To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

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Serving well in the workplace

It’s Maundy Thursday today (also known as Holy Thursday or Covenant Thursday). I don’t really celebrate, so to speak,  but always have in the back of my mind that I needed to “go deeper” in my thinking. The significance is that it commemorates the Last Supper of Jesus Christ with the apostles. In other words, those people that became like family in the process.

That day, we also hear the incredible part of the story of Jesus kneeling to wash the feet of his disciples, and while doing so lets them know what is about to happen, giving them the following beautiful instruction:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

I love that Jesus modeled how to serve well in the workplace so to speak. Without deep reflection, these are the easy lessons I pull from the Maundy Thursday celebration:

  1. Those that work alongside us should become like a second family to us. Caring for them in the workplace and having a great awareness and caring of their personal lives is important for a thriving team. The bottom line is we are to love, and to me that means showing our genuine concern for their lives. (Please know that just like we sometimes have, Jesus faced opposition even within his own team of disciples… He loved them anyway.)
  2. Leaders with humility are rare and important. We should all strive, whether we are leading great numbers or leading ourselves to be humble and honor others when we can. (Side note: There is always an opportunity to give honor.)
  3. Finally, communication is central to any healthy workplace. Jesus was sharing a tough message, but he took the time to gather his team, to celebrate their accomplishments and to share what the near future looked like, equipping them with encouragement and direction. There is a lot to be learned here for all of us.

Have a simply wonderful weekend everyone! Oh, and GO ROYALS! (It’s finally baseball season again!)

The back story: Even the best highlight reels have them

I had my 50th birthday last week and wrapped up what ended up being a wonderful trip to pick my son Sam up from Australia where he was studying abroad. I posted some fun pictures along the way and it was fun to see everyone’s comments and birthday wishes.

That is the absolutely best part about Facebook: using it as a tool for encouragement. As a community we are darn good at encouraging one another on that  medium! It got me thinking that sometimes we see pictures, videos, etc.  and think others have a “storybook” life and that might make us wish we had that, too, or at least that part of it! I think we all know by now that social media is generally a place we share the great things going on in our lives, and not the parts that aren’t so much fun.

This blog post today is a call for us all to remember that there is always a back story.

Most of the greatest successes in the history of our country have come from those whose lives didn’t start out glamorous, and often were filled with hardship and struggle. What I have found in the average person I know, is that their lives are full.  Full of joy, sadness, anxiety, excitement, fun and sometimes hardship that is difficult to understand. No one is immune to these truths in life.

Just before I left for Australia, I was experiencing some health issues (anxiety triggered by higher-than-normal blood pressure, acid reflux — Yep… I thought it was a heart attack on its way).  I am pretty sure most, if not all of it, was stress related since I felt so much better while away. I also, in all of my “semi-hiking” glory, had a knee injury and walked around with a beautiful tan knee brace which was very, let’s say, “50+.”

If anyone of you have been on a family vacation for any period of time, you know that there are often a few glorious moments of heated exchange.  I think you get the point…we all have a back story.  We all have our great days and those that, frankly, suck. It’s all part of the ride! Have a great weekend!

The ‘no fly zone’ effect

If you are a This is Us follower, you may have caught the episode earlier this season where  Kevin’s family’s significant others waited out the family meeting at a local establishment, getting in a good laugh while talking about the the Pearson family ‘no fly zone.’

You know, those sensitive discussion topics that we “just don’t go there” in conversation. In some cases, that may mean the topic is only for immediate family only, or for some it may mean a topic that you are not willing to talk about, period.

In the show, the ‘no fly zone’ focuses on the death and addiction problems surrounding the dad, Jack Pearson, Kate’s weight, Randall’s issues raised via his brilliance and his adoption into the family – and the list goes on. It’s complicated, but then again, aren’t all of our lives?

I immediately wrote down this as a good blog topic because I wonder how  many of us have ‘no fly zone’ areas where we can’t or won’t go with those we love the most. “No need to talk about it. It was what it was and time will heal.” Right? Maybe. My years of experience tell me that a healthy family and relationship is surrounded by honesty; full disclosure if you will.

