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‘Tis the Season… Energy rising, building momentum and a “should” detox.

Who is so thankful for Spring? It somehow seems magical when the weather is “just perfect” or at least “near perfect” and you can put on your tennis shoes and get a walk in… You can almost feel the momentum of your energy building. The impact of getting outside and taking in nature is so important to our overall health and wellness that when the conditions make that possible, we should take the hint and get moving.

As many of you know, I am a Peloton fan, and specifically that of Robin Arzon. I find her to be just what I need with a balance of motivation, real talk and a bit more than a gentle push… all in the spirit of helping us achieve whatever is best for us. That’s important because she readily acknowledges that all levels and all seasons of life are represented in her virtual classes, and often encourages modification. Somehow I think it is really important that all of us know that in life – whether it’s in fitness, food, mental wellness, spiritual, financial…or “name a segment of life” – modification is important. Sure, I know personally that I need pushed out of my comfort zone, but overall, if I am going to sustain pretty much anything, I need to fully be able to “modify” without feeling bad, weak, or anything that’s not supportive (or else… I’ll just stop… anyone else?).

In a class I took last week, Robin shared that she was going on a “should detox.” How awesome is that? Simply, replace “should” with “can!” As in, replace “I should have had a salad, but the pasta on the menu is what they are known for, so I really just had to…” with “I can have the pasta, but it’s not in alignment with where I want to be right now in my physical health, so I am going to choose the salad.” Okay, so that was too easy, but you get the point.

Who wants to see their ENERGY RISE even higher this Spring? I am at the front of the line. Along with the beautiful Spring days and the endless opportunities we have to step into our power through healthy decisions… for example, the “should detox,”… we have all we need to get moving and inspire ourselves and each other to action. I’d love to hear your tips… I know my friend Michelle would say “play Pickle Ball as much as possible,” and Anaxis would say, “increase your water.” I could go on! It’s energizing to share ideas on a topic that brings us so much good. Perhaps this week, our goal could be to start our conversations by asking for others to share their tips. In doing so, we can literally raise the ENERGY and VIBRATION of the environment around us!

Have an incredible week my friends!

A bias for action… 3 to take by the end of the year (in the category of life optimization!)

Photo cred: Washington Post

The story behind this picture is incredible. The headline stated: “A man strung Christmas lights from his home to his neighbor’s to support her. The whole community followed.”

A bit more detail: In this Baltimore neighborhood, a family received a text from their neighbor that cookies were on the porch and that he had connected their houses with lights to reinforce that they were always connected despite the pandemic lockdown. The neighbor had previously shared that she was dealing with depression and anxiety, as well as grieving the loss of a loved one and struggling with work-related stress. The mounting pressure had led to panic attacks and her neighbor could relate. In the days that followed, the neighbors – one by one – followed suit and stretched lights from one end of the street to the other.

“The lights were a physical sign of connection and love,” quoting the man who started it all via the Washington Post article. Going on, “What blows my mind is that it was all organic… it just happened… It just grew out of everybody’s desire for beauty and joy and connection.” (Check out the full article – it’s great!)

Ending a year well to me is primarily about this message; the overarching message the “Love Lives Here” is worthy of a tattoo if you ask me. It strikes that inner knowing that we are meant for so much more. That we can if we choose to use both our painful experiences/memories and all of the good moments and kindness we have been a part of, we can inspire the world around us. All of us have this ability and that is proven by countless stories of those in dire situations who rise above.

So, what three actions can we take as we finish off 2021? They may look a little different for each of us, but here are the insights that I feel are “must haves” to truly finish strong. My wish is that one or more might resonate with you and ignite something that will help move you to the best version of yourself.

