To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Inspiration

Everyone needs a champion

This is such an important message – one that we should all feel strongly about.

It doesn’t matter if you are young like these sweet girls, in school, starting your career, mid-career or past retirement age. It doesn’t matter if you work or don’t work. It doesn’t matter what your education is or how awesome your credentials are. One hundred percent of us are happier and more fulfilled when we have a champion – preferably a few!

I didn’t realize it was such a problem until I started a new job six years ago. It was difficult for me to understand that most people I worked with directly went through their days and years (in one case, over 20 years) without a champion. In fact, when asked who their champion was, there was a blank stare as if they didn’t know what a champion was. It was palpable in the culture. I have since then had this conversation with many, and found that our company was not alone. I also found that many across my social groups also didn’t feel they necessarily had a champion in life. That is just not right. (Side note: I’m not indicating that the entire company was that way, but pockets within the office.)

I wondered how they progressed… learned… advanced… I found out that most of them really didn’t – they were stagnant. Sure, business priorities and strategies changed from year to year, but the feeling of thriving, or truly moving toward purpose was non existent for far too many.

It had me thinking. Is it a choice? Do they even know what it feels like to have someone that is an advocate? Someone that is going to bat for you and helping advance your cause and work? What if you want someone to “champion” you but you don’t know how to ask or where to start? Is that your responsibility, or your employer’s?

So many questions. An issue I never realized was so complicated. I have always been part of a culture that ensured people were supporting/championed. I try to do that at home too. After all, it starts there, right? We all need someone that leads our fan club.

My hope with this post is if you aren’t being championed, you develop a plan to change that. Heck, I’d be glad to help! If you aren’t championing someone outside of your home, I think finding someone that could use your support would be a really great thing to do. Again, it doesn’t matter your age nor situation… giving someone a hand up ends up making more of a difference to you personally.

Finally, if you do happen to be in the work place, please make sure that everyone in your circle has a champion. The culture will be better for it, and that could be a game changer for 2019. I’m all about game changers. Go be a champion!

Leave every conversation with energy

Being an energy GIVER versus an energy TAKER is a goal that we should have.

When people interact with you, be it on the phone (yes an actual call), via text or in a meeting, do they leave noticing that they have more energy than when the communication began? Another way to say it, is do they feel better… more inspired, excited or hopeful?

This isn’t the kind of energy a cheerleader brings – although that is great energy. This is the kind that LIFTS the atmosphere. The kind that heightens your awareness of life itself and how we can accomplish and achieve so much more together. No matter if it is holding someone’s pain with them, challenging them to level up in a specific area, or encouraging them to develop a plan to achieve their personal goals… this ENERGY brings the mood of the room up a notch.

We all need energy transfusions. We all need to be more aware of how we “leave a conversation.” Are we elevating the ENERGY, or can we do better? I for one, can always do better by being more aware of even the most simple transactions…

I hope you’ll join me in raising the POSITIVE ENERGY in our world! We certainly need it!

Thank you, Dr. King

Please don’t dismiss this week’s celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you are a news junkie, no doubt it has been front and center (along with football playoffs and winter) the last few days. Others are avoiding the news, instead gravitating toward anything but the often-negative stories that flood into our homes.

For this week, it is worthwhile to take in the story of his life… again.

If you’d like a simple place, use this. The “I have a dream” video is also worth your 5 minutes.

My friend Gretchen who substitute teaches (lucky kids) told me that she asked her class the other day who today’s heroes are. The collective group couldn’t really come up with any. Maybe some athletes, but overall the exercise provided pause that left everyone asking who deserves such a title today? Who is doing work that addresses the big issues?

Thankfully there are a LOT of heroes in our world. Many who are quietly serving – and some more noteworthy … spending their days working on complex & big issues. But there is always room for more stand-outs who can GALVANIZE our country. People like Dr. King who sacrificed their lives for the good of man and society.

The quote above is my favorite of Dr. King’s. It resonates with me and I hope it does with you. What issues have we been silent about? The definition of silence meaning that you haven’t really done anything to share your concern and take action to help improve the situation. This could be as easy as walking by litter in your own neighborhood, or as complex as taking on the hate that impacts our world.

 (A shout out to my friend Mindy Corporon and family who are working toward improvement in this area via their foundation and their annual week-long event bringing awareness to these issues.) 

