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Q&A with two new college grads (my sons): A perspective on our new world

What fun to have had Tucker and Joe home the last several weeks. It was not at all the plan we had for this season, but the dinner time conversations and the connections have been very special. I imagine over the years we will treasure this time. The “ring” day celebration at Texas A&M and the graduation weekends in College Station and Gainesville have all been adapted and remapped. This year’s “ritual” celebrations are on deck for deliberation.

This year brings us new opportunities to rethink our lives, and so I wondered what a new college grad may be thinking. It seems nothing is as it was just two months ago, when the boys were on pace with interviews and job offers that would have launched their post-grad career. That seems like it may as well have been 4 years ago now. What must they really be thinking? Concern? Confusion? Relief?

I was curious, so I interviewed them. I hope you all find it as interesting as I did. There were a few unexpected thoughts I gained and lessons that I know impacted me. How much fun (and actually profound) is it to learn from the next generation? Pure delight if you ask me.

Q: Was college what you expected?

Joe: I went in without an expectation really. I knew it would take more effort than high school… harder classes…

Tucker: This is a difficult question to answer. I have found that we all head into periods of transition in life with an idea of what might happen, and college is no exception. In most cases, things do not turn out how we hoped they would, but they work out exactly how they were meant to for our personal growth. For me, my college experience epitomizes this idea.

Q: Was it better than expected? Worse?

Joe: My view is it’s a tool to get you a job within your chosen career. It was a good experience.

Tucker: Looking back, college was better than I expected because of the growth I experienced and the lessons I learned. There were moments when it felt like things could not get any worse, but I found that these are the times that make you stronger. As cliche as that is, it’s true. A major lesson I learned in college was to embrace the difficult times because, more often than not, you will come out on the other side better for it.

Q: What was surprising?

Joe: I was definitely planning on graduating in four years and still feel like I could have if I had known a few things. It was surprising that many of the classes from junior college don’t transfer over, and I wish I had known that.(We found out about a semester too late that this is super common with the junior college combination… Maybe a lesson to be learned for someone else here.)

Tucker: Each year of college brought its own surprises, but the biggest shock to me was the amount of freedom you are given. When you leave home and get to your college campus, the only person to truly hold you accountable is yourself. No one is there to wake you up, prepare your meals, or make you go to class. College requires an immense amount of self-discipline, and figuring all of this out is all part of the process.

Q: Would you recommend junior college?

Joe: We have one of the best junior college’s in the country here where we live around Overland Park, KS. It is a really smart financial decision for many, and it gives you the opportunity to prepare/level up before going to a larger university.

Tucker: I would definitely recommend junior college. Unless you are totally set on what you want to do and where, considering a junior college is a wise decision. From a financial standpoint, doing this can set you up for financial freedom later down the road. From an academic standpoint, you can get your general courses out of the way while you figure out what you are truly passionate about. There is no shame in attending a junior college for a year or two; as a matter of fact, it’s a pretty smart choice.

Q: Was there a primary takeaway or lesson learned?

Joe: I had the chance to study abroad in a way that wasn’t the norm along with one of my triplet brothers. Our other brother, Sam, was able to with his University and I’d say that this experience for all of us was really important. Everyone that can should take advantage of any opportunity like this. The influence of other cultures and perspectives that you learn is really helpful. I have already been exposed to this in my work and in the community, and having this viewpoint seems really important.

On the lessons learned part, I definitely would say don’t take it so seriously that you impact your sleep, or really general health. It’s hard, there are hard instructors, but it seems to even out and it’s not worth the added stress. Some classes are just hard and you have to own that. (Mom comment: Kind of like life…pure wisdom here!)

Tucker: There are so many lessons I learned in college, but the first one that comes to mind is to stay your course. It is easy to play the comparison game with our peers, friends, family, etc. Everyone is on their own path, everyone has their own challenges, and everyone’s situation is entirely different. Devise a plan, stick to it, and focus on you.

Q: How do you think COVID-19 will impact your next phase?