1. Take inventory. (Look behind to look forward.) There is no shortage of “21 lessons learned in 21,” and some are useful for getting our memories ignited. Often I go through pictures on my phone to remember the moments that stood out. Taking inventory of the year belongs on this “must do” list. We are only given so many years, and time is fleeting. I happen to believe that almost all of life’s happenings are by design and that the people we meet, and experiences we have all have a purpose; whether in a moment, a month, season or lifetime. Take inventory of what stood out to you this year, including the highlights and lowlights and learnings and musings… Bonus points if you store it somewhere where you can create a system for future reflection. (Anyone else rely on the “notes” app on their phone?)

I did this a few days ago and WOW. I had forgotten some really important moments and lessons and it reminded me of what I truly want in my life: To be vulnerable, one was how my sister and I have had more time this year for coffee dates. Those meaningful conversations on the patio of Meadowbrook Park, have been a big part of my life this year. They have guided me and provided a warm and loving space to connect with my first and forever best friend. Too many years have gone by where we didn’t make time for these deeper moments, and it has meant the world to me.

2. Create a gratitude plan. Using the inventory, be it 5 things or 100, identify where you really owe some thanks. It could be for a lesson learned, the neighbor that pulled your car out of the ditch, (or the friend that symbolically did the same for you on a bad day…) or your own family for extending love even when you perhaps could not. Now, go out and thank those people. One meaningful conversation can be just a powerful as a bunch of short texts or messages. Let your heart lead you! (I know we talk about gratitude quite often, but the increasing research on happiness seems to always be sourcing back to starting with gratitude. I am convinced that doubling down on being grateful and taking the time to acknowledge people and the good that is ever present is critical in today’s society.)

One example here is that my friend Joanne, who is always the one that is so good about ensuring we stay connected, decided to start inviting me over for coffee realizing my schedule was typically very full. She has great wi-fi and always accommodated me taking work calls if we talked too close up to my next meeting. She took a normal Tuesday morning and turned it into something exceptional. They were some of my favorite days and it was easy. I feel full of gratitude as I reflected on these special moments. As you can see, this idea of really thinking through allows you to plan your future days and create the life you really want.

3. Set your intentions. Energy is a precious commodity. We must be mindful of where and how we use it if we are to optimize our days in this often fast paced contemporary world. My grandmother, at 96, said, “You have to keep getting up and moving, even if you don’t feel like it.” I hope to never forget that, because it is profound. She set her intention to do just that every day as she aged and this alone makes the case for the power for of intention. We have to decide what we want and in that way we begin to manifest our days.

One of my boys shared with me that he really wanted 2022 to be about building his financial health, get some savings in place, invest etc. I loved that because whether or not he knew it, he was setting an intention. We will go deeper in this topic as we launch the new year with some other ideas such as creating life maps and our “one word,” but for today, the idea is to think through the base of what you want as you move forward into a new year. The bottom line is that if you know what you want out of it, you can drive your energy (mental, physical etc.) toward supporting that desire. When it is all aligned, it sets forth the best path for success.

As you go into the Christmas weekend, I am praying that you all have an absolutely warm and wonderful time, filled with whatever brings you love and hope. As this beautiful neighborhood illustrated for us, LOVE LIVES HERE… Indeed, it does!

Simple Thoughts Sunday: “I looked around the room and saw…” The power of cultivating friendships

I had the most amazing experience last night. My dear friend Cindie did what I think many of us dream of doing and the “some day” part of that comes into play and it doesn’t happen. She hosted a few of us for what we thought was our annual Christmas gathering (and of course, watching our KC Chiefs play), but this year she brought all kinds of magic moments. She set the most beautiful table, she put so much care and thought, planning and intention into everything from the menu to her incredible toast to our life long friendship that it left us all spinning.

She started her toast with a simple, “I looked around the room…” and she went on to note either experiences or gifts that adorned her home and her heart with memories of our friendship. That friendship started in the neighborhood when all of our kids were about kindergarten age and has been steeped and sowed over lake trips, soccer sidelines, pool gatherings, birthday parties, holidays, graduations and now weddings. There has been so many changes for all of us over the last 20 years, moves, new jobs, heart break, love won and love lost, the passing of parents and much of the normal journeys of life.

