To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Growth

Getting to our “one word” for 2019

Every year, I spend energy on finding what “one word” I want to focus on for the next year, and I know many of you join me in that adventure. We will talk about that in more detail Thursday.

In order to get to the “right word”… as in what I feel I’m supposed to focus on, I have found that it is useful to go through a process of figuring out where the current year has taken me… What has it revealed? Where am I today, because of what has occurred over the last ~12 months, and how might that inform what my 2019 focus could/should be? This year, I want to take you on a bit of the 2018 journey with me today- I simply looked back at the photos on my phone and audited what seemed like key parts or messages…

January:  I launched my son Sam off to Australia for his study abroad program. I also read a lot of great books and completed my annual Daniel Fast. I attended a terrific Martin Luther King Jr. event, which started me on a path of greater understanding that continued throughout the year. I focused on minimalism in this month, relying on this thought: “God, help me to see that so few things are really important and to at least take care of these first.”  (For the record… not sure I’m winning yet in this category.) 

February: February was Go Red Month, focused on a cause I am both deeply involved with and passionate about, the American Heart Association. I also reconnected for the second year in a row  with my college girlfriends, which has been a game changer in the best of ways. Perhaps staying invested for the long haul is the takeaway.

March: I launched my 50th year, making lists of my favorites that are still stored in my notes, which reminded me that I need more time to reflect and share. I was fortunate to travel to Australia — another experience that made it clear that we need to get out of our normal environments to truly understand our world.

April: A month of highs and lows. We hosted a “groom’s shower” for my cousin and it was an incredible time focused on this lovely couple. I was reminded of the hope that comes with young love. The month ended with my mom suffering from multiple seizures and a prolonged illness would begin- (she’s almost 100 percent back to normal now, and it isn’t lost on me that we are lucky,  and that life is short). The year seemed to pause here, as anyone who has experienced a drastic change in health of a loved one knows, things seem to stop all around you. This quote seemed to sum up this time for me: “If God has called you to it, he will equip you for it.” — Priscilla Shirer

May: Sam graduated from Michigan State University, which I took as another message from the universe: We have a lot of great people out there getting ready to take their turn at impacting our world. Also, I accepted and started a new job with Humana’s wholly-owned subsidiary, “Partners in Primary Care,” a senior-focused clinic model and it is the absolutely perfect fit for me. Little did I know that these people would become such an important part of my life. The theme for the month possibly being that you absolutely can plan some things in life (graduations) but you can’t predict them all, but God is designing your life in a way that will astound even you.

June: We celebrated my mom’s 75th and were more thankful than ever before. We also celebrated my dad surviving a health scare (when it rains, it pours). I met some friends who have become more than dear to me, and I co-hosted a baby shower. Again, the power of hope in our youth showed up and showed off.  

July: A perfect summer month. Any month with Kenny Chesney and Thomas Rhett concerts has to be amazing. A quote I saved that month, “What is life, but one grand adventure?” LOVE IT.

August: Another summer came to a close more quickly than I felt it should, with a clear message from the universe to “advance.” Now, if I could figure out what that exactly means it would be helpful (insert LOL). The theme seemed to be around the idea that “disadvantages can be double advantages.” Hmmmm….

September: Can you say Chiefs Kingdom? Also, I am loving my new work team right now and and cultivating new relationships seems to be the theme.

October: Chiefs, a brief girl’s trip to Napa, opened two new clinics (which seemed to consume every last bit of energy I had), and another message: “Life will keep bringing you the same test over and over again until you pass it.” Hmm. Which lesson is that again? Patience, perhaps? Simplification of the schedule…?

November: Chiefs, and the loss of my sweet Cinny Girl. This reminds me of the importance of deep loyalty. Of course, thankfulness is the theme for this month always. 

December: It’s all about strategy, time with those you love, finding joy, peace and reflection….

So, what about you? What has life revealed for you this year? Are there any themes that you see?

I am praying that you might find some value in this idea and that you might take the time to truly consider where and how you can best “advance?” 

(Thank you by the way for hanging in there with me through that brief review… Seems like I have a couple of leads on my “one word” for 2019. )

Loving others with no expectations


A shout out to my mom for the blog topic today. I asked her if she had something she thought would be helpful, and it didn’t take her even a minute to reel this one off. 

At age 75, there is wisdom that comes with this idea — and that doesn’t get past me. Her primary example was that when her mother passed, her dad married again, and from age 30 to 74, my mom had a stepmother who tried to fill the shoes that honestly couldn’t be filled. Her revelation that it was unfair to expect her stepmom to play the role of her mom didn’t come until last year before my grandmother passed. She’s the first to admit that 44 years was absolutely too long to hold this thought and expectation (thus the idea for the blog, hoping it would help someone else).

