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A healthy balance is not a 50/50 split

(Photo Creds: We Heart it)

Striking a balance…

This topic is so popular and yet one that continues to mystify the generations. Someone at a bridal shower I attended shared that the secret to a long marriage is not to believe that it is a 50/50 encounter, but one that SHIFTS and CHANGES from season to season, and sometimes from moment to moment.

I recall the sweet older lady saying, “Dear, sometimes it requires 100 percent on your part because he cannot give any at that time, and sometimes you only have to give a bit, because he is carrying the load.”

I’m not sure sure if science would back this up, but I feel that it especially holds true in most relationships… including the one’s we have that compete with one another, work/home, etc.

I use that often as a story when talking to young professionals about their inevitable goal of achieving a healthy work/life balance.

The truth is it’s pretty much the same as the marriage story. At times home requires more for many possible reasons, and sometimes work requires more. It’s just that simple. The greatest disservice we can do to ourselves is to create a narrative in our minds that we are only going to strike a balance that “feels” good all of the time. Defaulting to a 50/50 split is common, and I would say unwise for most of us.

Set yourself up to succeed by creating a healthy mental narrative. Each week try to determine where the “chips may fall” so to speak, and my suggestion is to be transparent with your family, and hopefully in your work place (if at all possible) as to what everyone can expect that week. It’s truly amazing how understanding others are and how much better we all feel when we are honest about where we need to be that week. If you struggle at all with this, please feel free to message me. I absolutely love this topic and would love the opportunity to help if I can!

Heard at home: “I wish I was in Kindergarten right now”

This is terrific! Oh, how wonderful Kindergarten is. My boys had some amazing Kindergarten teachers, they got to take naps, color, sing, join hands with their class, and basically learn the important things in a well lived life.

When my son said this the other day, I laughed out loud. Is this not the truest statement? Even if for just a bit of our day, this time is down right THE BEST. If only we knew then what we know now.

When I was searching for the photo for the post, I came upon a quote, “Dear Kingergartners, if you don’t want your nap today, please send over to the high school.” There was another one, “Dear Naps, I am sorry I was such a jerk to you in Kindgergarten.” Ha!

Well, this post is just to make you laugh a bit, but we for sure can always use the reminder to appreciate the little things. I hope your weekend is great, and if it rains, I hope you will go do something wild and crazy like a Kindergartner… stomp in the mud, color and of course… NAP!

Adventures of traveling with mom

I had the opportunity to take my mom on a business trip this week which we made into a long weekend and Easter celebration. I had no idea how this would go, but it was a joy with a lot of laughs.

My point is that if you have a living parent, an aunt/uncle or someone dear to you and you have the opportunity, try to make it happen. The very idea of it might overwhelm you at first, and if it does, give me a call. I’ll tell you my story and maybe it will help. I want to thank Dr. Mark Box, and Nancy Levota for inspiring me to take the leap! You both really inspire me!

Here are some things I learned (or was reminded of):

She’s a bit like me… I mean, when the fire alarm went off, she didn’t leave the room. I always think it’s a test (and it was), but that’s not the brightest conclusion… but we lived, so that’s for another day. Just an insight that in some way, shape or form, most of us end up like our parents.

She reminded me to stop and smell the roses and TO STAY AMAZED. I got a kick out of how her wonder of looking at the ocean was like a child. It was really cool actually. I too often don’t stop, although I honestly try. I can do better.

We all need to stop and celebrate. We toasted with real and virgin pina coladas, mai tais and iced tea. You really should do this with those that don’t expect it (AKA, in my world, older adults…).

She DIDN’T like the airport full-body, pat-down screening. Once again, being reminded that our WORLD IS CHANGING was good for her… Our world could use some simplicity, the kind technology doesn’t offer.

I hope this sparks your thinking! Do share if you decide to make the leap. I think even a trip to the zoo would be a delight!

Be the ripple!

(Photo Creds: givesevendays.org)

Take a moment to watch this awesome video clip!

That video tells the story better than I can, but the bottom line is that a group of super-cool people that are trying to change the world by helping to re-write the story on how we all approach the differences we have and how they are sometimes dealt with. As our world becomes increasingly diverse, it is incumbent upon us take time to learn about other cultures and religions, and create a better understanding!

I wanted to use my blog this week as a platform to showcase the great events that are being held starting April 18 in Kansas City. The events are listed here. The events promise to provide us with a fresh perspective and help us ignite how we can MAKE A RIPPLE in our communities. If you aren’t local, take some time to review their website and the events. The great leaders behind GIVESEVENDAYS are often out in many communities across our country. If your community hasn’t rallied around this and you believe it’s important, let me know and I’ll put you in touch with the right folks to make it happen.