One of my favorite pastors, Adam Hamilton, often asks us to think about who our “stretcher bearers” might be if we passed. His point is that it is helpful in life to cultivate strong friendships and to surround yourself with people that bring the best out of you and that will stay with you through “it all.” It’s powerful.

As we go into celebrating the last part of 2021 and this week, a focus on the birth of Christ, it seemed useful to me to share this story in hopes that we might all do whatever we can in this season to acknowledge, call out and love a little deeper those long lasting friendships that literally form and mold our lives. They infuse life with joy and hope and that is to me, a huge part of the Christmas message.

Here’s to wrapping up all of the good and not so good parts of the year and reaching forward with all of the love we can give this week.

More perfect days: 3 ideas to MAKE IT HAPPEN

What is YOUR perfect day? This picture took me back to the days where you could drive down the highway in the back of a pick-up truck and the thought brought a smile. We’ve all heard the message that we only have so many hours, days and weeks, and that we would be wise to live our lives as if we may not have another chance tomorrow. It’s not the cheeriest message, but it is true and I know many of you have come face-to-face with that. It strikes me that a worthy goal for all of us could be to have more “perfect days.” Perfect as in: What really warms your heart, brings you energy, a smile and a deep sense of joy? Identify it, and then do it!

I love to ask this question as an ice breaker because it is a blast to hear everyone’s version. I love learning and observing the endless ways people live their lives and soak up happiness. Surfers, farmers, old car collectors, chefs, runners, quilters… all of it! I got to thinking it may be useful to blog about it! As always, I hope this is helpful as we all strive toward serving this world in a way that only we can.

  1. Get some CLARITY around what a perfect day looks like for you. I love to wake up early, add in a bit of exercise, a trip to the farmer’s market, spend time with someone I love, and maybe take a nap… On the other hand, I also love to have a lazy day with no schedule and the ability to just let the day flow as it does – reading, listening to great music, the latest Netflix binge, a good bottle of wine… There are no wrong answers! I see value in being specific – What food will you eat? What exercise will you do? Two or three versions of your perfect day could be a good start, including a work day!
  2. Next, SCHEDULE these! Living out our best lives takes INTENTION. I know this sounds easy, but it is truly amazing how you can look back on the past month and ask yourself how many “perfect” days you had and only be able to think of maybe one or two. Why is that? It’s because we have to put plans in place to clear off our days to ensure we MAKE IT HAPPEN. You may have to move things that aren’t your best yes, and that is simply okay. What if, for the month of November, you try to double the number of perfect days you had in October? Personally, that sounds like a goal worth my time.
  3. Share the idea with those in your immediate circle. Talk with your family, colleagues, etc., and ask them to do the same so you can hold each other accountable. Community is what connects us and helps us thrive. We truly cannot do this life on our own.

Here’s to another strong week and many perfect days ahead! Let’s wrap up 2021 with more joy than we started it with!

It’s time to add some fun to your calendar

I was in a conversation recently asking a friend what they are excited about. They honestly couldn’t think of anything. Have you ever been there? It’s been a long year plus and endless unknowns have created many to pause on planning pretty much anything!

I was thrilled to see that schools are actually planning to have graduations this year. The bottom line is that big and small “events” alike are important and are a significant part of the human experience.

“Studies from Cornwall University have found those who (for example) plan a trip in advance, experience better feelings about their social situation, economic means, state of health and life life in general.” (via goodnewsnetwork.com). When we have something to look forward to, we are filled with a sense of anticipation and even excitement. It can make the days leading up better and brighter.