Whatever the issue is that you have a passion for, please don’t be silent. It’s a new year and I’m often glad Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday is celebrated this month, because this is a month to LAUNCH – to kick off or renew a commitment to what is important in our lives. (If you don’t have anything that stands out, please join Mindy and team.)

While you are at it, if you have children in your life that you can inspire, encourage them this week to identify those issues and begin to step forward as a leader to truly impact our world for the positive. I’m confident that today’s youth have what it takes to continue to make America the greatest country in the world.

Who are you at your best?

An idea I ran across for the new year was to write a three paragraph statement of who I am at my best. Hmm… Although I like to write, I’m not much for these types of exercises, and prefer a simple, bulleted approach. I figure I can be vulnerable a bit in this space, so here is what I know for sure without giving it a lot of thought. (In other words, I’m sure there are a host of things I’m missing.)

I’m at my best when…

  1. My spiritual life is on point and active.
  2. I am disciplined around my health, including fitness and eating mostly right (I have to have queso… anyone else?).
  3. My tribe of family and friends (I include colleagues here) are part of my regular schedule.
  4. My personal tribe of family and friends are thriving and happy.
  5. I am absolutely on my game in my career.
  6. I have MARGIN… margin in time to think, read, write, margin in my finances, margin in pretty much every area…

What about you? Is it worth it to take some time to identify what being your best looks like? I can easily go through the list above and see some areas that I would like to focus more on. Focus meaning intentional (and sometimes hard) work to just MAKE IT HAPPEN. Making it happen can mean sacrifice and saying no – or maybe even saying yes. It might mean that instead of spending a Saturday doing what I need and want, that I invest time with my tribe.

I can also see by looking at the list that some things are in conflict, such as that little tribe example. Margin isn’t easy to come by anyway, and harder if you also know it’s a competing priority. Here’s the thing: sometimes we have to actually think through “What is the best yes?”

In this season, in this moment, what do I need more – margin or time with friends? There isn’t a wrong answer, and we need to remember that. It’s all good as long as you are working toward your BEST LIFE.

The final review: The best of 2018 books (including my No. 1, and the entire list)

Let’s start with my No. 1 book. If you read no further, go out now and get the Excellence Dividend by Tom Peters. The book is easy to read, and conceptually will grab you from the opening chapter to the end… The sub categories of EXCELLENCE runs from the “next five minutes,” to “email excellence” and pure gold in between.

As for this rest of this, I truly have no idea how to condense this list to a best of the best. In my May 10 blog, I highlighted 5 books that are definitely must-reads. If you don’t have time to open the blog and read, they included…

  • The Little Big Things, Tom Peters
  • The Daniel Dilemma, Chris Hodges
  • The Power of Moments, Chip and Dan Heath
  • When, Daniel Pink
  • Principles, Ray Dalio

On May 14, I blogged about the Soft Edge by Rich Karlgaard, and its emphasis on the importance of dialing in on trust. And on August 8, I did a deep dive on The Blue Zones, by Dan Buettner, which helps us understand the characteristics of the environments and much more of the longest living people on earth. I think we need to add those two to the list for sure!

Since 13 is my lucky number, I’ll roll out 6 more here that I feel can be life changing for you. My full list of books from are included below, because there are so many amazing lessons to be found.

I’m Still Here, Black Dignity in a world made for Whiteness, Austin Channing Brown —This book is the one we ALL need to read. This book begins to help us understand our biases and, and “is a powerful account of how and why our actions so often fall short of our words.” You’ll be better for reading this one, and then acting on what you learn.

The Motivation Manifesto, Brendon Burchard — This came out in 2014, but somehow I believe I just found out about it… I’m certainly not sure how because the title alone fires me up. This book offers nine declarations to claim your personal power, stretching from reclaiming our agenda to amplifying love and slowing time. It’s pure gold.

The Business Romantic, Tim Leberecht — The words on the inside cover, “How can work be delightful – perhaps even magical?” had me at hello. Simple messages like, “Most great partnerships begin with the simple act of ‘breaking bread together,” and “I encourage you to prioritize joy over optimization” (by identifying and implementing small, enchanting changes…moments of surprise in the business day).

Imagine it Forward, Beth Comstock with Tahl Raz — I have this book marked up so much, I don’t know which direction to take you. The book is more or less a classic business book which pushes us to creativity through courage with a great deal of storytelling. The idea, “What’s needed are the skills of a social architect, someone who is committed to collaborating in a psychologically safe zone that allows for what I call agitated inquiry. Agitated inquiry is the practice of evolving an idea into action steps through heated exchanges and debate.” That captures the book well. If you are a business geek like me, you’ll love this one for sure.

