To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Growth

Amplify the yes, and shake off what doesn’t build you up

Amplify (verb): To make larger, greater or stronger.

Who else could amplify some things in their life right now?

Expand my wisdom? Yes please!
Develop stronger patience? Why yes, I think I will!
Increase my energy? Heck yes! I would love that!

We can all use this message, and can benefit from a reminder to amplify the good. We also need to remember the power of manifesting positivity. I believe we have all been given the strength and gifts we need, be it through our own work and determination, or from the people who have been placed in our paths.

When talking to a friend once, I shared how I imagined a serious conversation I needed to have would play out. I thought, at the time, that I was being realistic. She quickly reminded me not to put that negativity out into the universe. Instead, I should expect it would go well.

I have to say, I still think I’m more than likely right –– but so is she! I need to amplify the potential positive here. Easier said than done, right?

This summer, more than any other time before, I think we could all benefit from putting this at the forefront of our minds. We need to shake off –– a la Taylor Swift –– anything that doesn’t build us up. Who or what builds you up? Makes you have a spring in your step? Brings you energy? Makes you the best version of yourself?

On the flip side, who or what brings you down? How can you reduce that influence? What boundaries do you need to put in place to protect yourself? All important questions.

I hope as we head into this next month that you bring on the power of your best self and do everything you can to reduce the friction of what doesn’t. In fact, I’m praying for that as I write this. Have a tremendous rest of your week and happy Fourth of July!

(Rewind! This is a modified throwback post.)

The power of curiosity

I love kids. Their laughs are the best, and their questions are incredible. Some studies show that kids ask an average of 40,000 questions between ages 2 and 5. That’s 200-300 per day. (via Berger)

How many questions did you ask yesterday? The estimate for most adults is 20. (Quora) To me, curiosity is a key to great happiness and success in life. Nurturing our curiosity is a springboard for growth and knowledge, and I have always found the theory that “knowledge = power” to be more than true.

It seems like a really great time to IGNITE our curiosity. On Saturday, I had the chance to enjoy the late afternoon sunshine and explore a local park. Nature has so much to teach us and I found myself feeling a bit childlike again at the wonder of Spring… new life in bloom from the animals to the plants. What fun it is to see so many people and families connecting through nature during this time. For kids of all ages, curiosity provides the following:

  • Helps us to be better problem solvers
  • Helps us overcome our fears (“Hey, is that snake venomous? Is it safe to hold it?”)
  • Helps us develop empathy when we focus on asking and clarifying versus judging
  • Leads to humility
  • Creates a higher level of self awareness as we question our own whys, beliefs, and consider if there are other options we should consider

On the business side of things, making the case for developing a culture of curiosity is a game-changer for organizations that embrace the curiosity super power. In a stellar article, “The Business Case for Curiosity,” Fracesca Gino points out that cultivating curiosity at all levels helps leaders and their employees adapt to uncertain market conditions and external pressures. (Hello, COVID-19!) “When our curiosity is triggered, we think more deeply and rationally about decisions and come up with more creative solutions.” 

I particularly loved this quote from former Google CEO, Eric Schmidt: “We run this company on questions, not answers.” 

Above almost all actions we can take in today’s world, we need the fuel of questions to ensure we approach new challenges with rigor and fresh thinking. My thought is that we should use this time to raise the game on our own curiosity, look around and fill in the gaps, and serve one another in new ways. (And hey, I just realized its Earth Day on the day this posts…. what a wonderful way to honor this beautiful world by bringing forward a desire to learn all we can about its wonders!)

Take every thought captive

Think back to the last few days. What has consumed your thinking? I just finished the best book of the year for me so far: “Get Out of your Head,” by Jennie Allen. She shared that nearly 70 percent of our thoughts are negative (Psychology Today, October 10, 2013). Yikes.

In a short experiment, she gathered a group of women around a white board that simply said, “What are you thinking about?” With a variety of Post-It notes with different options (like the picture above shows), the women were asked to pull a note that showed what they were thinking about. True to the reference above, over 70 percent were in the not-so-positive space. I would have guessed this to be a lot lower. (Personally, when I saw the list, my mind definitely drifts to the “what ifs” more than I’d like to admit.)

Why is that? I don’t often blog about scripture during the middle of a work week, but the one in this title has always been one of my favorites. If you have ever been around anyone citing New Testament Bible references, you may recognize this advice: “We must take every thought captive.” (2 Corinthians 10:5) The scripture pointing to the fact that our minds are truly wild things that need to be reminded early and often to center our thinking on what is good, useful and true. Our minds tend to run down the rabbit holes of “what ifs” and “whys,” and can quite easily get lost and off onto a path that doesn’t serve us well.