Todays’ brief insight is focused on our mental health. Sure, it takes intention and planning, but regardless if it’s a staycation, a weekend getaway or a lifetime trip, (or not even a vacation at all, but a fun lunch or day out with those who bring you energy!) we will be happier and healthier if we take time to add some FUN AND JOY to our calendar. If you happen to take care of parents or loved ones in anyway, or even have young adults in your life, it would be good to see what they are planning, or help them come up with something to look forward to! There are so many opportunities at all price levels from free (well, maybe some gas in the car…) on up, so don’t let that be a deterrent.

I for one have a wedding I get to attend this weekend and I couldn’t be more excited to share in this love story. Praying for you all as you wrap the week and hoping to hear your adventure stories along the way!

What if: The impact we can make

Rewind! Throwing it back to a post from last year that will, I hope, help us ring in this holiday season like no other.

What if we all took some time this week to ask ourselves this question? What if we started the same conversation topic around every table we find ourselves at this week? Kitchen table? Board room? At bingo night? Over a card game? What if?

There is profound power to be found in this. The power to improve lives. The power to be a blessing that someone has no idea is about to hit them. The power to scale a mountain (or perceived barrier). The power to upend the status quo. The power to use our gifts in such a way that those around us are all better for it.

What if…

What if you knew the woman in front of you in the carpool line was just diagnosed with cancer, and she is silently being courageous for her kids, though she desperately needs support? What if the family at church that seems to have it all together really doesn’t, and is struggling to pay their electric bill? What if your child knew that three kids in their class of 20 don’t have enough to eat at home, let alone have the means to sign up for organized soccer. (By the way, statistics show it may actually be more than three. Folks, there are a lot of people that leverage their lives on credit cards, trying to act as if they are fine. Sadly, it’s the American way.)

We can take this into the work place, our retirement communities and many other directions.

We so often get caught up in our own lives. What do I need to accomplish? What is going on with my family? How am I going to navigate the busy fall schedule?

What if we put all of that aside and shift the conversation to others?

There’s power in dialing the focus over to how to use our gifts – time, talent, resources, treasure – for other people. How about we move in the direction of making an impact on those around us? A simple Google search can tell you, for example, the number of people who are food insecure in your zip code (check out feedingamerica.org). What if we all grab a friend, and identify a school, or some other community within our neighborhood to impact together?

WHAT IF?

Thoughts toward action: The next 30 days… and then the next 30 days

I’m sure we have all had one or multiple conversations this week around our nation’s racial equality issues. The problems run deep and require a higher level of understanding than what you get if you’re just scrolling through headlines. I personally have spent a few years working on building my own understanding of the inequalities that exist in our world, and yet I would still put myself at a 3 on a scale of 1 to 10 when it comes to having true understanding. I have a lot of work to do, and I’m guessing this week taught you that you do, too.

When we hear phrases like “we need systemic change,” it’s easy to lose momentum because of how daunting that sounds. Systemic changes come with actions like voting. Tragically, there are some who feel like their vote hasn’t been heard in the past, which can really take a toll on hope for real, sustainable change.

America needs a leader –– many leaders. We need folks who can galvanize us around a mission: A mission to tackle these issues head-on, including the education system and the criminal justice system.

I titled this “The next 30 days” because I am hearing folks say they want to start somewhere meaningful. The majority of people genuinely want to take action and want to move our country forward, as the peaceful protests show.

There is work we all can and should do. Know that it’s not easy, but it’s important. We all have a part to play in creating change. It should be clear that this has taken many years to reach this level and it will be a marathon, strong and steady, to move forward. Check out this post on Medium for a list of 75 ways you can contribute your time, energy and resources. I’ve poured through it, and it taught me a few things. I know it can feel overwhelming and hard to know what to really do next. My prayer is for God to direct me toward clarity of impact. Thus, the idea on starting in 30 day increments…

My thought process is to break it down into some areas where I – and most others – could use grounded information with the goal of building foundational understanding. Here we go…