I hope your schedule will allow you to attend one or more of the events. If you are free Monday, April 24th, the week culminates with an evening walk that is a fabulous show of community unity! This year it will be held at Union Station, which is one of KC’s true historic landmarks and a beautiful place to celebrate.
I look forward to seeing some of you there! I know you will be inspired.

(partial repost from April 2016)

Safety or adventure? You choose.

(Photo Creds: We Heart it; Grand Gunderson)

Sunnier days! We are all ready for that! You might be looking at the coming summer months ahead and planning a road trip, a “bucket list” trip or something else like hanging out by the pool.

One of our local magazines featured several road trip ideas within a “tank of gas” from Kansas City. It was a fun read, and I truly believe there are so many little towns across the country that would have a lot to offer for a someone out on an adventure, even if that’s an antique hunt!

Here’s the idea to contemplate today: Will you choose SAFETY OR ADVENTURE as you plan out the free moments in your life? Will you be afraid to launch out and do something you’ve never done? (Blaming it on lack of energy, funds or something else.) Or, will you set forth on an adventure and go out and LIVE?

I truly believe I spent too many weekends at home when I was younger thinking for some reason that I was saving money, or choosing the better path. Today, I believe and KNOW that you can go on an adventure, whether it’s close to home (think sailing/kayaking on Shawnee Mission Lake) or not, and that ADVENTURE OFFERS PERSPECTIVE. It can cost little to nothing and still deliver an experience that allows you to get OUT of the everyday patterns of life.

As the warmer days show up, I hope that you will put some time into thinking about what ADVENTURES you can dream up over the next few months. Grab a family member or a long lost friend and enjoy ALL THAT LIFE OFFERS. You’ll be REFRESHED and add MEMORIES that will enrich you with HAPPINESS!

Simple thoughts Sunday: A week of Expectations and Hope

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

What a beautiful day we are having today, the Saturday before Palm Sunday and the launch of Holy Week for Christians.

I love that the various religions have their special celebrations. For us, this is perhaps the greatest celebration. As Christians, we believe that Jesus came to earth in the image of God, lived a perfect life, was persecuted for his faith and three days later was resurrected.

This simple story is deep with HOPE and EXPECTATION for our religion. It is a story that, when “peered” into deeply, showcases that despite our human transgressions and the raw parts of this world, we have hope in a “risen” savior that promises an eternity of peace and beauty.

The human struggle has been on vivid display this week with the bombings in Syria. For those that hold on closely to the news, anxieties rise. For those with children or family serving our country, it is downright painful to watch and wonder where this might head. This is one example, there are of course hundreds more that grab our attention and show our vulnerability and weaknesses as a human race.

I have always found GREAT HOPE in the POWER OF THE EASTER STORY. As you go into this week, I hope that no matter your religion, you will consider what a life changing message HOPE brings. Hope gives us the expectations that just maybe, there is a RAY OF SUNSHINE at the end of our times of struggle. I LOVE HOPE! I need HOPE! I know you do, too!

Praying many blessings for all of you this week!

Introducing WAFFLES! Because we all need to have more fun!

Last Sunday we brought a new puppy into our home. Much to our surprise, it was incredibly difficult to come up with the PERFECT name. We had some great ideas from friends and family across the country, so thank you! We also had some challenging family group texts… it seemed we couldn’t reach consensus. I wanted a name that represented this stage of life: strong, adventurous, travel, brave… We just couldn’t seem to nail it down and now I know why – I needed a change of heart.

One (late) night – during the puppy’s midnight “wake up and go out…” session – I laid awake thinking about changing my direction. My mind went to something FUN, something that would make us all laugh. I was going to wake up and research fun, giddy & humor in all languages and come up with a few new ideas to toss out to the family. I think my initial idea is still good, but LIFE CAN BE PRETTY CHALLENGING, so adding a SPARK OF FUN made total sense.

When I woke up, one of my boys had sent a few names on a late night text. One being WAFFLES. It was JUST PERFECT!

How can you call the name WAFFLES and not laugh? Not only is she the color of waffles, but my boys often visit Waffle House with Pa Pa Mallory. So, there you have it…  FUN, APPROPRIATE and IT BRINGS UP GREAT MEMORIES of someone we all LOVE.

I had a few folks suggest I share this for today’s blog post! Can’t wait to share more puppy stories along the way! I hope it will challenge you to incorporate FUN into your life this week!

The Language of Rain

(Photo Creds: We Heart It)

Rain. Rain can be…

Generous

Giving

Replenishing…

And at the same time….

