To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Home

High-stakes questions leverage personal growth

How do I get better? How can the team, be it my family at home, or at the office, get better?

I think about this often and have said frequently in the last decade, “cater to my success, not my ego.” (A lesson I learned from a fellow panelist that will never leave me. Note to self: Always pay attention… Everyone can teach you something.) A change up from my early career when I “needed” that validation that I was headed in the right direction. We absolutely have to ask this question and truly want honest feedback. It is my thought that moving to new levels requires a desire to get to the layers that are not always apparent blind spots, if you will.

On a podcast episode I listened to earlier this week – the Tony Robbins Podcast – there was a great discussion about high stakes and high-leverage strategies. The profound lesson here is that this is not rocket science. It’s not a 12-step process, nor something that we need extravagant degrees in order to put into play and be successful. Asking the right easy questions is the message I took away. And better yet, putting in place a cadence in your life, at work, home or wherever life finds you so that you develop “mental models” for how you are going to process life, learn and grow. When something happens, starting with this easy question, “What is one thing I would change?” can alone be powerful if we ask it consistently and build an arsenal of information that helps inform us so that we can make better decisions next time. Lean in a bit, ask “tell me more,” versus jumping in believing you are adding value when presented with a question or need for advice. Holding on long enough to get to deeper information can help us achieve higher levels of tangible impact.

So much good information surrounds us. I love that part of society today. There are endless ways we can engage and literally no excuse at any age for slowing down our learning.

My hope is that this inspires you a bit to ask yourself, “What is one thing?” One thing to be a better leader, better parent, better friend, better daughter, son, grandchild, sister, community member, neighbor… Or on your next project – be it trying a new recipe or wrapping up a significant project at the office – asking honestly and boldly: What is that one thing that would have elevated this experience?” What if we all do this and make a collective impact? There is power in that my friends.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: 3 strategies to WIN the day

Win the day! We truly need to try to WIN every day! I am reminded (it seems weekly) that life is short and tomorrow is not promised.

What are some ideas around this thought?

  1. Start with what WINNING is to you! What brings you true joy? (Yes, that can include your career, school, etc.) Who are your “must haves,” as in I can’t imagine my life without [enter your closest friends and family names here]?
  2. inventory your schedule, specifically the last 90 days. Does your time line up with your definition?
  3. Align what your version of WINNING is with your next 90 days. Schedule that coffee date, start reading that book, connect with what or who fills you up.

Here’s to a week filled with owning a life that allows you to full on seek and find JOY.

A learner’s mindset: Open heart, open mind and creative solutions

What can you do that you could not do a year ago?

What are some challenges your organization is facing?

Are your ideas and strategies innovative enough? Are they creating the meaningful impact you’d like in your work, family, community work, etc.?

What are you passionate about and wanting to spend more time doing?

What does the world need more of?

I was inspired by this idea of being better explorers of our world by Beth Comstock’s ‘Imagine it Forward.’ Solving today’s problems will require different thinking and approaches. I am confident that we all have the capacity to tackle them if we go forward with a learner’s mindset.

If we can keep our focus on constant learning – whether it be from peacefully watching a flock of birds and their patterns, diving into a good book, or engaging in conversation with someone who has a different interest or approach to life – I am confident we will be able to use that information to supercharge our thinking and creativity.

I hope you join me in getting out from behind your desk and regular routine to get out there and explore. The world is waiting for us.

Rewind! This is a throwback post – Cheering you all on as we end this week strong!

The small moments become the big memories

Cheering on a baby walking for the first time…

Encouraging the completion of a sentence in “Goodnight Moon.”

Celebrating family birthdays every year.

Raising a glass in honor of your friends.

Snapping a photo of the season’s first snow fall.

This is the last of this brief series on the importance of celebrations. It seemed appropriate to point out that celebrating and honoring others should be a consistent effort for each of us. I feel that it’s in the small moments we capture the essence of life, and that is where we ultimately feel the abundance it has to offer.

This week, I hope you will:

  • Jump on the bed…
  • Make time for a good ol’ fashioned pillow fight…
  • Go get cupcakes or ice cream, just for the fun of it…
  • Honor a teacher or coach with a meaningful message or small gift…
  • Thank the barista at your local coffee shop for waking early every day…
  • Throw a spontaneous dance party to the unexpected audience (even if it’s just your pets)…
  • Celebrate yourself for being the intentional badass that you are, slaying your goals every day….

What ways could you bring the celebration of small moments to your life?