  • Listen to understand. Reach out to the people in your life who are from other backgrounds. Ask them how they’re doing. Ask them to tell you their story of living in this world. Listen intently. My goal is to have three truly strong, meaningful conversations during the next 30 days.
  • Read to understand. Take the time to read up on structural racism to better understand the gravity and depth of the reality we find ourselves living in. (Developing a common understanding is central to getting to the root of the problem. Check this site out for videos and other resources, as a starting point. And if you haven’t already seen it, check out this IGTV post from Viola Davis!)
  • Research local. Look for examples of systematic issues in your state or area. Education is a terrific place to start and was recommended by a friend and after a close review, I would say education reform is mission critical. I will use Kansas as an example. On this site, you can compare the many variances between districts. When you see gaps in performance, consider the lost opportunity children have across the state. This alone should demonstrate that this is a primary issue that we all need to consider critical to achieving equality. (If diving through data isn’t your thing, watch the documentary “Waiting for Superman,” for terrific content on the topic.)

I hope this helps you on our collective journey to serve well. If we keep perspective, keep praying, be kind always, and keep moving with unbridled determination and strength, we will create change. We have to believe that and lock arms tightly.

Simple Thoughts Sunday: Hold the tension until something beautiful comes forward

… As in the miracle of childbirth itself.
…As in that first real fight and talking through it until you both grow (my friend calls it building relationship muscle – I like that!).
…As in diligently digging yourself out of a tough financial situation.

All of these examples, while valid, don’t speak to the true tension most of us are feeling on this day. The voice of America is loud right now and God help us that it produces a path forward – a change in direction… a call for us all to not stop short of pursuing justice and equality until it is achieved.

This tension, and the beauty that could come forward after, is like deeply inhaling the mountain air. There is joy and peace in those places after much work has been done.

With so much heavy news over the last few months, and especially these last few weeks, I’m even more committed to this idea that we have to keep holding on… pushing thru. Beauty can come. I believe that.

Brené Brown’s wonderful “Unlocking Us” podcast episode with actors Jay and Mark Duplass on the Power of Paradox was deep and captivating.  The conversation –– not at all intended to take on the weight of the tensions we are facing in America in this moment –– offered the listener an opportunity to ignite thinking around tension, and how we might deal with it: pushing ourselves through the pain, committing to one another, staying unrelenting and strong.

Scripture shares the following:

“To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He might be glorified.”

Isaiah 61:3 KJV

I’m not typically a King James advocate (preferring instead something I can relate to more easily), however this is genuinely spot on from my perspective.

The foundation on which we stand started with struggle, and God’s word offers us comfort in knowing that we can expect beauty from ashes. It would be too hard to believe, had I not have had personal exposure to the stunning reality. I have witnessed all manner of struggle… emotional and physical abuse, poverty, illness among those who were far too young, and even hate crimes and murder. I have seen God’s redemption in my story and in those of some dear loved ones at every turn.

I have also seen many stories, like those we face in America right now, resulting in tragedies that prove we are far from achieving equality to all. Stories that should bring tension to and haunt all of us. Stories that should ignite us to push harder, to act in some way…

I want to hold the tension along with my friends that represent every minority group, and to do so until we find something beautiful together. I believe we will find more tension first, but as a Christian believer, I hold strong on that if we stay tuned in, pray for direction and act with love that we can press forward together. We can heal and find beauty. I feel that. I also feel this will require a fight … a fight forward and toward unity.

On Wednesday’s blog my goal will be to provide a short list of actions (We must ACT versus just say/post/share.) that all audiences and ages can participate in. For today, check out the website www.bethebridge.com. It seems to be a great starting point.

If you happen to have an idea please reach out to me. Thank you!