So, how do we in fact get a control on these tendencies? Other than the basic core rule – first, decide that you want to – there are some other ideas to consider. I think identifying where your mind tends to go is really important. Taking a proper inventory, if you will. I love the idea someone shared with me: They ask the “thought” questions, such as, “Should I take you seriously?” Other thoughts: Is this really a big deal? What percent of my day/life/etc. is impacted by this? Does it matter against my other priorities or goals? Why the hell am I even thinking about this so much?

Once you have dealt with whether or not it’s important or not, then create a habit of talking this recurring issue over with someone (or multiple people) you trust. In other words, get wisdom from someone else and ask them to help redirect you if you continue to bring this issue into focus. There are so many other options here, like meditating, praying, journaling, etc. The bottom line is that you must figure out what you are thinking and get with a community that will help you overcome your thought patterns. The best ever is when you are able to replace the negative with the positive. That’s where we take ground and grow.

Let’s be ever mindful this week of the thoughts we have, and work together to shift out of self-focus, and use that energy to think about ways we can use this one life to serve others.

Black History month matters: A call for us all to take action

For some reason, It seems to me that I have always had a desire to “read up”, if you will, to better understand men and women who looked differently than I do. I’d like to say it came from hours around a dinner table of parents or grandparents that stressed the importance, and even made efforts to expose me, but that wouldn’t be true. At work this week, we were referencing the classic, “What you talkin’ ’bout, Willis,” line from the 1978-1985 iconic show, “Diff’rent Strokes,” so perhaps that is the genesis.

More than likely, however, is that some brilliant teacher planted a seed early on. (And that my friends is why we should all love and pay great respect to our teachers!).

Here’s the thing: While I have always had this desire, it continually seems to hit me in the face that I still don’t know enough. My efforts are good, but not acceptable – at least to me. It shouldn’t be the case that in America today that, at age 51 (almost 52), I am learning that Rosa Parks wasn’t the first to refuse to give up her seat on a bus. There were actually several before her – such as 15-year old Claudette Colvin, who was studying the great inequality injustice at the time, and opted for a bold move to make her point. I read her story just today. By the way, she also ended up in jail.

More grave is a story I learned two years ago, when my friend and mentor Tanesha, took me to a Black History event held at the University of Missouri Kansas City campus. Shocked, lump in your throat, disturbed…. all may be a good way to describe how I felt when finding out that of the 12.5 million Africans shipped to the New World via the Translantic Slave Trade, that fewer than 388,000 arrived in the United States. (According to PBS.com.) That means that over 12 million men, women, children… loving grandparents, respected community members… all died A tragic death during the journey. To put that in perspective, 6 million Jewish people were killed by Nazi Germany by the end of World War II and the Holocaust. (According to Guardian.com). It left me unraveled.

I hope that you knew this and that you have already made strides in using your influence to help us be better. If you didn’t, I hope this helps paint the picture that we need to work toward truly understanding the human experiences of our fellow countrymen/women. Society as a whole is impacted tremendously by history in many ways – psychologically, physiologically, socially, economically, etc. By studying and building awareness, even at the most cursory levels (although we shouldn’t stop there), we are able to move toward eradicating stereotypes, and improve society as a whole.

The founder of Black History Month, Carter G Woodson, considered his role was to use “black history and culture as a weapon in the struggle for racial uplift.” (Smithsonian Institute) That is a weapon we can all get behind. By 1916, he had established the Association for the Study of Negro Life and Culture with a goal of making black history accessible to a wider audience. In February of 1926, Black History Month launched in America. We might think that in 94 years we would have made such progress that this recognition wouldn’t be needed, however, the facts demonstrate this is not the case. Us American’s are a tough group. As the Smithsonian article I am referencing noted, “The chains of slavery are gone, but we are all not free.” The author’s final note describes slavery is an African American success story “because we found ways to survive, to preserve our culture and our families.” I appreciate that optimistic viewpoint.

I hope today’s blog offers you a bit of inspiration to do some research regardless of your race or background. I can assure you that it is worthy to always better understand those that God has placed to live this life out with us side by side. We are so much better together and beyond powerful when unified.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: The power of visualization

WOW! I love inspirational messages like this one that so directly deliver a game changing thought.

I’d like to think I SHOW UP AS MY HIGHEST SELF every day, but I am not sure I can say I do this in every area of my life. For example, do I really walk out how I want to “show up” physically? As in, athletically speaking? Ouch… I don’t think so. Maybe a “pretty good” version, but highest? Definitely not.

Let’s pull the plane up a bit and back into the question of what exactly does your highest self look like?

