To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Growth

“A soul generated by love” – Wrapping up Black History Month

I didn’t want the month to end without once again highlighting Black History Month.

I feel like our country is really starting to take hold of the idea that we need to become more educated on the issues we face by not being aware of the issues of our past. There are so many new authors really taking on this subject in a powerful way.* If we can all make a decision to do our part in truly diving into history and what it means to us today, I can imagine a world that is stronger and more beautiful. The very idea of this blog is to provide insights that might help us all “level up” and really serve each other well. From my perspective, serving starts by understanding and then by coming alongside all people, in whatever way they need, to make our world better.

The quote in the picture above came from Martin Luther King Jr’s last sermon before he was assassinated. He continued to say:

“…You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You don’t have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve. You don’t have to know Einstein’s Theory of Relativity to serve. You don’t have to know the Second Theory of thermodynamics and physics to serve. You only need a heart full of gratitude. A soul generated by love.”

It’s no surprise that the month of “love” is also Black History month. Let us all remember that love has the power to overcome all challenges we face. We can choose to use that love to put forth actions that bring us a life and world of service and unity. Now, I can get down right joyful about that thought!

*If you’d like to jump into some good, easy reading around this topic, I’d highly recommend, “I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World made for Whiteness,” by Austin Channing Brown. I have several others that I’ve found quite helpful on my personal journey. Please feel free to message me if you are interested.

Evaluated experience is the best experience

If you have studied leadership or personal development, you may be familiar with John Maxwell. He’s a living legend. This particular message is one that needs to become a classic. We are too easy to say, “experience is the best teacher.” My experience is that that is absolutely not true. What is true, however, is what Maxwell focuses on in his book, “Failing Forward.”

As we think about our own lives – personal growth, where we can still go or want to go, grow or become and how to get there – truly taking your experiences and evaluating what lessons they have provided could be a game changer.

Another phrase I’ve heard, “your test becomes your testimony” comes to mind in this context. I add that here because we all clearly have had a lot of experiences (aka “tests”), but which ones are the “stand outs?” Which ones are the “I can’t believe that happened,” or “wow, my life is so not where I thought it was going to be right now,” moments? Those are the ones I feel we should start with. Those are the humdingers!

As we walk through our adventure – truly getting to the root of what happened to get us to that moment, to go deep into all of the potential people, pathways or circumstances that got us there – we are able to use that experience to elevate us to the next level. Any particular areas you may need to evaluate today that just may help you grow?

Taking action: Continuing to add wood to the fire – the demands of success

Most people know success is not a stagnant function. In order to “stay on top of our game,” we have to continue to “add wood to the fire.” I love this analogy in Grant Cardone’s best seller, ‘The 10X Rule.’ Sometimes we have no idea what we are fueling, but our actions tend to create results, for better or for worse. If we are truly hoping to serve in the best way, we must be clear about what areas we are adding wood (or water) to the fire.

So, for today, let’s think through some main areas of our lives….

Finances: Any wood I need to add here? Are there areas that require my attention? Any areas I need to add water and put the fire out a bit?

Spiritual: Is my fire at a slow burn, or are the embers barely lit?Am I shining as bright as I could and warming others in the process?

Career (be it in the community, home or retirement): What actions am I taking to ensure that I am continuously growing?

Health, Mind & Body: Am I optimizing what God has given me? Where do I need to add a few branches (or actions) to up my game? After all, I cannot really be successful without a healthy mind and body.

I hope the idea that continuous success requires ongoing action is something that resonates with you. The visual to me was a strong one. Some fires require actual large pieces of wood, some only need kindling, and others need a dousing of water to extinguish the crazy and bring us down a notch. Where do you need to take action?

The power of our emotions

Not sure where I heard this, but I put it down in my notes as a reminder to blog about at some point. Here’s what I think about this: OUCH!

It resonates because it’s spot on. When our emotions cause our minds to go off course, we are creating stories and narratives that quite possibly aren’t viable or true. The obvious problem with this is we have this amazing ability as humans to manifest our own thoughts. We can use the power of the mind to, at times, turn these emotions into a reality. (I’ve done it more times than I’d like to admit.)

I like the idea that we should OBSERVE these emotions – fear, anxiety, exhilaration, and more – all as a feedback system. A feedback mechanism that was built inside of us to process and make better decisions. Intentionally taking the time to “harness,” if you will, the emotion and asking ourselves where it came from. Is it based on real facts or have we allowed our minds to blow it up into something more? You get the thought here, I hope.

I have a therapist who has asked me to take time to “sit” with my emotions or feelings… don’t pursue them or run from them – just sit. At first that baffled me because I am a doer, as in, “let’s deal with this and move on.” So, this realization that there is another option to observe and understand has been a game changer for me.

I hope this topic strikes home with at least a few of you. It is not easy, but it is important to really consider that God has given us this amazing feedback system for us to both protect ourselves and to help us thrive. We should use it as such and not allow it to be anything more.

