To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Growth

The power of our decisions (Yep, we get to decide, cultivate and grow – or not.)

Today I’m thinking through about how we have the power to choose. Ultimately – especially in the United States – we have the opportunity to choose from an endless amount of options for our careers, our living arrangements, the foods we eat, our physical and mental well being, our relationships, our spiritual practices, and the list goes on. We also get to choose from a list of emotional choices that can create a thriving life. Are we choosing to be grateful? Kind? Resilient? Health focused?

I think personally it’s helpful to stop and ask myself some hard questions, such as: “Why am I choosing what I have, and is there a better “yes?” (Am I investing my time in areas that align to my personal values MOST of the time? Am I choosing generosity and kindness, or to speak out unkind thoughts and emotions?) Also, “What choices have I not made but really wish I would or could change somehow and why haven’t I changed directions?” (Am I optimizing God’s purpose for my life, or for some reason, just riding out my current choices?) It seems that sometimes life feels like you got on a long train ride and for some reason, the next station looks really cool and you think you should stop, but you just stay on board, because it wasn’t your intended destination.

How do we make an adjustment if we think we need to? My personal go to is always to do whatever it is I need to in order to hear from God. This comes from leaning in… often from conversations with friends and family and reading, and many times from time in silence and removing any distractions. This is easier said than done, but we can position our hearts and minds to receive guidance.

The field of positive psychology is the scientific study of the strengths that enable individuals and communities to thrive. It’s a relatively new area of study, (The field originated in the year 2000 which I find interesting. I think I’d have considered it if it were an option circa 1986.) One fact I thought was interesting during my research is that the field focuses on “eudaimonia,” an ancient Greek term for “the good life,” and the concept for reflection on the factors that contribute the most to a well-lived and fulfilling life. What is the “good life” to you? What contributes to fulfillment in your mind? This brings forward a slightly different way to look at these insights on choice and optimization of your life.

As you think through your days, I hope it’s useful to you to consider this idea of CHOICE and the GOOD LIFE. No doubt, all sorts of good and bad come our way, but ultimately we can choose to respond in ways that support how we want to live our lives. That is a POWERFUL gift really. Make no mistake, your choices, impact all around you. If we were to all commit to cultivating the “BEST YES” for us, I believe we would only become stronger and stronger with each decision, and thus serve one another better. Anyone else love that idea?

I pray you are having a truly wonderful week.

3 strategies to win the day

I am oftentimes reminded that we need to try to win each day, as tomorrow is never promised.

So, let’s jump in with some ideas around this thought!

  1. Start with what winning is to you! What brings you true joy? (Yes, that can include your career, school, etc.) Who are your “must haves,” as in I can’t imagine my life without [enter your closest friends and family names here]?
  2. Audit your schedule, specifically the last 90 days. Does how you spent your time line up with your definition?
  3. Align what your version of winning is with your next 90 days. Schedule that coffee date, start reading that book, connect with what or who fills your proverbial cup.

Here’s to a week filled with owning a life that allows you to full on seek and find joy.

Emerge energized: Getting to radical transformation

Have you ever witnessed a butterfly emerge from a cocoon? I had the opportunity this fall to see that process for the first time. It is incredible. (that I recall… my apologies to some amazing science teacher out there that likely taught me at some point).

Here are the basic steps:

  • A caterpillar is hatched from an egg.
  • The caterpillar, or at this point, technically a larva, stuffs itself with leaves…. growing and growing and thru a series of molts it sheds its skin.
  • The caterpillar stops eating, hangs upside down from a twig or leaf and spins itself miraculously a silky cocoon, the proper name: “chrysalis.”
  • Within that casing it goes through RADICAL transformation and one day, BOOM… it EMERGES as a butterfly! (Only 10-14 days in this phase!)

So, I asked a good friend what she thought of when I said the phrase, “Emerge Energized,” and with a science background, she expressed the thought through this lens. Of course it was brilliant so I totally stole the idea from her. But, here’s the real question: What happens during that RADICAL transformation? I mean, what in the world could happen in such a very short period of time to create such a stunning creature?

In short, cells are organizing… They use the substance surrounding them, a protein-rich “soup” if you will, to fuel the rapid growth and form their best selves. This is where today’s primary message is directed.