If I were hitting my stride in full force, what would my highest self look like on an ideal day? My wake up time? Meals? Physical activity? Productivity? Would I design art? Write something breathtaking? Breathe deeply and eat nutritious and beautiful meals? Who would I surround myself with? How would I elevate my mind? Would I be reading classic literature or listening to stunning music? How about my relationships? Am I investing my energy well?

This is such a worthwhile question.

I hope you will not only visualize your highest self, but write out what that looks like and move ever closer to that each and every day.

So much love for you all. Let’s make it a beautiful week… honoring ourselves and those God has placed in our path by showing up fully.

Rewind! This is Partially a throwback post to one from 2019 that was just speaking to me this weekend.

Where will you put in a stake in the ground this year? This month? This moment?

A strong American idiom: “Put a stake in the ground.” As in, what is the first step you are going to make? What move are you going to make to get something started? How are you going to rally the troops? (adapted from American Idioms Daily)

As I said Sunday, I love the start of a fresh year. While one could argue that anytime is a good time to reevaluate, edit or even cast new visions, the start of a new year offers hope unlike other times to me. It’s as if we can leave what we don’t want to bring forward and somehow step out the front door freshly dressed and with the vigor needed to make great things happen for ourselves and others.

I love the visual above because it draws to mind us claiming our stake… our goal… our moment. So, what will it be?

  • You want to use your voice this year to make changes. Perhaps it’s writing, perhaps speaking… perhaps it’s in one-on-one conversations where the action is going to happen. Perhaps you want to be the one that makes sure where you live or work is full of extraordinary kindness every single day.
  • You want to finally walk or run that race? You have decided that the mental dialogue that stops you from “thinking you can do it” is not going to win this year and you are going to take a step forward toward that goal.
  • You desire to forgive that loved one that wronged you and you just haven’t been able to let it go.
  • Your hope for a FUN life, full of joy and depth (and less fear about health, money, or you name it) is going to be attacked once and for all and you are going to have more days that meet your expectations.
  • Your greatest dream would be world of true unity and that you are going to use your time, talent and gifts to help us move us all forward…

So many stakes to claim. So much that God wants for us in this life, no matter our situation. While we may walk out tomorrow morning with a cold, brisk wind confronting us, we have the ability to lay out the “must haves” for our lives. To both name them and to make them happen. I believe the world is conspiring for what is good, honorable and true. I believe that social justice is imperative and it is all of our responsibilities. I believe that we are called as humans to think bigger and to realize that we are more powerful than we could imagine if we will push ourselves a bit past the limits we have given ourselves.

Here’s to a year of putting our stake or stakes in the ground and developing action plans to make sure we make progress. Here’s to great health, wellness and more laughter than you’ve had for many years. Let’s make it count.

You control the invite list: Will you invite the inner critic or the inner advocate?

If you have followed this blog for a bit, you will know that I’m a raving fan of Peloton, and specifically, the trainer Robin Arzon (@robinnyc), who is flat-out motivating and exactly what I need both on the bike and from a leader! Cardio isn’t my game normally, and I have had to learn to up the discomfort in order to get results and achieve optimal health. Robin’s commentary during any workout levels me up and offers useful thought-starters that help in so many areas. The one in the image above, was a particularly strong takeaway – as in, stop the bike and write it down… now.

I loved the focus on who we “invite to the party” in our head. “Do I invite the inner critic or the inner advocate?” I am generally strong on self motivation but honestly, with physical exercise, I am not forgiving of myself. In fact, if the script in my head was played for all to see, it may surprise those closest to me. I am not usually happy with how hard I can push, and I often am thinking while trying to “level up” that perhaps I can’t even go further…. this by the way is generally a bunch of self served BS. It even surprises me to be honest. Robin calls this out and I’m not sure (before that experience) that I could have recognized the tendency, and the potential impact on my ability to achieve what I’d like to.

I call this out for the simple reason that I do realize I am normally a more than glass-half-full person. It is important for all of us to realize that the stories we tell ourselves can either advocate for our success or can limit us greatly. This of course would fall true in other categories besides physical fitness… our diet/nutrition, ability to have strong relationships, achieve our career goals, remain strong as we age, etc.

With my “always” goal to be as brief as possible, I’ll leave you with this insight for today: You in fact control the dialogue in your mind. I feel if we would all make it a goal to really listen to what is on our mental “reel” through the day and in different situations we may just be surprised. By acknowledging it, we can reverse the trend and make a true impact for the better. What a great time of the year to plug this idea in and become stronger for the new decade ahead!

*As a side note: You also control the who and what you invite into your mind over this holiday season. Be sure to plug in the outcomes you want… whatever brings you peace, joy, faith and love seems like a great place to start.