In the midst of a cultural reset: shifting to all that is strength

This incredible photo of an Osprey, is courtesy of @_thepaintedsky, aka Jessica Walker, who I happened upon via @annvoskamp’s unbelievably beautiful weekly blog, “Only the Good Stuff: Multivitamins for your Weekend”

This thought narrative of a “cultural reset” came from a post from Rebekah Lyons titled, “Look what we get to do together.” In the spirit of transparency, I needed more than anything this week to shift from bewilderment to my normal operating mode, which is, “what if? What is God working on? What am I to learn from where I am or we are right now, and how do I or we move ahead with bold and positive strength (of ideas, wisdom, peace)?” This idea has me right where I need to be right now, and I wonder if it might be beneficial for you as well. I feel like the universe is saying, “yep, that’s exactly what we need to do.” Shift. Advance to the next step.

This beautiful photograph led me on a trail to find out just what that bird was. The Osprey made its way into the books in 1460 and its name means “bird of prey.” This beautiful creature is an incredible fishing sportsman, catching a meal in at least 1 in every 4 dives. (Goodness, Audrie, why can’t I catch a fish after 100 casts of the line?) Their average time hunting is all of 12 minutes. They are, essentially, badasses. The Osprey also is agile, building nests on the tops of telephone poles and other manmade structures, which makes them unique. In my mind, they look around and see what is available, what is worthy and they make it their place – regardless of where it is.

I have a couple of thoughts stirring. First, as a human, we are at the top of the food chain (so to speak). In other words, God made us the original badasses. We have been given, and are given daily, all that we need. This is pure truth folks. You are strong, you are bold, you are outrageously capable of moving above the current situation and helping create solutions and generating positive energy and ideas that will help lift the human race. We all have a role, whether you are like my mom, hanging out in her retirement community lifting the spirits of others, or, like our team at work – on the front lines – caring for those that aren’t well and watching the news closely (and praying earnestly) so they know what step to take next.

Second, like the Osprey, we may need to look around and be ready to strike and to make it our place. I find such beauty in this. It’s simple. Look around. There is work to be done. Whether you find yourself in the quiet or in the middle of the chaos, God will make it clear where you can use your gifts or resources to move us out of this season. We need to lift our heads outside of our phones and television sets and insist that we acknowledge that we can do something. Even a child or a senior can spend an hour writing encouraging cards to healthcare workers and those in hospital beds that cannot see family right now. Insist that you and your family rise up. (A quick sidebar: One of our staff members and her family recently spent their night sorting scrubs for our front line providers and her children wrote notes to each of them. How cool is that?)

Folks, we ARE in a cultural shift. Our world will be changed after this. We will be talking about this for years – maybe decades. How it shifts is entirely up to us. My prayer is that we will SHIFT into a higher level of ourselves, to a higher awareness on what we can do together and that at the end we find ourselves loving each other better and stronger and even more than we ever have in our world’s history. This is our time to rise.

Better together

I often talk about community and the importance of us staying connected with people who accelerate the joy and growth in our lives. Joy can be found almost everywhere you can imagine, and perhaps almost always in the deep valleys of life – because God often sends just the right person or community to brighten our path and help us thru.

I was with a group of business women over the weekend and this message seems to be coming at me strongly. So many stories happening right now that could rock anyone’s world, but the power in how these ladies not only serve each other, but their families at work and at home, offers so much evidence for why cultivating relationships simply has to be a priority. We must do all we can to seek it out and be intentional. There is likely not a better return on an investment of time, energy or resources.

Along those lines, I was just in a one on one meeting with one of my amazing staff and she shared that one of her primary goals this year is finding happiness in the chaos. She wants to focus on the proactive versus reactive. We can talk about the latter in a post to come, because that certainly needs attention, but for now – joy! The joy found in community. I am certain she will find what she’s hoping for within the ranks of those who surround her if she places focus there.

I am always prayerful in these posts that at least one person needs the insight shared. Almost always it seems the “universe” conspires for the greater good by seeding the idea in my mind, ever hopeful that my words can bring out a few helpful thoughts.

Today, I hope you will know that we truly are better together. God designed us that way from the beginning. What a gift. Go hug your tribe today, make that call, send that message… it’s the best gift.