Dare to Lead, Brene Brown — I loved this so much, I turned it into a leadership development program for our team. The subtitle, “Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts,” is the underlining focus. As a seasoned author, Brene raises the bar on her already stunning work. The book challenges us to think about how we “show up,” to truly dive into “the story I’m telling myself at any moment,” and to embrace that being clear is kind — always. So good. And even though lead is in the title, it is so much more than a leadership book… it’s a life book.

Becoming, Michelle Obama — I ended 2018 with this one on New Year’s Eve! It took me nearly the whole month to read, but it was worth it. I am so glad I took the time to dive deep into this one because I learned that I really had no idea who our former First Lady was, and the power of her story. Her ending focused on the idea of “becoming” and it’s a perfect way to end the year and today’s blog. “For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. It’s all a process, steps along a path. Becoming requires equal parts patience and rigor. Becoming is never giving up on the idea that there’s more growing to be done.”

Full List of 2018 books:

  1. One Day All Children, Kopp
  2. Boost your Brain Power, Harmon
  3. The Rhythm of Life, Kelly
  4. Enough, Bogle
  5. The Weight of Water, Shreve
  6. In Her Own Right, Griffith
  7. Crushing it, Vaynerchuk
  8. Serious Play, Schrage
  9. LOVEMARKS, Roberts
  10. The Experience Economy, Pine II & Gilmore
  11. The Genius of Birds, Ackerman
  12. Nudge, Thaler & Sunstein
  13. Sway, Brofman& Brofman
  14. The Pixar Touch, Price
  15. Powerful, McCord
  16. When, Pink
  17. The Leadership Gap, Daskal
  18. Prescription for the Future, Emanuel
  19. Strength in Stillness, Roth
  20. Power of Moments, Heath & Heath
  21. RePresent Jesus, Daniels
  22. The Excellence Dividend, Peters
  23. A Short Guide to a Happy Life, Quindsten
  24. Ayurveda- Beginner’s Guide, Weis-Bohlen
  25. The Soft Edge, Karlgaard
  26. I’m Still Here, Channing Brown
  27. The Business Romantic, Leberecht
  28. White Houses, Bloom
  29. The Blue Zones, Buettner
  30. The Motivation Manifesto, Burchard
  31. Life’s Golden Ticket, Burchard
  32. Tailor Made, Seeley
  33. Rebel Talent, Gino
  34. Hope in the Dark, Groeshel
  35. Do Something Beautiful, Moore
  36. Wisdom at Work, Conley
  37. Imagine it Forward, Comstock
  38. The Person you Mean to Be, Chugh
  39. Healing the Soul of a Woman, Meyer
  40. Whiskey in a Teacup, Witherspoon
  41. 5 Second Rule, Robbins
  42. It’s not Supposed to be this way, Terkeurst
  43. Dare to Lead, Brown
  44. Becoming, Obama
  45. Principles, Dalio
  46. Awaken devotional, Shirer
  47. Little Big Things, Peters
  48. Daniel Dilemma, Hodges
  49. Back to Balance, Fisher
  50. Mandela’s Way, Stengel-Richard
  51. Giving it All Away, Green & High
  52. Discerning the Voice of God, Shirer
  53. Building an A Team, Johnson
  54. The New Jim Crow, Alexander

It’s time to spread joy

“It’s time to spread joy” is one of my favorite go-to concepts in the workplace.

It’s a reminder I started years ago (no doubt borrowing the idea from some brilliant person.) to ensure we were all aware of how the days can go by without recognizing those around us who are shining brightly during the day to day grind. On a routine basis, sending out a friendly reminder for everyone to take a few minutes to reach out, thank, or otherwise acknowledge at least 3 people is all it takes to seriously elevate the world around you.  

It occurred to me, that I haven’t done it lately, and that this can be done really as a solo act. I think I’ll put a reminder in my phone to do just this every week or two. It is a basic human need to want to achieve purpose. For someone to take a moment to throw a virtual “confetti” parade by sharing a few kind words  on someone’s behalf is a game changer not only for them but for the energy it provides you and the environment. 

In this busy season, I hope that JOY is spread all around our communities, in homes, work places, and everywhere you find yourself.  