Today, I celebrate each of you!

What if? The impact we could make would be huge…

What if we all took some time this week to ask ourselves this question? What if we started the same conversation topic around every table we find ourselves at this week? Kitchen table? Board room? At bingo night? Over a card game? What if?

There is profound power to be found in this. The power to improve lives. The power to be a blessing that someone has no idea is about to hit them. The power to scale a mountain (or perceived barrier). The power to upend the status quo. The power to use our gifts in such a way that those around us are all better for it.

What if…

What if you knew the woman in front of you in the carpool line was just diagnosed with cancer, and she is silently being courageous for her kids, though she desperately needs support? What if the family at church that seems to have it all together really doesn’t, and is struggling to pay their electric bill? What if your child knew that three kids in their class of 20 don’t have enough to eat at home, let alone have the means to sign up for organized soccer. (By the way, statistics show it may actually be more than three. Folks, there are a lot of people that leverage their lives on credit cards, trying to act as if they are fine. Sadly, it’s the American way.)

We can take this into the work place, our retirement communities and many other directions.

We so often get caught up in our own lives. What do I need to accomplish? What is going on with my family? How am I going to navigate the busy fall schedule?

What if we put all of that aside and shift the conversation to others?

There’s power in dialing the focus over to how to use our gifts – time, talent, resources, treasure – for other people. How about we move in the direction of making an impact on those around us? A simple Google search can tell you, for example, the number of people who are food insecure in your zip code (check out feedingamerica.org). What if we all grab a friend, and identify a school, or some other community within our neighborhood to impact together?

WHAT IF?

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Love, baby, love! (How to do your best as we step into a new school year and season.)

No surprises here with this message. Most of us know that LOVING well is not only important, but it is the best part of life, without a doubt. When God surrounds us with the people we need to love on, our hearts overflow.

Today, I thought it may be good to talk about what that might look like when seasons change – kids start school, go off to college, mom or dad move into a retirement community… you get my drift. Transitions can take us off of our path. Like when your friend, family member or coworker isn’t responding how they normally would, or when your sweet little toddler develops their own opinions about… everything. It can be hard to know how to love well. Does anyone else feel that?

What comes to mind for me is that loving well depends on a few key things. Today, my stand out is listening well. I have sometimes gotten this right, but oftentimes not so much. Looking back on my own children’s experience – and many others who have been part of my life – often these transitions and “impact seasons” have to be processed. Processing takes time and patience, because everyone is different in how they go about this. Some want to talk it out, some want to distract themselves and not hit it head on, some want to run and hope they don’t ever have to deal with this passing phase. No matter what, if we can just listen, observe, take it in and pray for a deeper understanding of how we can love the best “right now,” I believe God will provide us the direction we need to love well.

It may sound easy, like a simple thought, but honestly I feel this is the most challenging and intention is required. How can you listen well and love well this week?

Praying for everyone to have a strong wrap to August and a wonderful week.

A call to the people in your story

Who has been a key part of your story? Probably a lot of great influencers, and people who have walked alongside you at all ages. I don’t remember much from elementary school, but my immediate family stands out. There were a couple of friends I recall, though not so much their names, from middle school skate parties and endless sleepovers. High school and college have many stand outs, from dear friends, to teachers and even early bosses. My career has provided great leaders, and awful managers; those who have mentored me, and those I have mentored. My mind can also see what seems like hundreds of faces of people who have impacted me with their stories of bravery, courage and otherwise living out lives of excellence and humility on a day in and day out basis.

Here’s the idea today: We need to reflect. We need to take the time to look back and see how the right people have been placed right where we needed them – at just the right time. It is so cool how life seems designed to provide the hope we needed in a moment, the lesson that we perhaps didn’t know we needed, or the courage to rise to the occasion of something or for someone that really needed our support. Our journeys are so much better thanks to these people – many of them surrounding us right this moment. You know what is great? We have the opportunity to let them know about that impact.

As it’s still back-to-school season, I thought it was the perfect time for this little “assignment.” Who is in with me on calling out those people who have been key to your life, and reaching out with a big thank you? By Friday, let’s each identify at least 3 people, and go spread some gratitude and joy? I know it will make all of the difference. Have an awesome week!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Abundance is…

Abundance is… Fill in the blank for yourself and for your family today. What does that look like and feel like?

Here’s the thing, I truly believe in the idea that God wants us to experience abundant life – fully in, fully giving and receiving all the love that we can handle. The scripture, “His power at work in us can do far more than we dare ask or imagine,” from Ephesians 3:20 is so strong in revealing that what we think is likely not even scratching the surface of what we can experience through the gifts He has given us. I love that.