Joe: I think companies will be rethinking how they do work. I think we will have more opportunity to have more balanced lives, perhaps. I was listening to a podcast about the NFL Draft and its success being virtual this year. The key lessons were that they were now considering if this could be done in this way in the future? Better viewership? Happier leaders/coaches that didn’t have to travel and be away from their families? It seems like the question now is, “Are the positive incremental differences in being live and present at the office or at some place like the draft event enough to warrant the expense in cost and health of the teams?” I think we will see this change our way of life from now on to some degree.

Tucker: This pandemic will absolutely have a major impact on this next stage of life. Obviously, companies are not hiring at the pace they once were, creating an even more competitive job market for recent graduates. As far as how firms operate, I am sure remote work will become a popular option, even when COVID-19 blows over. This is a difficult time to be graduating, but as I discussed earlier in this interview, I will be grateful for this experience years from now.

Q: What are your expectations of a celebration knowing the normal “ritual” events such as graduations have been taken away for now or rescheduled?

Joe: I really don’t have any expectations.

Tucker: For some people, the cancellation of these events is devastating, and understandably so. Walking across the stage at Texas A&M’s Reed Arena would have been a very memorable way to wrap up my college years, but an at-home celebration with my close friends and family is perfectly fine with me.

Q: If you had a magic wand and could change or recreate anything about the college experience, what would it be?

Joe: I wouldn’t change anything. I take it all as learning and where I am supposed to be at the moment.

Tucker: I would not change anything. In my eyes, everything unfolded exactly how it was supposed to. Everything we go through and experience is what allows us to learn, grow, and progress.

Q: Favorite instructors?

Joe: None specific, but I could definitely tell those that had passion. It came through in their voice inflection, their command of their subject… the class could feel it.

Tucker: Dr. Sandra Braman (Mass Communication Law) and Dr. Nandra Perry (Bible as Literature) are two awesome instructors at Texas A&M. Both experts in their fields, Dr. Braman and Dr. Perry made coming to class a joy because of their passion, knowledge, and desire to challenge their students

I hope you loved this as much as I did. So much good here! Have a wonderful wrap to this week and I pray that you are finding joy at every turn.

Guest blog: Finding joy while quarantined alone

(Enjoy today’s guest blog from my girl Ashley Jost, who helps keep the site rolling each week!)

From my first day working from home. Mind you, I sold my dining room set and my desk before moving here in December, so the ottoman doubled as a desk for those first few days. Also, note my exceptionally-needy coworker.

Like many others, I didn’t enjoy quarantine at first, though I knew it was the right thing to do. So much of the useful information I gather at work as a communications director comes from being in the presence of others, picking up on the dynamics, the politics and the opportunities. In the name of public health, I cast my selfish woes aside and hoped for the best.

That was mid March, when the mayor of the City of St. Louis announced the quarantine.

Hindsight is 20/20, and I have to admit I probably wasted those first few days – heck, maybe weeks – wallowing. I have friends who are quarantined with family, flooding social media with photos of board games and movie nights. Others are cooped up with spouses/partners, sharing pics of their sourdough starters and renovation projects.

At the time, watching everyone else’s highlight reel, I felt even more alone than I already was in my 650-square foot apartment. I moved here in December, started a new job in January and was still maneuvering my role in this new chapter. What a rush to put all of that progress I had made understanding the culture and relationship building on hold.

There wasn’t really a single moment I can point to as a turning point from the last six weeks. Perhaps it happened gradually. I started to re-create habits I had let go of over time, like reading 10 pages of a professional development book, and spending 15 minutes journaling – every day.

Then the walks started. I’m fortunate enough to be in a neighborhood where I can safely walk and avoid contact with others. I’d walk before my workday began and catch up on old podcasts from Rachel Hollis, soaking in discussions about mindset changes and leading with intention, unknowingly realizing that I was then living that truth once I got home and opened my Macbook.