Just how do us humans get this magical protein-rich “soup” to help us accelerate our growth… to help us have that spiritual, financial, relational, focus we so desire? (So many other categories, but those are strong contenders.) Folks, to me this points directly to the importance of community and surrounding ourselves with the people that are helping us become better people. I’ve shared this before, but it bears repeating... Are your closest friends and family bringing you closer to your best self? Is your spiritual life better because of their presence? Are they moving you closer to or further from your health goals? Do they elevate you and of course likewise? Do you encourage one another? Hold each other accountable? In short, do they make you better?

We CAN emerge energized. We can in fact, become stronger at this “life game” every day, but we cannot do this on our own. We need to be focused on who it is that speaks into our lives and we need to bring in those that can help us if we don’t have those people today. As we start the year, it seems the ideal time to run thru this exercise in each of our key categories of focus, such as those listed above, and then if we have a gap, develop an intentional strategy to ensure we have the right people on our team. I can assure you it’s worth your time. I have a bit of work to do and honestly I’m excited about new conversations and continuing to learn.

*This seems like a good time to throw this out there… so glad Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce, Tyreek Hill and others are on our TEAM! GO CHIEFS!

Let’s AMPLIFY together in service to others

Happy New Year! The energy the turn of a page brings cannot be understated. The opportunity to start fresh is powerful, regardless if you are moving from second to third grade, into a new career or simply turning the calendar day over, launching into a new year ahead. A full 365 days to move toward your dreams and calling.

I was so inspired over the past few days while reading “Our Better Angels,” written by Jonathan Reckford the CEO for Habitat for Humanity. I am well aware of the organization, but have not been involved and honestly had no idea of the stories that he unfolded in the book. Former President Jimmy Carter and his wife, Ruth, have been vested fully in this work for many years, and their work on homes while well into their 90s was enough to give me a swift kick in the pants (as my grandmother used to say).

Sometimes, we all need to a bit of a shake up to realize we can make a difference no matter what resources, circumstances or age we find ourselves at.

The title came from President Lincoln’s first inaugural address, he expressed hope that we could all remember our shared unity if we would hearken to “the better angels of our nature.” I felt like that was a solid statement as we launch into the year. My mind tends to go to the “What ifs.” As in… What if we all chose 2021 to focus on each other... for us all to make a commitment to serve others every single day? What if we all found ourselves stopping by a nursing home with a cheery card for the resident who needs it most? What if we stopped to listen, made that call, committed to sending messages of appreciation out each day? What if we truly went on a mission to understand poverty –– how it happens in our country and what needs to happen for us to collectively and meaningfully move toward a better world? What if?

I am in the midst of my 2021 planning and I don’t know yet how often I’ll blog, but I do know that God continues to call me to do so. I have changed over the years from 3 times per week to 2, for example. I would love to hear any feedback you have so I can learn from it!

What I do know is this idea of “To Serve Well” was a God-delivered title and a focus that I will likely always have. I may finally push my small book off to print this year. The manuscript has been sitting dormant for I think 2 years now… I’m not sure what the world needs, but I do know that I hope to do my part. I would love nothing more than to know I served well. It is my belief that we were all put here to do just that and to live out being the hands and feet of Jesus to all that God has placed in our path.

Have a truly great celebration this week, regardless of how small it might be… I’m praying that the intimacy of the moment as we transition to the new year brings you great joy.

The power in our first waking thoughts

“For many of us, our first waking thought of the day is, ‘I didn’t get enough sleep.'” (Brene Brown- The Gifts of Imperfection)

How many of us wake up and immediately have thoughts such as, “I’m still tired, I better stay here a bit longer,” or “I can work out later,” or “I have a big day, and need the energy… (AKA, I’ll just hit snooze again….)?”

DANG, I’m totally in that group. Those who study human behavior call this “scarcity” thinking… As in, we aren’t waking up with a focus first on the positive but with a notion of lack… “I am healthy. I am so blessed to wake up and have a purpose.”

You get the picture. I am TOTALLY feeling this one.

In the book noted above (which Brene recently re-released), the “not enough” thinking seems to saturate us early and often. Not enough exercise, work, money, power, time off, weekends, etc. “Before we even sit up in bed, we’re inadequate, behind…already lacking something.” We end the same way, thinking about what we didn’t get to… what remains… Ugh! Why do we do that? According to Brown (and boy is she right on point), “We each have the choice in ANY SETTING to step back and let go of the mind-set of scarcity. Once we let go of scarcity, we discover the surprising truth of sufficiency…a knowing that there IS ENOUGH, and THAT WE ARE ENOUGH.”

