To Serve well

Serving with Excellence for a Life of Excellence

Adventures

Life: Gear changes, adapting and new rhythms…

What a wonderful read. Tunde Oyeneyin was a new instructor at Peloton right around the start of the pandemic. I have my favorite for sure, but Tunde is a nice change up and her bold presence resonates when I need a bit more than a push. I didn’t know her story, but I certainly knew that her youthful spirit brought a bit of spice and that she’s definitely a fire starter & thought provoker. She released her first book, ‘Speak,’ recently. It is sooo good! Trust me, it’s an easy read that offers something universally impactful on every page. And if you don’t really care about all of that, the book just down right looks great. The cover is FANTASTIC! I’d definitely recommend you add it to your summer lake, beach, mountain… or backyard reading list.

Now, let’s dive a bit into the quote above. Tunde happens to be talking about the unexpected deaths of her brother and mom & dad in this context. Throughout the book, she also covers her life experience in education, race and culture, adjusting to new cities, relationships, health/weight challenges, and career changes… effortlessly moving from one very real topic to the next.

The quote above is just flat out the truth. We face all manner of “gear” changes. (My memory of gears is getting my bell bottom jeans caught in them and finding myself with skinned knees. Anyone else?) We often find ourselves having to work through the challenge… questioning whether or not the bike is going to self correct, or if we are the ones who need to make an adjustment. All being real possibilities, including getting stuck and falling face down… or the alternative, pushing through and watching the bike adjust and power through.

I happen to like the idea of “rhythms.” I find myself trying to find the new one in each chapter and season of my life. With fits and starts, I always pray that I will find myself locking in and adapting. Somehow, I always have… I suppose we are all naturally resilient in that way. It’s definitely not at all always easy to find, but there truly is not many better feelings to me than the wind in my hair as the bicycle finds the natural stride of the terrain… movement is indeed medicine. Here’s to a season of honoring where we find ourselves and rocking it to the crazy beautiful rhythm of life.

What if I hadn’t

One of the highlights of my life are my friendships. No doubt I believe that these people were divinely appointed to be on my path. My creator knew … my imperfections, my wild heart and where I’d need a safety net or two. That led me to this whole “what if” thought. I’m not good at recalling the names of most movies I’ve seen, but I think I’ve seen one or two with the same theme. Oh how one decision changes our path!

What if I hadn’t taken that job…

I have so many women and men of faith that have literally surrounded me like the best NFL offensive line: Prayer warriors, deliverers of only the best energy and protectors of my soul. They have been my lifeline many days.

What if I hadn’t moved into that house…

And again, God surrounded me with neighbors that are now the very thread that connects and creates the fabric of not only my life, but that of my children… and eventually their children.

What if I hadn’t taken that trip…

I didn’t really want to go on that first women in business trip (an almost annual affair now) I’m busy… had young kids… insert every excuse… I exchanged those excuses for a plane ticket to the most beautiful destination: a circle of the strongest business women and some who just two months ago circled my son and his new wife in celebration of their marriage. They have become yet another life support for me.

I could play this out for another dozen or more stories, but my goal is always to be brief in my hope to stir your soul a bit.

What is the “what if” for you? Where do you need to stop and just be grateful for that path God has you on?! What potential meeting, trip, move, or other decision are you working through? Just imagine what might be on the other side of that!

I sit in gratitude today and I am so thankful for each of you. Have a deeply incredible week. I know it’s winter but the sun shines literally everywhere!

The assignment: What do you want to leave and what do you want to take with you in the next season?

The power in nature is incredible. I was given an assignment recently that I thought was awesome. It was also a bit harder than I expected it to be. In short: “Go out in nature – anywhere really – and find a rock. Hold onto it while you are walking and think through all that you are currently holding that isn’t helpful to you on your journey. After you have processed that, toss the rock aside and find something living – or that has recently lived – like a leaf for example and think through what you want to bring with you into the next season.” It was very therapeutic and unexpected.