I’m sure we’ve all thought at some point that somehow our extended family is “different” or “strange,” and that those large family gatherings are sure to be awkward. The truth is we all have characters in our family that are so different from us that they seem like someone we may not want our significant others to know about right away.

Whether it’s family, the fact that you got fired from a job (I did in college) or whatever potentially sensitive area it may be, being able to destruct the ‘no fly zone’ and be transparent with those closest to you will make you feel so much better. “Sharing is caring,” as the saying goes. Sharing is also healing!

What are the ‘no fly zones’ you need to address?

Black History Month series: If you still don’t understand

Here’s the story of Mae Berther Carter, who raised a young family in 1965

That really isn’t that long ago, if you ask me! I think it’s important to put things into perspective.

During 1965, Ms. Carter enrolled 7 of her 13 children (boy, she had to have been busy!) in public schools that were previously reserved only for white students.

Despite people firing bullets into her home, she persisted. Despite being evicted from her home, she persisted. (Does “Nevertheless, she persisted” conversation from last year resonate with anyone else here?)

In 1969, Ms. Carter and her husband won a lawsuit challenging the “freedom of choice” laws. That same year, a court order ended the segregation system in the Drew School District. All 7 of those children later graduated from that school. (No clue what happened to the other six…) It is hard to fathom a school — and for that matter, public or private spaces — being reserved only for certain people. To think that inequality like this ever existed is far from the teaching of most value systems, spiritual and not. (Side note: There is inequality still today in so many areas, which is in a large part what the #MeToo movement is about. I am not so sure our country has advanced as much as it could have.)

At any rate, these stories compel me, as they shrink the topic to a level I can consume.

My mom was 22 years old then, and although she’s aging now, it’s hard to think she walked through this world at the same age my boys are now. That brings it close to home for me. As I shared Tuesday, science shows through epigenetics that those harsh realities impact the generations that followed, including those alive today.

That means someone you sit next to at work or church; someone you watch on television or perhaps in one of the Oscar-nominated films — they’re affected. You see, we all have our story. We all have backgrounds that shape us. I think all of us need to go into conversations throughout life with a greater understanding that everyone has a journey and the best thing we can do is listen, seek to understand and, of course, serve others freakishly good and always be kind.

I hope you and your family are taking some time this month to learn more stories like Mae’s. Consider checking out The King Center, which showcases some terrific information.

Team USA: The power of unity

I am a huge fan of the Olympics! (I favor the Winter Olympics, but it’s all awesome!)

When the 2010 Winter Olympics were in nearby Vancouver, Canada, my sister, boys and I hopped over and attended a few events. The feeling of a world unified by something is so powerful. Let me tell you, you felt that love. It makes me wish there were Olympic games annually.

The kick off of the 2018 Winter Games tonight has me considering the whole concept of unity and being a team. What creates the movement where a team becomes unified? What drives them to pull together to win?

If you are a Kansas Citian, you know the feeling from our hometown team, the Royals. When they came together to win the World Series, it was palpable around town. There was no denying the unity of the team, and as a result, the town. (Unity is contagious… what we call good energy!) We saw the same thing Sunday night when the power of team and focus came through during post-game interviews with the Philadelphia Eagles. (Did anyone else catch the local shout out to the Blue Valley Tigers that won the Kansas state title this fall? Another example of unity! I attended a preseason golf tournament and you could feel it even then. I believe that team unity doesn’t happen over night. I had nothing to do really with this team, but still felt their energy and excitement. That’s the power of unity.)

When the athletes take the field tonight, I hope that you notice that unity is alive and well, and has been since the beginning of the modern day games in 1896. (Fun fact: They first started as a pagan religious festival in 776 in Greece, but after a 393 hiatus, regrouped to what we know today as the Olympic games.)

The Olympics as a movement has three main parts, according to reference.com. They include the International Olympic Committee, The International Federations and the National Olympic Committees. The three work together to:

  • PROMOTE PEACE
  • ENCOURAGE PEACE AMONG YOUNG ATHLETES

Sports help athletes engage on the field without discrimination, the reference goes on to say. Forming friendships and practicing fair play are the cornerstones of the events. I love all of that, don’t you?

