To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Inspiration

Getting to your best yes

Throwing it back to a post from last year. It’s a solid rewind about a book that could serve any of us well these days.

Ryan Holiday’s new book, ‘Stillness Is the Key,’ should jet to the top of most people’s list. I couldn’t soak it up fast enough. The first several chapters captured my attention fully. A small part of the Amazon review:

“In this book, he outlines a path for achieving this ancient, but urgently necessary way of living. Drawing on a wide range of history’s greatest thinkers, he argues that stillness is not mere inactivity, but the doorway to self mastery, discipline and focus.”

Holiday covers famous baseball players, philosophers and even Mr. Rogers as he weaves in and out of proof points that we will be far better off if we can get our minds to tune out, therefore really tuning in. It’s powerful.

The message I captured in the picture above is one of those I “dog-eared” and noted to come back to. Perhaps identifying a critical framework for getting closer to what seems to be a challenge for me personally: getting to stillness. There are so many hidden costs to more of anything. We have to ask ourselves if it really does matter to us… Do our closets or homes need more items to fill it? Do our schedules need another time blocked? We have to remember that whatever we give up is in exchange for something else (more quality time with someone or something you love perhaps?). It could be time, resources or energy you won’t ever get back.

This particular chapter closed with this, “Will I look back from the distant future and be glad I did it? If I never knew about it at all – if the request was lost in the mail, if they hadn’t been able to pin me down to ask me –would I even notice I missed out? When we know what to say no to, we can say yes to the things that matter.”

So much truth to this little book. (It is a very short read… I promise!) I’m hoping we can all grab something out of this today that is both practical, and stirs us up enough to make sure our yes is really the best one.

Some weeds are beautiful

Did you ever have an “a-ha!” experience, which seemed so obvious that you can’t believe it didn’t occur to you earlier? I was pulling some weeds over the weekend and was perplexed by a couple that I couldn’t figure out if they were truly weeds or an intentionally planted flower or bush of some sort. I stopped and added the title of this blog as a note to my phone.

The whole “weeding” process is important for a lot of reasons (I am far from any expert gardener, but some of them are so dang invasive that I can imagine them choking the life out of my nearby plants trying to thrive.)

My research on this whole weed thing got a little out of hand pretty quickly… lots of information… For example, did you know:

  • Weeds protect the soil? (Now, think of life’s weeds: Those troublesome situations we find ourselves in. I think there is a lesson here for us –– they protect us!)
  • Weeds may fertilize the soil? (Again, the challenges almost always make us stronger. Growth almost requires weeds.)
  • Weeds condition the soil? Specifically, “they provide channels for rain and air to penetrate.” (And the parallels to life’s journey continued on as I read … but I’ll stop here.)

I’ve always loved how Jesus teaches us in parables. He has a good one about the weeds. Seeds, too, but I will save that for another blog post.

For today, this thought about beautiful “weeds” really resonates. “Weeds are nature’s way of healing itself.” (Weeds- Guardians of the Soil, Cocannouer)

We need to pay attention to beauty. Even the type that comes disguised.

The strength of your inner circle

For today’s blog, I felt that this re-post was exactly what needed said. I have found that no matter what season I am in, my circle is what protects, pushes me forward, strengthens, and inspires joy.

The recent loss of Mr. Boseman offers us an opportunity to learn from his life. I hope it serves as a reminder that intentionally nurturing and building our circle should be at the top of our priority list. In fact, serving well can best be done in unity with those God has placed in our path. I am very thankful for my friends and family today!

Thank you to Michelle Wimes, Chief Equity and Inclusion Officer at Children’s Mercy Kansas City and brilliant thought leader for reposting from Michelle Gines, Community Relations for Sunflower Health Plan –– also clearly a voice we need to listen to:

“How strong is your circle? How loyal are your confidants?

His wife, his family, his friends. His cast mates and the director. His Howard University Alumni family. His barber. His stylist. His agent. His manager. His doctors. His nurses. His pharmacist. His accountant. His banker. His pastor. His church. Hollywood. Marvel.

Chadwick’s entire circle respected his private battle with colon cancer and kept it from the public.

THE LAST LESSON THE KING OF WAKANDA LEFT:

Choose your associations wisely. Surround yourself with good company. Build a strong support system that is loyal and faithful and true. A circle that loves you.”

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Time to exhale

How are you making this Labor Day weekend count? I like to think that this holiday isn’t just about taking a break, but rather about emotionally exhaling.