The hard part was just that my mind didn’t want to go into that stream of thought. Getting out of our head and allowing nature to settle in and open our creative minds doesn’t just happen the moment you hit the trail. However, over the course of an hour or two, my mind cleared and I suspect yours might, too, if you give it a try. There is so much strong evidence that nature is perhaps the antidote to anything and everything that ails us. In a Psychology Today article from Nov. 4, the author shares that “Nature is the purest pathway to inner peace, and it recharges one’s energy and renovates the personality.” She goes on with three key benefits:

  • Harmony for the mind
  • Strength for the soul
  • Calmness for the body (going on to say that is it essentially has a “magical impact on our health.” – I love that)

As we head into the holiday and winter seasons, this seemed the perfect time to share this. Many have an extra day or two off this week, and taking the time to soak up some nature to connect and get grounded on what is good and useful and beautiful seems like a wonderful assignment. As we head into Thanksgiving tomorrow, I want you all to know that I count it a blessing to connect with so many of you via this brief blog and I am thanking God for the gifts you all are and praying for such a wonderful time of love and gratitude for you to experience over the holiday.

It’s time to add some fun to your calendar

I was in a conversation recently asking a friend what they are excited about. They honestly couldn’t think of anything. Have you ever been there? It’s been a long year plus and endless unknowns have created many to pause on planning pretty much anything!

I was thrilled to see that schools are actually planning to have graduations this year. The bottom line is that big and small “events” alike are important and are a significant part of the human experience.

“Studies from Cornwall University have found those who (for example) plan a trip in advance, experience better feelings about their social situation, economic means, state of health and life life in general.” (via goodnewsnetwork.com). When we have something to look forward to, we are filled with a sense of anticipation and even excitement. It can make the days leading up better and brighter.

Todays’ brief insight is focused on our mental health. Sure, it takes intention and planning, but regardless if it’s a staycation, a weekend getaway or a lifetime trip, (or not even a vacation at all, but a fun lunch or day out with those who bring you energy!) we will be happier and healthier if we take time to add some FUN AND JOY to our calendar. If you happen to take care of parents or loved ones in anyway, or even have young adults in your life, it would be good to see what they are planning, or help them come up with something to look forward to! There are so many opportunities at all price levels from free (well, maybe some gas in the car…) on up, so don’t let that be a deterrent.

I for one have a wedding I get to attend this weekend and I couldn’t be more excited to share in this love story. Praying for you all as you wrap the week and hoping to hear your adventure stories along the way!

What is your joy game plan?

“THE LAKE...” – One of the all time best places in the world. Who doesn’t love that feeling when you pull into your vacation destination (even if it’s just a weekend)? Unpacking the car, the snacks, the books/magazines, pool or lake side supplies… That alone gives me joy. The thought of after a long day on the water, (any water), with beach towels hanging over the deck, or strewn across the room… It also, gives me a rush of happiness.

But what about that good-tired feeling where everyone just collapses to watch some simple but fun comedy, or perhaps play a game or some cards if that’s how your tribe rolls? So refreshing!

Summer is prime time for a change up of routine. A time to set apart some time for seeking joy, fun and adventure. A time to shake off the daily grind and those things that can, at times, add up to stress that’s not serving you. (Yes, scientists do say, that stress does in fact serve us… more on that in another post.)

It is the perfect season of the year to bring back your favorite childhood memories. Mine revolve around the lake. Where do you find yourself smiling just thinking about those moments? A dear friend who I love, recently told me that hers were around long road trips across the country with her family, camper in tow, spontaneously stopping at super-cool, sometimes-random spots across the United States. I loved that and could immediately visualize the joy.

Before we get too deep into the summer, if you haven’t already I hope that you will put together your “joy game plan.” Whether it’s a staycation, a weekend full of lake hopping around our many beautiful local parks, or a longer trip… The only rule is to make sure it refreshes your soul. There is huge power in that. I would even call it a game-changer for you and those you love.

“A change of pace plus a change of place equals a change of perspective.””