We should all pay attention to our thoughts. Our ultimate goal is toward “abundant” thinking. The idea is that focusing on abundance directs us to think through the possible good in each situation. The power of our first thoughts of each day can set the course for the day, and propel us forward, or leave us still in bed, while the world is moving ahead. We are far more incredible than we ever give ourselves credit for. We are powerful and strong and even on those days when we feel we cannot be enough, THAT EVEN WILL BE ENOUGH!

I hope that this message somehow resonates with you as well. The power of the moment as we start our day, should be with some bravado…some touch of momentum and badassery if you will. We are all gifted and able to bring forth a positive movement for this very day. My prayer is that God will work on our minds and allow us to be all we are intended to be.

Bring a point of view

‘Bringing your point of view‘ should be a critical lesson taught early on! (As we know from personal experience, teenagers have one already, so learning how to bring forth a healthy point of view is the focus :))

What I have found is that the companies that hire us are paying us to bring forward our skills, our expertise, our gifts… in the form often of sharing our point of view. And of course, in any type of relationship, we need to be able to share our perspective (our voice if you will) in a healthy way. (I will throw in here that when we are advocating for someone else, such as someone who can’t speak for themselves, then this becomes especially critical.) Being able to do this in all situations can take enormous courage and is a hot topic with popular speakers and authors, notably, Brene Brown in her work Daring Leadership. When I was preparing for today’s blog post, I spent some time contemplating just why it does take so much courage and why are we sometimes not as bold as we hope? Here’s what I came up with….

  1. I’m not even sure we know what a point of view looks like, nor how to bring it forward in a healthy manner in our conversations? Adding to that stream of thought: Maybe it’s that we don’t know what our point of view really is because is vacillates… it’s often not black and white and hard to pin down. I’m a moderate so I often find myself stuck here.
  2. My challenge in my career has been in not understanding that others really do want and need my point of view. I learned this as a senior leader, and am good when sharing it with the folks on our team, but when sharing upward, that hasn’t been true. I finally realized that this is EXACTLY what is needed and desired. It often takes a lot of courage to take a position on a controversial topic, but it is absolutely essential to a healthy workplace. (Side note: I think this is precisely the reason people have not felt until this generation… (Thank you Millennials and Gen Z for showing us how to do this!) that we could address complex issues such as inclusion in the workplace. What a thrill it is to hear voices heard on substantial topics that impact us all.)
  3. Capturing the above two points in a different way… the definition of courage is “The ability to do something that frightens one.” The entire process takes vulnerability and we flat out haven’t generally been trained to be vulnerable. (Side note: Here’s where I think we all need to train ourselves or advocate that our children and all future generations learn early how to do this well. Brene Brown’s work is a terrific place to start… perhaps start with her books, listening to her podcasts, or find someone else who speaks on the topic that you gel with better…). Regardless, it’s important… We can do a world of difference by ensuring this is a dinner table topic on the regular. I know I didn’t even contemplate this at ours until recently.

Here’s to always learning and growing. My hope and prayer today is that we can all get to bringing forth health perspectives and courageously sharing our points of view. God gave us all these brilliants minds, and we should share our stories and voice to ensure a wide understanding to heard.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Time to exhale

How are you making this Labor Day weekend count? I like to think that this holiday isn’t just about taking a break, but rather about emotionally exhaling.

This weekend used to wind down the summer before school started. Alas, that isn’t the case anymore. August’s onslaught of obligations, activities, etc. are in full force for most of us. But wait, didn’t summer just start? So obviously, Labor Day weekend is a really good time to take a breather.

“Emotionally exhaling” doesn’t take much. (That’s sort of the point.)

Reading, life planning, sharing a meal or two with friends or family, a visit to the farmer’s market, and  a chance to take in the last days of poolside bliss. Those work for me, but for others it’s about rock climbing, marathons and shopping extravaganzas. Reflect on what this weekend should look like for you based on the season of your life. Be a little selfish – you deserve it.

There is a great book that came out a few years ago called “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst. It calls out to us to make the best decision for ourselves at that given moment and season. So, what does your soul need this weekend? There is still time to make it happen.

Whatever you do with the rest of your long weekend, I hope that you will emotionally exhale.

(Rewind! This is a throwback post that felt really, really relevant to this particular Labor Day!)