Cheers to a great week!

Driving toward a growth mindset

Happy January 31st! The month felt like it was 1,000 days long and yet, for some reason, it’s hard to believe the first month of 2019 is over.

I feel like I’m still putting the ship in order for an amazing year. How about you? Did you hit your “must-have” list and generate some momentum heading into the rest of the quarter? How’s your health game going? Setting up plans to deepen those relationships? Strengthening your financial position? How about your career – be it managing the “castle” (aka, home), hustling in the workplace or the best career, known as “retirement? Did you make progress in leveling up in those areas? What about just surviving (which is a perfectly respectable goal!)?

When I saw this message, I knew immediately it had to reach a greater audience. For those who want to optimize their best life for this very season, it is critical to stay on task and intentionally build pathways to achieve what we hope will bring us closer to those goals.

As you close out this month and launch in to February, I hope this will inspire you to make the days and moments count. I pray your month is chock full of celebrations, intention and pure happiness, no matter what that may be for you!

Special note: February is Go Red month for the American Heart Association. Heart disease is the leading cause of death for all Americans. I hope you will join me in wearing Red tomorrow on Friday for national Go Red Day and together raise awareness! For more information, go to the AHA website. Being informed saves lives.

Thank you, Dr. King

Please don’t dismiss this week’s celebration of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you are a news junkie, no doubt it has been front and center (along with football playoffs and winter) the last few days. Others are avoiding the news, instead gravitating toward anything but the often-negative stories that flood into our homes.

For this week, it is worthwhile to take in the story of his life… again.

If you’d like a simple place, use this. The “I have a dream” video is also worth your 5 minutes.

My friend Gretchen who substitute teaches (lucky kids) told me that she asked her class the other day who today’s heroes are. The collective group couldn’t really come up with any. Maybe some athletes, but overall the exercise provided pause that left everyone asking who deserves such a title today? Who is doing work that addresses the big issues?

Thankfully there are a LOT of heroes in our world. Many who are quietly serving – and some more noteworthy … spending their days working on complex & big issues. But there is always room for more stand-outs who can GALVANIZE our country. People like Dr. King who sacrificed their lives for the good of man and society.

The quote above is my favorite of Dr. King’s. It resonates with me and I hope it does with you. What issues have we been silent about? The definition of silence meaning that you haven’t really done anything to share your concern and take action to help improve the situation. This could be as easy as walking by litter in your own neighborhood, or as complex as taking on the hate that impacts our world.

 (A shout out to my friend Mindy Corporon and family who are working toward improvement in this area via their foundation and their annual week-long event bringing awareness to these issues.) 

Whatever the issue is that you have a passion for, please don’t be silent. It’s a new year and I’m often glad Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday is celebrated this month, because this is a month to LAUNCH – to kick off or renew a commitment to what is important in our lives. (If you don’t have anything that stands out, please join Mindy and team.)

While you are at it, if you have children in your life that you can inspire, encourage them this week to identify those issues and begin to step forward as a leader to truly impact our world for the positive. I’m confident that today’s youth have what it takes to continue to make America the greatest country in the world.

Dominate THIS moment (and then the next)

dom-i-nate (verb) Have a commanding influence on; exercise control over.  Influence… Command… Govern… Direct, preside, master…

mo-ment (noun) A very brief period of time. An appropriate time for doing something; an opportunity. Instant… split second… jiff… juncture, stage…

Domination over our daily habits – and the systems we create to ensure we have positive habits – is a necessary action all of the time, but in particular this month. In his book, ‘Atomic Habits,’ James Clear shares how tiny changes can create remarkable results – GAME-CHANGING results.

One example is to be super clear on when we are going to do something we set out to do – identifying the what and when are the key. So, if you want to start doing 10 pushups you may say, “I am going to do 10 pushups, right after I brush my teeth and get into bed.” Easy, right? The difference is that simple. Establish a “system” around what you want to do.

It is mission critical for me to optimize my life so I can fulfill my purpose. I want to make an impact on those around me every single time I have the opportunity. I know many of you share that goal. We need to be on our game for this to actually happen. To that end, dominating our moments is just a tad important.

I hope this inspires you to think through what areas you need to dominate or influence in a short time to help you achieve your master goals… Dominating takes intention, but therein lies the difference we can make.

(As a side note for my #CHIEFSKINGDOM: Let’s dominate every moment of Sunday’s game like we did Saturday! Coaches, players and fans alike… let’s UNIFY to DOMINATE.)

“Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconscious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.” – Stephen Covey

Who are you at your best?

An idea I ran across for the new year was to write a three paragraph statement of who I am at my best. Hmm… Although I like to write, I’m not much for these types of exercises, and prefer a simple, bulleted approach. I figure I can be vulnerable a bit in this space, so here is what I know for sure without giving it a lot of thought. (In other words, I’m sure there are a host of things I’m missing.)