As we go into the next few weeks watching the big events, I hope this resonates with you and you think about how we should all strive for this type of effort. As the athletes showcase, it takes work, discipline and often a mind-over-matter approach to the sport or, in this case, the game of life.

We can be unified as a country. We can reveal friendships. We can become a strong, cohesive unit. As a family, a community and a country. I believe in TEAM USA!

Family: Your first team

Family connections run deep.

No matter what your family looks like or how dysfunctional they may be, family creates a bond like no other.

Family sees us at our worst and our best: tears of joy and pain. It’s raw, but a good raw.

Family is vulnerability.

They have seen the real us and vice versa, and they stick around regardless of whether they like what they see.

Even if we step away or create a distance, we are drawn back because, well, family is family.

Like many of you, over the years I went to extended family reunions as a child and thought it was fun, but totally missed the meaning. I watched my boys and was surprised that they seem to realize and honor the depth of family at a young age, and valued its importance.

That has me thinking: We all could use a reminder to really invest in this area. It’s easy to put family on the back burner unless, like children, they need us for survival. Family will be there and we know it.

For that very reason, we should make a concentrated effort to invest and honor them every chance we get. Say thank you, show appreciation, lift them up… We do this in the work place and we do it with our friends, but do we tell our favorite uncle that he really means a lot to us? What about telling him that his service to our country brings you so much pride and gratitude? I don’t do this enough.

Let’s pay attention and make some investments in those who are our greatest cheerleaders. Who’s with me?

(Rewind: This is a revamped post from 2017, because it rings true now and always.)

2017, The final review: Books I loved

Reading — and continuous learning in general, really — is among the top three things we can do to grow personally, if you ask me.

I realized I wrapped up 2017 without my final reading list, so I thought today would be a great day to get this on the record. In fact, as February kicks off, I hope you will find one that interests you enough to grab a copy on Amazon or your local bookstore.

With the temperatures still hovering around freezing, it’s the perfect time to shut off the television and jump into learning! (For many, it’s getting lost in a fictional story. I seem to prefer nonfiction. Whatever you fancy, the practice expands your mind, imagination and thinking so go for what you love.)

Here are some thoughts on a few books that I loved in particular, but my full reading list from May through December is at the end:

Higher is Waiting, Tyler Perry

  • Why I loved it: Frankly I just love Tyler Perry (AKA Madea), so it didn’t matter what it was — I knew I’d probably like it. The thing is, his book is pure gold. This is where I got the idea from a December blog to ask those you love to write you a letter versus giving a gift. I did this and my boys and my mom wrote me the most wonderful, personal letters. I will cherish them forever and make this an annual practice. Books like this provide us those “gems” that enrich our lives.

Side Hustle, Chris Guillebeau

  • Why I loved it: Our current economy is sometimes referred to as the “gig” economy. What this means is that many people have made it a practice to have many “side” streams of income coming in. Chris promises to go from an idea to income in 27 days. This is a simple and practical little book that highlights ideas and stories that just might be a game changer for you.

A Resilient Life, Gordon MacDonald

  • Why I loved it: First of all, let’s just say that I really loved it! I have gifted it multiple times now and paid my boys to read this one. If they soak up even a part of it, their lives will change in the best possible ways. The book is older and full of wisdom. It is a Christian perspective on business and life. Some of the ideas that got me thinking: Who stretches your mind? Who listens to and encourages your dreams? When forming your group of close friends, you might ask: Who will protect you? Those alone are worth the price of the book and that is just a glimpse. If you only pick up one of these, pick this.

Whisper, Mark Batterson

  • Why I loved it: Mark is my very favorite Christian author. His book the Circle Maker is another I gift often. Mark’s books are full of stories, science and studies that compel you to be better and stronger. This book is about hearing from God and how we do so. I loved his story about Pure Delight: “Seven times in the book of Genesis, God steps back from the canvas of his creation and admires. It is his reaction and is expressed as “good” which comes from the Hebrew work tob… joy unspeakable. That first emotion sets the tone, sets the bar. God delights in what he does and he wants nothing less for us.”