Painful

Desperate

Overwhelming….

I wonder if the language of rain helps us understand how we can wrap our heads around serving better. The picture painted in Ann Voskamp’s the Broken Way, is on point: “The abundant life doesn’t have a bucket list, as much as it has an empty bucket – the giveness of pouring out.” I for sure feel like my “bucket” is full when I am pouring out versus being poured upon.

Our lives certainly experience all matter of “rain,” both the refreshing kind and the drenching kind. Today, let’s focus on the filling/refreshing of others who are being flooded with life right now. I think it’s interesting that if you decide that you are going to be more aware of those in need, that you start to see need around every corner it seems. Honestly, I dare you to actually do this, because it shifts and shapes your own perspective. Your fellow co-worker, an extended family member struggling and sharing on Facebook, perhaps someone much closer. We need rain and we need each other to fill those buckets with encouragement and service.

Let’s go out today with the goal to REFRESH.

Simple Thoughts Sunday – God Ideas!

(Photo creds: Pinterest)

This week we are going to talk about IDEAS!

We did the same at the end of last March. I don’t know about you, but I have an “itch” for spring (just not spring allergies!), and am ready to rev up the engines for a terrific second quarter of the year.

I feel like we are all always holding GREAT HOPE that we will have IDEAS that create something special, something fun, meaningful and perhaps even INCREDIBLE. An idea that brings our family closer, elevates our career, fills our financial needs, or brings meaning to those things we care about passionately.

I fully BELIEVE that “GOD IDEAS” (A God idea is one that you can’t stop thinking about; one that has grabbed your heart; one that surely must have come from God) are quite possible for us to attract if we simply give our lives to God in prayer and faith. As the picture captures so perfectly: Make Him your first priority and He promises a fulfilled life.

My prayers for you this week are for you to be inspired by GOD IDEAS and that HOPE continues to RISE in your heart as Easter draws near!

Love and technology help the world go ’round

(Photo Creds: My Own)

South by Southwest (SXSW), the “convergence of the interactive, film and music industries” is an annual event (since 1987) held in the ultra-fun city of Austin Texas.

Over the 30 years, it has grown in scope and size and the “coolness” factor is off of the charts. Technology has become a key player and big names such as Twitter were launched into the public conscious at SXSW. (A bit of research shared that Twitter only paid $11,000 in 2007 to host some signage at the event… and from there, they were able to blow up their brand. Influence grew from there.)

All of that said, SXSW seems to be a great place for those “game changer” hopefuls to see and be seen. I personally haven’t been – though hopefully next year! – but have been a “follower” for a few years.

Here’s what stands out to me: technology is the single greatest influencer in our lives right now. Well, that and love… One helps the other is what I’ve found. When you bring it together with music and the arts, it’s a marriage made in the heavens.

Just why is that? The tools of technology have helped us simple humans express love in more active ways. It’s pretty cool that on your birthday, your friends and family from all generations of life can send you a greeting and spread the love and good energy. That’s an easy example. I also love that my mom can text now and that alone has given us an opportunity to cheer one another on, which didn’t exist at that level prior that technology. Instagram and Snapchat allow us to share visuals that bring us joy.

(But, of course, technology can also be blamed for mass sharing of negative. To be honest, my feeds are 95+% positive so in my opinion, we have the ability to scroll or swipe past the “stuff” that makes us crazy… our choice.)

Two key messages today:

  • Embrace technology and the “movements” such as the annual SXSW event that help leverage those into our world… (By the way, I have listed below the various tracks at this year’s event so you can see the diversity and potential impact to our society.)
  • As crazy as technology can sometimes make us, FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE and that it is a  TREMENDOUS VEHICLE FOR LOVE… sharing and growing. We can use this to our advantage and create a world that we all would love to be a part of.

Finally, for all of those that wished me a happy birthday, I want to thank you! Sometimes I get busy and don’t take the time to utilize that awesome feature on Facebook, so I greatly appreciate all of those that took the time to reach out! It  means the world to me that you did. KEEP ON SPREADING THE LOVE.

SWSW17 TRACKS:

  • Brands and Marketing
  • Design
  • Development & Code
  • Government
  • Health
  • Intelligent Future
  • Style
  • Tech Industry
  • Workplace
  • Entertainment influencers
  • Film & TV Industry
  • Making Films & Episodics
  • Making Music
  • Music Industry
  • Music Influencers
  • Touring & Live Experience
  • CLE  (Continuing Legal Education)
  • Experiential Storytelling
  • Food
  • Journalism
  • Social Impact
  • Sports
  • Startup Village
  • VR/AR (Virtual/Augmented reality technologies)