– Mark Batterson

Perspective often improves our path, including generating massive creativity and better decision making.

Have the best wrap to your week, and an amazing weekend. If you have time, I know everyone would love to hear your “joy game plan” via the comments. It just might inspire someone and create a ripple.

The Culture Connection: Why travel is a priority

Rewind! This is a throwback post – an oldie but a goodie – as I am traveling this week. Enjoy!

I have made travel a life priority.

Along the way, I learned that whatever your budget — and whatever your goals with travel — it can be done with a bit of research and flexibility. There are so many stories out there of poor college students backpacking across Europe, and travel blogs that showcase journeys around our vast world. This is encouragement to many, as travel can seem to be a goal achievable only after retirement, if at all. In my viewpoint, even a trip to the lake can be a much-needed cultural shift from our day-to-day lives.

As it pertains to my writing on this blog, I truly feel that in order to serve well (for me) that travel is essential to creating a greater understanding of the people we share this planet with.

Here’s why: Being immersed in different cultures allows us to stretch and grow beyond our normal experience.

I have learned that whether it be a trip to New York City, Chicago, San Diego, or abroad to say, Australia (or my current journey in Barcelona), the customs from the time they eat meals to the way they approach their day opens me to new, potentially life-changing perspectives.

For example, in bigger cities, you seldom see anyone overweight. This is likely due to their active lifestyles to some extent, with a dependence on walking as a major means of transportation. It forces me to consider how to incorporate more of that lifestyle into my own.

In most countries I have visited outside of the U.S., the pace of life seems to be less frenetic and more reasonable. Even the average vacation time they are offered by employers is almost triple what we find here in America. It ties to a focus on overall wellness, it seems. I believe our country has a lot to learn in this area. (Side note: I have not been to the Asian countries, which I understand are more hurried in their approach, and perhaps it is due to the size of the population.)

One of my favorite authors (Batterson) is known for saying “a change of place, offers a change of perspective.” That is so very true. Somehow, when you are able to remove yourself from your routine, your mind “shifts” to a neutral zone that allows you to more easily embrace the beauty that surrounds us, even in the seemingly simple matters. I believe that notion leads us to achieve creativity and engage in life with a more health focused approach.

I try to keep these short, so will stop here. As the North Face slogan goes, I hope that you will “Never stop exploring,” and I hope this has inspired you to travel, local or abroad — just get out there!

Let’s dive right in (to the new year!)

(Rewind! This post is adapted from January 2018.)

I couldn’t resist the picture! I believe we need sunshine and as for winter… I’m praying it’s beauty is deep and it is only here for a bit longer!

Most of you have likely spent time reflecting on 2018,  putting thought into what you’d like to accomplish in 2019.  I have spent some time already, but intend to spend today taking a deep dive into this myself.  This effort always makes me feel like I have a working plan to put in motion.  I have found that it is completely true that writing down your thoughts and goals is a key part of achieving them.  To me, diving in is the only option. Taking action not only feels good, but it drives us forward.

What areas do you need to take action on? So many of your ‘one words‘ were so good and inspiring. How do you plan to make that happen? What does peace look like when it’s played out?  More time alone to reflect? … A deeper prayer life?  Time set aside time each morning?… What does joy look like? More time with friends? Family? Pets… or doing what fills your soul? …  What does release look like? How do I even do that? What do I need to let go of to optimize my life? How much of an impact can I make?….

My 2019 word, WISDOM, brings me to ask myself what areas I need wisdom in? (All is what came to mind.) Who do I need to have in my circle to optimize my life? And on…  (Oh and by the way, I started the Daniel Fast, so no social media for me over the next 21 days! I’ll still share my blog posts, but I won’t be mindlessly scrolling.What a great place for me to start!)

As you dive in, please know that you have a tribe of people supporting, encouraging and praying for you! I truly believe we can all accomplish whatever it is that helps us be our best. Of course that means, serving well – as in, really well!