The walks also made me think about my physical health and how sedentary the first few months at the new job had made me. I was also keenly aware of the impact not having office snacks and unlimited Diet Coke was having on the scale. (Hmm. Another thing to devote my energy to…) Then, one walk became three (sometimes four) walks. I break from my laptop for 20 minutes twice during the typical workday to sneak in a mile, letting Beyonce serenade me as I get my mind right for the next Zoom call.

Developing habits has been a game changer these past ~7 weeks. I’ve reconnected with what’s important to me, become a healthier version of myself both physically and mentally, and certainly (or hopefully, I should say) have become a better friend and colleague to others on my perpetual quest to serve well.

Sometimes, the simplest stories offer nuggets of inspiration. I hope that something about my personal experience during this pandemic hits home to you.

As Lori would say, I am cheering you on. ♥️

The power of now: What is really essential?

The power of the city. Collective unity. Buildings standing tall next to one another as if they are locked arm and arm. In many ways, they actually are. Dependent on one another for sustainability, for community building, for the generation of work for families and societies. The visual is strong and also offers inspiration if we will allow that to filter through our minds.

Our church hosted a virtual sisterhood/girls night last night. It was really, really good. My takeaway question that pastor Liz (@hillsongkc) asked us to consider: What truly is essential right now? As we rethink our lives and patterns, can we stop and ask ourselves what is really essential? In other words: Have I prioritized my one life as I would if I could start over? Redesign and level set against my values and goals? Is what I’m doing right now, or what I have been doing actually bringing me closer to or farther away from what I hope for my life to stand for? What seeds have I been planting? Are they the ones that will eventually produce the harvest I desire for my life? Are they what my family needs in this season?

She shared a personal example, in that she feels God is calling her to invest more time with her middle child. I love that, because I have found that when I listen to God’s promptings, I usually receive a nudge in one direction or another. Someone’s name will pop up out of nowhere it seems, or clear messages will shine right through someone sharing a personal story. Heck, even a billboard may speak to me.

So, where do you need to sow right now?

The image above, to me, was about prayer. I feel that God is saying, “prayer is power… stay with it… stay strong with a constant posture and persistence toward its strength. Stay in prayer over those I have placed in your path, especially your children and eventually their children… don’t let up….don’t get distracted…” I want to sow in prayer and with a sincere request for a listening ear and willing heart to pursue God’s direction and not my own.

What is essential? What actions – what prayers – do I need to take to allow our family to grow, flourish and serve each other and our community in the best way?

Have a powerful week my friends. We need collective unity right now.

The forecast is beautiful and I pray you feel the sunshine deeply rooted in every step you take.

Connectedness forges resiliency…

… and its accrued effect results in stronger, healthier and braver humans. We are all going to suffer, but togetherness is more powerful than pain.”

Jen Hatmaker’s new book, “Fierce, Free and Full of Fire” releases this week officially and it’s pure gold. The excerpt that I put in the graphic is case in point. She covers everything from the need for us to be in community to spiritual curiosity, and all with such thoughtfulness. She easily – and with humor even, takes the reader back in history and brings in science to showcase the truth of human behavior and need. It is one of those books that you just know the world conspired for you to read at just this very time.

I wanted to add why I honed in on the above quote for today’s insight. Quite simply it is crucial. It’s a game changer. We instinctively know this, thus the immediate reaction for many to figure out how to use Zoom, Google Hangouts and other technology to bring us together with our tribes right now.  It’s been such fun to see the posts of family and friends enjoying each other’s company in this new world.

Here’s what I noticed: The first few weeks we did this well. We scrambled, pivoted and found a way forward. We are now in what I think of as the next phase: We have to stay resilient and diligent toward connecting.

Perhaps, even for some, the first few weeks were a welcome change from the grind. Extroverts and introverts alike rejoiced at the time to reboot and find stillness. As we move into yet another week, we must reach out early and often and, if needed, force ourselves to find points of connection. I have a couple of friends and family members that we text often, but I know in my heart that the voice is needed right now. As much as I’m not a “phone” person I need to change that this week, now more than ever.