Of Mess and Moxie, Jen Hatmaker

  • Why I loved it: Jen is hilarious and inspiring. She captures motherhood — and she has her hands full to say the least, so she knows the job well. One of my favorite quotes in the book she attributed to Brennan Manning: “Many people between the ages of 30 and 60, whatever their stature in the community and whatever their personal achievements, undergo what can truly be called a second journey. The second journey begins when we know we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the morning program.” It’s good.

Unscripted, Ernie Johnson Jr.

  • Why I loved it: This one is especially for the men but good for everyone. I pick up books like this so I can better understand my boys. Ernie is a long-time NBA commentator and the books takes us through his journey, including a fierce battle with cancer. I loved this concept: “God has given us many moments that blessed us and blessed those who seek them. I call those blackberries (blackberry moments). If get get too tied up in what we’re doing in our jobs, in the game, in whatever it is, we miss them, and when we do, we’re missing out on so much.”

Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes

  • Why I loved it: I heard 100 times how great this was before I picked it up. It IS that good. Go get this one for sure. It’s fun, useful and is exactly what the title says about making a decision to get out and say yes to things, including and especially those that scared Shonda.

Braving the Wilderness, Brene Brown

  • Why I loved it: Another amazing work from Brene who has blessed us with game-changing TED Talk, “The Power of Vulnerability,” and three other terrific books. Brene is a research professor at the University of Houston and lives out a life of impact. She covers why joy and pain are collective journeys, including the need to “show up” to experience these with those you love and why it is so powerful. So many good concepts that you really should read the book.

She’s Still There, Chrystal Evans Hurst

  • Why I loved it: I think this is her first book. She comes from a family of writers and musicians. I have to say, this was an amazing read. She could have titled it different, but it is full of great insights and inspiration. One idea I noted and love, “Schedule celebration moments monthly.” Love that.

Quiet, Susan Cain

  • Why I loved it: There is a reason this book has earned so much notoriety. It’s one about introverts, and as someone who is just over the edge into being an extrovert, I adored this book and the science and thinking behind the work. This should be a must-read for anyone who works with people, including parents. One of the thoughts: “One genuine relationship is worth a fistful of business cards.” True, true and true!

Black Privilege, Charlamagne tha God

  • Why I loved it: I loved it because it is SO out of my normal category of books. The language and approach aren’t quite my cup of tea but, we MUST learn and grow by understanding others and this is a great way to do it. Charlamagne is a popular co-host on the nationally syndicated hip-hop iHeart Radio program the Breakfast Club, and a featured television personality. He tells his story in a way that makes you feel like you were a part of it. His quote: “If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this book, it’s that privilege is something that everyone can access.” It’s worth your time.

Tribe of Mentors, Tim Ferris

  • Why I loved it:  Tim Ferris may be my favorite author at the moment. Last year he wrote Tools of Titans and his famous 4-hour work week, that he wrote a few years ago, are both best sellers. This book is essentially “short life advice” from who he considers some top contemporary influencers in our society today. It’s easy to read and full of wonderful ideas. He asks the same series of questions to these influencers and showcases their answers. My favorite question was: “What advice would you give to a smart, driven college student about how to enter the “real world?” With 200 answers to this, I think I sent 50 to my boys… Brilliant format and a must-read.

Let me know if you end of reading any of these. I’d love to hear your thoughts. Enjoy!

Getting to minimalism

It’s quite a topic. In fact, it’s #trending. Maybe it’s because it’s January and the holiday clutter is coming down. Or maybe it’s the overload of spending that happens as we celebrate. Or maybe you are disturbed by our culture and how we are lured into needing to have the latest and greatest (enter material item here).

If you’ve ever walked into the bedroom of a modern-day child, you’ve probably been overwhelmed by the amount of toys, and frankly, clutter. I don’t doubt they all came from friends and family with great intentions, but it’s still overwhelming. It’s like that feeling of opening the trunk of the car, the coat closet or that junk drawer and watching items fall out. Or when you look in one of those sacred spaces and realize you don’t even remember where some of the junk even came from.

Recently, I moved two times in just more than a year. I swear I purged and cleaned, but somehow it feels like a small army could come through and take enough stuff for their troops and I might not even notice. I’m not proud of that, and it’s disturbing because it doesn’t line up with my personal core values. These things somehow snuck in.