3 reasons that managing expectations could elevate our lives

Boy, I’d love to be fishing right now… especially if it were, say, 70+ degrees.

Thanksgiving made this topic super current to me and perhaps it may help you too as we go into the holiday “season.” Here’s what I know: everyone has a different expectation of what life should look like and this is heightened during the holidays.

Some people hope to have the family in the kitchen with old and young kids alike, baking cookies and creating culinary creations that provide comfort and holiday spirit to the house. Some perhaps want “life as usual,” without a lot of fanfare. Some want the family to play games, or to load up in the family caravan in search of the greatest light displays. Some want to hide by the fire and watch Netflix or the football.

What I know to be true is that we all come in to our days with what is going on in our current lives and our own opinion of what would be the perfect experience.

There are three key points that I feel are obvious (but we can all use a reminder… especially  me!):

  1. Expectations are good because we all need to have dreams and know what would create happiness and joy for ourselves.
  2. Expectations are not good if they are not shared with those that may play a starring role in what you are hoping for.
  3. Expectations are best achieved when we are open and honest with one another and are also open to modify ours to meet the needs of everyone involved.

Sounds simple, right?

On vacations, we often have everyone go around and ask everyone what is one thing they really hope to do. I have never really thought about doing it on other occasions or maybe even a weekly basis but it’s something to consider for sure. We can certainly all elevate our lives by having healthy expectations and conversations around those! Food for thought today…

So, you thought you had a bad day

I don’t know when I have ever laughed so hard as when my friend sent me this…  She actually sent it after she shared the details with me about a horrific day she had. It involved all manner of crazy, including disagreements with several people, a tantrum with a family member (possibly the kind you may be married to…), the dogs getting out, dropping the groceries, etc. It ended at the end of a long day with sitting on the toilet before bed, and it literally shattering with water spraying all over the house… NOW, THAT IS A BAD DAY!

Have you ever felt like it couldn’t get any worse? Let this short story be a reminder that it could. Sometimes we have to literally just laugh at the pure out crazy. I know this time of year can make us all feel nuts. I mean, weren’t we just sitting with our toes in the sand a week ago? All of a sudden – and in a whirlwind – we have a million responsibilities, commitments and people counting on us. It can cause a fuse to blow, internally and externally.

Today and this week, make a decision to take a deep breath and try to smile through the chaos. Listen to some music or watch your favorite comedy to lighten the mood. Let’s not let crazy get the best of us!

The Radical, Strategic Mind

Happy almost weekend! As we wrap up the week, I’m mindful that with school pretty much back in session, those of us in the work place are also gearing up for a strong end of the year play.

To me, this season is sort of like January where we rise to the occasion and develop tactical strategies on how to achieve our professional goals. Come to think of it, we do this for our lives in general as well. It’s the ideal time to assess our wins so far for the year, and those areas where we haven’t hit the stride mark yet. The great news for all of us of course is we have more than a quarter of the year left — that’s plenty of time to regain perspective, strength and eventually hit the ball out of the park so to speak.

So what is a radical, strategic mind to you? For me, it’s getting out of the norm in thinking and allowing ourselves to be truly creative… to paint outside the lines. It is a fundamental difference in how we view whatever challenge is in front of us. Radical minds are those that are the voices of social and political change advocates, and those that often make the greatest impact.

The end of summer is a great time to fire up the mind. In theory, we had time to rest a bit and soak up some sunshine, and our minds and bodies should be prepared for a higher level of energy. My personal game plan is to identify a few key areas — for me, likely career and relationships — to focus on for the year-end wrap up.

Asking the right questions is critical right now:

How can I maximize my time to ensure I achieve my goals?

What areas can I “cut” or reduce so I can make more time for what is important?

What are the “must haves” that I have?

Who are the people I need to connect with?

What projects must get off of the ground? Are there some that I can move to next year? Why do they matter? Who can help me achieve these? 

What is a different approach that may be better?

Those are some of mine. How about you?

Have a wonderful weekend!