Let’s be the people that lift up, bring energy and humor and love to our tribes… Text and email are great, but this week, let’s pay attention to actually embracing our loved ones with voice inflection and, if possible, a virtual face-to-face! I truly believe that her thought above is so true: this will bring us collectively greater…

Resiliency
Bravery
Strength &
Health

Cheering everyone on and sending love and prayers –

The gifts of Easter

What does it mean to “have life” and “have it to the full?” This jumped out at me as if reading it for the first time this morning.

If I close my eyes and dwell on that for a moment, I see all that is bright, good, joyful. I see a day at the lake with family and friends. I see our college tribe laughing endlessly. I see my boys on soccer and lacrosse fields and, at this age, seeing their dreams come true after endless hours of studying. I see every post-holiday meal conversation in the living rooms of my grandparents, parents and sister. I see rollercoasters and oceans and the kindness of a door being opened for a young mom. I see an older couple, still nurturing and loving one another, hand in hand, despite those years that have not been filled with joy.

What do you see? What is a full life to you? I love this little girl running through a field. It’s freeing to stop and think about what a full life is, and even going so far as to contemplate what areas of life aren’t quite full right now.

My belief is that God sent his son to live and to die – and of course, the best part: to be resurrected – so that we truly could have life. As our creator, He knew our fragilities and had a plan for that. A plan, that despite what we have gone through, would mean that we would be able to find ourselves in communion with Him. And in doing so, we would find peace, joy, and outrageous and indescribable love. His desire is for us to live fully and bring forth all of the gifts and promises to us, and by using us to bring light to every conversation and to every person across the world.

Wherever this Easter Sunday finds you, know that you are loved beyond your comprehension. My prayer is that his promises fall fresh upon you today.

What do you need today?

So, what do you need today?

What would absolutely brighten your day? Fill your soul? Lighten your load? Spark a fire? Ignite your creativity?

Now, what would it take to go make it happen?

Spring is all about fresh life, hope and joy. Our life is ours to create, to curate, and to actually live – abundantly!

Sounds easy, right? Maybe for some. But in case you are like me and struggle with this at first, I want to share a mind-mapping exercise I use to make this happen each year.

I start by putting each of my life’s main categories (finance, career, family, spiritual etc.) on paper. Then, I develop 2-3 key action items for each one of them to ensure I achieve my personal goals or dreams.

My new addition to this exercise is asking: Where can I add joy – or, what would brighten my days – in each area? For example, instead of “spend more time with my family,” perhaps I could expand that to “embark on a Saturday road trip with my sister by the end of May.” (Assuming it’s safe!)

I’d love to hear your ideas!

Here’s to a great week and the best spring ever – let’s make it so!

In the midst of a cultural reset: shifting to all that is strength

This incredible photo of an Osprey, is courtesy of @_thepaintedsky, aka Jessica Walker, who I happened upon via @annvoskamp’s unbelievably beautiful weekly blog, “Only the Good Stuff: Multivitamins for your Weekend”

This thought narrative of a “cultural reset” came from a post from Rebekah Lyons titled, “Look what we get to do together.” In the spirit of transparency, I needed more than anything this week to shift from bewilderment to my normal operating mode, which is, “what if? What is God working on? What am I to learn from where I am or we are right now, and how do I or we move ahead with bold and positive strength (of ideas, wisdom, peace)?” This idea has me right where I need to be right now, and I wonder if it might be beneficial for you as well. I feel like the universe is saying, “yep, that’s exactly what we need to do.” Shift. Advance to the next step.

This beautiful photograph led me on a trail to find out just what that bird was. The Osprey made its way into the books in 1460 and its name means “bird of prey.” This beautiful creature is an incredible fishing sportsman, catching a meal in at least 1 in every 4 dives. (Goodness, Audrie, why can’t I catch a fish after 100 casts of the line?) Their average time hunting is all of 12 minutes. They are, essentially, badasses. The Osprey also is agile, building nests on the tops of telephone poles and other manmade structures, which makes them unique. In my mind, they look around and see what is available, what is worthy and they make it their place – regardless of where it is.