I’m at my best when…

  1. My spiritual life is on point and active.
  2. I am disciplined around my health, including fitness and eating mostly right (I have to have queso… anyone else?).
  3. My tribe of family and friends (I include colleagues here) are part of my regular schedule.
  4. My personal tribe of family and friends are thriving and happy.
  5. I am absolutely on my game in my career.
  6. I have MARGIN… margin in time to think, read, write, margin in my finances, margin in pretty much every area…

What about you? Is it worth it to take some time to identify what being your best looks like? I can easily go through the list above and see some areas that I would like to focus more on. Focus meaning intentional (and sometimes hard) work to just MAKE IT HAPPEN. Making it happen can mean sacrifice and saying no – or maybe even saying yes. It might mean that instead of spending a Saturday doing what I need and want, that I invest time with my tribe.

I can also see by looking at the list that some things are in conflict, such as that little tribe example. Margin isn’t easy to come by anyway, and harder if you also know it’s a competing priority. Here’s the thing: sometimes we have to actually think through “What is the best yes?”

In this season, in this moment, what do I need more – margin or time with friends? There isn’t a wrong answer, and we need to remember that. It’s all good as long as you are working toward your BEST LIFE.

Catering to our success

I was on a panel a few years ago when I was stopped in my tracks by a quote from a fellow businesswoman. She said her most important life lesson was to stay focused on the concept that she wants others to “cater to my success, not my ego.”

It was a game changer for the way I thought about, well, everything.

During my 20s and even my 30s, I truly wanted the kind of feedback that told me I was doing great. The slightest criticism left me up at night, twisting and turning on how, why and what I could do to improve. In my 40s and even now, I crave solid, constructive feedback, even the kind that might not feel good. If I give a speech, for example, I love it when someone gives me an “‘atta girl,” but I love it even more when someone takes the time to point out where I could have expanded, improved, etc. In my personal life, I think it’s still a challenge sometimes to receive feedback you don’t really want to hear.

We of course should want that for ourselves, but it can be a bit uncomfortable to be in the middle of the “ring” so to speak. It is important that feedback is both honest and fair, and delivered with honor. We need to remember that although Brene Brown (Dare to Lead, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness) is on point with her, “Clear is Kind,” that it’s only kind if we do so with respect and a true intent to build value to the person. On that point then, feedback is, at its root form, a trust exercise. It’s best delivered within that context and in a trusted relationship. Maya Angelou’s famous quote seems to play well here:

“People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

I think we need to remember that when we are on the delivery side.

I could provide a multi-point process here that may help with some steps on how to receive or give feedback, but that is for another blog. Today, I think it is more powerful to simply offer up the concept that we really need to not only be okay with trusted friends and colleagues helping us level up, but that we should seek it out. We will no doubt serve ourselves and others better if we can!

What “one word” sets you on fire for the best year ever?

I really love this topic. My mind runs amok with the possibilities. Where in the world does God want us to go in 2019? How do we best achieve our personal goals and purpose? How can we show up with excellence at home, in our neighborhood, as a friend, for our community and in our careers?

Now, of course I know “one word” doesn’t capture it all, but what would one thought be that galvanizes and energizes? Is there a specific area in your life that needs a specific focus? Do you need to for example cultivate your relationships? Do you need to have more days of connection and joy? Are you being called to adventure, travel or exploration?

So many ideas. Here are a few…

Discipline – This was my first “one word” from back in 2012, and it was the year I started working out on a regular basis and focusing on personal health. Total game changer.

Also… Elevate, trust, joy, stretch, acceptance, happiness, freedom, momentum, growth, unstoppable, shine, minimize, rebuild, peace, silence, brave, curious, perspective, thrive, aware, fresh, quiet, travel, adventure, journey, accelerate, game-changer, win, search, commit, dedicate, meaning, true, love…

If you choose to jump on this train, I highly recommend that you share your word with a few members of your tribe, write it down and put it front and center somewhere you see often. There are also other resources, including a website, which lets you join others across the world in the process.

In closing, I will share that selecting a word could be a challenge. Since I’ve done this a few years, I always want to give it some real thought and try to hear from God on what would be the most powerful word to help direct me. That said, my word for 2018 was “revival,” and I didn’t really understand it fully at the time, but felt it was clearly supposed to be my word.

Here is what I wrote in last year’s blog (referencing a message I had just heard at that time about “revival” being a “season of reintroduction”): “Revival is a time where God reintroduces himself, exposes you more to your next assignment, and gives you insights to conquer that next level.” As it turns out, it actually was a year of reintroduction, but in many ways not at all how I would have even began to predict or understand January 1. I think that is a fun part of this journey… sometimes what you think at the onset is not how it ends up.  

What we can count on is that 2019 will be an adventure! Have a terrific weekend everyone!