The bottom line here is that we should try to accept people to show up as they are and not tie our happiness to expectations we come up with.

Here’s the question: What are some parts of your life where you have expectations that may not be serving you well?

  • Are you expecting your children or grandchildren to call you when it doesn’t necessarily fit in with their schedules?
  • Are you expecting your significant other to know that you have a childhood expectation of having a well thought out and over-the-top birthday celebration?
  • Are you expecting your neighbor, sister, brother, children, etc. to see the world as you do?

I love the reminder that sitting without judgement in a relationship and calling ourselves out on setting up unfair scenarios in our minds will make us all better. Thanks for the idea, Mom.  

Have an amazing week!  

Building energy, perspective and immunity

Rewind! This post is a very relevant throwback. 

Constant growth is what makes us who we were designed to be. Three thoughts for you today.

We must BUILD ENERGY: Be it physical energy or mental energy, we simply must be working on our health game. Even Instagram is a showcase of opinions, thrashing politics and personal agendas… (Aside: Please make it go back to a place for cool pictures and powerful messages!) Staying on top of this is a must have if you are to maintain a healthy mindset. Be thinking about BUILDING ENERGY!

We must BUILD PERSPECTIVE: Your perspective determines your ability to perceive opportunities, pursue optimism and to embrace chaos. Focusing on your perspective — what you know to be true — is a game changer. When problems arise, it’s our perspective that allows us to move to the other side and deal with it in a way that encourages and helps us and others grow. How is your perspective?

We must BUILD IMMUNITY: This one was a wild card, but it was top-of-mind so I had to include it. My point here is immunity against anything that has the ability to alter our days and our minds. Anything that can get us off track. As with sickness (those ugly winter colds going around), the world can get to us. People — even our families — may say something that can shift our mood in seconds. Build IMMUNITY against that.

At the end of the day, life is too short to get our feelings hurt easily and we can decide up front that we are not going to be distracted from joy.

Have the most amazing weekend.

Be fully awake to the present

Today is the opportunity we have been granted.

This month is a great time to recommit and be fully awake to what is going on around us, and be completely open to living in the moment.

Tom Peters has a thought that “Excellence is the next 5 seconds…”

I want to be excellent. I want to be IN this moment, not OUTSIDE of it.

I want to be fully aware of the lights on the tree, the anticipation from the children for the holiday festivities, the tears that are hidden behind my friends smile, the extra-tight hug that shows a friend needs a little extra support right now… all of it.

I want to be fully awake. Don’t you?

I believe that if we can get better in this area, we will be closer to being fully alive.

Who’s with me on this?

Shifting our expectations can be a blessing in disguise

Rewind! This post is a throwback to December 2015.

Today I wanted to touch on the idea of shifting expectations. As we consider living out a life of excellence, we have some options. We have the power to make a simple shift in the way we see a situation in order to move forward in a positive direction.

I wanted to point something out here: Many people associate this concept with settling – big difference. Settling has a negative connotation and makes us feel like we lost somehow. Instead, consider that you’re making a healthy decision for yourself and everyone around you, and move forward! That is excellence.

My hope for this week (let’s take it one day at a time) is that you will shift along with me as our expectations overwhelm us. In this moment, choose to focus on joy. Not the rush, the hustle, nor the chaos, but on the beauty created in the moments that fill our lives.

3 reasons that managing expectations could elevate our lives

Boy, I’d love to be fishing right now… especially if it were, say, 70+ degrees.

Thanksgiving made this topic super current to me and perhaps it may help you too as we go into the holiday “season.” Here’s what I know: everyone has a different expectation of what life should look like and this is heightened during the holidays.

Some people hope to have the family in the kitchen with old and young kids alike, baking cookies and creating culinary creations that provide comfort and holiday spirit to the house. Some perhaps want “life as usual,” without a lot of fanfare. Some want the family to play games, or to load up in the family caravan in search of the greatest light displays. Some want to hide by the fire and watch Netflix or the football.

What I know to be true is that we all come in to our days with what is going on in our current lives and our own opinion of what would be the perfect experience.

There are three key points that I feel are obvious (but we can all use a reminder… especially  me!):

  1. Expectations are good because we all need to have dreams and know what would create happiness and joy for ourselves.
  2. Expectations are not good if they are not shared with those that may play a starring role in what you are hoping for.
  3. Expectations are best achieved when we are open and honest with one another and are also open to modify ours to meet the needs of everyone involved.

Sounds simple, right?

