and spending 15 minutes journaling – every day.

Then the walks started. I’m fortunate enough to be in a neighborhood where I can safely walk and avoid contact with others. I’d walk before my workday began and catch up on old podcasts from Rachel Hollis, soaking in discussions about mindset changes and leading with intention, unknowingly realizing that I was then living that truth once I got home and opened my Macbook.

The walks also made me think about my physical health and how sedentary the first few months at the new job had made me. I was also keenly aware of the impact not having office snacks and unlimited Diet Coke was having on the scale. (Hmm. Another thing to devote my energy to…) Then, one walk became three (sometimes four) walks. I break from my laptop for 20 minutes twice during the typical workday to sneak in a mile, letting Beyonce serenade me as I get my mind right for the next Zoom call.

Developing habits has been a game changer these past ~7 weeks. I’ve reconnected with what’s important to me, become a healthier version of myself both physically and mentally, and certainly (or hopefully, I should say) have become a better friend and colleague to others on my perpetual quest to serve well.

Sometimes, the simplest stories offer nuggets of inspiration. I hope that something about my personal experience during this pandemic hits home to you.

As Lori would say, I am cheering you on. ♥️