Amplify the YES: Shake off what doesn’t build you up (the best you can)

AMPLIFY – Make larger, greater, stronger, extend, expand, increase…

Who could handle some AMPLIFICATION right now?

Expand my wisdom? Yes please!

Develop stronger patience? Why yes, I think I will!

Increase my energy? Heck yes! I would love that!

We can all use this message. We all need a reminder to AMPLIFY the good. We need to remember to manifest the positive, to essentially bring on the power and the good – as in truly amazing. I fully believe we have all been given the strength and gifts we need, be it through our own or from other people that have been placed in our paths.

I was with a friend recently, sharing the outcome of how I felt a serious conversation was going to play out. I felt I was being realistic with my not-so-positive response. She quickly reminded me not to put that negativity out into the universe, and instead that I should expect it would go well. I have to say, I still think I’m more than likely right, but so is she! I need to amplify the potential positive here. Easier said than done, right?

This week I am going to do my best to focus in just that way. At the same time “shake off” anything that doesn’t build up. What, or who, builds you up? Makes you have a spring in your step? Brings you energy? Flat out makes you the best version of yourself?

On the flip side, what brings you down? How can you stop or reduce that influence? What boundaries do you need to put in place to protect yourself? All important questions.

My great desire is that you will be built up; that you will close 2019 amplified. I hope you bring on the power of your best self and do everything you can to reduce the friction of what doesn’t. In fact, I’m praying for that right now as I write this. Have a tremendous week.

Slowing down enough to hit the ball

Wow, Ryan Holiday’s thought here is flat out on point.

It’s World Series time. As October closes, we are reminded that another year is ending. That means it’s go time! It’s our time – all of ours – to connect, to hit the ball, to move toward whatever we need to achieve to live our best life in this season.

I highlighted a small part of his new book “Stillness” last week and I could seriously blog the rest of this year on this one short read. ‘Stillness’ alone is a mesmerizing concept, as it sometimes seems unattainable. I have read and listened to stories of professional athletes being so mentally zoned in, so focused, that they are able to shut out the crowds and distractions. They practice and practice to get their minds so quiet that they can monomaniacally concentrate on their one goal: to hit the ball; to connect with their passion.

How do you slow down enough to connect? What actions do you take on a regular basis to clear the path you are on so you can walk or run safely with confidence toward your destination? Fall is a great time to take in nature, and being out in it is perhaps my favorite way to find space to breathe deeply and clear my mind. Exercising can sometimes to do that, as can walking aimlessly through Target or TJMaxx. (Not just me, right?) Working in the yard, and (sadly) even shoveling snow does it for me, too.

It would be fun if some of you shared your ideas. We can all benefit from ideas and strategies to connect with our goals in a better way. If we can do this, we can certainly serve better. After all, that is why we are all here… TO SERVE.

Immersing ourselves in all seasons! (Bring on the fall leaves & eventually even the snow!)

There are some seasons of our lives we would rather just skip over. Some actual seasons, such as winter, that we may be compelled to do the same. (I’ll take the first snowfall and then give winter back…).

The idea of not skipping seasons hung with me for a bit, and I thought it may with you as well. I have found, through reflection, that all seasons are important and frequently critical to my personal development and ability to succeed better in the next phase. Whether that growth be emotional, spiritual, financial or professional. If I would have somehow been able to skip them or chose not to grow through and with them, I flat out wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have the inherent wisdom I may have gained, and I certainly couldn’t share it, with the idea of helping others through a similar passage.

I have always believed our lives evolve with an intentional plan. A plan that God put into play when he designed this crazy beautiful (and also, separately, crazy & beautiful) world we live in. I believe we learn best from others sharing their journey and when we live out the seasons head on, taking the good …and the “not so much” as they come. When we commit to continuous growth and learning, we can use the stories and experiences of others – and our own – as arsenal to make for an even better season next time.

So…we are in the middle of fall, (AKA football season, all things apple, pumpkin spice, fires, jeans, flannel and, of course, boots!). I’m not sure where this season finds you in your life, but I hope that you will honor it for all it’s worth. Honor it with gratitude and eyes and ears that are wide open to see and hear where you can serve yourself and others the best. Even when the winter seasons come around – and they always do – we can choose to find joy and embrace whatever it is with the spirit of a child, ready to take it ALL ON! 

*Side note, with fall being a busy season, we are changing up the days we post to Wednesday/Sunday from Tuesday/Thursday/Sunday. I'd love your feedback! It is such a gift to be able to write and hopefully inspire, and I (of course) always want to know how I can do that best for those who take the time to read these short insights!