Might I suggest the Becoming Minimalist website? It’s about inspiring people to pursue their true and greatest passions by owning fewer possessions. Who wouldn’t want their lives simplified? Having less clutter makes way for more open space, and that frees up our minds to think and create. That, I believe, is where we get to the part about pursuing what is really important to us.

I like the tone of the website, encouraging “each reader to discover their own journey and the far-reaching benefits that come from owning less.” They pretty much leave it up to us to define what the word means for you and your family. This seems appropriate, since we all have different ideas, priorities and habits. I’ll list some of the benefits in one of the blog posts below, but preface it with this: They are good. In fact, I highly recommend you log on read more of their material as you process the idea of minimizing this week.

  • Spend Less (my favorite)
  • Less Stress
  • Easier to Clean
  • More Freedom
  • Good for the Environment
  • Be more Productive
  • Example for my Kids
  • Support other Causes (Money is only as valuable as what we choose to spend it on.)
  • Own higher quality items
  • Be happier

Those are reasons enough for me to focus on this.

I checked in with my friend I mentioned in Sunday’s blog and she said her family has had a lot of fun picking out items to donate, sell or give away during the first few days of the new year. She mentioned how “freeing” it was and that her kids are enjoying it, too!

There are a few other books on this topic. If you know of a good one, share it in the comments. The month of January is a great time to start books – and projects – like these! As for me, I think I’ll start with that drawer that has all of the kitchen tools in it. I’m not sure what some of them even are. (And to my boys reading this, this is your cue to laugh out loud.) 

VICTORY

I love these examples of VICTORY listed in good ol’ Merriam-Webster dictionary:

VICTORY lap

The general led the troops to VICTORY.

The passage of the law was a tremendous VICTORY for their cause.

It was a decisive VICTORY over the other team.

On Sunday, our family friends that play for the Buffalo Bills franchise had a BIG DAY!

After playing for 12 years as a pro bowl defensive tackle, Kyle Williams finally led his team to a playoff game!

The picture the Bills posted on social media says it all. Pure victory! We are so excited for him, and although we will cheer for our Chiefs, we love to see others be victorious! It’s one of the best parts of life, watching others succeed!

The picture inspired the post today.

One of you fine folks listed VICTORY as your word of the year. What would it look like to be VICTORIOUS at the end of 2018? Heck, what would it look like to be VICTORIOUS over the next few days?

I think I’m going to put this picture somewhere I can see it on a regular basis. It defines VICTORY. The effort, over time, to be consistent, disciplined and to showcase true grit and excellence is what I want to be about! That my friends is a VICTORIOUS life, and those moments should be celebrated!

Live, succeed.

Happy New Year to the BEST! I am so thankful for my readers!

I thought today for “Simple Thoughts Sunday” it would be good to share a practice that I feel is very helpful in processing your year. Tsh Oxenreider, author and founder of The Art of Simple crafted 20 questions that will help you think through the nitty gritty of the past year.

The process should help you set your focus and intentions on what you hope to achieve during this next trip around the sun. Here you go…

What was the single best thing that happened this year?

What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

What was an unexpected joy this past year?

What was an unexpected obstacle?

Pick three words to describe this past year.

Pick three words your partner, best friends or family, would use to describe your year- don’t ask them; guess based on how you think they see you.

Pick three words for them based on their year, again, without asking.

What were the best books books you read this year?

Who were your most valuable relationships with?

What was your biggest personal challenge from January-December?

In what ways did you grow emotionally?

In what ways did you grow spiritually?

In what ways did you grow physically?

In what ways did you grow in your relationships with others?

What was the most enjoyable part of your work, both professionally and at home?

What was the most challenging part of the same?

What was your single biggest time waster?

What was the best way you used your time?

What was the biggest thing you learned?

Create a phrase or statement that describes this past year for you.

(By the way, this is really hard for me this year… It’s been a “gritty” year and sometimes it seems like I haven’t made a lot of progress. I’m praying God reveals more to me over the next few days because one thing I have learned, is that progress isn’t always apparent at first!)

I hope you have a wonderful celebration today. I am excited to see what 2018 brings and believe fully that God will show up BIG in every single detail.