On vacations, we often have everyone go around and ask everyone what is one thing they really hope to do. I have never really thought about doing it on other occasions or maybe even a weekly basis but it’s something to consider for sure. We can certainly all elevate our lives by having healthy expectations and conversations around those! Food for thought today…

Freeing our minds to allow space for gratitude

I am all in on gratitude and the idea of wanting to feel it as much as possible. Sometimes I feel like this week each year we are supposed to “flip the proverbial switch” and get into a blissful attitude of deep thanks, as if it’s somehow automated.  With the hustle in most of our lives, this idea can seem a bit far reaching. The good news is that we can help ourselves out with a small dose of intention and action.

Did you know we cannot feel the full expression of gratitude available to us when our emotional and physical environments are filled with clutter? Yep, science backs up that “getting to gratitude” is challenged by the world around us. (By the way, that would be the world that we allow” around us, since we get to decide what we allow in our lives.)

So, as you move toward absolute gratitude, think about what you can eliminate… Whether it be the contents of the junk drawer or the high standards you have for yourself.  There are no doubt a number of items that can be stripped out in order to free up your energy, heart and mind.

Some other ideas…

Declutter relationships. Are yours serving you well?

Declutter the fears and anxieties that keep you up at night. Name them and claim them “gone” from your mind and, if necessary, make an appointment with a counselor to deal with those that you can’t seem to release on your own. (I have found that especially helpful.)

Declutter the frustrations of the past. Decide to allow forgiveness to yourself or others …and move on.

Declutter bad habits. The extra dessert, hitting snooze too many times, not keeping the commitment you made to yourself to exercise even on cold days and nights…

I know I have a few areas to focus on. I am looking forward to freeing up my schedule a bit so I can think and be mindful of what really matters to me… the people I love and who God placed in my life.

A shout out to those focused on personal growth!

First of all, apologies for the language choice. My perspective has always been that the appropriate use of a word should be acceptable as long as it’s not mean spirited… that is never okay.

THIS. This makes the point that needs to be made. To those on the relentless path to growth, a huge shout out to you today! You are brave and are right where you are supposed to be. Keep that mental focus and conquer it all. You are a warrior!

I’m sure most of you know that change is not something for the faint of heart. It’s not even close to easy for the stoic, the strong, the wisest among us.

You see, understanding the areas we need to grow in and then actually making the CHOICE to face them head on is real work. It’s the kind of work that might create some uncomfortable moments, and for many of us, a few tears. Tears are healing, though. A wonderful person once told me tears are how we cleanse our soul. I like that idea. To be a better person, to serve well, to grow in all areas of your life takes work and that work is the best kind. It’s in my opinion exactly what we are supposed to be doing in order to achieve our best self.

I’m cheering you on!

CliffsNotes, Spark Notes… Short cuts can be found in the stories of others

Remember those AMAZING creations that offered us a “short cut” through some tough reads in school? Circa 1986 we used “CliffsNotes.” My boys used Spark Notes.

As we all know, finding short cuts to learning how to deal with life’s challenges aren’t easy to find. I heard something recently that stuck with me, and that was that the stories of others are really the “Cliffsnotes” we often need. Ah, what a great reminder…the power of storytelling.

I love good storytellers. Whether it’s a terrific author, like Salinger’s ‘Catcher in the Rye,’ covering topics of innocence, identity, belonging and connection – or my father, who spins some pretty amazing tales.

We learn from stories. Taking the time to hear both those younger and older than us offers insights into how to better make decisions and gain wisdom. I mean, why recreate the wheel if someone has walked the path, and can share an easier route?

It got me thinking.

Who in my circle may have walked a path I’m currently on? Who may have already experienced the hills and valleys and be able to offer some context, ideas or answers to the questions I face? (This of course runs the gamut from work to parenting to life…)   

Who do I need to schedule lunch with to gain some perspective – some wisdom?

Who might you reach out to this week?

Let’s up our “wisdom” game this week and use the stories of others to help elevate our thinking!

You could have, but you didn’t… (Raising our level of awareness to achieving our best selves)

Hmmm… this question is haunting a bit, right?

You could have…. what?

Worked out? Made that call? Sent that note? Finished that project? Started that new company? Ate healthier? Chose to drink more water? Spent less time online? Read more books? Signed up for that class? Started the hobby you have always wanted to take on? Wrote down your goals? Sought out help for that challenge that keeps you up at night? Called that local government official to exercise your right to be heard?

The list goes on.

What is it about the nature of humans that we do not always execute on what we know we want, or need, to do? Is it time, fear, laziness, avoidance? Why allow the distractions to overcome our precious time?

I don’t have the answers… Dr. Google does, though.

Here’s my insight for today: We have been given this one amazing life. We can choose to use our gifts and talents, to put our heart and soul into action.

I worry we succumb to distraction so easily that we are marginalizing ourselves. I know I can do better. I’d love to hear other thoughts here…

Have a fantastic week!