So, back to the first question: What is it for you? Where’s a solid place to start this week? Abundance to me feels like so many things, but it starts with the people God has put in my path. It continues with nurturing those through encouragement, listening, healthy conversations, a ton of fun and a lot of just doing life together.

Abundance is in the everyday to me, whether it’s strolling through the market, watching the children giggle, or the older couples hand in hand, wondering what journey life has taken them through. Abundance is travel and admiring other cultures for their traditions and witnessing unbelievable joy in those who might not have much, and yet they have everything.

Abundance… what is it to you?

The happiness blog

What a wonderful question! So… what do you think? Who are you with when you are the happiest? 

Do you feel warm and settled in with family? Game night? Holidays? A simple stroll through the neighborhood, sharing about your day? 

Perhaps you’re happiest when grabbing a cup of coffee with a trusted confidant?

Or maybe it’s adventuring the world with your best friend? 

Better yet – riding down a country road with a great playlist while your dog enjoys the breeze out the back window?

Happy? What does it even mean, and does it really matter? To me it is feeling free to be fully myself; to have someone share the full experience of life… bringing the fun and adventurous in one moment, and diving into a deep conversation in the next. (For the record, Merriam-Webster showcases happy as contentment, well-being, glad, pleased, atmosphere of fellowship.)  All of that sounds okay but for me not enough... happy should be pure and bold joy!

And regarding the whole “does it matter” part: of course it does! I hope your heart would give a resounding YES to that question, but in case you didn’t know, the topic is backed by science. A 2005 paper found that happiness predicts lower heart rates and blood pressure. In the study, participants rated their happiness over 30 times in one day, and then again three years later – a significant study. Your happiness level also impacts productivity. Researchers find that there is a 12 percent increase in productivity when people are happy and a 10 percent decrease when unhappy. I don’t know about you but I can’t afford to lose 10 percent of my days. (These are only a couple of studies… if you need more reason I’d be happy to fill up your inbox… think lowering stress, improving immunity, etc.).

All of that information was not surprising to me at all, but nevertheless, powerful if you take it in fully. I hope that in some way, bringing this to your attention prompts you to shift your focus on understanding what and who makes you the happiest. For me, it is worth my time and energy because life is fleeting, as we were all reminded this week with the tragedies happening across our nation and even locally. I want to spend every minute I can with those that help me thrive and grow! 

So… it seems like a really good time to consider stirring up some happiness! How about calling that amazing friend and scheduling a summer sunset experience or perhaps a long chat on one of the many great patios around town. The options are endless.

Have an incredible week!

What is your joy game plan?

“THE LAKE...” – One of the all time best places in the world. Who doesn’t love that feeling when you pull into your vacation destination (even if it’s just a weekend)? Unpacking the car, the snacks, the books/magazines, pool or lake side supplies… That alone gives me joy. The thought of after a long day on the water, (any water), with beach towels hanging over the deck, or strewn across the room… It also, gives me a rush of happiness.

But what about that good-tired feeling where everyone just collapses to watch some simple but fun comedy, or perhaps play a game or some cards if that’s how your tribe rolls? So refreshing!

Summer is prime time for a change up of routine. A time to set apart some time for seeking joy, fun and adventure. A time to shake off the daily grind and those things that can, at times, add up to stress that’s not serving you. (Yes, scientists do say, that stress does in fact serve us… more on that in another post.)

It is the perfect season of the year to bring back your favorite childhood memories. Mine revolve around the lake. Where do you find yourself smiling just thinking about those moments? A dear friend who I love, recently told me that hers were around long road trips across the country with her family, camper in tow, spontaneously stopping at super-cool, sometimes-random spots across the United States. I loved that and could immediately visualize the joy.

Before we get too deep into the summer, if you haven’t already I hope that you will put together your “joy game plan.” Whether it’s a staycation, a weekend full of lake hopping around our many beautiful local parks, or a longer trip… The only rule is to make sure it refreshes your soul. There is huge power in that. I would even call it a game-changer for you and those you love.

“A change of pace plus a change of place equals a change of perspective.””

– Mark Batterson

Perspective often improves our path, including generating massive creativity and better decision making.

Have the best wrap to your week, and an amazing weekend. If you have time, I know everyone would love to hear your “joy game plan” via the comments. It just might inspire someone and create a ripple.