This weekend used to wind down the summer before school started. Alas, that isn’t the case anymore. August’s onslaught of obligations, activities, etc. are in full force for most of us. But wait, didn’t summer just start? So obviously, Labor Day weekend is a really good time to take a breather.

“Emotionally exhaling” doesn’t take much. (That’s sort of the point.)

Reading, life planning, sharing a meal or two with friends or family, a visit to the farmer’s market, and  a chance to take in the last days of poolside bliss. Those work for me, but for others it’s about rock climbing, marathons and shopping extravaganzas. Reflect on what this weekend should look like for you based on the season of your life. Be a little selfish – you deserve it.

There is a great book that came out a few years ago called “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst. It calls out to us to make the best decision for ourselves at that given moment and season. So, what does your soul need this weekend? There is still time to make it happen.

Whatever you do with the rest of your long weekend, I hope that you will emotionally exhale.

(Rewind! This is a throwback post that felt really, really relevant to this particular Labor Day!)

Hello September: Setting ourselves up for a meaningful and fun wrap to 2020

I have a weekly email to our team at work where I share some fun ideas or things I’ve seen over the week that could offer inspiration or hope. For many, September is like the “other” January, locking into the back to school mindset, and contemplating what you want to accomplish to pull off a truly meaningful year. With so much being different this year, this seems of the highest importance… to truly not let it “go by.” After all, we are only given so many years, and even though one has tried to cancel many of our plans, we can get creative and still ensure we are better at the end of it!

One of the best ideas I saw last week was was putting together a bucket list for the rest of 2020. Something that would be easy, but yet make it perhaps a bit exciting. My mom and I were texting the other night about how nice it would be to actually be able to go visit her Aunt Clara still this year. I loved that and thought it was a good one to add to the list.

Where does your mind go when thinking about what you want to do yet this year? A fall camping trip? A COVID-19-friendly visit to relatives or friends who are a road trip away? A financial goal? How about a wellness goal? Take your first yoga class, or at least try some of the great ones on YouTube? Add deep breathing exercises to your regimen, or create your own 5K walk or run with some friends? How about spiritual goals? How about seeking out a spiritual mentor in a person or some great authors that helps you learn and grow? Family goals? Create a family mission statement? Decide on a place to serve and do it together monthly for the last part of the year?

Where can you dream a bit and what are you willing to commit to? Make it easy, fun and impactful. Please share your ideas! Have an amazing wrap to your week and long weekend ahead, if that is in the cards for you.

As always, cheering your journey on and praying that you will find yourself feeling energized and hopeful if you decide to spend some time with this idea!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: God’s got you

I saw this on an Instagram post this week and it was fabulous! Here’s what the caption said: “Let me tell you the story of a girl who got so tired of struggling that she gave every single bit of it to God. YES, all of it… And then everything got better. It’s you… you are the girl.”

How great is that? What an important reminder for us all on this Sunday. This sabbath –– the day we are called to set it all aside and rest in His goodness. 

My boys are at that great age where they are realizing that all of this story of God’s power could be true, but yet ask the important question of “how?”

“It all sounds good, but no matter what I do (pray, daily devotions, etc.), I don’t feel God showing up like this promise says.” I’m certain most of us have been in that same head space… maybe you are there today.

Over the years, I have learned that it truly is about “long obedience in the same direction.” (Peterson) This knowing, along with proof points, can only be seen/touched/felt by a constant, surrendering… a commitment to asking God to show up every single day. He seems to always reveal himself over time and His ways of working aren’t to be predicted. Sometimes we wait and wait because God knows we aren’t ready for what we are asking for… That’s always been a powerful truth for me personally. Anyone else?

Sometimes we have to sit with a lack of peace for years on a subject as God quietly weaves it all together. Most importantly, we find His goodness when we literally are disciplined around a consistent thought life that repeats over and over –– “God’s got this.”

This week, what if we all start and end our days with this phrase…? I believe we may just have a shift in the right direction. In the meantime, I am praying that God will meet you where you are today and that the deepest desires of your heart will be received at precisely the time you are ready to receive them! 

Where do you want to end up?

(Throwback! This post feels so relevant right now as many of us are going back to work or have family starting school!)

Pretty much wherever you want to end up, it will require you put your most comfortable shoes (and frame of mind) on. Comfortable and fun go a long way!

I believe it’s important to have a plan to achieve whatever it is we are hoping to go after personally, in our community, at work and at home as we try to answer these questions…

Where do you want to end up this week?
This month?
This semester?
This year?
During your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, etc.?
During your life time?

Intention and design are the two key terms for me.