Loving others with no expectations


A shout out to my mom for the blog topic today. I asked her if she had something she thought would be helpful, and it didn’t take her even a minute to reel this one off. 

At age 75, there is wisdom that comes with this idea — and that doesn’t get past me. Her primary example was that when her mother passed, her dad married again, and from age 30 to 74, my mom had a stepmother who tried to fill the shoes that honestly couldn’t be filled. Her revelation that it was unfair to expect her stepmom to play the role of her mom didn’t come until last year before my grandmother passed. She’s the first to admit that 44 years was absolutely too long to hold this thought and expectation (thus the idea for the blog, hoping it would help someone else).

The bottom line here is that we should try to accept people to show up as they are and not tie our happiness to expectations we come up with.

Here’s the question: What are some parts of your life where you have expectations that may not be serving you well?

  • Are you expecting your children or grandchildren to call you when it doesn’t necessarily fit in with their schedules?
  • Are you expecting your significant other to know that you have a childhood expectation of having a well thought out and over-the-top birthday celebration?
  • Are you expecting your neighbor, sister, brother, children, etc. to see the world as you do?

I love the reminder that sitting without judgement in a relationship and calling ourselves out on setting up unfair scenarios in our minds will make us all better. Thanks for the idea, Mom.  

Have an amazing week!  

Shifting our expectations can be a blessing in disguise

Rewind! This post is a throwback to December 2015.

Today I wanted to touch on the idea of shifting expectations. As we consider living out a life of excellence, we have some options. We have the power to make a simple shift in the way we see a situation in order to move forward in a positive direction.

I wanted to point something out here: Many people associate this concept with settling – big difference. Settling has a negative connotation and makes us feel like we lost somehow. Instead, consider that you’re making a healthy decision for yourself and everyone around you, and move forward! That is excellence.

My hope for this week (let’s take it one day at a time) is that you will shift along with me as our expectations overwhelm us. In this moment, choose to focus on joy. Not the rush, the hustle, nor the chaos, but on the beauty created in the moments that fill our lives.

3 reasons that managing expectations could elevate our lives

Boy, I’d love to be fishing right now… especially if it were, say, 70+ degrees.

Thanksgiving made this topic super current to me and perhaps it may help you too as we go into the holiday “season.” Here’s what I know: everyone has a different expectation of what life should look like and this is heightened during the holidays.

Some people hope to have the family in the kitchen with old and young kids alike, baking cookies and creating culinary creations that provide comfort and holiday spirit to the house. Some perhaps want “life as usual,” without a lot of fanfare. Some want the family to play games, or to load up in the family caravan in search of the greatest light displays. Some want to hide by the fire and watch Netflix or the football.

What I know to be true is that we all come in to our days with what is going on in our current lives and our own opinion of what would be the perfect experience.

There are three key points that I feel are obvious (but we can all use a reminder… especially  me!):

  1. Expectations are good because we all need to have dreams and know what would create happiness and joy for ourselves.
  2. Expectations are not good if they are not shared with those that may play a starring role in what you are hoping for.
  3. Expectations are best achieved when we are open and honest with one another and are also open to modify ours to meet the needs of everyone involved.

Sounds simple, right?

On vacations, we often have everyone go around and ask everyone what is one thing they really hope to do. I have never really thought about doing it on other occasions or maybe even a weekly basis but it’s something to consider for sure. We can certainly all elevate our lives by having healthy expectations and conversations around those! Food for thought today…

Happy Thanksgiving! I am grateful for each of you!

The history of Thanksgiving reminds us that taking time to celebrate the “harvest” is an important part of our country’s history. The idea that for generations we have maintained  integrity around “gathering” and offering thanks is powerful and necessary.

The first Thanksgiving in Plymouth, MA (1621) was a time for neighbors and family to “gather around the table” with those that had provided the bounty through hard work. Today, the Thanksgiving holiday provides us the same opportunity to carve out time to “break bread,” share our stories and offer thanks.

No matter what you find yourself doing over this holiday, my prayer is that you will take the time to acknowledge those that have provided blessings to your life over the last year. I also hope that you will be able to take some time to breathe deeply and celebrate your own success (or survival, as may be the case) so far in 2018. This pause just might offer you what you need for the strongest finish to the year.

Cheers to all of you, your family, friends and loved ones. My goal every time I write is that it might impact at least one person.

It is an honor that you take the time to read these little insights and I am beyond grateful for the gift of your time.