Hello September: Setting ourselves up for a meaningful and fun wrap to 2020

I have a weekly email to our team at work where I share some fun ideas or things I’ve seen over the week that could offer inspiration or hope. For many, September is like the “other” January, locking into the back to school mindset, and contemplating what you want to accomplish to pull off a truly meaningful year. With so much being different this year, this seems of the highest importance… to truly not let it “go by.” After all, we are only given so many years, and even though one has tried to cancel many of our plans, we can get creative and still ensure we are better at the end of it!

One of the best ideas I saw last week was was putting together a bucket list for the rest of 2020. Something that would be easy, but yet make it perhaps a bit exciting. My mom and I were texting the other night about how nice it would be to actually be able to go visit her Aunt Clara still this year. I loved that and thought it was a good one to add to the list.

Where does your mind go when thinking about what you want to do yet this year? A fall camping trip? A COVID-19-friendly visit to relatives or friends who are a road trip away? A financial goal? How about a wellness goal? Take your first yoga class, or at least try some of the great ones on YouTube? Add deep breathing exercises to your regimen, or create your own 5K walk or run with some friends? How about spiritual goals? How about seeking out a spiritual mentor in a person or some great authors that helps you learn and grow? Family goals? Create a family mission statement? Decide on a place to serve and do it together monthly for the last part of the year?

Where can you dream a bit and what are you willing to commit to? Make it easy, fun and impactful. Please share your ideas! Have an amazing wrap to your week and long weekend ahead, if that is in the cards for you.

As always, cheering your journey on and praying that you will find yourself feeling energized and hopeful if you decide to spend some time with this idea!

Did you know you don’t have to jump on every train of thought?

This was a useful reminder for me and perhaps it will be for you as well. I love this idea that I heard recently, “we don’t have to jump on every train of thought.” 

According to google the tendencies of our mind are powerful by sheer number. From the web:

Tendencies of the mind

It was found that the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those thousands of thoughts, 80% were negative, and 95% were exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.

Wow… those are a lot of thoughts –– no wonder I’m tired. My mind seems to always be working … running from thought to thought. On top of that, these thoughts lead to a trail of distractions that impact us all, taking us off of one “train” and shifting us to another often before we realized what happened. Did we even have time to grab our bags so you speak before we relocated our thoughts and actions? (Research shows it takes 2-5 minutes to get refocused after we get off track.) 

And then we take this to a new level and we come head to head with do I even want to be on the train I find myself on? Why do I even care what he or she thinks or why am I even looking at those (cars… clothes… shoes) when I’m already stretched on my budget. Heck… how did I even get this thought into my head that I should search this?

An important reminder today to guard your thought life. It’s the most powerful part of our days and being on the trains that take us to beautiful destinations and lead us to places of growth are two terrific places to start. 

Your energy: What exactly is worth yours?

Our energy is a finite resource. We have 24 hours a day and only so much energy to invest. As we contemplate a life of serving well, it’s a thought to capture and spend some quality time with. The term “energy management” found it’s way into my thought world about a year ago and based on the fact that it keeps showing back up, may be it’s telling me something.

Most of us know the term “time management,” and there is no shortage of productivity hacks and resources on the topic. I was an old-school fan of Franklin Covey and his systems have carried me along quite nicely for the last three decades. What takes me into the next five decades may be better classified under “energy management.” Just where can I optimize my mental and physical game?

A bit of research tells us the story that makes sense as to how we got to where we are today. The notion of time management and the universal 40-hour work week was based on factory laborers primarily, and the sheer fact that after 40 hours, workers became less productive. Makes perfect sense.

Today’s reality is quite different, as well as our knowledge that flexibility in recognizing work and personality styles are central to our happiness and… the ability to flat out “get things done,” aka productivity. We need to know what drives us and when we are more likely to get in “the zone” in order to be our best.

Since I generally focus on brief insights, I won’t list out the many directions we could go with the conversation, but one thing that I felt was super powerful upon researching this topic, sends us back to time management. Truly tracking for a few days, when you are at your best and what you are doing when you are in that space gives us the clues we need. What gives you energy and what sucks the very life out of you? (Okay, maybe that’s drastic. But maybe not…) Once you do this exercise, then protecting your calendar is the next step. The focus: Identifying and securing your best “zones” and driving your life in that direction. Have a strong wrap to your week! (And as the picture illustrates… I think moving in the great outdoors is most definitely an energy builder for me! What do you know for sure gives you energy?)