First, identifying what I “intend” to do (think: get leaner, eat more greens, call my parents more often, send more handwritten notes, hit my Q4 work goals, etc.). Second, design a plan to ensure that I achieve that “end game” goal (carve out time every Sunday to make those calls, try Pilates, start my days an hour earlier, etc.). To me, the design plan is the most important and also can be the most fun. There are so many ways to get to the same place, and we have the opportunity to make it fun.

What can we do differently to add a bit of whimsy into our days? Instead of that lunch, what about a stroll through the market? Instead of a plane, how about a train for that family long weekend holiday?

Would love your ideas and inspiration!

“Use your words”

Throwing it back to a post from April that feels really relevant right now. Cheering you on, friends!

In a moment of frustration a few months back, a friend shared with me this basic truth: “use your words.”

This simple phrase stuck with me. The idea resonated and seemed to be applicable for many areas of life. Imagine if we all could use this thought with the end goal of developing healthy relationships? How might the world improve if we encouraged loving and candid conversations? Why had I not honed in on this phrase before? (It sure may have been useful when the boys were younger.)

Here’s the question I ask to frame this up for myself: What is the most loving thing to do or say in this situation? In every conversation, be it work, home, or some other relationships, using your words and sharing your heart is often the most loving/compassionate thing you can do. If you don’t, you run the risk of not fostering healthy relationships and likely even causing that uncomfortable tension that happens when we don’t fully share what is stirring in our soul.

Here are a few possible scenarios:

  • Claiming ground rules and boundaries. (Yeah, we still need to clean up after we cook in the kitchen.)
  • Sharing that you are really scared, that you don’t know how you are going to come out of this financially, physically, mentally or emotionally.
  • Telling a co-worker that you need them to communicate better for the greater good of the team even though you know they are feeling stressed.

I’m sure you can come up with several other useful scenarios. I locked in on this topic early in the week. I had never heard anyone else share this truth of “using your words.” I have however always found that the universe has a way of validating if we are on the right track. Just yesterday, one of my favorite blog follows, theartofsimple.net, shared a few poems and one was titled “Use your words.” I love it.

I hope that this insight offers some encouragement and useful thoughts as you embark on another week. Let’s all choose to use our words and LOVE WELL!

Celebrating the little things

I want to throw it back a little bit to an old post, but with a new spin for you. Back in August 2017, I talked about how important it is to celebrate the little things. In fact, I said so in the context of the eclipse!

But three years later, this concept feels even more relevant, as we all are looking for little silver linings amid what sometimes feels like chaos. I personally need to do a better job of celebrating small moments.

I actually used to always have a bottle of pink champagne in my refrigerator to have on hand to celebrate the little things in the lives of our family, neighbors and colleagues. My friend and blog helper, Ashley, tells me that she has a system to celebrate the small wins: She buys champagne, and tapes a piece of paper with a goal onto it. When she hits the goal, she pops the bottle. How cool?

How else can we make celebrating easy and top of mind? What do you do? Share them with the rest of us so we can adapt and adopt!

Celebrating is a gift we have on hand every day and week if we choose to use it! Seeking out the good in life is a key to happiness and to a life of serving others and yourself well.

“I will never give up on you” (So good!)

My son Sam was married to this love of his life, Katie, on Saturday in a beautiful backyard “COVID-19” wedding. It was one of the best experiences of my life. One of the reasons for that were the comments in the personal vows they both penned. They were profound.

If you took the time to write out your commitment, your covenant to those you love, what would you say? I am thinking about that today, and I believe it could be an impactful exercise. In the image above, I share Katie’s commitment to Sam, “I will never give up on you.” It was only one small statement, but it was power-packed. Even with the birds chirping I’m the background, you could hear the reaction from the small crowd. It was deep in meaning and everyone felt the strength of those words.

I could elaborate, as I’m sure you could on why this was so powerful, depending on our own personal narratives. After all, who doesn’t want the person they love to publicly declare this truth. It’s strong. It’s important. We all need our closest tribe to stick with us no matter what. Those of us who are older know that we will screw up (early and often), and sometimes it seems asking anyone to not give up is too big of a request.

I hope this idea of the importance of making a meaningful covenant resonates with some of you. What does your partner – or whomever you are making this commitment to – need from you? Also, and so critical, what do you really feel like you can commit to? I believe this is useful for many relationships, including close friends and family. If that is too much of an ask, how about meditating on Katie’s proclamation?

As a woman of faith, I know God won’t give up on me, and that should be enough. As a living, breathing human, I need to know I’m surrounded by those who are willing to commit firmly. I am meditating on those who provide that for me as I write this and I am full of gratitude.