I have a couple of thoughts stirring. First, as a human, we are at the top of the food chain (so to speak). In other words, God made us the original badasses. We have been given, and are given daily, all that we need. This is pure truth folks. You are strong, you are bold, you are outrageously capable of moving above the current situation and helping create solutions and generating positive energy and ideas that will help lift the human race. We all have a role, whether you are like my mom, hanging out in her retirement community lifting the spirits of others, or, like our team at work – on the front lines – caring for those that aren’t well and watching the news closely (and praying earnestly) so they know what step to take next.

Second, like the Osprey, we may need to look around and be ready to strike and to make it our place. I find such beauty in this. It’s simple. Look around. There is work to be done. Whether you find yourself in the quiet or in the middle of the chaos, God will make it clear where you can use your gifts or resources to move us out of this season. We need to lift our heads outside of our phones and television sets and insist that we acknowledge that we can do something. Even a child or a senior can spend an hour writing encouraging cards to healthcare workers and those in hospital beds that cannot see family right now. Insist that you and your family rise up. (A quick sidebar: One of our staff members and her family recently spent their night sorting scrubs for our front line providers and her children wrote notes to each of them. How cool is that?)

Folks, we ARE in a cultural shift. Our world will be changed after this. We will be talking about this for years – maybe decades. How it shifts is entirely up to us. My prayer is that we will SHIFT into a higher level of ourselves, to a higher awareness on what we can do together and that at the end we find ourselves loving each other better and stronger and even more than we ever have in our world’s history. This is our time to rise.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Be insanely hopeful

Hope is an expectation.

I love the idea of being expectant. Being expectant of more sunshine and less gray skies; of unity instead of division; of love instead of fractured relationships; of optimal health and deep happiness; etc. In the Biblical sense of the word, hope constitutes a confident expectation that God’s promises will come to pass, and that you will indeed receive an answer to prayers and your desires will come to pass.

I love hope. I love insane hope even more. Insane is like, “Yes, this is absolutely going to happen. God is going to show off! He is going to outdo anything my creative mind may have imagined!” Imagine the feeling of barely being able to contain your joy. Can you feel it? “This family vacation isn’t just going to be just fun, but it is going to have a life-changing impact through the conversations we have and the commitment we make to being present.” “I am not just going to finish the race, the hike, the new health goal… I am going to NAIL IT- I am going to not just get by but feel strong and vibrant at the end…” Again, insane hope.

What is your insane hope? Where do you need to think bigger? To believe stronger? To expect great things to happen? What scenarios do you need an extra dose of hope in?

I can think of a few myself. I have always been a glass half-full kind of gal, but I have to be honest: I don’t generally think grand thoughts about what could be. I tend to take a realistic perspective. Perhaps sometimes even leaning into not creating false hopes … maybe I’ve taken that too far. As a girl of faith, I need to grow in this area. I have personally seen God show off, and I suppose that is reason enough to start to believe bigger! 

Let’s be insanely hopeful this week!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Lean into the word

First of all, isn’t this image terrific? I could sooo use this scene. What about you?

Although today we have so many options to read, listen and receive the “word,” without a lot of intention and focus, diving in and really “leaning” in isn’t that easy. It should be, but let’s be honest — it’s not. Getting away to really soak it in would be fabulous.

One year at the family camp we always went to (shout out to Pine Cove), they had remodeled the rooms, and above my bed was a scripture that essentially said, “he’s got this… you can breathe… be still.” It disarmed me. The scripture reference allowed me to reset. As I went in and out of the room that week, it spoke to me and helped me realize that I often carry around things I really don’t need to.

We all need a reset. I find myself needing them more often as I get older. It never ceases to amaze me that the ancient texts of the Bible can magically point us into the direction we apparently needed to be pointed, and perhaps didn’t even realize.

I am going to do my best to “lean in” this week. If you are able to, let us all know if something stood out to you in the process. I think it just might be powerful.

Here are a few that I kind of love thinking about in the context of resetting.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.”

Exodus 14:14

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds.”

Philippians 4:7

“This hope we have is an anchor of the soul. A hope both sure and steadfast.”

Hebrews 6:19